posted November 06, 2008 11:45 PM         

I could have torn that invitation down, easily. But I want to “risk” this because I am awfully curious, haha. Curious about life, about what might happen, how he might react, how I might feel then … “digging deep”, searching for emotional adventures, going down to the bottom, breaking taboos (I’m an 8th house personality, having my Sun, Mercury, Mars and Vertex there – I can’t help this need to “find out”, haha.)

I know that I might get hurt again. But, honestly: I feel quite self-secure now - and as if nothing could harm me. The hurting end is more than six months ago now, we live far away from each other and had no contact since then. I experienced a last emotional flashback about 6 weeks ago, when Mercury was retro. Now I am sure: I don’t want him back. I even stopped thinking of him and I stopped “checking his transits” a month ago, finally. ;-)

I guess that I’d like to prove that to myself – to feel and see the evidence that I am really over him … by meeting him … and NOT feeling drawn back to him. When I fantasize about the possible outcome of that meeting – IF it happens at all – I see myself in a very calm and strong position, friendly, but distant.

Now … I’ve taken a closer look at the transits for him and me during that particular night;-)

Here are our transits – strong aspects to each of our natal charts. What would you expect from these? How might this night go for him, and for me? I guess … it looks as if both of us possibly will go through some emotional thing that night … (I visualized a scene: That he’d bring his new girlfriend, if he has one … that I’d see these two … that I’d survive it, anyway.)

very tight orbs only (0-1 dg)

TRANSITS FOR HIM

tr. MOON over night (from 9.pm until 3am)
- cj. his Venus/Pluto
- cj. his Venus/ASC
- cj. his Sun/Mars
- cj. his VENUS

tr. SUN opposite his Destinn

tr. MERCURY
- cj. my (!) NAME-asteroid in his chart
- cj. his draco Juno

tr. VENUS cj. his Valentine

tr. JUPITER will square his MOON just until this night > the next day it will leave his Moon alone and will start to sextile his CHIRON and EROS for a couple of weeks

tr. SATURN will start(!) to oppose his CHIRON and his EROS - right that night (!) (and will last for a few weeks)

tr. CHIRON will just have started to square his NEPTUNE for a few weeks.

tr. URANUS will (still) be opposing his ASC for a few months longer

tr. NEPTUNE will (still) oppose his MERCURY for a few months longer

What feeling do you get from this? Especially the changing transits to his Chiron-Eros-conjunction, which lies in his 7th house ….? AND: Mercury conjuncts my Name-asteroid in his chart that night ….

TRANSITS FOR ME

tr. MOON over night (from 9.pm until 3am)
- cj. my Casanova
- cj. my Part of Fate
- cj. my PLUTO
- cj. my Sun/ASC

tr. SUN
- cj. my Part of Passion
- opposite my dr. Juno

tr. MERCURY
- cj. my ASC
- cj. my NEPTUNE

tr. VENUS oppos. my Vertex

tr. MARS
- trine my Mercury
- square my Venus
- square my NN

tr. JUPITER trine my SATURN

tr. SATURN trine my SATURN

tr. URANUS will (still) conjunct my IC for a few months longer

posted November 06, 2008 11:58 PM         

But ... another thing is true: I've got that festivity on my mind, which will come up in two weeks. I decided to accept that invitation while Mercury was retro. I also promised to hold this speech. So: I am gonna go there.

It is just that ... today it feels totally different than one month ago. Because my feelings have changed.

That's why I checked out my own transits for that specific night - and couldn't help to look at his chart this once more - to get a clue whether we might meet or not.

posted November 07, 2008 12:12 AM         

"emotional disaster" is a bit of self-irony, of course. What I wanted to say was: I feel very "8th house", I can relate to all the common descriptions very strongly. Not only because I've got that stellium there, but also because the 8th house is said to be Pluto's/Scorpios house - and Pluto is the ruling planet of my chart, cojuncting my MC, while my ASC is in Scorpio.

So: "emotional disaster" means: I do not evade emotional or psychological confrontations, I tend to go to extremes sometimes and seldom fear the "danger" or potential risks of an interhuman situation ... because my curiosity to FIND OUT what is going on behind the facades is much, much stronger than any caution or conventionality ... Even if I know that I risk some hurt - I rather go down to the bottom. I do this in ALL aspects of my life, always. And even if I've experienced "defeat" some times in my life ... at the end of the day, I draw my personal strength from this. Because ... don't know ...I am seeking some "wisdom" that goes very deep, very humane, psychological and all. Yes - I DO risky things sometimes, especially as far as interhuman relations are concerned ... but I am not afraid to try out and find out.

posted November 07, 2008 01:21 AM         

It's not that we seek out or create emotional disaster, but 8th house people deeply want to find out the truth and get way, way, way under the surface of things. Many of us would rather do that than leave well enough alone, ever. (I'm Sun, Merc, Mars in the 8th.)

