posted January 12, 2005 06:30 PM              

I wont call, I wont send anything (I did send him two wonderful gift packages full of love and my special cookies he loves so much and a lot of other extra special gifts before!)

posted January 13, 2005 02:31 PM            

I would be leading you astray if I said that the CD's, gifts and cookies would bring him back. See, to most of us Archers that is a bribe, which again leads us back to guilt. If we come back because of a gift, then aren't we just using the person.

You have already said that there were big problems in your relationship. You did your soul search and identified those problems. Now, I am not sure all of what went on between the two of you, but I suspect there may have been demands on your part and the inability to commit on his part. Both actions are on the opposite ends of extreme, but both actions brought the same result. You are at a stand still.

I don't know if he will be back. I don't know how long this has been going on between you two or how many ultimatims have been given. Bofore I say more, I am going to look at the other thread, because I think you have more information concerning your relationship in it..I will be back..

posted January 13, 2005 03:22 PM            

How are you doing? I hope all is well....

Maya,

I would take Natasha up on that offer- she is one of the wisest ladies here and is a Taurus to boot

I did find more of your information on the other forum. I see you have Mars and Venus in Fire. Mars and Venus in the same sign can actually spur a person to "really really want something..and NOW". Combine that with it being in the fiery sign of Aries and I can see where you can come across as being kind of demanding..which isn't bad (but also look at the fact that even though your Venus conjuncts his moon so does your mars. Mars to moon conjunctions can be a bit intense with power plays).

Also, like Natasha said, he not only has Mars in Capricorn but also a Scorpio Singleton (my ex Leo had that and would run into his cave for days. I finally put a stop to it by NOT being available when he came out of his little stupor).

I have Pluto conjunct my Ascendant (within 2 degrees) in the first house. I NEED my solitude once in a while..to decompress, I if I don't get it I will become impossible and run or find some way to escape. It drove Mr. Taurus nuts, he LOVES affection and doesn't have quite the boundries that I do regarding privacy and secrets. He thinks I am very secretive, and I am in a way - but not in a way that indicates I am cheating.

It also seems like your Sag was acting out- getting drunk with his friends and you not saying anything about it. In the future you need to stand up to him. We HATE..especially those of us with an Aries moon, we hate weakness in those we depend on. If you let us play, we will do it until you finally say no- because we are testing you. Immature as it sounds- it is this little innate thing in us.

And Saggies, again, especially those with Venus in Sag, LOVE to flirt. It is how we express ourselves BUT we don't want the person. It is more of a verbal exercise, not a hunt for another person. The Leo I was with hated it, he would ask me "DO you have to be friendly with EVERYONE?" yes, I did, because it was my job being in technical sales and working in a male dominated industry. BUT, I did not dress provactively, nor did I ever cross the line and touch anyone.

The Taurus understands me better- maybe it is his Merc in Gemini, but it still gives him a bit of an upset stomach to see the way people respond to me. At first he tried to make me feel bad and said I was trying to be the center of attention- going so far as to say that his friends even asked why I was so friendly (that was BS and I called him on it). To me, I just want everyone to enjoy themselves and I hate when people are left out of the conversation. LOL...

One more thing-

I always advise people that get involved with Saggies to try and find one over the age of 25. Make sure the Sag is prepared for a commitment, because before that age most of us do NOT see us in that type of relationship. Some people dream about marriage, a family and all that comes with it their whole lives. They can't wait to grow up to start it. My dream, when I was 16 years old and on was to perfect my career, to live on my own in my own place and to live life to the fullest. There was NO dream of marriage or kids yet (I had decided my 20s would be for exploring and after I would settle down).

Your guy is only 22...have you asked him if he wants to settle down or where he sees himself in a commitment?

posted January 13, 2005 03:38 PM              

Seems like my emails really hurt him. He just called me and was very angry. His first words, were of course, that it was over between us. Then he asked me if I really thought he was immature. Basically, it got down to the point where he was downright rude and said it wont work because of my neediness. Now I have closure and it has left me hurting and so so much in pain, I cant beleive it. He is still here, but he wont talk and is rude if I call him.

