posted August 21, 2013 06:56 AM            

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Originally posted by Isolaede:
I�m still around, Acoustic. I�ve just been in �lurk� mode more of late. I changed jobs recently, took on a LOT more responsibility, and suddenly my internet time is very limited. Go figure! I miss everyone here though. : )

Dear Toolgirl � Have faith � your Cancer hasn�t completely let you go. She just needs time to heal. Break-ups are devastating for the typical Cancer. Even those we initiate. Remember Linda�s comparison of Cancers to real life crab in Sun Signs? Once we grab onto something, whether it be old ticket stubs or the love of a partner, it�s near impossible for us to let it go. We may know in our minds that things had to end but our hearts just aren�t wired to let go. I think that�s why so many Cancer�s go all silent after relationships, because the love we still feel, the instinct to continue to hold on is SO strong. We have to completely isolate ourselves to even begin the process of letting go.

I�ve behaved exactly like your partner after most of my breakups. And every time I did it, I stayed up every night thinking about my ex, fighting the urged to call, wishing they�d call me. I�ve KNOWN relationships were bad for me, but still agonized for months. Often times I would have hopped right back into a relationship if my ex they�d shown any sign they wanted to try again, although I knew it would be bad for me. I think that may have been one reason I didn�t pick up the phone and call, because I knew how weak I was and I was afraid of ending up back in a relationship that had outlived it�s freshness date. I think Cancers also tend to rebound back into relationships quicker than other signs. Because many of us recognize that the quickest way to save ourselves from our instinct to never let go of one relationship for as long as we live, is to land ourselves in a new relationship. It gives us a shield, an excuse to not run back to our old partners and beg them to take us back. It helps us heal.

There are two other possible reasons your Cancer may be avoiding you right now. And even if one of these other two reasons come into play, I�d theorize that her MAIN reason is probably just a desperate need to heal and let you go.

1. So, there is a possibility that your breakup was not as mutual as you may have thought, and your Cancer is trying to punish you by not calling you back. I hate mentioning it because it�s rare we get this petty but there can be a Cancer tendency to want to punish those that have wounded us. We can be a little like children with hurt feelings, we stomp our feed, squish up our nose and cry �I�ll show them! I�ll show them what it�s like to not have me in their lives! Then they�ll miss me and wish they�d never left!� It�s silly, it�s childish, but it this instinct, if it comes into play at all is generally very short lived. Because your Cancer just can�t stop loving you, she�d have a hard time doing anything to really hurt you for a prolonged period of time.
2. Lastly, there is a chance your Cancer isn�t calling you back for YOUR sake. Remember we�re an extremely empathic sign. She may have somehow intuited that you are having issues letting her go, and she may be distancing herself to ease in your healing process. I think we tend to assume other people need what we need, so if she thinks you need help letting her go, her first instinct would be to create distance. She may also want to spare you from being hurt by her current relationship.

The good news is, your Cancer will come around. She�ll never stop thinking about you, and wishing you happiness. And she WILL want to call you (often) once she�s done healing. As for how long that healing will take � I�d say probably a year at least. If you want to keep your friendship alive, then call and leave her a message once a month or so. Don�t guilt her, just tell her sincerely that you were thinking about her, and hope she is doing well. She probably won�t call you back for a while, but every time you call her she�ll remember that you haven�t forgotten her and be touched by the fact that you still care. It will warm her little heart up, and sooner or later, after her heart has healed, and she�s really let you go, you two will have a magnificent friendship.

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