posted August 14, 2006 04:10 PM              

However, 14 years ago, I met a musical star. Well, I didn`t really meet him, I saw him on TV. He fascinated me like noone else until then, and yet I was terribly scared of him (He has the face of an angel, but all I could see was darkness in him, or maybe not darkness, but a certain feel of danger). However, I calmed myself and told myself that I would never have the chance to see him live, since he was in Vienna at that time, and I am living far far away from Vienna.

Well, the year after I saw him on that TV show, he moved to a city, only one hour away from me. Shock No 1.
But I pretended to not care. I stayed away from each and every musical he has played in in my neighbourhood (I love musicals, so that was a hard task).
I even detached from musicals generally just to not run into him, coincidentally. I knew he was gay, I knew he had a boyfriend, and above all I knew, that he unsettled me.
Well, he wasn`t the only reason I turned away from musical. There was a year, when all my life just broke down. All my faith, my belief (I had always been very spiritual, believing in telepathy and those things). And in that year it all broke down; I couldn`t believe anymore. I felt like I was dying inside.
However, it wasn`t long after my withdrawel from musicals and anything spiritual (my mother called it: Behave like a grown-up!), that several friends came to me to ask about him. I had noone told about him, but they knew I loved musicals and he was a musical star. And it turned out that he had been in hospital, because he had been having a nervous breakdown or something like that, and my friends had friends, who were working at that hospital. *sighs*

However, coincidence! I told myself! (Oh btw I even looked up his phone number, just as a joke; I mean I didn`t really expect to find it in a phone book. But I did. And surprise surprise, it was almost identical to mine except for one number, and a different city of course. Another coincidence.)
Well, a few months after that, my aunt forced me to see a certain musical. I didn`t want to go there. I was scared going there. And I didn`t understand this. And no, for once in my life, I didn`t know who would be member of the cast. It`s not really a surprise, that this particular musicalstar was playing the lead, no?

Time went by, I moved to another city, a small town at the end of the world. With no culture, no theatre, no musicals. I was starving! I can tell you.
I had opened up to musicals again, at that point.
And one day, I was walking down the street, I was feeling a certain pull into a direction, and when the feeling of being pulled stopped, I found myself in front of a huge advertisment with his face. He was doing a tour, and was giving a concert in that town. That town at the end of the world.
Okay, I know, another coincidence.

This year - another job, another town, again at the end of the world, this time the other end- my friend suddenly insisted of us going to a musical open air concert. My friend doesn`t even like musicals! But she insisted, she even bought the tickets. I didn`t really want to go there. A pattern I know. *sighs* Yes, he was there. Of course he was there.
Several other things happened, so many coincidences, and now the greatest coincidence of all is happening.
Because not only is he giving a concert in the town I`m living during the week. No, I could live with that, somehow.
But, what really shook me up, is, he is producing a cd. And he is producing it in my home-town, where my parents are still living. He is producing it there, when I will be there (I planned to spend my holidays in october at home with my parents), and not only that, the sound studio is only 4 or 5 houses away from my parent`s house.
I am really scared now!
Isn`t it enough, that I`m totally out of my mind, whenever I`ve seen him on stage?
It always takes days to get down to earth again, to return to reality, it always feels so "otherworldly".
And now I will even have to be afraid of running into him, coincidentally of course. *sighs*

so I gave in (a little) and had a look at our synastry and Davison chart.
And it shocks me. Really.
IN our synastry we have:
His Saturn square my Sun and Mercury (ouch)
His Moon trine my Sun and Mercury
His Moon in my 4th house
His Venus conjunct my Venus (my 1st house);
His Venus is square my Pluto
My Venus is square his Mars
his Mars is exactly conjunct my Pluto
His Vertex falls also exactly onto my Pluto
His Eros is exactly conjunct my Venus (and square my Pluto of course)
His Sun falls into my 1st house
My Mars, Neptune and ASC fall into his 8th house
and so on.
Well, there`s a little bit much Pluto, no?

