posted August 18, 2007 08:30 AM              

I really have too much on my mind, different ideas, concepts and theories whirling around there, creating a mess of thoughts (Tranist Sun, Mercury, Venus and Saturn trine my Sun/ Mercury; Transit Pluto conjunct my Sun / Mercury - seems those transits trigger my Mercury quite a bit ).

HOwever, are you familiar with the theories of love?
I have learned about two different theories.

The first one:
The Triangular theory of love by Sternberg http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triangular_theory_of_love

There are three basic components of a relationship: Intimacy, passion and commitment
And those single components combine with others to make certain relationship styles:

For example:
infatuation would only consist of passion
liking would only consist of intimace, but he defines "liking" as more than frienship, as "bondedness, a warmth, and a closeness with another but not intense passion or long-term commitment"

Romantic love would consist of Passion and Intimacy, whereas the combination of passion and intimacy and commitment is called "consumate love" - that`s the one we all want to have I guess.

That is theory no 1.

Theory 2:
Love styles by John Lee
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_styles http://www.cyberparent.com/romance/romance-love-styles.htm http://psychology.about.com/od/loveandattraction/a/theoriesoflove.htm

According to him there are three basic love styles:
1. Eros
2. Ludus
3. Storge

And 3 secondary, which are a combination of the first ones actually
4. Mania (ERos and Ludus)
5. Pragma (Ludus and Storge)
6. Agape (Eros and Storge)

When I first learned of those two theories, I was fascinated and tried to somehow make them fit astrologically. But I need help with this; I feel I`m on a good way, but not there yet. There are different theories and concepts, swirling around in my head, but somehow there is always something that doesn`t fit. `

1st concept / theory / idea:
Regarding the STernberg-theory (The top synergy site seems to work with this one, too):

Intimacy:
Moon, 4th house, IC
Venus, 7th house
Neptune, 12th house

(I chose those, because they are all so called "soft" planets; also, the Magi call them "romance planets"; in an earlier way to categorize them, before I even knew of that theory, I looked at them for emotional compatibility; so intimacy = emotional in my definition; I also considered to get the 8th house and Pluto in here, because this way I would have all the water signs in one category, but Pluto just doesn`t fit the "soft" image in my book. Of course Pluto can add a lot to create intimacy, but interestingly only in interaspects with the other "soft" planets, like Moon-Pluto or Venus-Pluto or IC-Pluto, and even then there`s a sense of obsession always there, which feels too "dynamic" to just call him an "intimacy-planet"; Also, if Pluto is in aspect to Sun or Mars, the emphasis doesn`t really like on intimacy, warm, tender feelings for each other, does it?)

Passion:
Sun, 5th house
Mars, 1st house, ASC
Pluto, 8th house
I chose those, because those are very dynamic, active planets and another reason is that whenever you put them together with an intimacy-planet (Sun-Venus, Sun-Moon, Venus-Mars, Moon - Mars etc.), you get a very passionate exchange, but not purely physical, it actually is exactly what STernberg describes as "romantic love", a combination of intimacy and passion.
Also, Pluto is the higher octave of Mars, as Neptune is said to be the higher octave of Venus, so I thought they should stay together in one category.
Before I knew this theory I called those planets the "physical" ones.

Well, and now comes the area, that causes problems.
According to STernberg there is a third area of commitment. I`m inclined to include those planets here:

Commitment:
Mercury / 6th house (who would be more commited than a Virgo-type?)
Saturn / 10th house / MC
Venus / 2nd house

So, all earth-signs are together here, which makes sense to me. I once thought aspects between those, and especially house-positions have something to do with social, committed relationships which are based on duty, security and demandings of the social environment, but not necessarily on true love (if there is the main emphasis on these houses).
Of course the presence of Venus and Mercury makes it all difficult, because Venus also is the planet of love.

But now comes the real problem, because I still have 3 planets / houses remaining.

1. MErcury / 3rd house
2. Jupiter / 9th house
3. Uranus / 11th house

In my own categorization I called them "mental, intellectual" planets, good for a communicative exchange and friendships, which are not based on too much feelings, neither intimate ones nor passionate ones.
But I can`t bring myself to see Uranus as a part of commitment or intimacy or passion (even though Uranus can be exciting and rouse passion, but only if in contact with the "emotional" and "physical" planets).

