posted November 16, 2006 05:33 PM            

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Is it really more selfish to demand the freedom to love a multitude of people, than it is to demand the privilege to be loved exclusively? And is it really more selfish to demand the freedom to receive love from a multitude of people, than to demand of your partner that he/she receive love from only you?

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Well if you agree to be exclusive with someone, then yes. People who can't be with one person just shouldn't enter those type of agreements.

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The outer planets are, in fact, characterized by complexity and their stubborn domination of human wills. They are compulsive by nature. They can be negotiated with, but not controlled.

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This didn't sit well with me because it seems to me that you're implying that anyone with a mars/uranus hard aspect is controlled by it and will have this tendency. I don't have any desire to be with many people and I'm one. Could you clarify this for me please?

posted November 16, 2006 08:09 PM            

I didnt mean to suggest that an outer planet aspect cannot be mitigated by other aspects in the chart. Always, the chart must be taken as a whole. Many things are relevent; the closeness of the aspect (anything over 5 degrees is negligible), the sign and house placement, the houses ruled by those planets, and, perhaps most importantly, the condition of Saturn in the chart, among others. In my 1st post, I tried to show how the position of my Moon in the 1st house, ruling Cancer on the Descendant, does a lot to mitigate the Venus/Uranus aspect for me.

I agree, in an ideal world, the person with this aspect would know whether or not they are "the marrying type", or whether or not the person they currently have eyes for is in fact someone they will be able to settle down with. If they really were compulsively attracted to a variety of people, they would not be imbued simultaneously with a desire to have a stable one-on-one relationship at all. In a perfect world. But, the reality is that we have conflicting desires, and we dont foreknow what we are capable of, or what the fate of a given relationship will be. Hindsight is 20/20.

I desperately crave a deep, committed, one-on-one relationship. Uranus is strong in my chart, but I do not always identify with it, and its needs are not always my own - or, rather, its needs are my own, but, I have conflicting needs described by other planets as well. Uranus is an archetype, but I am not. I want intimacy AND independence. It's my heart-shaped cross to bear. Uranus gets in my way far more often than it leads my way. It is a part of me, but it is not me.

So, should I give up on the idea of ever being in a lasting, committed relationship, just because I know that my chances of eventually feeling trapped are greater than most (something I didnt even know about myself until I had studied astrology and been in and out of a few well-intentioned relationships, and broken a few hearts)?

I do my best to be honest about it. I try to make my disposition clear to any prospective partners, sometimes so early on that they have not even had a chance to glimpse the good qualities I have to offer, and I squash my chances at the outset. It is a delicate balance, and I am terrified of hurting the ones I love. But all my warnings serve to prevent intimacy. There is no caution in intimacy. They dont mix. But, how would anyone know if they want to take that chance with me, before they see what I have to offer? And, how, once they've seen them, can they hope to resist my charms?

The thing is, these qualities that make me something of a live wire are the same qualities that make me a veritable cornucopia of personality, magnetism, brilliance, inventiveness, inspiration, romance, spontaneity, and charm (or so I'm frequently told); i.e. the same things that make me uncommonly lovable in many people's eyes.

So, do you want to be with a reliable partner, who you know will always be there, and who frequently bores you to death? Or, do you want someone who keeps you on your toes, sweeps you off your feet, spins you around, and challenges you to reach new levels of vulnerability and autonomy? Most people dont know what they want (and would be disappointed with whatever they choose). And, in the end, is it really an intellectual decision? If you are the type to follow your heart, what warnings will you heed? And if you are the type to play it safe, will you even consent to listen to what your heart has to say? Again, I realize, we are not types, but that is precisely the point. We are complicated. We dont come with an owner's manual (even a natal chart has its limits). By the time we know how to live our lives, we are reflecting on them from our deathbeds. Life is wasted on the living.

Life has a way of throwing a bouquet in the spokes, and opposites have a way of attracting. How often do we find that the sensible person is drawn to the maverick visionary, and vice-versa? How often do we see them having a profoundly beneficial, balancing effect upon one another? Perhaps more often than we see them end in disaster.

