posted May 22, 2007 11:56 AM            

quote:

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With all due respect I think you all are failing to make an important distinction-the guy you describe isn't a knuckle dragger beating up on women.

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And no one was speaking of the sort (atleast I wasn't), so where did you get that from??

Anyways on the subject of the alpha male: I don't care if they're well educated or ignorant as heck; they're all the same. Its just that the former hides it better under the front of being "confident" (at first).

posted May 22, 2007 12:17 PM              

I think my view of relationships is pretty much what Coral described. i want a sunny, optimistic, confident, funny, and of course spiritual person. i am not so sure about the scorpio kind of passion. depth, yes. loyalty, yes. but when i think of passion, i think os someone breathing down my neck 24/7...doesn't sound like fun to me

posted May 22, 2007 12:38 PM            

quote:

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I think my view of relationships is pretty much what Coral described. i want a sunny, optimistic, confident, funny, and of course spiritual person.

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posted May 22, 2007 12:56 PM              

To compare an "Alpha Male" to a real life person like Paris is missing the point as she is a visual stereo-type, and we have none for the "Alphas". How would you define them?

This is how I define them. The guy who has his sh.. together and exudes confidence. Assertive and sure of himself, always making sure his need are met. Whether he chooses to do that at the expense of others is his choice, and that is why you cannot stereo-type the "bad boys" as the "alpha male". "Bad Boys" only look good because there are so many "wimps" out there in comparison.

I think it goes against the modern view of many women that they could possibly be lead by more primitive desires.

There is nothing to say an "alpha" couldn't be spiritual, or happy or any of the things you desctibe.

Maybe the thought of being attracted to them (as you perceive them) is repugnant to the sense of strong femininity you hold?

Insecurity is used as a blanket term for all kinds of percieved ailments these days, or to push aside an opinion that differs from your own. I think it's unfair to say, "You are only being lead by your insecurities". Thats condescention and assumption of the worst kind in my opinion.

A cheap shot at best, and avoids the issue.

posted May 22, 2007 01:01 PM              

Have a good night guys.

posted May 22, 2007 01:18 PM              

In the primeval times, the most muscular and violent male was the Alpha. This is very much still in our genetic memories.

Forget girls, even guys are always in awe of the big dog in the weight room. A guy can be a double PhD in theoretical physics but he will still be in awe of WWE's Undertaker or Brock Lesnar or Rock should they meet in some conference. Imagine the subconscious effect on women. And should these physically dominant type also have an artistic side like a guitar skill, then the "IT" effect multiplies.

Due to evolution, the Suave and Smooth talking James Bond type seducers are turning into the alpha males.
But should there be 10 James Bond types, who wins? The one who is a guitar maestro or the one who has the 400 pound bench press? It could be either but it certainly wont be the Bond who quotes Shakespeare.

When the primal genetics are overcome by the mind, then who will be the alpha male ? If all the women suddenly had IQs over 250 and knew every spiritual practice there is to know and every philosophy there will be, which kind of male will become the alpha male for them? The answer could be the male who is the most strong willed, responsible and determined.
A Robert Redford type from the movie "Last Castle". But agin, should there be 10 of these type, then even for the most evolved women, the tie breaker will boil down to primal genetics.

posted May 22, 2007 01:27 PM            

quote:

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Because I've got nothin' but love and respect for you Dulce, I'll give you that. However, wouldn't you agree that it would also be a generalization to say that the ONLY type of women who are attracted to alpha men are the insecure and weak type? I think that they can attract many different types of women, and when they do, I see it as an instinctual urge.

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Now, I would only agree with you in one instance and that is when the guy in question is very careful with the way he presents himself at first impression-ie. he "dilutes" his arrogance with charm. Then maybe almost anyone could possibly be attracted to him (thank God I was bestowed with a Cancer sun/virgo moon so I can see through bullsh%tters like this).

posted May 22, 2007 01:56 PM              

NOW i understand what is meant by the alpha male. upto now i was really confused. now i SEEE

posted May 22, 2007 02:13 PM            

I disagree with what someone said a ways back though...that is that it is the "feminists' fault", and that as women grew stronger the men grow weaker. I think it's the opposite. Society stopped requiring strenght or character in a man and there was no social enforcement.I think the WWI and WWII contributed to that. A lot of norms and taboos were overturned and it wasn't all good. As a result the incompetent, violent types took over and that came to be what was associated with male dominance. And it really sucks here in the U.S. where we outnumber them 2 to 1. I've heard that ratio is the inverse in Australia. I think it magnifies the problem that there are so few to go around.

posted May 22, 2007 03:10 PM              

quote:

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ILWL, I define passion as reckless abandon. When you leave your inhibitions and hang ups at the door and you allow yourself to be completely raw and exposed for someone else.

