posted February 24, 2005 09:50 AM         

For knocking some sense into me about posting my email. Sometimes I post my email on other boards and don't get into any trouble. But I'm sure your right about the consequences(?)Yeah anyway, with neptune conjunct someone elses north node does that indicate soulmates, too just like the venus/pluto connection?

Pam

posted February 24, 2005 05:03 PM         

Here is a link that is interesting-I will look for more later! Hope it helps some!

The node links are important in synastry...lots of past life kharma I believe!

posted February 25, 2005 09:13 AM         

Thanks for the link If you find anymore relating to the nodes and chiron, I would very much appreciate that.

Anyway, my chiron forms a trine with my mans sun. Does that indicate a strong happy marriage?

Plus, his venus forms a sextile with my 12th house. Whats does that also indicate?

One more thing, my venus forms a sextile with my north node making an conjunction with his neptune. Whats does that mean?? Hope it's a great link

Thanks again. Take care too

Pam

posted February 25, 2005 02:47 PM         

I´m counting the days to go and see him... Sometimes, especially after talking to my best friend (this Aries I keep mentioning) I get so scared that I´m close to desist... She has been my friend for 14 years and I still get the feeling that I cannot understand what goes through an Arian mind... They are so impulsive, so unpredictable... So energetic that scare me... They trample on you without realising... There is no middle ground...

She was very enthusiastic about it. She always has liked him passionately... But she also says the most likely is he will like to see me and end of the story. Nothing else will happen. So I´m bound to get very disappointed... So I wonder, what is actually the point of all this?

But there is something at the back of my mind... I sense something... All those dreams, they could be a sign... A palm reader told me I would get the man I always wanted after a very disastrous relationship with a man who would treat me like a princess to get what he wanted to fail me afterwards, ended... That relationship ended in November... I wonder if he is “the man I always wanted”...

posted February 25, 2005 03:18 PM         

When I met him, we formed an instant bond; it feel wonderful because i felt like he really "got" me, and clued in to "who I am", my 'essence' right away. He was the one who decided right away that he had to pursue this further, while I was happily clueless about my own feelings, thinking of him as an awesome "best friend" (since he's 2 years younger, I never considered us romantically at the time; besides i had issues lingering with that Scorpio i've mentioned in another thread). So, I guess he was the first to recognize our connection. It is my Venus & his South Node; and we know that Venus is the planet that describes how you attract someone (while Mars takes the more active role; incidentally his Mars conjuncts my Venus too). Do you think your Arian love recognized your connection right away too? See, with me, it was a subconscious awakening, and having him work so determinedly on getting closer to me, and then, our shared experiences, are what made it a more conscious one.

Since I decided to give in to that feeling, I've found that romantically, it's felt very familiar. He knows JUST what to say to me, and how to make me melt, even if i'd been upset at him for something! Our friends have remarked that we seem to be a perfect fit, emotionally & spiritually very compatible. So, I guess that's what that Venus-South Node does - brings soul-based memories of your love from a previous life. It's like starting on the 200th date! Did it feel that way for you too?

Wow, so that's what the MC represents - the qualities you admire & aspire to. And our MCs conjunct each other's North Nodes! That's sweet!! *swooning*

CharmedForever, I'm pretty much a newbie too, though I have a few links for you. Read more about Chiron here: http://www.astrology-numerology.com/chiron.html - This article has a couple useful links at the bottom.
Here's more on Nodal aspects: http://www.fatewatch.com/love/lunar.htm
And some more on Timing & the Moon's Nodes: http://celestteal.bizland.com/moon_nodes.htm
And, finally, this site has more on a Chiron-Sun aspect. Though this one is about
the conjunction, I think it'll give a good overall idea of what that aspect brings
to a relationship; it appears that the sextiles & trines have all the good of a
conjunction, though they're weaker, and a lot fewer of the negatives. See: http://www.astrologynow.com/carolwillis/Synastry.txt
Maybe someone else out there will be able to help with the specifics.

posted February 25, 2005 03:38 PM         

Pam

posted February 25, 2005 03:42 PM         

Please, don't give up just yet about how things will go for your man. Your friend may have interpreted things differently about him when she saw him. I wish you all the luck that you deserve. Therefore, all you can do is think positive. Believe me, things will work out to your own advantage if you trust yourself and not let others talk to you differently. Take care

Pam

posted March 04, 2005 07:15 PM         

Sorry for being missing for a week or so... I just got a job and it’s very absorbing... I´m really tired... This is kind of job I really wanted and it came so unexpectedly... I thought it’d help me to build a bit more, just the last little bit, my battered self-confidence... This is my first week, so I’m feeling very anxious and a bit insecure... I hope it’ll go better...