He said he had to leave for california suddenly and had no way of contacting me. Even though I understand and love him for it, he has given me no credit for being worried or angry. I mean, what do you expect me to do? He had been really distant before he left and then he disappears for three days with no messages and no calls! I mean I am sure there were payphones in Cali that he could've used!

He also kept saying that I was probably gonna keep calling him and IMing him even if he told me not to - what does that mean?

posted January 13, 2005 03:52 PM              

It's not hard, it's necessary,

posted January 13, 2005 04:04 PM            

It is what you have to do. I think his hurt over the e-mail and his anger was most likely due to the guilt trips. BUT, he is young and he obviously has a need to travel and wander. That is his right- no where is it written that he must commit.

And no where is it written that you must settle for someone that does not want to commit.

Cry, get it out, write on this board about all of your hurt...that is healthy..in time the pain goes away. I always tell myself- 1 month from now I won't feel as hurt, 5 months from now I will not remember the pain, a year from now I will ask myself what I ever saw in him and why I made it such a big deal.

Write down what you loved about him, what you hated about him- what you want in life..etc...

posted January 13, 2005 04:08 PM              

I am among people whom I cannot tell abt him or even talk to. I have now to go and put on my Happy face and pretend I am ok and everything is fine with me.

posted January 13, 2005 05:13 PM              

Pidaua, you are a source of strength for me - your wisdom and warmth reaches out across the ethers ...

posted January 13, 2005 07:53 PM              

Buy some hearts at the dollar store and put them on your walls. My hallway looks like the inside of Valentine's Day dime store, but I don't care. Let people think I am needy. I don't want anyone around me without a heart anyway.

You will find other people think the same way you do and they are not pathetic, they are strong and happy. Make friends with couples who are in healthy relationships and do not hang out with single men for a while. Take a break:>

The Sag could not receive love or affection, and he couldn't give it the right way either. Some people cannot and have had no practice in loving, maybe their parents never held them or touched them and they only know sexual touching and comfort. That is sad. Taureans like lots of touching, non sexual comfort, it does not mean they are needy or non sexual, or believe in only love. But comfort is opening up and showing your vulnerabilities and if someone made you feel you could and then they ran away it's their problem not yours. After all you did all the comforting you could, he was the one who was needy.

He was needy and scared of his vulnerabilties and openness. If he did fall in love with you and say it, then he would leave anyway to get his head together not even realizing how much it hurt you because he is overemotional to bail like that.

Taureans are strong, very strong, and he could assert himself so he is gone to fix whatever is wrong with him and get himself together. You think everyone is more together than you but it's not true.

I used to think this Capricorn I met was sooo together. We fought once over intimacy and he said that my emotional needs were not acceptable compared to his physical ones. We fought and it was horrible. I felt guilty. Well one year later who should I meet in line at the post office? And who had a big fake grin all over his face? Because he needed me to be friendly? I turned away and looked right through him. Which I regret, but hey I'm only human.

Who says what's acceptable and what's not? Be strong in your issues, they are you, and they are what will make you loved and popular if not always strong.

BTW Taurus women are not vamps, we don't like virgins. You need a real man, a strong man who is comfortable with his role to put his arms around you every night, and you will find that.

Natasha

posted January 13, 2005 10:23 PM            

Thank you for your compliments. I used to be like your Sag..but you are worth so much more..you have that strength that Natasha is talking about. He isn't ready for the love you have and you don't need a man like that.

It is hard to say goodbye - I know it hurts. Yes we Archers can be very entertaining, but in our unevolved stage that is as far as we go. We are not healthy for those that are more evolved.

Take it as a sign that you are more advanced that he is. I believe that you will find your true love...

Astrologically, Saturn in Cancer is whacking your Mars and Venus. It is teaching those lessons about love, trust and sexual energy. You have the inner strength to take it..he is also learning lessons..I have an Aries moon like he does..he will learn that there is more to life that the career..if not now, then when Saturn hits him again when it is in Aries and before that his rising will be affected when Saturn goes into Leo.

Keep writing..keep getting it out..never bottle things up (like us Archers do) and you will only evolve even more.

