posted May 23, 2007 02:05 AM              

quote:

---

The it becomes so easy to be manipulated into defining yourself by a controlling media, a zealous religion, fantasy figures in the limelight who in turn have been maniplulated themselves, and others influences that are augmented by such a personal void in many.

A man who can define himself (or woman) independently of all of that today, requires more strength of character to do so than ever before I believe.

I think I might have opened the point up too wide here though.

---

Well, if you opened it up too wide, I might have just hurled it into the next galaxy, lol.

That is exactly the strength I was talking about.

We're bombarded our entire lives by outside static, telling us what to value and what is appealing. It takes the greatest strength to find our own voice in all of that noise. Even more strength to live by it. Even more strength of determination to keep True to ourselves and not give in to the insecurities the world tries to ply us with. Or the constant attempt at brain-washing and conditionings. This is True strength. True Liberation. A Free Spirit.

This is what I think most of the anger (from both genders) comes from, Coral Frequency.
It's the anger of so often being labeled or forced into a mold. The frustration of the insanity of collective perspective.

I guess some could argue that the alpha male/bad boy is a Free Spirit, because he's doing as he wants. That's how it would appear.
But is he really Free? He's too busy (obsessed) with valuing and praising things conditioned of this world, beyond his own Spirit, to understand what true Freedom or Strength really is.
(imho)

posted May 23, 2007 06:53 AM              

It's intrigue, not anger.

As you have already made clear we have very different motivations in life (and relationships as you mentioned).

I find it interesting that sometimes there are "truths" that are either conveniently ignored by people or outright dismissed when the evidence is clearly in front of everyone to see - as a TREND - rather than an iron-clad rule, which is where I think I am possibly being misunderstood.

Trends change, ebb and flow, reverse on occasion, but they are always there at the heart of humanity. Individualism is heralded as a saviour and the difference between people used sometimes to dismiss the trend.

However, for me, it is the trend that is the most beautiful as it shows the connectedness between all of us and is the bind that means just maybe we are not alone in all of this.

Something as pronounced as sexual tendencies, opposite sex attraction and relationships that are lets face it the favourite subject of the vast majority of us, not only is the closest trend we have to my point, but also much more observable because of this.

In the past, yes, I had certain issues about partiuclar trends because at the time I had something of an identity crisis.

Having come through this a couple of years back now really, maybe slightly less, my own position on this subject shifts all the time.

edit: wanted to add that I think humanity lacks a sense of belonging to one another. Then we can love each other as a part of each other, feel true responsibility and familiarity with each other. Working together from a common understanding that takes the all and the everyone into account. At the moment we have people creating pockets of belonging and setting that against other pockets, be that between the sexes, cultures, religion, etc.

TRUE individuality can only be expressed and encouraged from this sense of connectedness, rather than the forced individuality we have today.

Undertanding would be so much deeper and stronger and we could move as individuals amongst a collective with much more purpose and clarity.

This thread has been interesting in the way that I see some are almost deliberately misunderstanding others to reinforce their views, and also how diffcult explaining what a bloody alpha male is lol.

posted May 23, 2007 07:00 AM            

Personally:

- If a girl wants to submit fully... There is no hope to be with her for a long term relationship IMO. If I were to get into a relationship I will need total gurantee that the partner I am going to spend the rest of my life with is self-reliant and able to take care of herself if I am not around to help her. What better way is there to let her live her life instead of placing unwanted restrictions? And... I'll be bluntly honest... A woman who isn't proactive in the bedroom as well just will end up with lost interest from her husband. I know what I can do when it comes to sex and I'll show you that as well. What I aslo want to know is what YOU can do and what better way to know that is to see you take the lead once in a while. If you're reluctant to do so, it only means that you aren't sexually confident in your own abilities.

posted May 23, 2007 07:21 AM              

HOW TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPYˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇ
-----------
How to Make a Woman Happy

It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynaecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Show up naked
2. Bring food

posted May 23, 2007 09:34 AM            

So Unbelievably Sexy

What do women want from men? The catalog of wishes is extensive and usually not satisfiable. A fat bank account helps.

by Dominique Feusi

Gentlemen, women want: a beau whose head is in the clouds but who's down to earth, who's incredibly successful but at the same time always has time for us, a romanticist with the sexual allure of a bad boy and the manners of a gentleman, a tower of strength with Tarzan shoulders and the playfulness of a cute, cuddly young animal, a companion who's as loyal as a Labrador and as mysterious as a predator, a real man with sensitivity who surprises us anew every single day, pays the bills on time, tells us how desirable we are and mounts the winter tires without having to be told to.