I’ve decided I’ll go and visit the 21st of March... But now I don’t really know how I feel about it. It has been a long time (more than a week) without dreaming with him... I could be blocked due to the anxiety caused by the job, I don´t know... Maybe he stopped calling me... I’m feeling too confused and vulnerable... Lots of new people, a new environment to fit in and the fact that I need to prove myself constantly...

This has turned my life upside-down. I’m too exausted to think clearly. I can’t take more pressure. I feel off touch with him. The idea of trying something together now seems somehow distant and silly...

posted March 04, 2005 07:37 PM         

I was curious about Vedic Astrology and never found anything that made sense to me before...

Apparently I’m a Male Monkey and he is a Female Monkey, which means we have a good compatibility (class B)...

posted March 26, 2005 02:34 AM         

I was thinking of you and wondering if you'd ever met your aries man...

How is everything going? Have you had a change of heart?

Hope things are going well with your new job...

posted March 28, 2005 02:36 PM         

I know I haven’t been around... Last week I had trouble with the Internet (a major virus hijack) and then I went away for Easter...

Yes... I did meet with him... I’ll give you the details over the weekend, I don’t have much time during the week...

posted March 28, 2005 03:48 PM         

I thought of you and your love. Therefore, I hope things went out smoothly for you and him. Keep us posted

posted April 03, 2005 11:19 AM         

At last I have been able to scrap a few minutes to put together a few lines... Yes, I did go to see him... And now, the most time that passes, the most unreal all seems to be...

I was so nervous... I was anxious for days... I planned every detail of what I’ll wear... Not to be too overdone, to look natural and nice...

He works in a shop, a family business... I didn’t even know if I would remember how to get there, I just passed by a couple of times being a teenager in love... I felt the same way, step by step, approaching the place... I just prayed for him to be there... It was 15 minutes early but I thought the golden rectangle would be already there, up in the sky... I couldn’t wait a second more...

He saw me through the glass window, several meters away, and recognised me instantly... However, even knowing it was him, I hardly could... I walked in... There was nobody else in the shop, so he approached me coming from behind the counter...

Reality hit me really hard... He has changed so much... I couldn’t belive what I was seeing... He looked 10 years older than he is, he is really thin now and his once perfect white smile was covered of tobacco stains... It was tough to try and recognise that young boy who was a god to me in that man. I couldn’t help looking at the sceene from outside and feeling sad. So sad... I wanted to give him a gift but I felt I was only materialising his worst nightmare... Because I looked so wonderful, because I was that poor girl so long ignored, who kissed the ground he walked on... And he looked so punished... so wasted...

Conversation flew easily and we laughed a lot... He made me laugh... I felt like a princess... I couldn’t believe how powerful I felt, how strong and confident towards him. He was so shocked... “You are such a woman now...”, he kept repeating all the time... looking at me almost in awe... I was so wrong... I never disappointed him, it felt like I had become what he always knew I would...

For a while I doubted if giving him my mobile. Did I want to be in touch, to offer an opportunity to such a man? I saw a skeleton and got terrified... I thought he has wasted the last 8 years of his life while I was growing... For God sake, that boy didn’t need to fight, didn’t need to struggle through life... He was so special, so perfect... Everybody loved him... He was noble, good-looking, clever, sweet... He loved sports, was a healthy boy... He was a winner!!! How the hell did he put himself to waste in such a way? I felt so sorry... I thought he couldn’t offer me anything...

