posted May 21, 2005 04:02 PM         

i do think ur *cute* with ur sullen looks about u. hehehe . i like people who dont seem perky. i am perky and hate it!

posted May 23, 2005 12:41 AM         

Good to know ure a no. 9 too. Always have had an affinity with them except for in this case maybe.

Thanks for your suggestions. Beleive me, i would have done that except that we 'never' went out together prior to this (ok he hinted it and we 'might' have but fate took over before)and if i do 'ask him out' literally, i would be putting myself up for some severe heartbreak, probably. Moreover, ive never been the 'first move' maker. But yeah, i thought abt what u said abt us having problems and then me trying to sort it out in public.....yup, not very reconciliatory is it? In fact, when i did ask him abt any probs he had with me , he just looked up and gave me a very sharp look and said ' What problems?'. I was so embarrassed that i pointed to my friend and said 'ask her'!!!Silly....but he cld have taken the hint?

posted May 23, 2005 12:43 AM         

cont.d...

Anyways, and yeah maybe its a case of 'Not liking too much when he was interested and now hes moved on i realise ive missed out'. But in my defense i say that i was just being very very 'CAUTIOUS'. I mean there r all kinds of game players in the world and i didnt even know him v well!All i knew was he was all over the place in probably the 5th or 6th meeting!!And he was making it all v public actually. I mean the flirting, the staring, the public declarations etc etc. It was thoroughly embarrassing, flattering and v v destabilising!And then all that flirting, how did i know he was ever serious? Ok, i admit there were times when he looked that way, sounded that way, acted that way but he never told me as i said. Ok, thats over and done with anyways.

Yeah maybe he has found other hobbies. Good for him cos i really didnt like his mopy face. Its just that i see him every day at my workplace and if my reading is anything, dosent look like he's over it yet....and nor am i. Maybe iam just disillusioned cos i like him but dosent seem like it.

Just a week or so back i remember, i was wearing white (His fave color as he told me once...cancer the moon and the color white!Im amazed!). Well, i remember gathering together with friends at coffee and his grp was very nearby and i was standing v close to him. I saw him looking at me and then just swing away, as if disgusted, to another group, at the far end of the room. And then he just stood staring.... It was v direct, v serious and very meaningful and i was at a loss. It was so weird.....so if hes gotten over it, why the 'EXTREME' reactions? I mean, ok, ppl lose interest all the time but they dont react so extremely?Maybe im reading too much in between the lines.

posted May 23, 2005 12:45 AM         

....And i still cant figure out why he came sat with my friends and me at our table? I mean the next 4 days he saw me coming and turned back and wandered away. His friends were so puzzled and were calling him but this guy just......I mean, what????????I have the feeling he's counting each and every response of mine which is terrible cos i dont know how to react since he hasnt told me anything.sigh.....

And no, we never got that close that i cld discuss my previous guy.

Yeah, if its meant to be it will be and im content with it since ive done everything i cld.

Pixelpixie, thanks for those words. Its a bit of light in the dark actually and i really needed them.

I have my saturn in the seventh house in cancer so maybe i do actually act like a crab and i gs ure right on dot maybe abt both of us. I think maybe all these problems cld be becuase of extreme sensitivity which all water signs are prone to. It wld be really sad if this didnt work cos then it wld prove true the negativity of the water element.But im keeping my fingers crossed and with all u wonderful sweet knowflakes helping me, i already feel better!

Is someone 'intuitive' here? Ide love to hear what they 'feel' abt this whole scene.?

And that said and done ide just like to relate that there were some very soul satisfying and sweet moments with cancer before fate gave a twist.

I remember when i was just sitting there watching a tournament and he was all active playing and suddenly i find him sitting beside me. We were relatively new to each other and all i knew was that he teased me mercilessly and there he was sitting so quietly and seriously, beside me and i was curious. But he didnt say a word and we just sat there for abt 10 whole minutes without saying a word and frankly i didnt feel the need to. It was such a lovely sweet, sensitive gesture and so very vulnerable. I thought that if i were to move i wld hurt him and if he were to move he wld hurt me....so we just sat there....and it was like....beautiful!My friends came over later and so we split but wow!And he did that quite a bit and i used to always be confused as to what he really meant?Shld i talk, shld he, shldnt we?

But whatever it was, was a sweet memory alright.

He remembered my bday, complimented me everyday, helped me out at work, visited our extra curricular group for me, made me the centre of attention and it didnt matter who was sitting there, wanted his snaps clicked with me, stood up to greet me whenever i visited his side, waited for me to come out for coffee every day so we could talk......he did EVERYTHING....but the one thing i wanted. He could have said it.