Since this model isn't available despite a huge amount of pre-orders and in this case, demand doesn't have any effect on the supply, we're temporarily satisfied with the following points:

1. A Man Should Praise Our Beauty
The cosmetics industry has got it a long time ago, men have difficulties doing so: When it's about their beauty, women want to indulge in charming, artfully packaged, imaginative illusions. We're even ready to spend insane amounts of money on it. Once you've understood that, you can make billions and/or lay the most bewitching of creatures. Women believe in 'instantaneous results due to a revolutionary new anti-wrinkle technology' and get shining eyes when you tell them about 'microscopic crystals that make your skin glitter seductively'. Of course we don't really believe that, we're not that stupid. It's the thought that has this inspiring and refreshening effect.

As a general rule, a man is well advised to compliment his lover at random. Just try the avoid the mine field that is the figure question because no matter how you mean it, we're going to explode. Say something nice about our hair instead. The hair is a female communication platform that's lost to heterosexual men so far - with the exception of David Beckham. Praise our jewelry, the fashionable boots and the purse. Whenever something's paid by your credit card, it's worth a compliment.

2. A Man Has to Focus on the Essentials
If you're on a vacation in the woods behind your hometown, you shouldn't daydream about exotic destinations. Whether you think Angelina Jolie is perfectly padded or whether you associate the office intern's butt with winged adjectives: we don't want to know. Tell it to your best friend, of write it into your diary. And never, ever play along when we mention the physical advantages of other women: it's a trap!

3. A Man Can't Have a Smart
When you need a truck to move your furniture and somebody arrives with a Smart, you really have to like the haulier a lot in order to say it's just a matter of technique. Of course you can move mountains even with a Smart, but you need accessories like a roof girder or a trailer. We're talking about hardware here, not soft skills. Let's make it painless for the short ones: What I said about the technique is a lie. The good news is: If your queen of hearts doesn't admit it, she really loves you.

4. A Man Can't Take Off Like a Rocket in Bed
Rockets have a 10 second countdown, and while the astronaut is already floating in heavenly spheres, the female engine hasn't even reached operating temperature yet. That's not Houston's, but Humphrey's problem. My friend advises to not do it like they do on the Discovery Channel. 'Kurt, not like the bunnies!', she usually warns her husband.

Actually, it's quite simple: Men should imagine driving a Lamborghini for the first time. Nobody just gets in, kicks the pedal down and leaves the masterpiece on the service lane after having reached max speed just because there's a game on TV.

Admire the beauty of the shape of the car body and carefully get used to the dashboard. Then smoothly shift into first gear and activate cruise control in the third for a while before you can't hold your horsepower any more.

5. A Man Has to Show Some Interest
When I was a girl, my father used to listen to me for hours. At the same time he tinkered with his car, my soapbox vehicle or the neighbor's lamp and muttered understandingly, 'Yeah, yeah.' Sometime during puberty, I told him while he was pushing some buttons on a prehistoric cell phone, 'And then we all got naked and smoked some crack.' - 'Yeah, yeah.', my creator mumbled.

Women tend to speak verbosely. Which doesn't mean they ever get to the point. Talking doesn't necessarily mean transfer of information. That's only natural, or do you know a hen house where there's no clucking? It's just important that the man at least acts as if he listened. If you get consulted in the worldshaking question whether the next highlights should be honey blond or hazel, just rerun the lastest Champions League game in your mind and mumble, 'Yeah, yeah.' Scientists have found out that female lips emit an average of 20,000 words a day whereas the male desire to communicate is depleted after 7,000 words. A harmonic cooperation can therefore only see the light of day when the man, seemilingly interested, absorbs the verbal overload.

If, to all that, you even manage to tell your gem that her skin glitters seductively, you'll have the best sex of your life.

6. A Man Has Got to Be a Man
A man should be fearless. He has to face the dangers of the night and defend his home even if his only weapon is the plant pollinator. A man should know how to handle the computer, the coffee machine and 'this thing with the red light'. A man can't complain. A man should have hairy legs if he's not a member of the olympic swimming team. A man doesn't shave ornaments into his beard. A man must know the way, but in life and on Milan's freeway ring. A man should mark his territory politely but authoritatively when there's another male passing by. A man can drive a car. A man sometimes doesn't call. A man is a stubborn ram with a mangy dog's ruefulness. A man knows how to apologize.

7. A Man Has to Be Sensitive
If you want to import luxury goods, you have to pay taxes. Or, like the poetic print on a construction worker's T-shirt who recently respectfully stepped aside for me put it, 'If you want to ****, be polite.'

Politeness will only get you halfway there, though, because if you want to stay and have fun, you have to be sensitive. If we say, 'I'm sore, please give me a massage', we don't mean that it's our breasts that hurt. Improve your skills in foot reflexology, deepen your professional knowledge of the fine mechanics of the female body, and we won't have any migraines anymore but be wax in your hands.