So, this piece doesn`t fit.
Do you think there might be something like "non commitment"?
That sounds almost nasty, maybe some category like "easy, mentally stimulating friendship"?

posted August 18, 2007 09:07 AM              

So we have:

1. Eros
2. Storge
3. Ludus

1. Eros: Venus - Mars
2. Storge: Sun - Moon
3. Ludus: Mercury

with the extension to the outer planets

1. Eros: (passionate, romantic love)
Venus - 7th house
Mars - 1st house
Pluto - 8th house
Venus - 2nd house (??)
It would make sense, that here are the opposite houses together, because Eros is based on the attraction of complimentary polarities.

2. Storge: (warm, intimate, supportive friendship love)
Sun - 5th house
Moon - 4th house
Jupiter - 9th house
Neptune - 12th house

Here it would make sense to have trines, because Storge itself is a description of the harmony and compatibility of a trine-aspect.
But I don`t like the Sun being here, or rather I don´t like the 5th house being here.
5th house is playful, romantic, but not necessarily very serious (depends on the other planets), so it would better fit the Ludus-part I guess.

So, alternative theory of mine:

2. Storge:
1. Moon - 4th house
2. Neptune - 12th house
3. Mercury - 6th house (?????) or 3rd house (????)
4. Jupiter - 9th house
or maybe Saturn - 10th house???
5. or Uranus - 11th house?
But Saturn isn`t warm, Mercury isn`t affectionate, even though 6th house Mercury would provide some care, as is expected of Storge-love.
And 11th house even though known for friendship, isn`t that warm either, is it?

Something doesn`t fit here, methinks.

3. Ludus: playful love, the flirt, romantic but noncommited

1. Mercury - 3rd house (? maybe?)
2. Sun - 5th house (?)
3. Uranus - 11th house (?)
4. Jupiter - 9th house (?)

the oppositions would make some sense again, because with Ludus there is again an attraction between polarities, but not that deep as in the case of Eros.

However that would leave for
Storge:
1. Moon - 4th house
2. Neptune - 12th house
3. Mercury - 6th house
4. Saturn - 10th house

Actually, as I just realize, those are not only trines, but also oppositions, even though the polarity is on a very different level, not as physical as in the both other cases. But Saturn could provide some stability to the warmth of the Moon, whereas Mercury can give a grounded realistic basis to the spiritual and altruistic ways of Neptune. That wouldn`t be all that bad for STorge.

But let`s see, how it fits with the secondary styles:

1. Mania (Eros + Ludus) = obsessive Love (did I hear someone say Pluto??)

Venus, Mars, Pluto connected to Mercury, Sun, Jupiter, Uranus. Hmm, not convinced yet. But I wasn`t convinced of the adding up of Eros and Ludus to Mania in the first place. lol

2. Pragma (Ludus and Storge) = realistic love
Mercury, Sun, Jupiter, Uranus connected to Moon, Neptune, Mercury, Saturn. NOt completely convinced (the Uranus doesn`t seem to fit too well here)

3. Agape (Eros and Storge) = selfless love
Venus, Mars, Pluto and Moon, Neptune, Mercury - probably too hot combinations for the altruistic quality of selfless love (Pluto - Moon doesn`t sound too selfless in my book).

So, it doesn`t fit, but I wasn`t convinced of this categorization of Lee anyway.
Let`s see what happens if we just take the 6 love styles.

1. Eros:
Venus - 7th house
Mars - 1st house

2. Mania:
Pluto - 8th house
Venus - 2nd house

and together they would make the "physical" or "passion" category (from Sternberg)

3. Agape:
Moon - 4th house
Neptune - 12th house

4. Storge:
Sun - 5th house
Jupiter - 9th house

So we would have something like the "intimacy" category here, even though I admit, STorge is not very convincing here.

5. Pragma:
Mercury - 6th house
Saturn - 10th house

6. Ludus:
Mercury - 3rd house
Uranus - 11th house

Hmm, still not completely convinced.

