posted August 24, 2003 02:04 AM         

Dear God, thank you so much. I would have responded earlier but I was away on vacation visiting my dad in Georgia and did not have computer access. This time last year I was visiting my dad and had some pretty bad transists regarding my career that manifested very quickly. Enough of the past.

Lanny, I had to tell you everything you are saying is true to life. Now I will never doubt astrology when my religious friends question the science of it or the validity of astrology.

I do feel like I am in or shall I say was in a power struggle with my ex. He emailed me August 10th and broke up with me. I was on vacation calling my voice mail every day hoping that he would at least call me to say something. I just arrived home to check my email and he has not emailed me. I thought he may have changed his mind or was just angry. My intuition or my feeling is that he wants me to make the first move. But how do you contact someone who says goodbye forever and move on with your life?

I am a Taurus and I know I am stubborn. If I thought contacting him would get us back together I would, but bowing down and giving in to someone when they have clearing set the stage has never worked for me in the past and at this point in my life I want to start behavior that works and gets me the results I want.

I guess Pluto is bringing up past behaviors that have been to my detriment. I am trying to figure out the lesson learned from this experience and all I can think of is, no relationship is more important than I am individually. In the past I would constantly go back to a guy in order to make it work but now I have a little more pride and the more time passess the less I want to be with my ex. I still have a deep need for closure but if he does not have enough respect for me to talk to me face to face or on the telephone I am really starting to get angry and not want to have anything to do with him even if he does call.

I will not repeat past behavior of scarificing my power in order to be with someone who wants to be in control. He has a Moon in Taurus and after checking my voice mail daily, I have come to the conclusion he will never call me. I have a Sun in Taurus and feel I will not call him. I guess I am old fashioned and if I had broken up with him and changed my mind I feel I should be the one to make up.

Lanny I hope you are right. I hope this will either redefine our relationship or lead to a longer-term one later on with someone else. I don't like things to end all of a sudden. I usually like to stay friends with the person I loved but I guess he (my ex) does not see it that way.

Thanks again,

posted August 24, 2003 03:29 AM         

Sorry it has taken me so long to post. I was away on vacation.

You have the best analogies. I never thought of love like an elevator. I guess my ex almost took me to the top floor but let it plummet nearly down to the ground.

I don't know that I feel unhappy. I was happy on my vacation and trying not to think about my ex but now I feel really sad. I guess I feel stupid that I loved and trusted someone who does not care anything about me. I too also settle for something in the middle like friendship. I think friendship is highly underrated between a man and woman. For my ex not to call me or email me or be curious if I got his message or concerned how I might feel is beyond me. It is just devasting but I get over it.

I don't know if it was you but I was reading a post about phooey-Cancers and someone said weeds grow quickly but flowers take time to grow. It was a perfect analogy. Our relationship grew quickly but the flowers did not have time to blossom. I should restate that I relationship did not grow but developed quickly and died. Growth occurs with rain and sunshine not just sunshine.