posted December 01, 2004 06:01 PM              

SCORPIO
(October 24 - November 22)
You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are a perfect Son of a ***** . Most Scorpio's are murdered.

CANCER
(June 22 - July 23)
You are sympathetic and understanding to other peoples' problems. They think you are a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you will always be on welfare and never be worth **** .
PISCES
(February 20 - March 20)
You have a vivid imagination and often think that you are being followed by the F.B.I. or the C.I.A. You have a minor influence over your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are generally a coward. Pieces people screw small animals and pick their nose a lot.

CAPRICORN
(December 22 -January 20)
You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically chicken **** . There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. You should kill yourself.

TAURUS
(April 21 - May 21)
You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell.. Most people think you are stubborn and bull-headed. You are nothing but a ******* Communist.

VIRGO
(August 24 - September 23)
You are the logical type and hate disorder. This nit-picking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while screwing. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.

ARIES
(March 2 - April 20)
You are the pioneer and hold most of people in contempt. You are quick tempered and impatient and scornful of Advice. You are a selfish prick.

LEO
(July 24 - August 23)
You consider yourself a born leader, Others think you are pushy. Most Leo's are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting, Leo people are thriving ******** and kiss mirrors a lot.

SAGITTARIUS
(November 23 - December 21)
You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on luck because you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarians are drunks and potheads. People laugh at you because you are always getting ****** .

GEMINI
(May 22 - June 21)
You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap ******* . Gemini's are notorious for thriving on incest.

LIBRA
(September 24 - October 23)
You are the artistic type, and have a difficult time with reality. If you are a male, you are probably a queer. Chances for employment and monetary gain are excellent, because most Libra women are ****** . All Libras usually get venereal disease.

AQUARIUS
(January 21 - February 19)
You have an inventive mind and are inclined toward progressiveness. You lie a great deal. On the other hand, you are inclined to be careless and impractical causing you to make the same mistakes repeatedly. Everyone thinks you are a ******* jerk

posted December 01, 2004 10:38 PM            

my favourite part is "people like you because you are bisexual"

posted December 01, 2004 11:07 PM              

And why is Scorpio first?

posted December 02, 2004 05:00 AM              

Didn't much appreciate the incest number tho, like HELLO where the heck did THAT come from?

*clearsthroat* no comment on the bi-sexual thing--but people DO like me

LOL

posted December 02, 2004 12:44 PM              

*preens*

posted December 08, 2004 12:32 PM              

I'm not pushy