Your experiences with Saturn in synastry

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Author	Topic: Your experiences with Saturn in synastry
Gemini Nymph unregistered	posted December 18, 2006 04:02 PM I think there's been a thread like this, but I can't find it. What Saturn cross aspects have you personally dealt with in your relationships? Good ones, bad ones, confusing ones, whatever. If you had hard aspects, did you have any other aspects that helped smooth things over? IP: Logged
Mama Mia Knowflake Posts: 117 From: Registered: Feb 2010	posted December 18, 2006 04:07 PM Yes,yes and yes... IP: Logged
Gemini Nymph unregistered	posted December 18, 2006 04:33 PM OK, can you elaborate? Please? IP: Logged
libraschoice7 Knowflake Posts: 174 From: the city so nice they named it twice! Registered: Apr 2009	posted December 18, 2006 04:58 PM Are you asking if other good aspects cancel out the bad Saturn in synastry? I don't think they do, there's always going to be some bad with the good, and no matter how many great aspects there may be, those heavy Saturn aspects will always pop up eventually. Saturn in my experience feels like a extra (invisible)parent waiting for me to do something wrong, so the hypothetical finger can shake at me in shame. And don't get me started on it within synastry, the description of it being the 'wet blanket' is so true. ------------------ Sun in Libra Moon in Cancer Jupiter in Cancer Venus in Virgo Mars in Cancer Ascendant in Cancer I "FEEL" therefor I am IP: Logged
Anita41 unregistered	posted December 18, 2006 05:47 PM From my experiences with saturn in relationships,it has often made a very distant attitude between us that was created after the "good times" with good aspects to the sun mon and venus. Like a hot then cold kind of relating. I think perhaps it could be because we tended to go into conversations and emotions that was serious and depressing as well lol and then we dissapeared into somewhere without knowing why or when. Then coming back with blank papers again. If that makes sense IP: Logged
pseudofemme unregistered	posted December 18, 2006 06:07 PM In my experience, the role of Saturn really depends on the rest of the synastry. The more Saturn aspects (especially ones with tight orbs) between two charts, the more those people will be compelled to stay together... even if the relationship is harming one or both of the partners. So with synastry that is otherwise mostly compatible, that Saturn glue can be a good thing--whereas with incompatible people, it can be extremely dangerous. I believe some Saturn aspects (even hard ones) are quite necessary for a long-lasting relationship. And I do believe that even difficult ones can be overcome--and in fact, may make a relationship stronger, provided both people are able to conquer the challenges they face. I'll take my parents' synastry as an example. My mom's Saturn has the following aspects: squares my father's Sun trines his Moon squares his Mercury trines his Venus is conjunct his Mars squares his Uranus is conjunct his Neptune sextiles his Pluto and sextiles his Chiron. Likewise, my father's Saturn makes the following aspects: is conjunct my mother's Venus trines her Jupiter sextiles her Uranus trines her Chiron along with some minor aspects. Whew! That's some heavy Saturn stuff. They have been together almost 30 years, with no signs of ever divorcing--they're quite inseperable. They do have their share of arguments (Saturn square Mercury), but underneath it all is a great sense of love between them. Even in fighting, they never lose that underlying love, and the arguments often leave them loving each other even more than before. Go figure. But there you go: at least one example of heavy Saturn aspects in a successful relationship. Also, I think there are other things in a chart that can indicate that heavy/glued-down feeling that Saturn is often blamed for. I never felt the Saturn influence with one ex-boyfriend, despite having the following Synastry: Saturn trine sun Saturn trine Moon (a double whammy; both our Saturns trine each other's moon) Saturn square Jupiter Saturn conjunct Uranus Saturn trine N. Node Saturn opposite Chiron Saturn trine Ascendant Saturn trine moon It was very easy to break up with him, and Saturn never showed its wet blanket effect for us. On the other hand, I felt VERY tied down to the following ex-boyfriend, where the only Saturn aspects were as follows: my Saturn trine his Moon my Saturn sextile his Ascendant his Saturn trine my Mars his Saturn conjunct my Ascendant I felt extremely "chained" to him, and I think it's because we also had a great deal of South Node conjunctions. In my experience, it also depends a lot on what Saturn is aspecting. Saturn squaring the Nodes, or even conjunct one, often makes life miserable for the Node person. Saturn squaring Jupiter would be easier to deal with. I think Saturn is important in synastry, but since it does move rather slowly, aspects with the personal planets and Ascendant seem more relevant. An aspect your chart makes to another's Saturn will be found with many people in the same age group. Lastly, I feel Saturn in composite charts is more important than in synastry, especially as the relationship progresses. IP: Logged
