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Author
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Topic: help me!!! need advice on dealing with sag daughter
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jane
Knowflake Posts: 2000
From:
Registered: Nov 2006
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posted October 02, 2008 08:35 AM
 
Anytime.  I think it's rare for people to directly and unabashedly communicate their Moon needs. They'll filter it through their Sun. It feels too raw to say, "When you didn't let me have that soda, I felt like you didn't care about me." A Leo Moon will feel like that, though! We can't help but equate a little spoiling with love. That's how we love and think others will show it in return. But of course, we all show love differently and that's how miscommunication and unintended hurts can happen. So with a Sun sign that's mutable and sees intellectual value in exceptions, a Leo moon underneath that will be hurt if exceptions are never made. I know you're an incredible mom. Just you being here and seeking info about this tells me that! I just wanted to point out why, to her, the lack of exceptions to the rules is emotionally painful. Someone who's hurt is more likely to act out unreasonably. Not hurt, more likely to stay reasonable and make good decisions. My guess is those little gifts you indulge her--staying up, shopping--mean SO MUCH to her.  Maybe she becomes more difficult when she is in need of another dose. ?
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cap.aqua.taurus
Knowflake Posts: 18
From:
Registered: Sep 2008
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posted October 02, 2008 08:55 AM
"Maybe she becomes more difficult when she is in need of another dose. ?"that might be so cause she was sooooooo dramatic!!!! i was completely baffled, as if a soda is worth getting upset about. but yeah, the next day, when i was giving her my no nonsense face, she asked me can we go to the store and buy stuff for a "special" sandwich.
astrology is amazing! IP: Logged |
jane
Knowflake Posts: 2000
From:
Registered: Nov 2006
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posted October 02, 2008 09:04 AM
lol about the drama. Maybe she just really, really likes soda?  That makes a lot of sense about the request for a special sandwich. It was never about the soda, it's not about the sandwich...in her eyes, that's all just a symbol of you seeing her as someone special. I think you have an admirable and smart philosophy of wanting to raise her to be disciplined, patient, and responsible. I think she will be all those things. And what will help her become that way is a little more lenience and indulging. That's because that will keep her nurtured emotionally, and a child who's certain she's loved is less likely to carry around hurts that then make her act out unreasonably and self-destructively. It may seem counter-intuitive, but with this kid, a little less discipline will produce a more healthy, responsible, and sensible child in the long run. She may have cavities, though. IP: Logged |
cap.aqua.taurus
Knowflake Posts: 18
From:
Registered: Sep 2008
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posted October 02, 2008 09:15 AM
I also read that moon in leos need lots and lots of love to function properly. IP: Logged |
GemGemGem
Knowflake Posts: 341
From:
Registered: Dec 2007
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posted October 02, 2008 09:24 AM
Cap.Aqua.Taurus, I know what you mean. My daughter is only 2, and she's already very independent, strong willed, and freedom loving! I think the relationship between mothers and daughters are very complex because we sooo want to be their friend in addition to being their mother. But it is very important to be their mother first. Independent, strong willed children want to be able to express themselves and be accepted for who they are, and not conform or follow any rules. The key is to parent them (guide them) withough being unfair or overly restrictive. You have to be fair, and when you do not allow them to do something, you have to explain exactly why. Communication is key. Yes, they are children, but if you treat them with respect, and LISTEN to what they are saying, and how they feel, they will be more willing to understand your point of view. The best way to teach children is by example! My prayers are with you Cap! Good luck! IP: Logged |
jane
Knowflake Posts: 2000
From:
Registered: Nov 2006
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posted October 02, 2008 09:25 AM
I also read that moon in leos need lots and lots of love to function properly.Hmm. It's hard for me to say. I have an exact Moon-Uranus square, so I'm far from the quintessential Moon in Leo. But your daughter also has a Moon-Uranus aspect, the opposition. So I would guess she'd be similar to me. Not that demanding emotionally, likes her space and independence, but does need a lot of warmth. And one of the things she'll interpret as warmth is the special treatment we've already discussed. IP: Logged |
blue moon
Moderator Posts: 4700
From: U.K
Registered: Dec 2007
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posted October 02, 2008 09:57 AM
The Leo Moon is Opposite Mars in Aqua quote:
you take advantage of even trivial issues to turn them into energy-filled confrontations and clashes
http://www.astrologyweekly.com/astrological-aspects/moon-opposition-mars.php To complicate the picture, Mars is Conjunct Neptune and both are opposite the Moon. The Moon Opposite Neptune makes me think that she is very much in tune with the emotions of her environment. If you are anxious about her future, she might be picking up on that. Maybe relaxing a bit might help? Sorry if this is cramming you with too much information. IP: Logged |
Astra
Knowflake Posts: 553
From:
Registered: May 2007
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posted October 02, 2008 11:16 AM
Do NOT get her a promise ring! Every single girl I knew growing up who had a promise ring ended up having sex or getting pregnant during their early teens. I don't know the reason, but I think that having that constant reminder makes them think about sex even more, which makes it harder to resist. I'm still abstinent to this day despite the fact that my mom talked to me about sex for a couple of minutes when I was ten. All you have to do is tell her the reasons why you think she should wait.Now if she just wants a promise ring just because she thinks it looks cool, then that's fine, but if she is depending on that ring to keep her "pure," then that isn't good. Some Geminis are promiscuous and some aren't. If they have Venus in Gemini or Aries, then there's an increased chance of them being very flirtatious. Some will take it to a new level and become very promiscuous. However, aspects and house placement can significantly alter her Venus. My mom is a Gemini rising and I have Sun in Gemini. Neither of us is even close to being even flirtatious let alone promiscuous! Your daughter has the potential in becoming wild with all of that fire and Uranus thrown into the mix. However, children are more strongly influenced by their parenting than by their birth chart. As other posters have said, be her mother first and friend second. She absolutely must know that you are the one in charge and ultimately she must listen to you. When you tell her :"no," then tell her the reason. Tell her your thought process that led to your decision. This is how you should teach kids decision-making skills. Never just tell them "no." If you are in a hurry and don't have time for an explanation, then make sure you say that you'll tell them the reason when you return home or something like that. Teach her about moderation. It's okay to have candy and soda once in a while, but that consuming them regularly is bad for her health. She has a Leo moon and a Sag sun. Believe me, these signs live for pleasure! The dark side of these signs is that they go overboard in their indulgences, so teach her self-control, discipline and moderation now because it will be far more difficult to teach her these lessons as a teenager. As she grows older, gradually give her more independence. IP: Logged |
amowls
Knowflake Posts: 866
From: Richmond, VA USA
Registered: Dec 2007
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posted October 02, 2008 01:21 PM
Promise rings are creepy and arbitrary imo.If my mom had given me a promise ring, I would've DEFINITELY engaged in sexual activity much sooner to show her how ludicrous it was. Actually, I would've lied about losing it lol, I still would've waited until I was ready. But I was a young feminist who saw "promise rings" as an extension of the patriarchy and kept women down by putting too much emphasis on their virginities and not themselves as people. Come to think of it, my mom did tell me that I wasn't "allowed" to lose my virginity until I was 23. And I always said to her "...You really expect me to keep my virginity through college?? When did you lose your virginity?"
"17."
"So why 23?"
"It's the average age between me and your father."
lol. My mom is an Aquarius moon, too. IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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