posted December 20, 2005 04:52 AM              

I have been called "cold" simply due to the fact that I honestly refused to take on the problems of everyone around me who seemed to be so comfortable dumping all their **** on me. I have a lot of empathy, but I have to think of myself as well.

What people don't understand is that Cancers genuinely feel for people, and as such, when you unload your burdens on them, they 'actually' carry them for you and with you. People go crazy with this though.

Grr, just bitching because there are so many of such people in my life right now, and in the end, I turn out to be the biatch, after everything I went through with them. I turn around once and take a break for myself, and am labelled all kinds of **** .

posted December 20, 2005 05:32 AM              

However, if I make a commitment to be sensitive to others needs, I follow through to the end. Not when I felt I have had enough or your "psychic sponge" is full.

Perhaps the problem lies in not carefully considering what you are commiting to.

Helping other people - REALLY helping rather than tossing superficial sympathy their way is a tough tough task to endure.

It requires complete commitment and the ability not to judge them when they mess up. Funnily enough the people I most find myself helping out are in fact Cancers because nobody else seems willing to do so.

So I also understand Cancers annoyance at "people dumping their problems" - its true and I have seen it many times.

But when you guys need to recognise the people out there that really do "get" you and stop this defensive reaction that I believe hurts you the most in the long run.

Older Cancers seem to have so much pain left over from things they have let go through fear or peoples rubbish that they have taken on and not dealt with.

Commitment to yourself and others is needed, not a haphazard "nursing" attitude.

One final thing - a Water Sign can never ever be truly devoted to themselves as no.1. Thats the point of water unfortunately. You have to find a way of helping yourself through helping other people. Thats why the cycle seems to continue despite our tyring to break it occasionally and in the end resenting ourselves and evryone else.

posted December 21, 2005 05:30 AM              

Believe me Silvermoon I do. Pisces have thier own weaknesses and I am the first to admit them.

Especially my own. Lots and lots of them unfortunately. But that doesn't make my experience any different.

I would hope honest commentary wouldn't create such a fuss. I have already said I avoid stereo-tyes, I am describing more an energy than individuals here, but I will justify myself only as much as I feel is nessecary here. I will say that there are Cancers and Cancer Moons on this very forum that defy this here themselves and are evolved. Most actually.

I have just seen the negative side of Cancer a lot and always find its difficult to get them to face their own dark side. I also know I am not the only one here to have had experience of this, but the comments go somewhat ignored.

But, to be daring enough to be frank here, I guess that is part of your karmic lesson in a way, you are being initiated into Water, so perhaps I am being unfair here and expecting too much.

They always have good hearts, that is without question. But the "victim" complex irks me as all the major figures in my life have been Cancers and they all have let me down. And none can see their faults.

There is negative and positive in everyone, you just have to be honest enough to see that or you can't grow.

I guess this must seem bitter but it really really isn't. As someone who has grown up around Cancers I feel I have a right to offer my own perspective without being shot down as a "Cancer-hater", which in fact might prove my point.....

And I will only apologise for negative feedback to a certain degree. I always emphasise the positive, always.

I'll leave it now so as not to cause any more offence as I clearly have.

Swerve

posted December 21, 2005 01:49 PM              

And no, I don't think that Cancers should be dumping grounds at all. I think you can be shocked by how much you have taken on sometimes and it then becomes almost an unconscious reaction to shut it down right? If there was no conscious decision to do so how can you be blamed for that?

Its when it was choice that I think the whole process has to be examined from a view of enduring compassion.

I think perhaps I am being percieved as attacking Cancer more than I am. I am talking from a viewpoint(my own individual interpretation I MUST stress, and has not proven to be totally infallible either....) of the IDEAL Cancer or Pisces. Not us day-to-day people. Its about the Cancer energy and the Pisces energy. Thats why examples weren't detailed.

If I was preaching about how perfect Cancers should be I would be the biggest hypocrite of all.

BUT, from a viewpoint of the ideal I am commenting on how the Cancer energy can be misdirected or misunderstood by themselves. Which is the point or we would be the next sign along right? But surely aiming for the best you can be is also the point right? Unless you want to go around the karma wheel again.