And the DAvison chart actually confirms this.
Here we have Moon conjunct Pluto in the 8th house and both, Moon and Pluto, square the sun in the 12th house.
Furthermore there`s a Venus-Mars-conjunction in SCorpio, but opposite Saturn near to the nadir

Well, well, well, what do you say? There`s a little bit PLuto-action in it, isn`t there?
But what a waste of sexual energy! lol Knowing that he`s unavailable, and so.
I just don`t get it. Why does he always "almost" crosses my life? What does fate wants to tell me?
Just pulling a joke on my expense? One big cosmic error?

Oh well, thank you for reading this. I just had to get this from my chest.
And I still don`t understand what this is supposed to mean.

posted August 15, 2006 12:58 AM              

I`m female, and that is what makes things a bit complicated (only in this case, since he is gay or bisexual).
Also, I always read that Venus-Pluto, Venus-Mars and Mars-Pluto aspects show a strong sexual attraction, but since his orientation wouldn`t allow that, I am just uncertain, what can those aspects mean in our case?

posted August 16, 2006 01:57 PM            

I have been having somewhat similar astro-wacky going on with me. I am fascinated by a famous American singer. Normally I am NOT the type to act like a dumb screaming fangirl, but it's almost hypnotizing, and I can't help but think we'd hit it off if we COULD ever meet. (Which of course, we cannot ever because famous and unfamous people do not mingle in America.) I found out where he was born (alas, no birth time) and did some comparisons, and we have a lot of similar planets and affinities and alignments, he has planets that conjunct my antiVertex and I have one that conjuncts his Sun/Moon, and we have close-ish node placements. The composite chart (as far as I could do) is very warm and fuzzy, and oddly enough there's a lot of telepathic stuff between us, good sexual stuff, warm and fuzzy friendship aspects. Either way, he has the same desperate desire to partner VERSUS desire to be free that I do, so at least he'd get that with me and vice versa. At least he'd understand that. I usually end up dating someone that can't be around 24-7 (lives out of town, etc) so I can naturally get some space from whoever I'm with.

But I'm a difficult person (have a T-square right in the relationship sectors- Saturn square Moon and Venus and the Moon and Venus oppose each other) and since he's six months older than me, his Saturn exactly sets all of my squares off. *sigh* But I guess you need those bindings somewhere. On the other hand, I do wonder if that means I'd just feel karmically bound to ANYONE around my age, period, and that maybe this isn't so special. But the rest of it seems pretty well matched.

Of course, the one big difficulty if we ever met is that I don't want children- I have an enormously stressful family now and I am horrible at nurturing and I do NOT plan on carrying that on with my own biological babies- and he has made it pretty clear that he does. So if we ever met, the relationship would go to hell despite the synastry/composite because I don't want little rock star babies. So inherently, I KNOW it is a good thing that I will never, ever meet him. And yet, I am so drawn to the guy that I really do want to meet him and see if he'd feel the same way or treat me as just another stupid fangirl. But again, that will never happen for me, so karmic ties aside, it doesn't really matter how I feel.

But with you...you COULD meet him. And honestly, if I were you...I think I might just go with it and meet him already. You are being lucky enough to be offered all of these opportunities to do it, something that doesn't happen to most people (including me, and I'm kinda jealous of that!). I kind of wonder if enough of this comes up if someday you might not just meet him by accident anyway. Yeah, so you can't date (unless he turns out to be bi), but you could have a really passionate friendship, and wouldn't that be cool?

posted August 17, 2006 11:16 AM              

Like you I have never been the "typical" screaming fangirl, even though I must admit, there have been a few, not too many, celebrity crushes in my life.
But this here is totally different.
Speaking in astrological terms: His Vertex is conjunct my Pluto and MC. Actually his Vertex is exactly conjunct his owns Mars, which of course means, that his Vertex sets this configuration of Mars (his) conjunct Pluto (mine) square Venus (his and mine) off. It must be meaningful.