Juno unregistered	posted December 18, 2006 07:30 PM Saturn in composites if it aspects badly from what I have seen is a real dampner, and either seems to prevent a relaionship from fully developing, signifies a barier why the relationship can't or won't develop or causes it to end , I think it depends on the planet it aspects to , to which effect it has. In synastry I think it can be worked through a bit more but generally I'd want trines or sextiles instead of other aspects, those tend to make the people involved more likely to view rtheir connection as something long term, the squares ect can make the relaionship seem like a trap. IP: Logged
jenfullmoon Knowflake Posts: 35 From: California Registered: Jun 2009	posted December 18, 2006 07:42 PM I tend to be attracted to people who are within a year older of me, or 8 years older than me. Why? Because those around my age (other Saturns in Leo in the lower digits) set off my natal squares to Saturn. And someone 8 years older than me (one of my exes, and my best friend) has their Saturn conjunct my Sun. My dad's another Saturn in Leo and his is right on my midheaven. As Katherine de Jersey pointed out, that downright squashes you and you can't get away from it. The Saturn conjunct ex took me years to get over, I was whammoed by him. (His Sun was on my Juno, that probably had something to do with it as well.) He's the one that sought me out...but it didn't bind us together. Nothing binds a dang Aquarian :P I suspect if next lives exist and we meet up again, things will continue to be ugly given how he treated me at the end. The best friend, on the other hand, does not have these problems. Likewise, the guy around my age that set off my Saturn squares didn't feel too bound to me either. Oddly enough, the ex I got engaged to- we had no Saturn whatsoever. Guess it wasn't meant to last, even if it was my longest relationship :P IP: Logged
Gemini Nymph unregistered	posted December 18, 2006 08:16 PM Librachoice - I'm looking for people's experiences and how they think Saturn affected their relationship. The idea of an invisible parent is an interesting one - I can see how Saturn could feel like that in certain circumstances. Anita - I too have experienced what you are describing. I have often felt "blocked" by some Saturnine energy in relationships once that initial thrill faded. I seem to be attracted to men who have cross aspects with me that cause this kind of hot-then-cold progression. So yes, that makes sense. Pseudofemme - thank you for that very interesting example of your parents. I agree that Saturn, even in hard apsect, can be positive. I just think that BOTH people in the relationship have to be on the same page when it comes to accepting that Saturnine influence. I agree too that what aspects Saturn is significant, but I don't have any definite thoughts beyond that. I also wonder about orbs. I'm beginning to think that the tighter the orb, the easier the aspect is to deal and so it can be more positive, even in "hard" aspects. I was looking at the synastry of the guy I'm currently romantically interested, first with his ex, and then comparing that to his synastry with me. In both couplings, there's hard Saturn aspects. The big differences is between he and me, the hard aspects are very tight, and it's his Saturn making the hard aspects. With his ex, they had her Saturn wide conjunct his moon, and wide oppsing his Mars. What he says about how that relationship develops reads like a cookie cutter deescription of those two aspect: at first, he felt this was a serious realtionship that he could commit to. He felt a lot of bonding and security and potential for hte relationship to last. But after 3 years, he oppsed by her, like she disapproved of his more impulsive behavior, if when she didn't say anything. Little problems became avenues for her to harsh criticize him, and he felt quite powerless at the end. With me, his Saturn opposes my moon at nearly 1 degree, and quincunxes my Mars exact. As is often said of moon-Saturn opposition, he is much older than I (20 years), so we're approaching a romantically relationship very cautiously. But there's an awareness on his part about how he can be "Saturnine" to me and how it affects me. Also, unlike int he past, where Saturnine aspect kind stayed in the backgorund, and then moved up to forefront as the relationship went on. Instead with him, they've been out in teh open from the beginning, and we've both been pretty aware of them. I think his past experience with ex helps, but so far, there's a kind "ease" when dealing with his temptation to perhaps "father" me a bit more than I'd like. I can often just look at him like "Watch it, pal" and he gets it without any residue friction. He often finds it easy to apologize and I can easily let the incident go. Challenging, yes, but it seems beneficial in that it's nuturing reciprocity, sensitivity and respect between us. IP: Logged