Like i said ill need all the luck getting over this guy.A late realisation but nevertheless we all learn from our mistakes. Wish he cld just forgive and forget so we cold at least just be friends.We had started out so well together....

posted May 23, 2005 09:11 AM         

By the one thing, i mean that he never verbally said he liked me or loved me whatever....

And the look he gave was 'peircing'. Im not so great at body language reading but all i know is i was embarrassed by it,enough to look away.

Saw him today after abt a week and well frankly im kinda getting over it. After a long while it seemed like he was looking at me directly and pointedly but it was too 'Embarrassing' somehow so i didnt look back. If my reading is anything, he just looks really, really, really serious (as in not abt me but in general). Very grim...

posted May 26, 2005 03:59 AM         

WE'RE FRIENDS AGAIN!!!!

Cant beleive it happened!!!All i know is today again, he was sitting with my friends and well, looked at me and we started off. We were both shy i think since we havent chatted for like 4 months but....hehe...i think at least, we're friends.

Oh and he asked me if i had a boyfriend....uh?!I dont wanna see too much in between the lines but....nice question to ask when we just patched up.

Anyways, guys THANKS A MILLION for ur support here. I think u really helped and had it not been for u i wouldnt have gone and asked him the prob.....seems like he got it.

posted May 26, 2005 09:21 AM         

So gosh....i was so perky and happy and i just talked my head off and he was just smiling a lot and listening and not saying much and well, SO SWEET!

Met him later, ws waiting at coffee, but we couldnt say much cos we were SO EMBARRASSED!!!And then i didnt wait cos ws busy.

I wonder whats this thing with the embarrassment!I dont understand whether this is love or is it friendship or well just being awkward bcos we havent talked for so long???

And im getting all suspicious like the virgo moon iam. I mean what if hes playing mind games??Does he really want friendship? How come he hated me a week back and now hes talking?

Or just maybe i should relax and enjoy this....?

posted May 27, 2005 12:32 AM         

Thanks for the reassurance. Seriously, noone should have a virgo moon. They spoil everything with the suspiscion.

I gave a lil hint when we were talking....abt me getting along well with all no. 9's.

But my FRIENDS spoilt it!!!I mean i remember he asked me abt me having a BF and i made a face and said no. And then these guys started teasing me saying 'Oh she likes to think in plural, as in boyfriend/s'!!!ugh!!He just smiled and continued eating but i batted their jokes down. I mean talk abt joking at the wrong moment!

Anyways, im just still wondering. Hes really Shy isnt he? And hell, iam too but my sag ascendant makes me come across larger than life. As in really confident, talkative, humorous and a glib talker. But it hides my basic insecurity and shyness and seriousness which my virgo moon gives me.

Gosh....i dont wanna assume too much but could he actually be really liking me?!!!!

Or maybe ill wait and watch.

Thanks Pixie!

posted May 28, 2005 04:07 AM         

and thanks.

Yeah after a long while it seems like things r going ok.

I still dont know what route this takes but boy, it feels fine and peaceful and good cos i know i rectified my mistake. That was the crux of my problem actually. I had to resolve it cos i know i did something wrong and well, even if we can just be acquaintances now, it should be ok....

I do however, have an entirely different intuition abt this but really, who knows. Im just being in the moment and trying to get myself to stay on the ground.

I mean like its progress but noone knows progress towards what and i dont want to jump to any conclusions yet.

Very soon, i will know whether i will stick here in my job or change. Ill definately take the change and with a good feeling maybe.

Wooh!But this is someone i will remember, oh yes.

posted May 28, 2005 08:40 AM         

I know what you mean... And I have mine in the 8th house

But if he's a cancer like me, He probably wanted to reconcile just as much as you did. Holding grudges against the ones we care about can be emotionally exhausting for us, and sometimes we just get tired.

posted May 30, 2005 07:32 AM         

Call it my virgo moon or whatever. Still going around being shy.....or is it that he's not even interested? Or am i hurrying too much?

Theyve got a real pretty gal who's joined their team and well, iam SO insecure!I think im not wrong to be. I mean he cld come on as strong as he did to me to her as well and well, hes NEVER told me he likes me so how can i be sure? Ill never ever be sure unless he tells me.....thats it.

I mean we're seeing each other and we're still looking away after all this???Maybe he's really lost interest and thats why dosent hold a grudge anymore so its ok by him to be casual friends?? I dont know....basically quite low and confused and hurt!

posted May 30, 2005 12:59 PM         

Needed that. Well, i just let myself slip for a moment there. Maybe cos ive been 'Expecting' something from him and that just wont do.