You wrote: "but I'm not sure I could walk away, even for my own good, with all of those aspects pulling me towards the person. Even if I knew better, a lot of me would WANT to find out what would happen!"
That describes exactly how I feel.
And I surely won`t walk away. A part of me even hopes that I will run into him, just there`s a small part, which is still doubting. What if he doesn`t recognize that there`s a connection?
Even though I think there might be a chance he will.
It`s funny. He`s the only man I know of, who is as much into astrology and spiritual stuff as I am.
Actually I read in an interview, that he started doing astrology around the same time I did.
And I remember one concert. It was a musical concert in a small club. He was doing a lot of talking between the songs. And at one time he came off stage and walked a bit through the audience (I was sitting way back, so I couldn`t be seen). However, he didn`t really come up to me, but he was standing maybe 5 metres away, and he was telling the audience of the benefits of meditation and that we all should give it a try and meditate. And then he said something like noone should ever run away from her or his spiritual side and stay open to any possibilities. And while he said that, he actually looked at me. I mean, it can be only my imagination, but the air felt so dense all of a sudden.
And last june, when my friends and me went to the open air concert, I told her that he might not be there.
She asked me why I was thinking that, and I said that he`s maybe sick with his stomach. She looked at me, as if I had gone nuts. (How could I have known that?). Well, he was there, but one of the first things he told the audience was, that he had almost cancelled the show, because he had been sick with a stomach virus for a week.
That was another WHOA-moment for me.

However, despite all those little signs, there is still a nagging, doubting voice inside me saying: That cannot`be.
But I think I`ll give it a try; we will see if something happens and if it does, what it will be.
Just one more thing: I am not in love with him. I feel strongly connected to him and fascinated by him, but I am not in love.

DD

posted January 27, 2008 01:13 PM              

Only for very selfish, sentimental reasons.

*big sigh* Maybe it does interest you, Diandra; this is my first post I wrote on him, and it is one of the first posts I actually wrote on LIndaland.
I can`t believe it`s been over a year now and I`m still as confused and fascinated and unreasonable as ever. lol

posted January 28, 2008 06:44 AM              

don`t worry, I am certainly no stalker.

I just keep in the background, adore his work and would never even think of approaching him.
I know that he has his life and that I have mine, and that those life will not touch.
If we were meant to be something for each other (whatever this "something" might be), then our paths would have crossed, not just almost, but really.

But I can`t deny that he has a great emotional impact on me. It`s all about MY emotions, and what he triggers inside of me.

That is all (but to sometimes wish for something more is only human, isn`t it? ).

posted January 28, 2008 07:47 AM            

...You've got to have a dream, for if you don't have a dream, how you ever going to have a dream come true?.......etc.

posted January 28, 2008 04:07 PM              

well, yes, A has been doing his cd in my village, but we didn`t coincidentally meet. Well, at least not if it doesn`T count that he almost ran me over with his car. Didn`t an astrologer say that soulmate often kill each other? But does it have to be a car accident? lol Just kidding.

But something else happened. Before A I had a crush on P, a very huge crush. I was 15 and thought P would be my destiny, my soulmate, my well you get the picture. 15 year old girls and their romantic dreams.
And at that time I didn`t even know where he was, what he was doing. But I was convinced he would be there someday again, or that I would hear of him in some way.

Well, two years later A appeared and just a short while after that A and P got together (funny enough, but the fact that they were both gay, never occured to me in my daydreams lol).

posted January 28, 2008 04:08 PM              

And then last year in october I went to see A on a concert, and some nights before I had some dreams of P. I didn`t even know where they came from all at once. And in the last of those dreams he told me that I should go to the concert (I was hesitant). I guess it was my own subconsciousness giving me allowance to do what I really wanted to do (go to that concert), even though it seemed kinda unreasonable and unpracticable at that time.

HOwever, I was sitting there in my seat a bit early. And while I was waiting for the beginning I started reading a book (Paul Blashke, relationship analysis lol), but then I felt I couldn`t focus anymore. I felt like my skin was prickling with electricity. Now I know this feeling. I have often felt that way as a teenager, when people had looked at me. But this was long ago.
However, when I lifted my head up, I saw this man looking and smiling at me. And it is ridicilous, but I didn`t even recognize him at once. All I recognized was that he looked so familiar, and that my insides were bubbling with joy to see him there and that he was one of the most attractive guys I had ever seen.
It took me some minutes to realize, that it really was P, sitting two rows in front of me at the other side of the aisle. My first crush ever, just appearing like out of the nowwhere. I was stunned, especially when I realized that he actually turned back to look at me once or twice during the concert.