I think that's why I HATE that book "He's Just Not That Into You." The idea that someone I care about feels a certain way and I should leave it alone and not care WHY is crazy to me. I always want to know everyone's deepest, secret thoughts and feelings, their conscious and unconscious motivation for everything they do (especially if there's a difference), and how people feel and think about each other. The idea that I'm supposed to accept that someone feels a certain way and not know every last detail of why and how is totally offensive to me.

Lately I've gotten a little better about leaving well enough alone. But it's a challenge for me.

posted November 07, 2008 01:46 AM         

A sentence just came into my mind, don't know where I take that from, just flew into my mind and goes like this:

SATISFACTION COMES FROM K.N.O.W.I.N.G. (and understanding.)

I'd rather take bad news or an unpleasant truth than being amidst a foggy mist. I want to KNOW ... what "it" is. And "it" can be various things, depending on the given situation and setting.

But this goes only for special things/people/matters. Otherwise it would be draining, such intensity. 8th house is selective.

I guess, 8th house people tend to focus their interests very much and very strongly - other people might call it "obsession". But I guess it feels less "helpless" than being "obsessed", when 8th-house-influence is involved. When you feel "obsessed" you see yourself as a victim, maybe. Whereas an 8th-house person (with personal and active planets there) would perceive himself/herself as "active" - deliberately seeking out the core of any thing and person and situation that they're intersted in. They can be quite courageous to "reach their goal" - and their goal is: TO FIND OUT.

There's also another factor adding to a certain "strength" an 8th-house-person might be blessed with: IF something is finished or dismissed or forgotten ... it will be forever! I guess no other house is better suited for definite transformations and real, final endings - in many matters.

It just might take while, because an 8th house charactre wants to learn ALL that there is to learn. On their way, while still studying and learning about the topic of their interest, they can be quite stubborn, fixed, narrowly focused or maybe even narrow minded. But when finally he/she is satisfied with this ... has found out what he/she wanted to find out ... this person says "goodbye" to an idea or to a person ... and this "byebye" is irretrevable. 8th house is uncompromising. Not easily to corrupt (if at all). They're digging for treasures, and the treasure of most value is the truth - bare, plain, naked. Can immerse himself/herself completely - AND can detach himself/herself completely too. (Which sometimes surprises and/or hurts people around them who got used to the former intensity.)

posted November 07, 2008 06:17 PM         

I do put myself in situations that can be seen as dangerous or maybe a little emotionally masochistic.

Sometimes, I do it, though, just to see if I'm completely over a person. To test myself, in a way. I often repeat this process until I realize that it doesn't affect me anymore. Because if I don't recover from whatever hurt me in the past, involving that person, it'll feel like a weakness to me.

posted November 07, 2008 07:16 PM         

I wonder if the oppositions show us from a distance the 'potentiality' compared to the conjunction which shows us 'what is'. tSun opposite your Juno, may shine the light on what could have been, but from a safe distance - let's face it, it was a life-changing, transforming, passionate relationship. As you see, tSun is opposite his Destinn.

tVenus is a tease - being conjunct his Valentine and opposite your Vertex. The planets don't want to lie, but reveal the Truth. Mars casts a square glance at your Venus and NN. This could be the moment when your heart leaps into your throat.

However, tJupiter and Saturn supporting your natal Saturn cannot let you down and will prove that your attendence at this speech is sensible enough to reap karmic rewards.

tMoon casts a motherly watch over your heart, fate and deep self. Your Pluto, Sun and Asc has an IC quality to it - the deepest part of your self. tMoon watches over both of you, protecting you from pain, but offering the soft light of compassion to live, feel and honour the richness of your emotions. The Moon honours the depth of emotions.

tSaturn opposing his Chiron and Eros will be interesting!!! (As you know that will effect me too ). My prediction based on my own recent experiences is that tSaturn will hold me accountable for the way I live my erotic emotions on a knife-blade - the agony and ecstacy of a tender heart in love - wanting to experience the transcendental ecstacy that a soulful union can bring. I feel an element of Truth will be revealed to me at this time, and because I have made the right choices, I will be rewarded with a sense of relief. It may be a different story for "him" if he has broken a few basic spiritual laws.

I don't know whether it was meant to be - as I think the two parties must mutually project their love, passion, expectation into the future if it is to survive. That is why the end feels like a death. The present existed, but the future didn't. Along the way we must pay the toll for movement we make through Life if we do not pay reverance to its sanctity.

I think you will have a better night than him, but any pain felt won't be long-lasing and you will both move in different directions shortly after that night.