The first one I liked better. What do you think? Maybe you have a solution?

posted August 18, 2007 09:37 AM              

1. Eros (physical compatibility)
Sun - 5th house
Mars - 1st house
Pluto - 8th house

2. Agape (emotional compatibility)
Moon - 4th house
Venus - 7th house
Neptune - 12th house

3. Ludus / Storge (intellectual compatibility, good for friendships)
Mercury - 3rd house
Jupiter - 9th house
Uranus - 11th house

4. Pragma (social compatibility)
Mercury - 6th house
Venus - 2nd house
Saturn - 10th house

It was interesting, I used to categorize synastries like this, and when my friend complained that she felt her boyfriend didn`t feel attracted to her and that there was no sexual interest from his side, which hurt her, I looked into their analysis.
I took into account: personal planets in houses, aspects between planets and aspects of the house - rulers, and it turned out that he had almost no aspects to her horoscope that fell into the "Eros"-category (like 5% or so); instead there was a huge emphasis on "Pragma" and also to a lesser extent "Agape". He really liked her, got along well with her, cared for her, but the most important thing for him was the fact that she was someone he could "show" to the world, and who supported him in all every-day-issues, supporting his career and life overall.

posted August 18, 2007 01:15 PM              

However, I tested my theory (returned to my old one again) on Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. It was just a rough draft, because I didn`t differentiate between certain aspects, and it certainly would be a difference, if there was a conjunction in connection to the 5th house or just a weak wideorbed sextile.

However, the results of my rough analysis were as following:

The overall relationship (all aspects together):

Eros (physical / sexual): 26,5%
Agape (emotional / intimacy): 26%
Ludus / Storge (intellectual): 19,5%
Pragma (social): 28%

It seems to me a good overall result; 25% would be the average, so all areas seem to have their say; the intellectual level is a little weak, and interestingly the social area is the strongest, but the physical and emotional are good, too. So, a fairly good result.

Now, I`m looking at both individual scores:

Brad:
physical: 29%
emotional: 25%
intellectual: 20%
social: 26%

Angelina:
physical: 23,5%
emotional: 27%
intellectual: 18,5%
social: 31%

Still a good result, methinks. Quite balanced.

But there are also some differences.
Brad reacts on a social, emotional and physical level to Angelina, which is what we want to see in a good relationship. His results are very close to each other, so no area is ESPECIALLY important to him, his attraction to her is multilayered.

Her case is a little bit different, though.
It is very noteable, that there is an emphasis on the social area (I consider everything over 30% as above average and strong). The next highest score is the emotional level. Probably she considers themselves to be emotionally bonded workmates, a great team who can accomplish important things together. A part of the high score in "social" is because Brad gives a lot of personal planets into her 6th house; so the everyday life seems to play an important role for her.

Also, if you compare Brad`s results with hers, you can see that the greatest difference is in the area "physical"; he scores 29%, she scores 23,5%, so I guess, he is the one who feels a stronger sexual attraction, even though her result is still a good one. Under 20% would be bad, I guess. Or a score that is VERY different from her partner`s, but in this case it`s quite balanced.

Hmm, maybe I find a pair that doesn`t match like that.

DD

posted August 18, 2007 02:10 PM              

It`s been a teenage-romance that lasted for 7 years, so a real relationship.
On the outside it was picture perfect, but on the inside the passion on the boy`s side died fairly quickly and also despite their commitment to each other and to the relationship, he always was a bit detached and treated this more like a "friendship".

HOwever their overall result was:
physical: 24%
emotional: 25%
intellectual: 20%
social: 31%
It looks like a fairly good result; the high score in "social" shows their commitment and the image they showed to the outer world; they were also a very good working team.
The physical aspect is at least average, and even despite their difficulties in this area, they never stopped this.

But the real challenging lay in their different individual results:

Boy:
physical: 18%
emotional: 26%
intellectual: 25"
social: 31%

Girl:
physical: 30%
emotional: 24%
intellectual: 15%
social: 31%

Well, the difference in the score of the physical area is quite something to chew on. 18% vs. 30%. No wonder she didn`t feel attractive to him.
Apart from that she didn`t need as much intellectual exchange as him; playing mindgames and such things. Actually during the whole relationship with him she felt "stupid" compared to him, which is absolutely not true.
So, it all comes down to their different needs. She would have needed a more physical exchange, whereas he would have wanted more communication with her.
The funny thing is she is a very communicative girl; only with him she couldn`t talk properly.

posted August 18, 2007 05:06 PM            

------------------
Sun in Libra
Moon in Cancer
Jupiter in Cancer
Venus in Virgo
Mars in Cancer
Ascendant in Cancer

posted August 25, 2007 11:40 AM              

Its very ineresting and a new way of analising relationships

posted August 26, 2007 02:51 AM            

Keep going with your postings, they are fascinating, don't think theyre not... I will be looking at my charts and seeing if and how they relate.