Yeah, deep breath.....im ok. Relaxed and thinking of my 'Soul mate'. Hes the only one who ever made me feel relaxed.

And if cancer is a genuine person then cancer should take some action. Otherwise im just being cool. Myself actually. Not overenthusiastic nor negligient.

I did look at him v directly during lunch break today and he looked right back. Yeah....we understood and he was looking so happy after that but again thats really nothing much.

All i know is that whatever body lang reading im doing for him has taken me right till now. So right now im just going to relax.....and not think abt the new gal in town!ugh!

Anyways, true liking always works out and if it wasnt then theres really no sense beating ur heart up for it, isnt it?

Thanks again all u guys. Youve really made it so much easier. I can just come and put down all my fears here and feel lighter.

Hey Monad what do u think now? And SG?

posted June 06, 2005 12:59 AM         

Another update.....u will have to interpret this i think.

For the past 1 week after we became friends, it has been really awkward like i said. We would meet each other on the way and look away and try to greet but couldnt and i have been going crazy trying to figure out if he was playing games. Bcos after a patch up you generally try being friendly and here was this guy not looking my way? Im actually still wary.

But today.....and this is after 4 and 1/2 whole months he actually 'Teased/complimented' me!I mean this was the way we were initially. He wld always compliment me on the way i looked and then start teasing and kidding with me and it didnt matter who was there. And so today we were all in the coffee room and i greeted him, he greeted me back and then he says ' Whats up youre looking really different today?'And then he describes why and well, we basically kidded around and went away with a smile on the face.

I dont know....but maybe he's coming out of his shell?!But dont wanna see too much in between the lines here.

posted June 06, 2005 03:11 AM         

this is a Cancerian afterall....the men have mood swings as much as the women...they cant make up their friggin minds, which is very different from 'making up' ur heart. The heart is always clear, the brain is always foggy,

And this is a classic case of what this guy is going through. You might also be going through it because you are so sensitive to his moods...but remember NOT to be swept away by his every fluctuation. You can't otherwise this will NOT work. Cancers need a rock, a stabilizing force...if you can't be that then ....you HAVE to learn.

Let his ebb and flow continue. Be your own strong person. Your strength will be what attracts him...one reason that Cancer men are so magnetically attracted to Taurean women is their rock steady strength and dependability, even when the Cancerian gets crazy...

He is at the peak of his cycle, with the smiles and happiness. He knows he likes you but emotion touches him in ways it doesnt touch other people so he is extremely sensitive to his own hearts latest afflictions....he will go down and up again. Its nothing to wonder about, welcome to his world

posted June 07, 2005 07:43 AM         

Well i do wear a lot of pastels so that should be fine but smiling when we feel so awkward...

SG the world of cancerians is indeed strange and a virgo moon can hardly comprehend. But iam listening to what you say and it makes sense. What i wanted to know was that is the mind cloudy cos he cant decide whether he likes me or he cant decide whether he should take this step? What could he be unsure about i wonder? And to be absolutely respectful and frank to myself as a person, the decision isnt his alone. When your heart says Yes your mind generally never listens!!!Cos the force of love is so strong and thats why its called love....

Ive never understood why people have to 'Decide' abt whether they love someone bcos if you do, u just do and if u have to decide then you dont love that person. Its always like that with me, never grey always black and white.

Anyways, will just wait and watch. My only apprehension is that anytime we will lose out on time, either me or he will quit and then all this time we could have spent together was just wasted in cold wars and ego.

Oh well....

Thanks guys for all your help.

posted June 08, 2005 07:03 AM         

Another lil update and now my minds turned kind of majorly negative and terribly suspiscious...

Ok, last he was trying to talk tome like before and now he is BEING around. As in well, visting the places where i frequent so we can come across each other etc.

But....in between he does a dissapearing act and i becme terribly suspiscious again.

Seriously.....dosent anyone here think that he might just be playing mind games?? I mean like i said there hasnt been anything said and since he knows that i do care hes taking advantage of it by giving me these hints to buoy me and basically he dosent care???

I felt that today cos thats where its leading and i really need you guys to tell me whether to get out NOW. I just cant stand people who play mind games and being a no. 9 its irks me even more.

Oh and he's taking a LOT of calls on his cellphone.........which generally suggests something else.

Whats your take on this guys? I m very much at peace and so i can analyse this objectively but i need someone to tell me whether im being overly suspiscious or just plain correct.

Is that how a person would normally react if he likes you???

Love
Sarah