I may not even be talking from a Piscean viewpoint here (I do have lots of Aquarius influences), but have first-hand experience of Cancers close to me as I said (and I have my Moon in the first house which makes me VERY Cancerian).

I have an insight here I think.

You will notice that there have been MANY anti-Pisces chains here in the past (matched only by Gemini and Scorpio), so discussing both sides is always a good thing.

Cancer retreat can become frozen, and denial then ensues - from my experience.

The ideal for me is a Cancer who is secure in themselves (much easier said than done for anyone), and can choose to really help those they lend their big open hearts to. But, also avoiding letting a bitter resentment resound against the walls of their shells and tainting their own special brand of compassionate vision and support.

I think the world be a poorer place without them, but enriched by the presence of a Cancer who really embodies the essence of the sign.

I'm sure we all know a couple of those right? And, to ,make this all relevant to the actual question asked, wherever they are the world would have a true friend, and they would take their home with them, or create that feeling for those they move with. Just an adapted version of the old stereotype.

posted December 21, 2005 03:38 PM              

The problem doesn't lie in the 'stereotyping'. It lies in the way it is interpreted. There are very very few things that Linda says about Geminis that aren't true. I might even venture to say they would all be true for me. But, some people *interpret* these traits as NEGATIVE, whereas I don't think so. Is being fickle or having multiple relationship partners/promiscuity negative? Most other signs, and some Geminis, say yes. I say, no or it depends. I have been so, but never 'lied' to my partner about it. This is a very Gemini/Aquarian trait--playing the field. I don't think its negative, I think it comes with the territory.

Yes there are traits I'd rather not have or like to smooth them down a bit when I see how dignified other signs can be But, I knowthat Geminis are usually very caustic, controversial, complex, have mental problems yes, and can date thousands of people in one year. That is just fine! I stopped looking at these things as 'negative' or 'positive' because people were sneering at these Gemini traits. I am just fine with them! And now I only look for men who are just fine with these traits too, mainly the Air group, *very* few Fire suns, or Earth sun men.

I truly do think however that every single Cancer I've known, even if they aren't really at home or devoted to their home, they always are somehow involved in the home or it is important to them (ditto with AJs home wrecker comment). Even Cancers who are very progressive would like their partner to be a homebody if they themselves are not (a projected trait). However, I do admit I could be wrong; this reflects my experience only.

posted December 21, 2005 03:43 PM              

Most Cancers cannot strike the balance between the four parts....at least the ones that I have seen. I have seen a lot of Pisces strike the balance better, and Scorpios as well with other influences in their charts. Cancers, well...may have a harder time admitting their faults and then balancing it with logic, practicality, and initiative. In Air, I think Gemini has this problem (being dual...and also being like psycho ). So I can relate. We can push logic to the extreme, which is as annoying, as pushing emotion or lack thereof to the extreme. It doesn't lie in the emotional component only, but the sheer focus on emotion only as the way to respond to *everything*.

posted December 21, 2005 05:51 PM              

I've found that when I make some type of assumption that I'm superior to some other group of people; it comes back and bites me in the butt. At times it's so automatic I don't realize I'm creating that separation.
I'm mentioned this because I'm starting to see some finger pointing and similar attitudes. Hopefully we could recognize this and clear away from this.

posted December 21, 2005 07:49 PM              

You do have a point with the "secure" cancer and the one who misdirects their energy. As a matter of fact I knew two girls who are born within the same five day span as me. One has a leo moon, I have a virgo moon, and the last one has a libra moon. Now we all have alot of the same aspects. The leo mooner is a VERY loyal person on one hand, and would give you the shirt on her back. Me, I guess you could say I can have negative and intense moods because of heavy moon placement (virgo/8th) but I think I'm pretty reasonable because I don't let my emotions cloud my judgement, and I don't throw away friends unless they did something to deserve it (like back stabbing). I think the libra mooner is the one that sounds the most like your "flaky" cancer friends. All I can say is you can never depend on her. The way she carried herself was like "ughhh" (my cappy rising speaking )

Well, I'm done rambling if you can make sense of all that (lol). My point is that we're all individual people, we all have birth charts, and therefore were all different.

posted December 22, 2005 01:13 AM              

Swerve's comment:
However, if I make a commitment to be sensitive to others needs, I follow through to the end. Not when I felt I have had enough or your "psychic sponge" is full.

