posted May 31, 2005 06:12 PM         

our relationship is very pre-ordained, in both of our eyes, yet it has never been physically consummated. It seems like she knows she loves me, but she isn't strong enough to face the world without someone on her arm that can be shown off, because she has mild self-worth issues. im not some monstrosity, but im definetly not a stud.

one time we were laying outside in the dark looking at the sky and almost in tears she said that i am her best friend. it almost seemed like she was sorry that she couldn't go beyond that, but i accept that, because i accept her the strong and the weak aspects.

I sense that her and i will be having another break from one another over the next half year or so. during this time i want to get into rediculously good shape. i have the knowledge to do it properly and i know it will succeed- because i will it to.

Once i was shown my higher-self, and her's for that matter and i can honestly say that my higher self looked alot like a guy she said she would one day marry (though she was kind of joking).

Would She resent me for looking good and fit, as if somehow i revealed a weakness to herself as to why she couldn't have physically loved me before? Would she become rediculously jealous and fearful of losing me to someone else? Would she understand that i did it for her anyway?

id love to hear some scorpios weigh in on this topic, thx for reading it. if you have other questions about the relationship id love to answer them if needed for furthering a response

posted May 31, 2005 09:55 PM         

Even while I ask, I don't get the feeling that you would be doing so solely to gain her acceptance. I get a feeling that you want to prove a point to yourself, and maybe to her. People always say that like it's a bad thing (*you just want to prove a point*) but I don't think it always is.

I don't know... I have a strong feeling about this for some reason. I'm not psychic or anything (anymore than the next average joe) but some things trigger my intuition more than others do.

How long have you been friends, and how old are the two of you?

I'll be happy to give you my input on your original questions, but I felt the need to discuss these things first.

posted June 01, 2005 02:49 AM         

i am 19 and she is 17. we've known each other for 3 years and have been friends for about a year and a half, in which time the relationship has steadily grown stronger, to the point its at now where it can not grow further until we are one.

i went from an agnostic drug dealer to what i am this very moment, a follower of god, christ and truth. she has a spark, she just doesn't realize its full potential and i think that is what i truly love about her.. what i find so hard to turn away from, her potential.

We got into a fight over the weight a of bag of marijuana actually, and she would not under any circumstances talk to me or acknowledge me. that went on for 5 months.

during that time i went out with a libra girl who had liked me forever but whom i would not reciprocate with (in a cosmic sense, so i could truly separate pan-horus from venus... open my mind to truth and rest my head on her shoulder at night). in addition to that short lived affair i learned and learned more and more "truth", love signs, star signs, all sorts of religious texts and the like. case in point, i changed.

she on the other hand delved extremely deep into pluto's murky waters. she was addicted to cocaine in every sense of the idea. i prayed for her every single day, because all i wanted to do was tell her that even if she never talks to me again i will forever be changed because of her, and for all those who change because of me, its because of her. one night i decided i would rather die and have her be happy then to live. it was the next day i was delivered to christ.

I have a venus in her pluto, and in linda's relationship signs that means we have a tie that cannot be severed- i like that feeling.

i finally was able to let go of the emotional aspect of possibly losing her when i realized "if not in this life, than another, or in death". but now i say i must do more before i put this to rest and thats why i want to present myself to her in the best possible way, spiritually and physically. she's given me sway in many of her decisions thoughts and ideas, but i feel if i could make her eyes see some beautiful i could once and for all make her realize it never had anything to do with her eyes at all.

thats what i want and to be honest ill be doing it no matter what, so atleat ill know i gave her everything i could.... i think she'll know that when she sees it.

maybe i answered my own question, but nonetheless what i just wrote was therapeutic for me . i hope you have more insight or further details or questions