You are a sweet and strong soul, that is apparant.. and I am sure you are a wonderful mother - he needs to be free right now, to make his mistakes and you can't be his mother.

posted January 13, 2005 11:31 PM              

But then i read this, which Natasha posted:

"But comfort is opening up and showing your vulnerabilities and if someone made you feel you could and then they ran away it's their problem not yours. After all you did all the comforting you could, he was the one who was needy."

posted January 13, 2005 11:56 PM              

Don't ever lose hope! Love does not hide behind any one face or person. We send love your way now and always. And hope is never lost, believe me, there are so many wonderful people who we can connect to in so many different ways, and share wonderful little weird moments with. Keep the magic of your life alive; I know it seems impossible right now, but its the perfect time to indulge yourself to give you that boost you need so badly.

Dont feel alone; no one is alone, and especially no one in this forum is alone. For anyone and everyone reading this, my heavy scorpio influence feels your pain and sends you healing powers I have been through many similar painful experiences... i have died and lived many times, it seems, within one life, because each time something happens, I emerge as a different person, changed yet unchanged. And although I may curse my fate, I have come to realize that each time I emerge stronger. It's because of all the love and respect and hope I get from the different people in my life; even if they come and go, they give me moments to cherish and wonderful bits of love to hang on to.

I send prayers and thoughts your way maya, and remember, we're all here for help always!

posted January 13, 2005 11:59 PM              

Im the FIERY Forthright ARies In love with the intense scorpio. No i dont have a suicide wish nor a fools hope at making magic happen.
I am drawn to this man for many reason. I LOVE Him because, I know his heart. The few times we shared have been very intense and I crave more of it.
AS he said to me last night " Im an Aries woman that is use to being in control"
And the fact that I can't control him makes me want to know and learn more ...........

posted January 14, 2005 10:29 AM              

I know he is probably missing me too, but now I dont really want him to call or come back.

One thing that really disturbs me is his insistance in our last conversation that I would not stop calling him or contacting him, even after he told me it was over. It freaks me out because he is a hypnotist and stuff and uses words to get what he wants. He told me how he would deny wanting someone just so that person gets even more attracted to him - maybe he was playing games with me again. Whatever it was, I am not falling for it again.

Thank you so much, all my friends at Lindaland, for sending strength and light my way. You have helped me heal and dust myself off and stand up again. Its far from over, but I know with such wonderful angels around me, I will make it through this most difficult time.

posted January 14, 2005 02:07 PM            

Maya,

Nah, I think he is testing you, to see if you will call. Let him be the one to make the more or to not make the move. What you are experiencing, the dreams and feelings, that is totally normal. If there is still that spark- if he has those deep feelings for you- your silence will speak volumes and will allow him to think about what he wants. Let him make the first move- or no move at all.

Moonshine, did you experience this with your Saggie and what did you do? Your story may help out Maya.

posted January 14, 2005 03:53 PM              

but I promise to soon forget
the contract we almost made ... you'll feel
the swift response of an equal
as dreams begin to fade
I'll drown you in pseudo kindness
and a casual friendly glance
I can almost imagine your blindness
as I watch and wait
for the chance
to suddenly, cruelly make you know
just how easy it was to let you go ....

posted January 14, 2005 07:18 PM              

I havent read this whole thread, just the first post. Just wanted to say, I've been in some extremely astrological mismatched relationships myself. I dont know, I guess you have alot to learn from these people. They play parts that you arent so familiar with and that can be intruiging, and it's usually never boring. It's always exiting to be with someone who is squaring and opposing yourself. But whether it will last is a different story.

I myself, love fire signs especially. They are very different from this triple earth sign, but I seem to get on with them very well. Air signs usually bore me, but they can be fun sometimes too. My best but also most tumultuous love was an Aries with an Aqua Moon, Virgo rising. Which put his moon in my first house, and mine in his, so we really connected emotionally. Everyone around us hated him, except me. I saw what others couldnt see.

I hope you find your perfect fit soon. He's out there.

"Love is a fire.
But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house,
you can never tell."

posted January 15, 2005 01:10 PM              

Pid and Natasha are pretty great though, aren't they?