Gemini Nymph unregistered	posted December 18, 2006 08:36 PM Jenfullmoon made me think of my ex-finacee (shudder)so I pulled up his info and hey, his Saturn in Tau squared my Mars by 1 degree, which meant his Saturn also wide squared my NN (over 3 degrees). Did he make my life miserible? Let me count the ways....LOL. How had was it? Bad enough I didn't date for several years afterwards. His Saturn fell in my 9th, and MUCH of our difficulties revolved around intellectual and religious issues, and in a very hurtful and confusing ways. I felt very intellectually and spiritually oppressed by him (which for a Gem-Pis, that was a NIGHTMARE - seeing most guys my age have their Saturn in my 9th, this seems to be a big reason why i prefer older men, whose Saturn fall elsewhere!). My current interest's Saturn falls in my 12th, and it's been digging up for deep, hidden issues from my past, which has been very challenging, but it has a more of an "awakening" feel to it than an oppressive feel. IP: Logged
Piscesmoongirl unregistered	posted December 18, 2006 08:47 PM I disagree on overcoming difficult saturn aspects. My recent ex-husband I have ..his saturn 1 degree conjunct my venus, and my saturn trine his venus, it was miserable having his saturn on my venus. My venus in the 6th house, I never had problems keeping work until him. I always felt beautiful until him. Anything I did to feel beautiful he squashed. I hated that supressing feeling and it only got worse with time. The beginning was fine, I think with time Saturn only suffocates venus with it's coldness I can't imagine overcoming or wanting to with that in synastry. I don't care what people say about glue I never want to get involved again with someone that has saturn aspecting my venus! IP: Logged
Gemini Nymph unregistered	posted December 19, 2006 12:49 AM Piscesmoongirl, I'm very sorry about your terrible experience with your ex. I'm a Pisces moon with a very sensitive Venus placement (conjunct Saturn, opposed Jupiter and Neptune), and I can relate to knowing men who undermine a woman's confidence and self-image. My father and I have difficult Saturn cross aspects - he never once told me I was a pretty girl or was very affectionate, and I grew up convinced I was ugly and that no man could be attrtacted to me. I wonder though what else is going on in your and your ex's charts. Does he have any hard aspects to his Saturn that would make it afflicted and manifest more harshly? My father's Saturn is very afflicted, and I think this is why his Saturn prove to be such an problem in my relationship with him. Or is your Venus aspected harshly in your chart, making it more sensitive and vulnerable, like mine? IP: Logged
teaologist unregistered	posted December 19, 2006 01:32 AM . IP: Logged
Sweet Stars unregistered	posted December 19, 2006 01:36 AM I rather have at least one or two. I hate Saturn sometimes. ------------------ Gemini/Cancer cusp, Cancer Ascendant, Mercury Gemini, Taurus Moon *29, Venus Taurus, Mars Libra IP: Logged
BlueEyes24 unregistered	posted December 19, 2006 12:00 PM I personally think Saturn is very important in synastry and definitely can be glue in relationship....BUT, I definitely wouldn't want tons of Saturn squares/oppositions with someone in our synastry. My ex boyfriend and I had NO saturn aspects in our synastry OR our composite chart....and it always felt like there was something missing...which is why it didn't last that long...there wasn't any stability in the relationship. My boyfriend's Saturn sextiles my Sun, Mercury, & Mars, trines my Jupiter, and conjuncts my moon. Even though Saturn conjunct moon is supposed to be "wet blanket" aspect, my moon is also conjunct his Ascendant, so I've never felt restricted when it comes to sharing my feelings with him...I feel very comfortable and open around him. IP: Logged
lovegoblin Knowflake Posts: 27 From: neverland Registered: Apr 2009	posted December 19, 2006 02:47 PM Some say saturn is restrictive in synastry and other say it holds relationships together. Maybe it really depends on individually how the natal chart is related to the tenth house as to how that person would work with lots of saturn contacts. Just a thought. IP: Logged
Kamilla unregistered	posted December 19, 2006 05:05 PM Looks like the word "ex" is rather common in Saturn thread...lol. As for my ex-husband, his Saturn conjuncts my Mars. While this aspect seemed to lay dormaint when the things were going OK, it was definitely activated during our divorce. Never in my life I have experienced such fierce cold hatred toward me.... from anyone. I remember, I actually felt like mourning my husband because this mean b**stard still living in my house surely wasn't him. My responce to it was downright violent and vicious to my own amazement as well. So Saturn-Mars conjunction sounds like a big red flag to me from now on. IP: Logged
