posted January 19, 2005 02:08 PM         

My hubby is the same number as I. He calls that thing that we have a mindmelt but it feels like a soulmelt.

Do you notice similarities between you two?
Like you are on the same wavelength?

If so - no timing will be bad timing to call and talk to him. If not - still I think he needs to hear how you feel about your relationship or potential friendship.
Just don't beat so hard on yourself.

Having said that I'm sure someone will have REAL astrological insight for you. Just wanted to offer a shoulder.

posted January 19, 2005 05:05 PM         

before to take a look in your chart, I want to tell you something...donīt worry, like you are millions of people all over the world, feeling the same as you do. I'm writting to you from very far away, and let me tell you that Iīve felt the same many times.
Some people are addicted to love, itīs worst than cocaine, itīs an addiction,that let you in a major down, when you donīt satisfay your need for it.
think..are you just addicted to love or really love that man?

so let me take a look for your chart

yep, there is a lot of energy here,maby to much for a picies can handle.I think he feels like that..that you are to much for his energetic level. aquarian, let this piscies swim for another ocean, you will be much happier.

Looking for you synastry i think he feels more confortable just taking you as a friend, than a lover. But this is only my opinion about your synastry,I really prefer composite chart for a more detailled description, post it here. Sometimes things donīt work in a synastry,and in a composite works.

And donīt forget aquarian, in this moment,millions of people fell like you do or even worst, and they survive.

kisses

Ana

posted January 20, 2005 01:37 AM         

Also, I know you may not be doing this... but stop worrying about him and if he's alright. He didn't die because you two aren't talking.

posted January 20, 2005 03:10 AM         

I'm wierd in that sense... if I haven't "revealed" myself emotionally to you... then I am cool. You will never see me sweat. But if I let you in, then all my pride, shame, coolness, objectivity... it's all out the window. I just don't care if I look or act pathetic or needy. I don't know if that's just me or an Aquarian thing. I'm really detached if it's just dating and it hasn't become "real"... but with all my serious loves... I'm really candid, shameless and I the editing and self-censorship taht usually goes in with my internal emotionality I usually never reveal and my mouth... is gone.

I am being drama queen, I know this, lol... *shaking my head*... I'll try to be cool and not call him. I know you're right... Eeeeeek.

Angelicus... here is the composite chart... you know, I've been so wrapped up in Synastry lately, I haven't looked at this thing in forever... It's very... interesting indeed!

posted January 20, 2005 11:21 AM         

I am not very good at breaking up and I might have made a lot of mistakes but I think its important to get that last talk. I basically told him how I felt, how much I missed him and how badly I hoped things would work. It wasnt meant to be, but at least now I have the satisfaction of knowing the truth - he was the weak one, not I; he gave up on us - I didnt.

Basically, what that taught me was that I am a good person, capable of falling completely in love, getting angry, missing someone and having hope. It taught me I was normal to be that way and its ok to be so intense. I hope my experience can help you find your inner S-elf and make you realise how love initially begins inside of you!

posted January 20, 2005 12:53 PM         

If you made him feel that way then he wants control again. Give him time, no more than a month though, and call or drop by. Better yet, drop in where he's hanging out and say Hi. That way at least you have cleared the air. Nothing is better than that, you don't want a run in situation where you both feel awkward and ruin your day.

I wish I had done this with my ex Gemini/Pisces rising, I waited too long, and then confronted him, by then he was in the flesh live with someone else. Not a great way to end the drama. I have to warn you, those Pisces placements do not forgive that easily and you will get hurt first before it gets better. So be prepared to act hurt, or at least cope with the insults before being friends.

Men seem to hate being friends, I would call him a special friend from now!

posted January 20, 2005 04:27 PM         

maybe next time you feel like calling or contacting (meaning email too) him, just go take a bath or something. condition your hair, exercise, do something that's about you and that will make you feel better. Just give it a little time and see how you feel.
Try to make it at least until feb. 2nd, don't know why. maybe no specific reason.