8. A Man Has to Stand His Ground
'She always watches those silly love movies and then comlains I've never bought her a castle' is one colleague's excuse for working overtime. It's a known problem. In principle, all female creatures are princesses who get less than they deserve - not only at work. In relationships, this phenomenon isn't a form of the 'Cinderella complex' but the imbalance between supply and demand mentioned above. The fact that most attractive Greek shipping company heirs are occupied by Paris Hilton and the handsome ones of the Kennedys have passed away tends to afflict the female spirit. Repent, apologize, even if you don't know what it's all about. If your loved one keeps complaining, though, you've got to stand your ground. Disagree. Defend your opinion. Because that's when we remember why we think you're so unbelievably sexy.

9. A Man Has to Be Pleasing
The modern woman doesn't look for a provider but for somebody who amuses and pleases her, who pays attention and applauds her. As a general rule, though, the balder and the more overweight you are, the more positive a solid bank account will affect your sex appeal. Should you happen to have a smell of dust around you, you'll need a couple of millions and marriage plans without prenuptial agreements for a pretty girl that could be your daughter to fall in love with your status. On the other hand, we don't mind having to pay for the hotel if you look like Adonis and can crack walnuts between your butt cheeks. A propos butt: Avoid wearing poorly tailored suit pants. Just because illegally cheap stores sell formal attire for every budget, that's not exactly helpful for the mating season.

posted May 23, 2007 11:20 AM            

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City , where a
woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the
entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the
store ONLY ONCE !

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the
shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch . . .. you may
choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a
floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the
building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband .

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids,

and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels

compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids,

are drop- dead good looking and help with the housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead
gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign
reads:

Floor 6 -

You are visitor 4,363,012th to this floor. There are no men on
this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible
to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit
the building, and have a nice day!

I am attracted to the alpha male because he exudes confidence... The alpha male has it in spades... A self-realized man.. with no knooks and crannies that need filling..
He does exist... but he is rare....

The bad boy is just that.. bad...He may try to come off as the "alpha male".. but under that mask lies a very sad individual...
Sometimes, I think they meet someone who sets them in a spin.. They either fly right or send it all crashing down...It usually takes something soul wrenching to change this behavior....

I, unfortunately, have attracted my share of bad/boys... I used to think I had this sticker pasted to my butt indicating my availability to get sucked into the vortex of charm... like Little Red Riding Hood...
And still, the flirty good looking guy with the wicked smile and the fast car will turn my head as i do his... but... you reach that thresh hold of disgust with the obvious outcome...
I don't want to be:
#1.. The main girlfriend... the cheatee
#2...The stand-by.. The one he runs to.
#3...The booty-call..
#4..The free with her finances girl...(sure I'll buy you that plasma t.v.
#5... The flavor of that very moment....
(unless of course, you enjoy ice cream)

------------------
"Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment"

posted May 23, 2007 12:17 PM              

Does being individually free mean not caring about humanity or understanding Oneness? not also be able to view from collective perspective?

The honest sharing here is what drew me in.
Even the most individually free yearn for understanding, yearn for connection and intimacy. Care about others.

I sometimes don't know why I believe it means anything.
I keep on moving. Sometimes it does.

posted May 23, 2007 12:26 PM              

Not saying I agree or disgaree with what Dulce is saying by that. I think its all food for thought, and threads like this are so educational.

posted May 23, 2007 12:51 PM            

So this leads me to wonder, why I'm one of those girls always addicted to the alpha dog? "Nice" guys seem to run from me like frightened little rabbits. I'm very bold, and I'm very aggressive with men. I always have been. I like a challenge. I bore easily. I may be Neptunian, but I'm also very Plutonian...more so actually. I have to figure out a way to overcome this need I have for such intensity. Crazy fights followed by crazy make-up sex...these are the things that I thrive on. These are the things that make me feel alive in a relationship, and I do worry that I won't ever be happy until I get that out of my head. For some reason, relationships don't feel "right" to me unless there is high octane electricity.

I long for the innocence I had in with my first Cancer boyfriend. There were no weird hang ups, fetishes, or skeletons in the closet. He just loved me, and I loved him. But...one day I didn't love him anymore, and thus began my quest for this "intensity." Which, has only managed to hurt me.

I'm trying, I'm really TRYING to see friendship and trust as the first and most important thing in my relationships...as opposed to insane passion and lust. Although, my last relationship was essentially the same thing I had with the Taurus. Different guy, different mask, same alpha dog. So, I don't know how much I'm progressing...

posted May 23, 2007 12:54 PM            

quote:

---

don't understand either, why people do it to one another~~ box and file people away.

---

As sad as what I about to say sounds... It has merit:

posted May 23, 2007 01:51 PM            

quote:

---

I don't understand either, why people do it to one another~~ box and file people away.