What can protect us against this risk?
What refuge is not by-and-by a prison?
What safe harbor is not an island?
What well-guarded heart is not an icy rock?

And, conversely,
what love worth having is not an adventure
and a trip into the groundlessness of our being?
Can you fly without losing your footing?

Can you truly love without being transformed?
And, if you are transformed,
wouldnt you want to be with someone who
is capable of loving different people
(i.e. the person you were,
AND the person you've become)?

We imagine that the reckless lover is not suited for a deep personal connection. But, in reality, can you even have true intimacy without recklessness? Can you merge without losing yourself?

Imagine,
those arms that hold you safely for decades... can you sense the slow rejection in them; when they hold you close, but not too close? Not so close that you might become a part of each other and, so, risk going "beyond" each other.

Now, imagine those arms that came from the heart, took you fully into it, and left you only because that heart could go nowhere without taking you with it; that heart in whose memory you are embraced more fully, more fondly, and more vividly, than you might ever be embraced by the heart which beats beside you yearly, and still requires your physical presence, for it touches only the surface of you.

"Advice is not for lovers! -
This is not the kind of mountain stream
you can build a dam across."
- Rumi

Of course, I could be wrong.

posted November 16, 2006 08:12 PM            

Free will does not exist.
http://determinism.com/quotes.shtml

posted November 16, 2006 10:13 PM            

quote:

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So, do you want to be with a reliable partner, who you know will always be there, and who frequently bores you to death? Or, do you want someone who keeps you on your toes, sweeps you off your feet, spins you around, and challenges you to reach new levels of vulnerability and autonomy?

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posted November 17, 2006 01:28 AM            

(edit to add) and no you can't change them, if they have to go behind your back you'll end up losing them anyway. Love to them is to be able to share this with their partner, but if you do it just to connect with them and you are not like this you'll end up feeling disgusted with yourself.

This is a "swinger" or "wife swapper" aspect. They're into multiple sex partners and group sex. If you can't handle it, don't go there or you will end up feeling cheated on or betrayed.

Interesting to note that it has nothing to do with love, its a sexual preference and if you can deal with the openness of it then you could be happy.

Also an alternative lifestyle aspect.

posted November 17, 2006 01:38 AM              

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They're into multiple sex partners and group sex.

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We are?? Well, now that ya mention it...

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If you're with someone with this, you should have an aspect with Venus/Uranus yourself, otherwise you'll end up feeling used and abused.

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quote:

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Free will does not exist.

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posted November 17, 2006 01:41 AM            

In my opinion, parallels are very similar to conjunctions (contraparalles to oppositions) but these aspects are kind of implicit, less noticeable than conjunctions and oppositions.

Hexxie, the program I use is Zet 8 light, you can download it for free here: www.zaytsev.com/downloads.html

posted November 17, 2006 07:27 AM            

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Ohhh btw, I have a cancer asc and my sun is in cap conjunct my descendant

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Awesome! Were complete opposites

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Personally, i have a phobia of being with the wrong person. and who is a wrong person - someone boring, unimaginative, narrow-minded, callous, insensitive, immature....the list is very long

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Thats been my fear in the past which is why I, personally, just don't get into relationships as easily as my peers do. I've just never been the type to "date" either. I just could never see my self going out with someone I wasn' that into,unless we were just "hangin' out" as friends. Otherwise its kind of awkward. (I have mars square uranus)

posted November 17, 2006 08:16 AM            

"Couldn't you be exciting and reliable at the same time? Or am I too Old World???"

No, you are not too old world.
I think what you seek is possible,
though rare.
I used a lot of poetic license in my post -
not all the things I wrote reflect
who I really am, or my true thoughts and feelings.
I got a little carried away playing uranus' advocate.
My post seems muddled and full of generalizations to me now.

InLoveWithLife -

I've been looking into this "power of positive thinking" stuff...
According to the "law of attraction",
we get what we put our attention on.
I would advise you to think about the
kind of man you DO want in your life,
and do your best not to think about
the kind of man you do not want.

lalalinda -

I have to disagree with you.
I have this Venus/Uranus aspect in a big way.
It does have to do with love.
For me, romantic feelings are sporatic,
sudden, fleeting, and aroused both easily
and difficultly, by partners and strangers.
(Although this may have something to do with my Aqua Moon
in hard aspect to my Neptune singleton in the 11th.)