posted January 20, 2005 04:41 PM         

Natasha... he has a lot of emotional issues. He's always trying to act like he's not angry, he's not upset, like nothing can phase him. But it's not true, he's confided a lot of things to me that apparently nobody else knows and he is nursing a lot of past hurts. I think another huge problem for him is that he's a mummy's boy. His mother is ridiculously wealthy and spoils the hell out of him. Like when his computer broke, she ran out and bought him a shiny new laptop. He has dinner with her two times a week. And she cries to get his attention. And then his step-dad will call him and say his mother is upset because the family is all over the place and she would feel beeter if he would come by. I'm trying not to be judgemental, and I never said anything because I didn't wanna make it a competition, but I would be thinking... "he's almost 30 years old and he saw you last weekend, what's the big deal???" She's another Aquarian drama queen, lol. But, she creates a problem for him cause no one can live up to her. I have another story about the ex too!!! He had this athletic event in Europe to attend and he planned to take.... (dun dun dun!!!) his mother!!! Well, when he first told me this story, he made his ex out to be psycho because she flipped out over this. So he ended up taking his ex too. But now I understand! His mother takes up soooo much of his time!!! At this point, if we were still together and he had something similar going on, I would flip out too if he didn't invite me but said he was taking his mother!!! But with ex... she was still a cow because she went to this athletic event, brough a gaggle of girlfriends, went sight seeing everyday WITHOUT HIM and... never even showed up to his athletic events... Not even one (his mother never ended up going). So... yeah she was a cow, but... I understand her flipping out about bringing his mother and not inviting her.

You're right, men hate being friends and I don't think it would be possible for us to see each other regularly without uuuhh... being friends with benefits That's why... I would just like it if I could call him up or vice versa once a month or so, or maybe have a coffee after the gym... after all this blows over though. Not now. Like what Yin was saying about being on the same wavelength... I have never ever met anyone who is on the EXACT same wavelength as me like he is. We agree about everything. Every single little thing. Like we share a brain. And this is why I'm baffled by his behaviour... see I have felt these deep connections before... I mean, hello? I was married. I eloped. Can you imagine what I was feeling at that time? But he hasn't. When we first met, he was spinning out like he had met his ultimate soul mate. He would never stop babbling about it. And now? It's like he doesn't even care It's not even like hate.... it's like total indifference.

And that really hurts

posted January 20, 2005 04:59 PM         

i noticed these things:

you're an aquarian sun, and he has his moon in the 11th house. this actually works a bit like a conjunction between your sun and his moon, in part.

your mars is right on his IC! this means that even though your mars falls in his 3rd house, it functions more like it's in his 4th house. any planet in the previous house yet conjunct the cusp of the next is going to be mostly expressed in the NEXT house, especially if the angles are involved. mars wants action, competition. in the fourth, we often want to hide, to retreat and feel safe and secure. you can see the contrast.

your chiron falls right on his DC, too. this might be too much for him to handle...i would imagine that's a pretty intense connection. especially as his chiron looks to be opposite his pluto.

(my saturn actually falls right on my g's DC - i think sometimes it's too much for him. i would imagine a chiron connection could be similar - too painful perhaps.)

i'm sorry it's not more, ag, i hope you're feeling better by now. feel free to write me and vent anytime you feel like it. my e-mail address is christina.green@tccd.edu.

take care!

posted January 20, 2005 09:22 PM         

But I would write him a letter at least, but do not have an open talk about what went wrong, nobody really wants that, at first. Praise him, and tell him how great he was and honestly tell him you love him. If you don't, then don't.

Be honest but if he wasn't honest with you before, he won't be now, and if he does talk to you he will bring up the most hurtful things and you will react causing more pain in him.

If you really care, then think about what you would want in his shoes. Do you really want him back as a friend? Abuse can be emotional as well as physical, sure he didn't punch you in the stomach but look at you've been through?
The stories about his ex sound blown up, if his mother is supporting him, she probably encourages to hate every woman besides her, anything you do will be wrong.

Yours sounds exactly like my ex b/f, emotional problems are pretty common, especially in momma's boys. And the ex is always terrible, and now you are the ex and you are wondering if he's talking about you that way.

Try to accept his differences and find a level of love you can live with. When you do meet, do not try and setup the place and time, let him decide where and when and for how long, and what you talk about.

Good Luck, didn't I say you would feel sorry for him later? That's because you are not over him yet, and you are not ready for closure. Work on yourself for a while and the solution will arrive.

posted January 22, 2005 06:24 PM         

Honestly, the more I think about it, the more I think Christmas really did it. I think his family don't like the sound of me. Probably because I'm still technically married and I'm a foreigner and who knows what other reason someone could find not to like the sounds of me. Oh yeah, his Aunt asked him accusatorially "is she a mooooslim?"... LOL. You have to laugh. The Aunt part is true, but the rest I am just speculating.

I did feel like I had a huge impact on him at first... but I can't help feeling that it's all backfired.