---

Yeah, and what's worse is people trying to justify it with weird theories like "were biologically inclined to it". That's like saying all blacks are biologically inclined to rob banks. Yes the latter sounds more ridiculous and offensive, but it is still the same as the former.

posted May 23, 2007 03:28 PM            

I long for the innocence I had in with my first Cancer boyfriend. There were no weird hang ups, fetishes, or skeletons in the closet. He just loved me, and I loved him. But...one day I didn't love him anymore, and thus began my quest for this "intensity." Which, has only managed to hurt me."
***********************************

I could really relate to that... being very Plutonian myself...

and the Cancers, too... very safe... everything I thought i wanted... but I too, fell out of love and it got boring...
An air of unappreciation crept in and that put me in an I don't want try any longer to make it not boring...
Very Sad but true... somewhere in the middle is what i'm aiming for....
It has to exist...
I am so through with the guys who just give you a run for your romantic money...
I've often thought it was my being a giver.. that attracts the takers, the self-centered and the self-absorbed... the bad boys.

posted May 23, 2007 03:54 PM              

Sometimes it is with some people they care more for outer packaging of other people because they do not truly want to know or see what is inside the persons they encounter. It's like being so taken by the beautifully wrapped package that they don't want to open it and see what is inside.

Maybe out of fear that they will be disappointed by the contents they are willing to settle for just the outer packaging.

Strength of character cannot be obtained by lack of sensitivity. Simply because without the sensitivity to truly feel the pain one cannot work through it in order to come out more strong in character.

posted May 23, 2007 04:13 PM            

quote:

---

Strength of character cannot be obtained by lack of sensitivity. Simply because without the sensitivity to truly feel the pain one cannot work through it in order to come out more strong in character.

Sometimes what appears as strength is only a mask worn to cover the inseurities inside the person.

---

I agree with the above statements 100%. However, the alpha male attraction has absolutely nothing to do with physical appearance. I was 100% un-impressed by the Taurus when I first met him. He impressed me with his determination, strength of will, and tremendous sense of humor. That's why he grew on me and I eventually fell for him. He didn't look anything like a Brando type to me.

The last guy I dated, that I would also consider an "alpha," did not show these qualities at all at first. He was subtle, quiet, and self contained. He displayed a lot more vulnerability than the Taurus did, which, in a way made him even more dangerous. But...a strong presence, and a leader never the less.

posted May 23, 2007 04:23 PM              

quote:

---

The last guy I dated, that I would also consider an "alpha," did not show these qualities at all at first. He was subtle, quiet, and self contained.

---

quote:

---

I was 100% un-impressed by the Taurus when I first met him. He impressed me with his determination, strength of will, and tremendous sense of humor.

---

posted May 23, 2007 06:15 PM              

I was really questioning what Xodian meant by "strong characteristics."

I wasn't implying that about you and your relationships. Sorry that I did not clarify that. My fault.

Truthfully, I admire sensitivity a lot in men but I also like a strong, independent man. Am usually first taken by a man's strength. I don't know, it just makes me feel secure being in the arms of a big, strong guy. Good thing for me that my husband has just enough of both sensitivity and strength. And he is very independent. I like sensitivity but don't like men who are too needy. Does that make sense? Don't care much for women who are too clingy and needy either.

He comes off maye as gruff and non-sensitive to others but I have seen him tear up over a sad movie. He's big and strong but inside he wouldn't hurt a fly.

posted May 23, 2007 07:02 PM            

Personally, my thoughts on relationships are:

- Take into account what "future you" will want

- God puts gold and pearls in mostly nondescript rocks (If you're not finding good relationships, you might want to change where you're looking for them. Step away from your preconceived notions.)

- If it's meant to be it will be

posted May 23, 2007 08:35 PM            

Anyways, thank you Mirandee for making sense once again! You spoke my mind all along

quote:

---

Strength of character cannot be obtained by lack of sensitivity. Simply because without the sensitivity to truly feel the pain one cannot work through it in order to come out more strong in character.

Sometimes what appears as strength is only a mask worn to cover the inseurities inside the person.

---

Yes! Honestly, lack of sensitivity is something I consider very weak in a person. My boyfriend is watery and therefore sensitive and due to and its something he always hides too. But you know what, just because he's sensitive like that and he isn't one to control me or boss me around doesn't mean he doesn't have a backbone and it doesn't mean he can be easily led or control. Infact, far from it. One of the reasons I respect him so much is probably because he doesn't let me get away with things that other spineless guys probably would've put up with. Yeah, I will admitt there are still some dynamics in the realtionship we need to work out due to the fact its my aries mars opposing his libra venus (he has his ideas about what's *ladylike* and I toss them out the window because I'm just rebellious like that) but we're workin on it.