WEll, it turned out he was the mysterious secret special guest and I will never forget the song he sang: "Lucky day". lollol
Yes, that was MY lucky day.

But of course I was very well aware that to him I was just some weird person (reading while waiting for a concert to begin) and that, if he indeed had noticed me, he would forget me the second he turned his head from me again.

HOwever, I hadn`t planned to see him coincidentally on that evening in october, but I had planned to see him in a musical in december.
And when I was there, and after the show when they were all doing their bows, he actually smiled and winked at me (I was sitting in front row, and they had already switched on the normal lights) and it felt like he actually had recognized me.

Hmm, I wonder if he will remember me on the concert in february.

However, this was a little miracle for me, my little - dream - come - true.

And it`s more than I could ever have expected to happen.

Pidaua,

I am living near to Duesseldorf, which is rather close to the Netherlands actually.

posted January 29, 2008 08:42 AM              

you did well on bumping this hihih i loked it very much

posted January 29, 2008 12:04 PM              

yes, it seems we are at two ends of Germany.
Well, I was in Berlin in december / january, so I was a little bit closer to the east then.

Diandra,

glad you liked it. I hoped your romantic soul would like it.

Regarding the places:
There is one more coincidence to come.
Cause that concert I`m gonna go to in february, will take place at the exact same location as A`s concert in october did.
Somehow this place feels very special to me.

posted January 29, 2008 01:13 PM            

I only ask because your English is very Americanized and in my case, I'm an American living in Germany. So I didn't know if work brought you out here or if the Military did.

posted January 29, 2008 01:18 PM              

my English is americanized?

Oh my, I should stop watching all those American movies. lol

No, I am German, I have always lived here, and probably will never get out of the country.

HOw have you come here? Military-reasons?

posted January 30, 2008 08:33 PM            

It isn't karmic irony.

You can make your dreams come true with a Mars/Neptune conjunction.. as long as you take action instead of daydreaming.. and as long as the dream is realistic.. - Considering he is gay this particular dream is unrealistic.

You have to own your Neptune side. Sometimes girls project Mars out - as it is a masculine planet. Since yours is conjunct Neptune, they work together.. Thus you are trying to draw into your life, men who can be represented by that Mars/Neptune conjunction ie the charismatic artist type.

BE your own Mars! If you have artistic ability yourself, don't let it go to waste whilst admiring someone else and believing you are not good enough and couldn't be as - amazing/perfect .. on stage, in music, in drama or any other art.. This is most likely a self-created delusion.

Chances are - you are artistic/charismatic and charming yourself (but you are not acknowledging it and you are not acting on it. It's never too late to act out your Mars)

Neptune can mean a lot of things. One of them is an inferiority complex.. You are NOT inferior to those guys. They're just a couple of normal human men making some great music.. They have their lives/families/friends and problems, like the next person..

Neptune can lead you into an over idealization of fame..

I mean ART can do a lot of amazing things.

In a movie, for instance - one can become a superhero, jump off tall buildings without dying, wrestle dragons etc.. But this is the *image* - not the reality of the person, not the actor who lives his daily life behind the scenes.

That's exactly the same with singing. This singer is NOT his image.. His "image", on stage is art itself.

Which means you are in love with ART - not the man you are looking at (Mars/Neptune is known for this kind of self-deception) - which means YOU should be an artist.
So go get yourself a paint brush or a microphone or a guitar and do something interesting with it lol

posted January 30, 2008 09:42 PM            

Law of Attraction: whatever your mind is occupied with will naturally attract to you. your paranoid about this singer so its going to manifest in your life.

posted January 30, 2008 10:57 PM            

I think we all know I am in no way little.

I said she acted. not that she was.

you of all people I didnt expect to be calling me little boy. your naive, blindness to the truth is somewhat remnant of the essesence of a litte girl

posted January 30, 2008 11:33 PM            

quote:

---

your naive, blindness to the truth

---

hmm quoting Sun sign astrology interpretations about a stranger, leaves one with not much psychological insight.

"What is right but what we prove to be right? and what is truth but what we believe to be truth?"
Gorgias

So tell me SS, because I am actually curious now.. What is this "Truth" you speak of?