I agree with that, and it's ideal, isn't it? I just know that people can and will go too far with having you 'be there for them'. I am not saying to turn away anyone genuinely in need, even when it's hard/draining/inconvenient/ for you (as water folk, we'd know), neither am I saying to expect anything in return. My point was, though, if you have ever had somebody just not want to help themselves at any cost, after you have done all you can, there does come a time when you have to look after your own spiritual wellbeing, perhaps turning the situation for the best for all the people involved, by exercising enough self-discipline to sometimes perhaps withhold what it is they most need at the moment, in order to save themselves and yourself.

SG - I agree perception and interpreation play a big part. But perception was not my point, I was outlining some of the most common traits astrologers state as fact that I find somewhat innaccurate, and I just painted them with some aggressive wordage to make my point. The same traits could have been expressed as positives - hence perception, eg: undoubtedly enjoys the company of large familiar groups consisting of lover, friends, and family together (instead of the way I put it) I don't deem all of them as negative as it may have sounded, I was just making a point.

posted December 22, 2005 05:59 AM              

Histrionix - boy they really can take liberties with our compassion sometimes can't they? Its a free ride of feelgood factor for them and they squeeze and squeeze until we have nothing left for them or ourselves. You HAVE to guard against this.

But isn't it difficult sometimes to know who needs you, those who only think they need you, those who abuse or manipulate you and those who you use to make yourself feel good.

Its a very complicated arrangement.

Thanks for letting your guards down. I adore Cancers when they realise they aren't being attacked. I have never felt more at peace than when I am holding a Cancer girl. Its like its the only time we can ever truly feel safe to be who we are.

Thats why it hurts so much that my relationships with my Mother and my ex-girlfriend have become so poisonous. Its like I tasted Heaven and then it was taken away. I wish they could see I am on their side.

I can get so frustrated with Cancers, but I also understand your reactions too.

posted May 31, 2020 06:01 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by MoonDuchess88:
Sorry, but since when did we become the dumping grounds for the world's problems? My first obligation is to myself then I worry about other people. Nothing superficial about that. I used to be the person that was there for everybody but very few ppl returned the favor. Not anymore. And also, there is alot I can say about pisces because I've known some bad ones who don't think twice about stabbing you in the back. In fact, I think twice about dating a pisces man because of two-facedness I've experienced with this sign But I also know and love my sister (pisces/gem/scorp).

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Hello
Would you mind sharing the 2-facedness details of your experiences with Pisces Sun men please? Do you recall their Venus Sign(s), House Placement(s), Aspects, and any inhabitant planets in the 5th and/or 7th House(s)?
Thank you!

posted May 31, 2020 06:08 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by lioneye68:
I agree, Kat. But I think this could be said for all signs. Some people are the epitome of their sun sign while others seem to be very little like their sign. We have to be carefull not to make knee-jerk assumptions about anybody based simply on their sun sign, because like Moonduchess said, we all have our own individual charts.

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True, some Fire Sign natives are often the epitome of their Sun Sign.

posted May 31, 2020 06:12 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Charisma4:
I have Cancer rising and I'm a total homebody, although my Libra sun and Leo moon do make me extremely social. But at the end of the night, i start to get homesick. I hate staying away from home for a night, and i'd rather be at my house then at someone else's. I'm also very very motherly to all my friends, even my parents. I'm always listening to my dad's problems at work and giving him advice, my mom's too airy to take advice though, she has so much gemini in her chart, usually advice doesn't sink in; she's so independant.

I also find myself overanalyzing emotions. Not only mine, but everyone's. Which is why I want to be a psychologist

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Do you have any other Fire planets, or Fire House placements?