Of course, he may not attend Then enjoy your evening in a light-hearted fashion!!

Can you check out both of your Eris in connection with any Asc's or Nodes, out of curiousity, please?!

Love to you ...

posted November 08, 2008 10:57 AM         

If I thought that bringing people's truest and deepest thoughts and motivations, including my own, into the open and into the light would hurt them in a bad or evil way, I might not want to do it. But the way I feel as an 8th house Leo is that the world would be a much better place if EVERYONE challenged him or herself to get to the bottom of things and face every truth.

posted November 08, 2008 07:41 PM         

quote:

---

Can you check out both of your Eris in connection with any Asc's or Nodes, out of curiousity, please?!

---

Could you make that Eris in significant aspect with anything, please?

posted November 09, 2008 01:21 AM         

thanks a lot for your wise and sensitive words again. You’re really one of the most valuable confidantes and advisors in this matter for me.;-)

You asked for Eris – and I looked it up. Actually, I don't have the slightest idea about Eris’ meaning and impact … I also found out that it obviously is a very slow moving planet – since its position in the guy’s chart and in my chart are almost the same, also in our relationship chart (?) Yikes … : Eris is practically conjunct my own Chiron – and I wander what this might mean? Anyway, I looked up the constellations it makes to his chart, to my chart and to our relationship chart. All in all I get the impression that Eris is treating him much better than it treats me. Hm.

I am curious what you might see from that ….?

Eris in his chart: 11° Aries
Eris in my chart: 12° Aries
Eris in our combined (Davison) chart: 10° Aries

Eris around 11° Aries in relation to HIS chart (orbs 0-2)

cj. his Part of Fate
cj. his Saturn/Amor-Midpoint
sextile his N.N.
sextile his Pallas
sextile his Part of Marriage
trine his Great Attractor
trine his Aura
trine his Lovejoy
trine his Part of Treachery
trine his Venus/Jupiter-Midpoint
square his Valentine
square his own Name-asetroid
opposite his Harmonia
opposite his Interkosmos
opposite his Venus/Mars-Midpoint

Eris around 11° Aries in relation to MY chart (orbs 0-2)

cj. my Chiron
cj. my Saturn/Node-Midpoint
sextile my Lust
sextile my Part of Danger
sextile my Part of Catastrophe
square my Vertex
square my Aura
square my Destinn
square my Venus/Saturn-Midpoint
trine my Isis
trine my Circe
trine my Actor
trine my Great Attractor
trine my Part of Husbandry
trine my Excalibur
trine my MC/Node-Midpoint
opposite my Eurydike
opposite my Tristan

Eris around 11° Aries in relation to our COMBINED (Davison) chart (obs 0-2)

sextile Sun
sextile Vesta
sextile Victoria
sextile Icarus
sextile Venus/Mars-Midpoint
sextile Mars/Jupiter-Midpoint
trine Hera
trine Isis
trine Triumf
trine Moon/Pluto-Midpoint
trine Mercury/Pluto-Midpoint
square Part of Libido
square Uranus/Node-Midpoint
opposite Eros
opposite Part of Discord

I am really curious what you might make of these, dear Koiflower!

posted November 09, 2008 02:03 PM         

I had this thread on my mind again, because there's a thread in "Personal Readings" by a Scorp woman wondering how to get her Taurus friend back, a situation that admittedly sounds pretty hopeless, and someone wrote, "What part of No do you not understand?" Now, as a heavily Cancer-influenced Leo, when someone says no, I listen, BUT, I was thinking how much in that situation or any situation like it, I would desperately want/need to know all the details of WHY. Then I would want to brainstorm 100 ways I could change the situation if I wasn't satisfied with it.

posted November 10, 2008 04:20 PM         

My interest is also on the effects is has in conjunctions within Aries on people's personal aspects. Also, because it is slow moving, then it has a transit effect as well.

The discord view is a start, but I agree with Glaucus in that it has a freedom of rights quality to it.

My interent security is due to expire in 2 days!!! So hopefull I'll be organised enough this week, to get some more.

posted November 10, 2008 08:30 PM         

NO HURRY at all!

posted November 16, 2008 08:46 AM         

I will still ponder Eris. I like to start off with conjunctions as the main ideal. But I wouldn't mind looking into the power of midpoints.

There seems to be some significant midpoints for both of you.

Let me know if you have any thought on Eris. This is all very new!!!

posted November 16, 2008 10:14 AM         

thanks for giving that link and for having collected that ERIS-info there. I just read it - and it also rings a bell inside of me. It is just that today I don't have much time, so I'll also come back - and maybe reply in your Eris-thread then, okay?

It surely provides interesting material to further ponder on.