But then, suddenly, I focused on his eyes... The same old beautiful loving eyes I remember... With a depth they never had before... And I got shaken... Then I reconnected with the real him... I recognised him...

After talking about easy subjects like Easter holidays, work, my time in the UK... he went straight for what he really wanted to know... If I was with someone... I said I was on my own at the moment... It was almost uneasy when he started interrogating me about past boyfriends... I did say I recently broke up with someone in England. He was deeply striken, his eyes showed deep pain badly disguished... He wanted all the details... Half joking, treating it like a gossip... What he really was asking was how important that man was or had been for me, if I still missed him, how much I had loved him... I made clear it was over now and I was OK about it...

He told me he hadn’t had a girlfriend in 5 years, and that was before I went abroad (He knew exactly how long I had been away, what surprised me because he never was very good remembering dates). And the last contact he had with a woman was more than a year ago and only lasted a month... And he didn’t remember how long he had been without sex... I had the stupid impression of what he was saying was he had been waiting for me, that there had been no other woman...

At the end I gave him my mobile for him to ring me if one day he fancied to have a coffee with me or whatever... He texted me a week later saying thank you for remembering him and going to visit. I replied and that was all. That was a week ago... I don’t know... I confess I thought he would ring me this weekend...

I don’t even know what I want... To be fair, if I was him, I probably wouldn’t even have texted. He must feel so disheartened. I would if I was him.

posted April 06, 2005 12:34 AM         

Just writing in to lend my support ; it must have been hard to see such changes. It sounds like he has definitely thought of you, and would be lucky to get a chance with you, but perhaps isn't sure he will get it. It's up to you now. Do you choose to give it a shot, or would you prefer to explore other options? All up to you, dear Steelrose!

posted April 06, 2005 05:23 PM         

Glad that you finally had the chance to meet up with him. I'm sure too that he was thinking of you for the past couple ofyears. But just wait and see..don't dwell or look into these changes or whatever occurred too much. Just think about yourself first and see what God has in store for you...and him. Thats my opinion. Talk to you later. Hang in there..I'm doing it myself at my own end.

posted April 09, 2005 08:52 AM         

Thank you very much for your words and support Yes, I do think he has thought of me all this time... Re-reading some passages of my diaries, I see things in a different light now... I was so hurt then that I couldn’t see that he probably liked me more that I never believed...

I always thought he was taking the mickey, that he was just pretending he liked me because he loved the feeling of being adored, that he was laughing at my weakness for him... Maybe not... Maybe he just was inmature enough not to go for it...

He texted me again last Sunday... He is doing this to keep in touch, I’m sure... He waits exactly one week and text me at the same hour... I go all fluffy inside when I get them, I must accept... but then the sensation fades away slowly and by the following weekend I start to think that this is going nowhere... That I’m not wasting my time again...

What is he doing? I suppose he’s ensuring he is not spoiling it this time by rushing it... or testing the ground like you say, because he is not sure he will get any chance now... I bet his heart is battered... he has been waiting for the fairy tale princess, the image of what I was... but after all I may not be... Maybe he simply can’t believe I came back for him when he had considered me lost for ever... It may look too good to be true... I don’t really know...

But I’d like to give it a shot... It may not work, we may realise we are not meant for each other and all was a big fantasy... We may have drifted away... But I don’t really know yet. And I want to know... Because I feel we have something pending, because I believe I was bounced back by his presence, maybe by fate... But I can feel that powerful cord and I’m going mad. Something tells me he waited for me all this time... I need to know...

I don’t mind waiting. I enjoy slow conquests... I prefer him not to presurise me, I’m confused enough... But I’m terrified of the torture he used to mean... Of building up hope when I only got a big blow at the end... If I only could believe he wants to try and will fight for it this time...

posted April 13, 2005 04:24 AM         

Perhaps you should call him? Or text him back? Like you said, he may be fearful that you may reject him now, in his current state. Maybe he needs that reassurance from you...

Did you end up seeing/talking to him on his birthday? What came of it?

posted April 13, 2005 09:10 AM         

Sounds like things are going just awesome...let things take their natural course and follow your intuitive guide. TRUST IT.