Stargazer Knowflake Posts: 46 From: just left of center Registered: May 2009	posted December 19, 2006 05:53 PM I have a relationship with a guy who I can't seem to let go of and he the same with me... It seems that we cross paths every couple of years and although we had a lot of great synastry aspects including the venus conj. pluto which i believe is the "can't get beyond it" part.. One of the reasons we can't make it work over time is that my Moon squares his Saturn 0.19' orb. I would say that most of the time I felt like what i wanted or felt was of little regard to him. I mostly found myself making all the efforts only to have them thwarted in some way I often felt very alone in the relationship and that it was always about his issues.... and he had an excuse for everything... Very little satisfaction over time... Bad timing all the way around I think he felt I was too demanding... and I was flabergasted at this because I felt i couldn't even count on him for the basics.... Hope that made sense? IP: Logged
Belage Knowflake Posts: 435 From: California Registered: Apr 2009	posted December 19, 2006 06:49 PM I agree with Piscesmoongirl. Vent: I once had an employee who had her Saturn conjunct my Venus, and she had unbelievable control OVER me and my life. She didn't do her work, she called sick all the time especially during the holidays and I had to fill in for her, she was taking credit for my work behind my back. I tried to fire her, I couldn't, my boss wouldn't let me. It was unbelievable. I ended up resigning. Also, imo, Saturn squares or oppositions don't hold relationships together. Another vent: My husband has Saturn in Sagg square my mars in Virgo and this has created lots of tension between us. We're together in spite of it and also because as an astrologer, I can step back and see the dynamics, and my Virgo Mars just sit back and breathes and releases. DH is lucky I have Virgo Mars, which is a pretty modest mars; If I had Mars in a fiery sign like Aries or Leo, or in Scorpio, I would not be able to tolerate a spouse whose Saturn squares my Mars. Also, his Saturn is right at the midpoint between my ascendant and my mars. So, maybe it serves a purpose. LOL!!! That being said, I do agree that a few Saturn sextiles and trines serve to hold a relationship together and are in fact necessary for longevity and stability in relationships. My Saturn sextiles DH's mercury and also makes a wide trine (6 degree angle) to his moon. He credits our relationship for bringing him down to earth and for calming down his fiery temperament. His Saturn makes a wide trine (7 degrees) to my Jupiter, I guess this is good, though I don't think Jupiter and Saturn like to hang out together. IP: Logged
carlfloydfan unregistered	posted December 19, 2006 08:29 PM I wonder too her sun square my saturn may be to big, with a 8�29 orb. my venus square her saturn is maybe a close enough orb to consider, with 4�46 but even the effects of that aren't felt. yet. plus mars trine saturn at 2�42 orb (almost two times tighter) seems to trump that venus/saturn aspect. and also jupiter sextile saturn at 3�29 orb seems to push the venus/saturn away more. I say positive closer orbs can over power a negative one. especially if positive outnumber negative, can almost make them not an issue. but this is just my experiences. edit: my saturn opposite her north node with 0�18 orb and conjuct her s. node. her saturn opposite my north node with 1�29 orb and conjuct my s. node. asc sextile her saturn with 5�28 orb trine des. with same orb how do you find midpoints again? IP: Logged
Piscesmoongirl unregistered	posted December 19, 2006 10:00 PM Hi actually my ex's saturn is nice..he has venus jupiter conjunct in leo trined by venus, he is very loving with others his daughters he lets them know they are beautiful didn't have this issue with his other ex wife but god did his saturn just squash any good feelings my venus had. My current b/f we have my saturn oppose his sun, my sun trine his saturn, and my mars square his saturn, um like mentioned before I'm not sure how this is gonna play out but definetly my mars in sag gets frustrated IP: Logged
Juno unregistered	posted December 20, 2006 04:38 AM The aspect and orb have to be considered, for one thing if someone has astaurn aspect themsleves ( I'm a Nep/sat square) if this is activated by someone elese chart the other person will see this side of the Saturn aspect person, whether they see it in a good way I would assume has a lot to do with the actual aspect and what planet/aspects of theirs was activatinfg the others saturn...does that make sense? IP: Logged
Piscesmoongirl unregistered	posted December 20, 2006 09:35 AM oops sorry his venus jupiter conjunction is trined by saturn durr IP: Logged

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