posted July 10, 2005 01:39 AM         

As most of you know I am married and he still lives in this house. I found out that he has been talking to a girl in his home town and that as soon as he divorces me he will wait the 30 days so he can marry her.

He has no job once he leave the Marine Corps. He has lied to me about everything even when I asked him about her. Yes, I know this girl and in school she was called a ***** ....her family has been busted for drugs several times.

I am upset mostly because I have the burden of raising the kids alone and I have had a few interested men over the past few years that I told to "get lost" on account that I was still married and we lived together.

He has been with her for almost a year, flying back to Missouri to be with her telling me he was seeing his mother.

I am really ****** that he is so selfish and that he has no respect for his kids.

Thank you Knowflakes for listening....I am not prone to rants but I needed to vent before I exploded.

posted July 10, 2005 02:21 AM         

jack ass.

Vent away.

posted July 10, 2005 07:54 AM         

I can just imagine how you must be feeling now and the pain you're going through but you will come out the other side a stronger and more beautiful person.

If you can, take comfort in the worst moments that quite frankly, they sound like they deserve each other, and the chances are that as soon as the 'secret affair' turns into the day to day mundanity of ordinary married life, the sheen will very quickly go off that relationship. It might not - she might be 'the one' for him, but it sounds to me like that's not really the part that's hurting you the most. It's the deception - when all the time (if he'd been honest with you) you could have had the chance to explore any one of those men whose interest you'd caught and see where that had taken you.

And I understand it's also the fact that he's left you to raise your children alone. Well aren't those children lucky that they have you!

Cry, scream, rant and punch the wall as much as you need to in order to get through this time. Because this time will pass, and a new, beautiful and positive time will take it's place. I promise you - if you try to embrace change, however negative it feels at the moment, it will embrace you right back and sweep you up into a lovelier situation. Trust in the process of life and in your power to choose for yourself a better situation. And the universe will deliver. It has to... it's the law

Huge love and hugs to you Irish, and courage in fistfulls! You can and will get through this

posted July 10, 2005 09:14 AM         

Sarah-

Thank you, Until I read your message I was unable to cry. I needed the release.

You are right, they deserve each other and I guess that in some strange way it is nice to know that he is stepping down from me instead of up. And you are correct that it is the fact that I needed him to come clean with this and not lie to me.

The kicker is that he still insists on sleeping in my bed...he says that as long as he doesn't touch me that it is fine. I have been telling him that it is abuse and that he needs to leave. So I did the only thing that I thought was fair....I kicked him so hard that the idiot fell out the other side. He has finally decided to sleep in the basement where he belongs!

The kids are lucky to have me....I am told this everyday. Since my daughter is disabled, I take great pride in making sure that her life is always full of love. My son tells me everyday how glad he is to have me as a mother.

I will trust the process...and rant, scream, and cry until it is out of me. As my daughter would say...I need a band-aid cuz I hurt. Does Jack Daniels count as a Band-aid?...lol

posted July 10, 2005 10:04 AM         

I have read your posts here and have often thought you are a wonderful and beautiful spirit. I send some love, courage, and faith with this post. You have a tough road ahead, but you will be equal to the challenge, I can feel it. I too am raising a child alone after making a poor choice of life-partner, and this is something you were born to do! The young spirits who chose you to raise them need a heart like yours -- the sooner The Loser is out of your house, the better! You will meet someone who is worthy of your love, I can feel it. Please come back here and vent anytime you need to, I will be here and so will many caring others.

posted July 10, 2005 03:44 PM         

You will make it through this...and you and your kids will be the better off as you move into new chapters in your life. You will embrace your new freedom...and new people will come into your life when you are ready...

You are still young and beautiful. No need to waste further time with a jerk like him...you have higher aspirations to follow!!

Your children will be fine because you will give them the proper love and support they need.

You will be strong and will be heading on a better Path now...find Peace and hold your head up high!

Hugs to you and Peace...

posted July 11, 2005 04:29 AM         

Don't take responsibility for his choices, it's up to you to forgive or judge, because you have your own life. Luckily now you are free to date whoever you choose, and love someone for yourself.

posted July 12, 2005 10:24 AM         

I am letting it go....he has no power over me.

posted July 12, 2005 12:48 PM         

This is one of those things you've got to let go and trust God that he knows whats best for you.

posted July 24, 2005 11:40 PM         

Things are moving along in a good way. He is with the other woman for 2 weeks which is giving me time to get stuff straight here.

I will give more details later as they are available....thank you for asking.....it is nice to know that someone is thinking about us.