Mamma Mia... you know, he did get to me. Because he promised he would never hurt me. When he sat there telling me all his plans, I couldn't breathe, it t scared me, I was white as a ghost because I never planned or expected to meet anyone so soon after my ex-husband and I was really afriad. I didn't move in to his house because at the time, I imagined waking up next to him every morning and having him treat me the way my ex did (who also promised the me the sun, moon, and stars before we eloped... LITERALLY!) and anyway, I imagined the possibility of putting myself right back in the same bad situation and I felt like I was going to faint/gag... I don't know what. I explained all that to him too! I said I was scared. He said "don't be scared of me, I will never hurt you"... oh yeah right, huh?

And yeah, he is a mommy's boy. I bet he went somewhere for the weekend with his mother!!! I just bet. Somewhere fancy. If not tahoe, then Hawaii. I bet!!!

Natasha... thats all I really want. I don't want to yell and scream. I just want to apologise, not because I did anything wrong, but just because it didn't work out, I want to wish him the best and give him the opportunity to do the same and move on. At this point, I don't think there is any relationship to salvage. I can't be with someone like this. I crave honesty. Honesty doesn't hurt me. If I did something wrong, it doesn't hurt me. I want to be told so I can be a better person. You can't hurt me by being honest, especially if you still love me and forgive me and let me make it right. I can't be with someone like him. This past month has been unnecessary torture for me.

I tried to go out and have fun with girlfriends and get him out of my head. But as soon as I get home, I start staring at the phone and crying and I get knots in my stomach.

I don't really want him back. I just find his cruel indifference unbearable. I already knew he was such a secretive person, an enigma to most around him, even about silly things (like... no one except one or two ppl he works with know he is a musician or that he paints.. honestly... hes secretive about... EVERYTHING... Scorpio rising)... but he's told me so many things he swears no one else in the world knows... so I am or was special to him. I just don't understand how he can treat me like this as a friend. I'm just stunned still.

And yes, I know I dumped him, but really, I waited a whole day for him to return my phone call and he didn't, so I told him not to bother and have a nice life. I was furious. But this is ridiculous now. He is so cruel.

Also, our synastry chart... we have a lot of tight aspects within 1 degree... my mars is a 4 aquarius and his venus is at 4 aries and my sun is also at 5 aquarius and jupiter is at 3 leo... so many planets hitting his venus...

posted January 23, 2005 09:37 PM         

Just say it how it is, and don't be too emotional, then wait and see what happens..

It's basically your pride right now because he was so obsessed and in love with you, and you are compelled to think about him, which hurts. He is compelled to think of you too, so his pride is wounding him. Do not let it go on too long.

as life is short,

Take Care, and then when you are together try not to be so serious as it seems you are in a really intense relationship and need to see the big picture for a while, redefine what you want in any relationship.

I have Venus in Aries and this may help as this placement is the most scared of commitment, and I know scary it can be to be on the rollercoaster, so get your security from your friends, and see the Pisces as your friend first, do not expect anything better, but do not let him treat you badly either, just stay neutral until you feel more secure.

BTW I have read your posts before going way back, and you are comfortable in a friendly relationship, not so much intensity, yet here you are in an intense relationship with a Pisces, it seems you need this in your life but you want a friend too. Is it possible that your mate will never be the friend you want? Sometimes we have to settle for a best friend, and a moody mate, we can't have both. Be sure to keep your support system at all times.

Be sure to embrace the abyss, do not try and fix it. Meaning, a man is like an abyss, it never ends, but you have to give up on changing him, and accept him the way he is, unstable and never perfect or fixable by you or anyone. In fact he will never make you happy all the time, and cause you to be afraid, but we are all uknowns.

When you are afraid, embrace the fear, and do not let it harm you. The fear, is always there, we can't get rid of it, even with your faith and courage. Accept yourself, and be patient with yourself. You are afraid sometimes, but you have faith and a purpose in life. The pisces is part of that purpose but he is not the destination. You are equals fighting the same battle struggling to stay on level ground. Do not fight each other, because your purpose is greater than that.

Without faith in yourself, you are bound up in your fear and pride, and you can't accept or give love, thinking you don't deserve it. Why accept the Pisces as gone when you still can give a level of love that is comfortable for you? And accept? Do not be so quick to be so hard on yourself, you are loving and loved by everyone.

BTW I too was in a controlling relationship before, and then in an unstable one later, why? it's not me attracting a certain type, it's just part of what I need to learn to define my ideal mate. My theory is that Venus in Aries is friends first because it is looking for an ideal, long term mate, someone to have faith in. All the men you meet are part of that ideal man, do not discount anything because you picked these men. Have faith in your choices, and you have faith in yourself.

