posted November 22, 2023 10:32 AM            

Composite ascendant in Virgo: I’m surprised the composite AC isn’t in Aquarius because we were a couple who raised eyebrows, having a 22-year age gap in a rather conservative community, and both having international backgrounds. The rest is pretty Virgoan though: We got married entirely for practical reasons (I needed health insurance) rather than for love. The relationship was also definitely a project in which I was trying to rescue him. The shadow of the relationship was very Piscean - addiction, mental (un)health and instability, spirituality, escapism, isolation were all major themes.

Sun conjunct Saturn and DC: I would say the relationship was characterized by Saturnian themes of responsibility. To begin with, we had a 22-year age difference (double whammy Saturn-Venus aspects in synastry) and the reason we moved in together after a year of dating was so that he could save money and get out of debt. Maturity and growing up were big themes of the relationship. For me, it was my first mature relationship, and I took that seriously. I dispensed with my romantic idealism and saw compromise as a necessary and mature part of relationship. However, in the process, I lost sight of my ideals and “settled.” This relationship shattered a lot of my illusions about love, but it also taught me ultimately not to give up on what I truly want in a relationship. For me it ultimately became extremely burdensome. I felt trapped by responsibility.

Moon in the 5th: It was definitely a very fun relationship when we allowed it to be. We bonded over our creative passions and even took turns teaching them to one another. We each have a childlike quality about us (both being fire moons) and were really drawn to one another's "inner child". I'd say there was a lot of inner child healing going on, and we indulged one another in that way. The nurturing vibe is probably helped by Ceres loosely conjunct.

Mercury (chart ruler), Venus, and Juno in the 6th: We worked really well together on a practical level in our daily affairs. Our daily lives were filled really Taurean/Venusian themes actually - lots of food, culture, and comfort, but not in an indulgent way. We were great at balancing one another’s needs and contributions, establishing healthy routines, and encouraging them in one another. With Mercury opposite Vesta in the 12th, I wonder if that speaks to us also deepening our spirituality together through daily practices like yoga and meditation. We went through periods of not drinking alcohol, restricting our diets, exercising together, etc. And like I said, the relationship progressed (first moving in together, then marrying, and even divorcing) for purely practical rather than emotional reasons.

North node in the 5th: I consider this the North Star of any chart and it certainly reflects my case. The relationship was never meant to be long-term; the 5th house rules short-term romance and flings. Certainly a romantic relationship was meant to be, but my own stubbornness kept it going far longer than it should have. Over the days of arguing while finally breaking up, we often talked about the many moments and opportunities we had to call it quits - when we should have broken up, but didn’t - usually because I refused to let go.

Grand Cross between Chiron (9)-Uranus (3) and Vesta (12)-Mercury (6): Maybe I can say that the strength of this relationship is that it was spiritually healing, for each of us in different ways. I think it helped both of us to experience a lot of love and acceptance from one another, and to communicate well about spiritual topics and connections. We did things like rapé and meditation retreats together. Or perhaps we could attribute these things to Jupiter and Chiron being caught in a grand trine/kite with the nodal axis.

Jupiter in the 1st opposite Mars in the 7th: The pursuit of the relationship was definitely at odds with our individual goals, and that’s why we eventually broke up - in other words, Jupiter beat Mars.

T-square with AC opposite Sun/Saturn/Venus squared by Neptune in the 4th: I do think the dream of a home kept us together and helped us work through conflicts. However, our dark sides also came out at home, especially with us both being homebodies, and we didn’t have much of a social life. Home also tended to suck us in and keep us isolated from the world. Even though the apex is supposed to be the positive resolution to the opposition, I think overall it dragged us down. Obligation (real or imagined) to our respective families kept us geographically trapped in a region we both loathed.