Living life is important and believing in all that you are and have to give is what keeps a person self-assured. (IE-Be happy with who you are and always try/give your best! Who can expect anything more?)

Nothing great is ever built quickly...taking the time to build anything-whether a friendship, romance, life together, a house for that matter-depends on the quality of what you desire. Quality takes time...just like a good meal...Fast Food vs Five-course Gourmet Dining. There IS a huge difference.

Be patient my dear friend. Things are progressing at a lovely pace. Be a friend to him...with minimal expectations of the outcome. Be YOU and I seriously doubt you will be rejected. Those old thoughts from your past have limited you long enough-do you agree? Once again...please let go of those worries that you will be hurt again by him.

Worry keeps you from Living. We all can be hurt any moment by anyone...that is just part of life. And we live on!!!!

I guess I am just trying to tell you to stop the worrying and stressing...90% of what we worry about never actually happens! (Take it from me-a Cancer Moon-we worry about a lot of things that never come to pass-what wasted energy!! LOL!! )

Take care!

posted April 15, 2005 01:43 PM         

Thanks for your encouragement... It means so much for me in these times of confusion...

Gemmy, where have you been? I have missed you around here... Your words are always so wise...

Well, Artsy, I did call him... Sometimes I wonder where I find the courage to do these things and I also admire that nerve that gets around my panic...

The only thought of doing it drove me crazy the whole Saturday... Just thinking about it paralised me... The word for it was terror... I knew I had to do it, it would make a big difference... It was the sign he was waiting for, I needed to reassure him a little bit... But the thought of exposing my feelings made me frentic... I had never got the strength to ring him before, not in the 17 years I’ve known him... I doubt he knew I remembered his birthday, not even thought that I even knew the day it was... I’m sure he doesn’t know mine... So doing that was a clear sign of interest, of having kept his memory and carried it from the past... It was a green light... And I needed to call, an sms wasn’t enough... It was my test...

I didn’t sleep all night. I even had a bad tummy ache the whole day, from Saturday until I rang him at midday on Sunday. It was even worse that going and visiting... I hate phoning when I’m not confident because I miss the body language... It feels like looking at something with one eye closed...

So I rang... My heart raced inside my chest. I thought I wouldn’t be able to articulate a word... And he wasn’t answering... I held on until the signal stopped... I thought he didn’t want to talk to me, I felt so powerless... But my call was already registered on his phone so I’d ring again... “Don`t look too anxious, wait 10 minutes...” I didn’t need to... He instantly rang me back...

He pretended to be calm but he wasn’t... “You rang me...” “Oh, yes... It was just to say happy birthday...” He was so surprised that he lost his voice for a split second... I knew through the melting tone of his voice that he was touched, overwhelmed... He never expected that in his wildest dream... I didn’t know what to say from then onwards but then it wasn’t difficult at all... He engaged me in conversation...

When I mentioned I had gone to a company party he again went nosey about my possible love interests and flirts within the office and I, again, assured there was nothing of that...

He even asked if his sms’s bothered me and I quickly said I love to get them... And he flattered me again saying how nicely I look and how intelligent I always have been... I think it was true, not just empty flattery. We chatted about nothing and everything at the same time and he ended up saying that he would ring me one of these days to go out for a drink after work...

He hasn’t done yet... Do you think he will? I’m so excited, so nervous, so confused, so frustrated sometimes... What is going on?

posted April 15, 2005 03:41 PM         

I think that he'll contact you at anytime. I have this feeling that he is nervous as much as you about things. Just give him time...I'm sure things will fall into the right place and time.

posted April 15, 2005 04:54 PM         

I agree with Pam that he sounds a bit nervous as well. We like that!!

Continue to stay 'open' and keep your expectations minimal...that helps balace the emotional stresses somewhat. (Ex, try not to have a 'time expectation' for when he will ask you out for a drink...no rush-remember?) Be excited and hopeful yet not to the point it is wearing your emergy levels thin...you have a life...!!

Encouraging him at his point is a great idea I feel...he wants to know you are 'safe' and non-judgmental towards him. Let the friendship develop and build from there...I think all will be fine for you!!

Take care-off for the weekend!