You may not know if you want the Pisces or not, but make the phone call and that way you have given love and if it ends you ended it with love. That's for you.

posted January 26, 2005 01:08 AM         

He's ****** off. Don't lead him on even with a frienship. You aquarians do that alot.

*sighs I need to get myself a cancer or taurus

------------------
~*~ Cusp: Gemini/Cancer, Cancer rising, Taurus moon ~*~

posted January 27, 2005 12:21 AM         

Any news?

Hey, I have Uranus (Libra/10th) trine Sun(Taurus/6th) and I have been known to do some very Aquarian things in my life. Still I loved each and every one of those men in my life, even the Pisces and Geminis. And I am always a friend in need,

Love is always about sacrifice, or wanting to be needed. It's not a bond that can be depended on, unless it lasts for years. Faith is necessary to make Love a healthy part of life. Aqua girl either wants to be needed or give of herself, and that is the best love you can offer. It's a start.

Yes Taurus is great, but we are so slow moving in love, you basically have to provoke us.

posted February 20, 2005 07:33 AM         

Sorry, I've been away, like literally, out of town and what not.. and yeah... things have somewhat sorted themselves out with the G-Man, but they certainly aren't back to what they were. Thanks for asking and helping me, I really appreciate it. I was a total mess for pretty much all of January because of this

Anyway... we finally started talking again earlier this month. It turns out his issues with confrontation are much worse than I thought. He just couldn't deal with it. And then he went to LA to stay with his sister for a minute. He also said that he did get my messages, but he was too upset and he does not want to be my friend. He saus he has enough friends and we can't be friends, it's all or nothing. And in my messages, see... I thought he was trying to blow me off cause he didn't have the nerve to dump me, so I thought he didn't want to be with me. I kept blathering on about being friends and not hating him or being mad, and it probably made things worse because he's thinking I'm dumping him again and feeding him the friends line, lol. But I was just trying to get him to talk to me, trying to sound reasonable and whatever. I don't really want to be just his friend either!

Also, after he got back from LA, and got my messages, he thought he had screwed things up beyond repair... so then he thought I hated him because he had, in effect given me the silent treatment. So because he's a bit of a chicken in regards to confrontation and I think he has issues with women screaming at him.... lol... he seems to want to avoid that at all costs... if he thinks for any reason that you may scream at him, he will avoid you to death... I've learnt this much, lol. Yes, it's a problem, but it's funny. So... he just left things alone at that point.

If it wasn't for me, we'd never have talked again, and I pointed out how stupid that is, since he's apparently been brooding and melancholy the whole time... he has to talk to me. I'm not crazy. I never screamed at him. I used to scream at my husband because he'd purposely push all my buttons and get me into a state of hysterics... and that isn't who I am and that's why I left him. I told him... you have to talk to me. you have to talk to me. You have to talk to me. I'm reasonable, but I'm not a mind reader. I can't magically figure out what your deal is. I end up making assumptions and read books like "he's just not that into you" and then dump you because I think you're blowing me off!

Men! I swear!

He's also upset because of my (ex?) husband... he's like... "I can't put a lot more into this until you are divorced" and I understand that. My husband sent me some very extravagant gifts for Christmas and I talk to him a lot because I'm still his best friend (damn Aquarians!) and he's in Iraq and I can't leave him by himself with just his crazy family to talk to and so that he gets care packages from strangers like no one gives a crap about him, you know? But he did send me a very fancy watch and an ipod for Christmas and G got upset, because he thinks maybe I'll go back? I don't know. I'm not going to go back, I've been very clear on that and absolutely honest about what is going on with my almost ex-husband, but I understand that he's apprehensive, I would be too.

He also said he's deathly afriad of getting hurt by me. I think he feels very vulnerable. He's turning 30 next week, but really... this is his first involved emotional relationship... everything else has been very superficial. I remember how I felt geting involved emotionally for the first time... it is very scary... and this is the first time G has made himself vulnerable, I know that from what he's told me... He does not make himself vulnerable... like, not ever. Until now.

But anyway... we are cool now. Cool... as in... everything is good between is, but cool too like, we've put the brakes on. I told him to please talk to me next time, because I'm thinking he's just not that into me or whatever and trying to blow me off and he's thinking I'm not being honest about my almost ex-husband because I'm getting all these gifts and then he thinks I just want to be friends, I think he doesn't want to know me... It was such a mess... but I am very happy with how things stand right now.