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tht's a nice way to put it....hmmmm....that hasn't happened to me till now....came very close, but then the guy wasn't 'available'.

posted May 22, 2007 04:15 PM            

I honestly hope, at the end of the day we all get what we are looking for. What I don't understand is the emotional attachment some people have to this issue in the sense that, they would try to force views upon a person (I don't mean this thread in particular, but in general). Personally, I would feel strange to say to that man, in the first instance: "well you know, biologically we all want rough sex and therefore, you're probably burying some deep seated psychological need".. I would also feel highly strange, saying to the second man: "well you know we all have a deep seated biological need to have children and form a family, so are you sure you are not burying some deep seated psychological need for a mother figure?" Even if I held those opinions about the human race in general, which I do not.. but even if I did, I wouldn't force them upon a person who has just told me how they *felt*. Why would I do that.. unless I had an emotional issue with this?
That's what is a bit hard for me to understand..

Now, if you believe all tomatoes are light red.. and you want to believe all tomatoes are light red.. then by all means, believe that all tomatoes are light red! If someone tells you they picked up a dark red tomato the other day.. You can choose to believe them or not.. that's your choice.. You can choose to believe they have eyesight problems and are colour blind.. that's also your choice.. But why not leave them alone? If they want to believe it's dark red, then it probably is dark red FOR them.. Each to their own.

I feel as though there is some anger and emotional attachment to this issue coming from mainly male posters.. and I've felt this way before in real life with certain men, when the subject came up.. What I'd like to ask is, why does it emotionally *mean* so much to you personally that women (all women) like bad boys on an instinctual level? Why do you seem to want (or even crave) this to be true so badly?

posted May 22, 2007 04:57 PM            

I mean call me crazy but I thought a decent guy could actually have a backbone. When does a guy have to be a "badboy" or "alpha" in order for one "to feel like a woman" in the relationship? And why does a guy have to be any of those two in order to be "masculine"?

posted May 23, 2007 01:40 AM              

CrankyCap,
sounds as if you're having lots of awakenings in yourself these days.

Post-thoughts, have you considered that the Taurus may have still been trying bait & trap with you?
By appealing to your compassion and striving for understanding and also telling you how special you are? (the only one to challenge him). Not to arouse paranoia, but have you wondered if he's told other women the same thing?

I hope I don't offend by asking you that, I've read of your recent heartbreak and care for how vulnerable you might be for still healing, and was just curious if you had given that thought.
Even if it seems pointless, considering you are determined not to fall for him again, things like this can still be helpful to think about anyway, or strengthen our resolve.
Manipulators learn to skillfully sense out what they can exploit, adapting their technique from situation to situation. And Piscean/Neptunian are most often exploited for their ability to empathize and for hoping to understand and accept people as they are. Sadly it's often not treated gently, nor gratefully as the beautiful gift to the world that it is, as it should be.
A trail of horrors in my heart, being Neptunian myself,
I hate the thought of that happening to anyone.

What people might not realize about Neptunians is that, the very things that can crush them (their sensititivy and awareness) are the same things that also save them.
As an evolving sign, with each experience they become even more aware and alert to subtleties that pass by unnoticed to most. This alertness, seeking beyond the surface, of what's said or heard or seen...is protection. Like an animal in the wild who needs to develop their senses of smell, etc. for survival. You see the most strange evolutionary adaptations, the more vulnerable the prey. Nothing gets by them...the shifts of scents on the currents of air...breaking of twigs on the forest floor heard from miles away. Seems perhaps you're coming to understand that and tuning into this awareness more and more yourself.

I probably sound entirely closed off and paranoid, LOL.
If so, then I'm not getting what I mean across effectively....the whole point is, the alertness is because I'm not.
I wouldn't have to, if I weren't sensitive and trusting.

So...all this talk of genetics and biology and conditioning, perhaps you could understand why it entirely escapes me, especially when I'm told it pertains to me, in no uncertain terms, as if it's a fact. I'm not tuned into that wavelength at all.