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Author
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Topic: Pluto in the 9th
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Heart--Shaped Cross
Newflake Posts: 0
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted February 05, 2005 09:57 AM
  
I think I'm beginning to understand some of Pluto's operations in my 9th.How I enjoyed a great many enthusiasms, and how I abandoned each one the very moment it was encouraged. I could not stand to validate the status quo. It's like that little girl who plays chess in the joy luck club. her mother brags about her, lives vicariously through her, as if to validate her own supreme competency as a mother. So she stops playing. Out of sheer spite. I'm that little girl (lol!). I was good at so many things. I really think I supressed my creativity, when I began to see how it was being used to define me and those who pretended to have raised me. But, who can understand this paradox, -
that I did not want to be loved for any reason at all; that I could not bare to see love confounded and profaned by mere reasons?!?! It was a rebuke to me, to learn that, if I was going to be loved only in part, and only according to reason, it was perhaps because I myself had loved others, only in part, and only according to a distribution of reason. The word makes me ill, not because it is not a noble word, but, because it does not stand comparison with a word like "love", and yet, this is the very custom of the day! What was I talking about?
Oh, yeah, Pluto in the 9th;
what my first - no, second -
psychiatrist said about me;
that I had a "fear of success". An ugly expression, but I know precisely what he meant. I cannot vainly disregard this profound anxiety, which reaches to the very cockles of my being, and makes me question. And I am afraid that, were I to "succeed", as he suggests, and as others would be pleased to see me do, it would of necessity be on a superficial level, and not of a nature to transform me FROM THE ROOTS. Is it that I must learn, as the world believes, that such transformation does not happen over night; that "rome wasn't built in a day"? But, then, didnt Jesus say, "if you tear down this temple, I will rebuild it within three days"? A temple that took centuries to build.
"What are these churches now, if not the sepulchres and tombs of God?"
- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
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"I want to love first,
and live incidentally."
- Zelda Fitzgerald IP: Logged |
ghanima81
Moderator Posts: 520
From: Maine
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 05, 2005 10:06 AM
Interesting question, HSC. What do your Jupiter and Saturn aspects look like, btw? Pluto is certainly an important factor in terms of 'destiny' and 'irreversable transformation', but I'm wondering, as far as lessons go, what you have going on there. Also, do you have any Virgo influences, or perhaps a strong Chiron aspect in a fixed sign?  Ghani p.s. I have done the same thing... love my mother, but man, she really wanted me to be a movie star/rock star/president of the USA, and I'm a waitress... what a rebel....  IP: Logged |
Heart--Shaped Cross
Newflake Posts: 0
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted February 05, 2005 10:24 AM
Hi Ghani!,Let's see, I know Uranus is considered to act compulsively - it is conjunct my sun and very closely conjunct my venus. I know the moon has to do with the past. It is in the 1st house, in Aquarius. Saturn is my Ascendant ruler. It is in the 8th house, in Virgo. The North Node is also in Virgo, in the 8th. (I have a lot going on in the 10th as well.) Saturn sextiles my asc, sun, venu, and uranus. It squares mars/merc and neptune. And trines Chiron. Jupiter is intercepted in leo in the 7th,
trining a merc/mars conj,
and neptune in Sag.
Jupiter (fixed fire) is also
Square Sun (Fixed water),
Square Chiron (fixed earth),
and Opp Moon (fixed air). Chiron is also squaring my moon (the only other planet in the lower hemi-sphere of my chart; unless you're in the habit of counting the pisces SN), and oppositioning my sun. Jupiter is aspecting every planet but Saturn.
So, either Jupiter is the lead planet in a "bowl" configuration, or the whole chart is a funnel into Chiron in Taurus, in the 3rd.
Dont mind me. Be the coolest waitress you can be, I'm sure you'll rock anyway. You'll rock because you'll know humility, while I'll still be writing escapist nonsense and gagging on my pride.  IP: Logged |
ghanima81
Moderator Posts: 520
From: Maine
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 05, 2005 12:08 PM
Ha! Pride!! Tell me about it... Leo moon in my 5th, I know all too well about pride, mate. An Aquarian moon, you say?... Hmm... I would think perhaps a childhood of polite compromise and the feeling of ''doing what is good for the beehive'' may have plagued you a bit, i.e. trying to please everyone, or at least feeling that you had to. My mother has this same aspect... Rebellion from authority may have made this need to please frustrate you to no end, and it's effects are apparent to this day. Pile on top of that a multi-sextiled Saturn in Virgo and Virgo NN, you may suffer physically from the strain of this self-imposed torture... such as ulcers, migraines, depression and high anxiety, if you allow it to defeat you.
I also have a merc/mars conj., but in my 11th, trining jupiter and saturn in my 6th. This can be a positve thing for you, as Leo is a strong sign and one that is very dynamic, a go-getter of sorts. Jupiter is how we deal with the problems Saturn throws at us to teach us lessons, and a strong sign here can be highly benificial, if you can learn to channel that energy. A scorpio sun squaring Jupiter may be the cause of pent up frustration, as sometimes scorpio is so overpowering, it's energies can be bottled or spoiled if not properly dealt with. I am learning now not to look at the squares in my chart as negative (I have some baddies, too, like sun square pluto; venus square jupiter and saturn, yuck), but rather a challenge to be faced and with an understanding that once I meet these challenges, I will be that much better off. Chiron is a very tricky planet, and one that does need more attention than it gets IMPO. Chiron in Taurus (I have this as well) indicates a rational touch to emotional dealings. A search for perfection in beauty, art forms and expression often slaved over until you have achieved what you consider your 'best effort'... often keeping these things hidden for fear that they are not good enough... not to others, but to yourself. In the third house, Chiron may cause you to have fears about the knowledge you have, or that which you have to attain in the future. I see an almost self-defeating aspect here, but not one you have to live with forever. That Pluto 9th thing.. I can see your quest for spiritual peace, one that you often get confused about as you travel down your path. Don't let yourself believe there is only one truth, there are many.. you merely have to accept them as they come, and not worry too much if they will hurt you. With pain comes understanding, and growth. That is all my opinion of your aspects. I may be totally off there, but that is the vibe I get. Call it intuition. Ghani IP: Logged |
Heart--Shaped Cross
Newflake Posts: 0
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted February 05, 2005 12:31 PM
you hit the nail on the head,
but I would've said,
"wasp's nest",
not "beehive".Every time i started to get a little enthused, a little impassioned, out came the "calm down"s, "there there"s; the "what are you getting all worked up over"s, and the "maybe you need to spend another week in the hospital"s; "maybe you weren't ready to come out"s, etc. I like what you said about Leo.
It's reassuring. And, yes, I feel that;
about Scorpio being "bottled or spoiled if not properly dealt with". You say a lot of good things. I've also read that the 3rd house is like a gateway to the 9th, and it signifies issues which must be dealt with before the true potency of the 9th house can even be accessed. I wonder what Chiron here means for me.
steve
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