A good astrologer will tell you that
aspects manifest differently according to
the level of development attained by the soul.
Unevolved souls often manifest the sexual side of the aspects.
Evolved souls manifest the loving and mystical
potentials inherent in the outer-planet aspects.

teaologist -

I know how you feel.
Trying to pin down what is meant
by the words "free will" would
make anybody's eyes all spirally like a cartoon.

Peri -

Thank you again for doing that.
I read about those aspects,
and they make perfect sense.
I have always felt Neptune
was much stronger in my chart than
basic astrology would suggest.
I just figured the South Node
must be much more significant than
most astrologers believe
(mine is in Pisces).
And that close semi-squares are
at least as powerful as wider squares
(Neptune semi-square 1st house moon,
by less than a degree).
Thanks.
Dont know much about BML,
but thats my next assignment!

posted November 17, 2006 12:10 PM              

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Hi Rebekka, I read in your other post about your romantic situation. Someone told me on another post that hard aspects b/w Venus and Uranus can give us the tendency to be attracted to unavailable ppl. But yeah, of course, free will in the end, heheh.

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posted November 17, 2006 02:57 PM            

You are 100% correct on that Lalalinda. My ex-fiance had this aspect. He had Venus in Cancer (conjuncting his Saturn) squaring his Uranus in Libra. It was a part of his T-square with his Jupiter in Aries.

It seemed that sex and giving into weird sexual desires was a compulsion. He tried to say it had something to do with being molested as a child- but one can never know in his case if he was telling the truth. He also lied about having a deceased daughter. Lying came nature as his Mercury (Gemini) opposed his Neptune (Saq) and squared his Virgo moon.

***Edited to add*** When I had to use his computer ran across his user history. He had reams of porn- I am not talking just "porn" but with animals, violence and tons of bisexual / gay porn. He at least 10 dating sites bookmarked - and not one of them was "match.com" he was into the sites where you could "hook up" with a person without knowing their names... basically there would be a listing with an apartment location and times that the person would be there to welcome sex. Yes, I can say I snooped, but my safety was involved- especially when I started noticing he was "disappearing" while I was at work. His behaviour could have caused my death because his compulsion was such that I doubt safe-sex was on his radar- although we practiced it.. until I found the info- then I just couldn't even touch him again.

posted November 17, 2006 06:41 PM            

I'm not sure I understand this

quote:

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A good astrologer will tell you that
aspects manifest differently according to
the level of development attained by the soul.
Unevolved souls often manifest the sexual side of the aspects.
Evolved souls manifest the loving and mystical
potentials inherent in the outer-planet aspects.

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So what would a bad astrologer say??
hmmm?

posted November 19, 2006 06:55 PM            

Her aspect manifested as interracial relationships. She's white,and she's never been with a white guy. She's mainly into black guys,and of course she had a child by a black guy which is me. And her 5th house ruler is Venus,and so her 5th house ruler conjuncts Uranus. Her 9th house ruler is Uranus.

Therefore her 9th house ruler conjuncts her 5th house ruler.

I also want to say that challenging Mercury-Neptune,Moon-Neptune aspects can indicate disorganization,absentmindedness,misunderstandings,and communication issues which are common in learning disabilities and AD/HD and not just deception. Of course,a lot of learning disabled and AD/HD can cover up their problems by lying. Compensation can be a form of deception..using their strengths to cover their weaknesses. Also..hard neptune aspects can also indicate being gullible and naive. People with autistic spectrum disorders have problems understanding emotional/social cues,and so they don't know if a person is lying or not.

posted November 19, 2006 07:51 PM            

Interracial relationships would (I think) fall under alternative lifestyles. I use this term loosly because I think its tacky to say gay relationships (another alternative lifestyle).
The point here is relationships that are not what we would think of as traditional are Venus/Uranus ruled.

Good news is that those boundries have been broken down so much so that we are all a little bit of a lot of different nationalities and races. We need one word like multiracial that would apply to us all.(at least here in the US where it's common)