Atlantic Myst... geeez thanks for your sympathetic, sweet comments in response to my crisis. I'll be sure to return in kind when you have a problem you'd like to share.

posted February 26, 2005 02:38 PM         

Relationships have ended for me because of a stupid gift from an ex that I didn't really want anyway, and they were usually air signs. The Aqua I know has three ex wives and talks to all of them, and you bet none have remarried. So I am really glad for you, at least he didn't start up with someone else.

Relationships are a symbiotic thing, it feels like dependency after a while, and it's scary, you have to have one though otherwise you go crazy with someone to blame, so we get into a relationship and pick on the other. Sort of like couples get too close, the husband and wife, always arguing can be cute, or not depending on how much they really hate needing each other.

Best thing is for him to accept that you need someone to hold and take care, not just love.

posted February 27, 2005 01:27 AM         

I guess it did work out well, but I'm just feeling a little weird about the "space" between us we have going on right now. The only reason I'm not freaking out about it, is that whenever I directly ask him how he feels, or whenever I'm doubting how he really feels about me, he'll do or say something really lovely that gives me butterflies and completely reassures me. He can be very tender, when he lets his guard down, which isn't very often.

I guess I sort of understand about how weird it would be to have your girlfriend/boyfriend recieving extravagant gifts from their ex. The other problem with this that I haven't mentioned, is that my ex-husband has no clue about my relationship with G. G knows this, I have been 100% honest with him about everything. But I haven't told my ex-husband because I just want to avoid all conflict with him. I don't want to hear what he has to say. I feel sick to my stomach at the thought of fighting with him again... and not because I want to preserve our friendship, but just because he's IMPOSSIBLE... and I can imagine the twisting of things and illogical arguments and idiocy I will be subjected to... But I think the fact that my ex doesn't know and he's sending me gifts ****** G off. I can see why, but... I dunno. I guess I'm being weak. I just feel like I'm done fighting with the ex and I can't do it anymore and I don't owe him honesty or explanations of my life... If that makes sense... but for various reasons I do feel like I owe him my support while he's in Iraq.

But, believe it or not, I did tell the ex NO NO NO NO NO... DON'T BUY ME ANYTHING... I DON'T WANT THE WATCH OR THE IPOD... NOOOO... but he insisted, he was like, I already ordered the ipod! It has your name engraved on it, so you have to take it and I'm getting youthe watch, why can't I buy you a watch? You're getting the watch. I think he just feels guilty and he's hoping it'll get him back in good graces so he can try to stay married to me when he gets back. But that is NOT happening, G or no G. Things with the husband romantically have run their course.

He's coming home for 2 weeks (to stay with his parents!) in May, and I'm planning to tell him then, about G, that is.

But as I was saying in another thread... I think I persisted in communicating... because I'm starting to think G is my soulmate. The more I study our charts and the energy I feel between us I am sure of it. And I started discovering all of this in our charts only after we broke up, so I felt the universe was trying to tell me something.

posted March 02, 2005 12:56 AM         

he cried and yelled but I didn't budge, I also refused gifts, many many gifts. You could have always returned to sender, G's feelings are more significant than a watch to him..so it's about respect for his feelings, if a man I was with got a gift from his ex g/f or wife and he refused to tell her he was dating someone new I would be livid and get rid of him in an instant.
My last b/f (more air) didn't want me to visit his house because he was afraid his ex would see my car, Iand he lost me after that. In the middle of that was an Aqua/Libra.

So, it's a play that you choose, but you have to decide is it worth losing G, to get a few gifts and keep the peace? You can't say you must play, nobody else but you can stop, and you can't ask G to play along because it makes him feel he is in the relationship with you and the ex..and baby makes three!

I can see where he is coming from, my Cancer/8th house moon makes me moody that way about moms, ex's, etc...G can't be the sucker forever, and believe me it's not reality but it's simmering below the surface all the time.

I know your heart is in the right place because i did the same thing, but not for long, after all life is timing right?

And my ex tried the guilt thing for years...I mean years, he never gave up, never gives up, once trained, always trained.

Keep your focus on you and your life,
as a veteran of Libra/Aqua/Gemini men, I can say it's the hardest thing to do, don't ever set up a non air person up for competition, he can never win. Air men have the competition thing down pat. Your ex is sending those gifts to continue, or start a relationship with you, that's really pushing your limits. How can you be in a relationship with a Pisces if you are letting another man walk all over you that way? Your Pisces will feel tested, loyalty will suffer, I wouldn't want an angry Pisces around!