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Topic: Scorpio Woman /Cancer Man
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MoonDuchess88 unregistered
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posted January 07, 2006 10:57 AM
Oh yes agreed, DON'T EVER think you were the problem or that you were being too clingy because you tried your BEST. He's a Taurus mooner and they don't really play games. The moon in taurus is exalted too. What I mean is that if you really were the problem, he would've told you straight up-no qualms. I think for all us earth mooners (especially taurus) it's pretty much black and white. Oh yeah, And I don't think wanting love in our own way is selfish at all, because otherwise everyone is selfish.
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Swerve unregistered
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posted January 07, 2006 12:34 PM
Hi cancerg, actually the point you disagree with me on was a general point, not aimed at Cancers.All people want to be loved in their own way, and the best relationships accomodate this and reciprocate. If one partner insists on the energy being only to their particular liking and ignoring the needed expression by their mate it is one-sided and selfish. That is a universal truth, not about any one sign. I should have been more clear. I think in this case making someone feel needy and clingy was a bit low, especially as I'm sure we could all anticipate this Cancer would have been if the tables had been turned. Seems very unfair on Celtic in my opinion. Hope I didn't offend you inadvertently my friend. Swerve IP: Logged |
sthenri unregistered
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posted January 07, 2006 05:53 PM
Celtic I am sure there is some emotional problem underneath that you can't touch without hurting his pride.One thing I think you have not looked at is his pride. He is very proud of how far he has come, taking care of his girls, avoiding obstacles, rebuilding his life. To give his heart to someone new, is so scary and if he loses he loses everything all over again. Pride is not a good thing after time, but he has to work through it, be ready to lose it. What he said about not wanting to waste your time, etc, that's a copout, he didn't KNOW what to say because he is afraid of losing, and afraid of living a different kind of life where he is possibly put down again. It seems he needs to build his self esteem anyway, and romantic relationships don't help that. Romance is about the other. he didn't know what to say to you, so don't over analzye his words, he is confused and needs to rest his head for a while, but don't believe everything you hear and let it reflect on you. I was involved with a taurus moon, pisces rising for a while and he was so low on himself I thought I was helping. Actually he needed to rebuild his career, and life before he felt good about himself again and didn't know how to say it. Taurus moons I swear do not know how to communicate exactly what they are feeling and get very frustrated. When pushed they start to freak out about themselves. i was dating a cancer/taurus moon this spring and he started interviewing at a higher paying job without telling me because he was so insecure about not making as much money as me. At no point did I care and he ended up breaking it off because I am sure he felt I was not helping him. Even though he went back to teaching, he keeps his distance, because his feelings are not obvious even to him, he is scared of my influence on him. He doesn't know that we were a team and he could have talked to me, trusted me, he felt I was the one to lean on him, trust him but he couldn't fill that role. Very frustrating. Taurus moons are big on life skills first. Take Care Hugs Natasha
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cancerrg Newflake Posts: 0 From: Registered: Sep 2012
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posted January 08, 2006 03:19 AM
i feel ,natasha has a point there .pride could be important . though i am not sure about celtic's crab . i have already stated it elsewere , that status has been detrimental in my relations with the women . i never asked the first one for marriage simply bcos i wasn't as good financially as her family (and i wasn't financially well settled , iwont ever bring a woman to my hoime if i can't fulfill her desires ). same in the second case ,here age too was a factor. even the newest cancer crush, i dont think i am ever gonna ask her out simply bcos she is above me designation wise(again) . having said this , i dont think its about insecurity . its only that i prefer relations on a equal level ,i know ,i wont be able to respect someone if he or she tries to dominate in any sense and in close love relations ,there are moments when things might not be as smooth as a cancer prefers ( remember, cancers always avoid confrontations ). in any such situation , a cancers first reaction is to move apart . this is something very hard for cancers especially with loved ones . so its more of a defensive mechanism at work rather than insecurity . swerve: na,na(thats no,no in hindi )
dont worry you didn't upset me ! IP: Logged |
celticfyre unregistered
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posted January 08, 2006 09:26 PM
Hey guys  I have been spending that last few days when I wasn't working reading and re- reading your responses to gain better perspective. One thing Natasha said about the Taurusmoon/rising Pisces she knows sounded very familiar in my situation...He almost said those things verbatim about clearing his head, getting his life straight to feel comfortable enought to be able to open up more and have the kind of feelings he should be having with me (or anyone else for that matter)etc. It was more based around his daughter and the continual custody/child support battle issues with his ex-wife--I mean he fully expects to spend the next 6 years going to court every few months until his daughter is 18 He has accepted that as part of his life and doing what he can to prevent his ex form manipulating his daughter to want to live with her (oh and she has tried evry dispicable bribe you can think of that you can level at a 12 year old and now is using her new baby half sister as part of the bribe) when it has nothing to do with how much she cares for her daughter and everything to do with "being right and proving him wrong" This constant fighting for protection has really caused him sacrifice and he has said in the past that his daughter is worth it and I am not saying she or anyone else's child is not worth sacrifice don't get me wrong there, but he has sacrificed himself to the point of having lost some of himself because he can't feel what he should be able to feel and to me that is wrong--- not that I think he consciously set out to have that as the end result. He even said that it may take getting throught the next 6 years for him to feel free enough to be for himself he didn't know. So it seems that what you guys have been saying sounds like it fits the situation here. ------------------ ML ~~~~~~~~~~~ "In my end is my beginning" Mary,Queen of Scots IP: Logged |
luvscorp unregistered
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posted January 09, 2006 04:33 AM
Celtic angel, I can totally identiry with you on this one .......... have been absent for a while but have read the threads & my situstion is identical .......... My cancer man has an ex with a baby boy, who he adores (lovely to see ) and she uses the child as a manipulation tool ......... very sad but true. Well to make you laugh - I don't get calls, e-mails or anything ........... for the past 3 months all I recive are pink golf balls from him via someone else.......... he knows I like pink & he was my golf instructor ............ so at least u have an explanation ......... for me I just have a heap of pink golf balls LOL LOL LOL ......... figure that one out If u need a sympathetic ear let me know ......... cos I have the same frustrations and disappointments as u do .......... i wish my cancer man had your man's honesty! hang in there ......... IP: Logged |
celticfyre unregistered
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posted January 09, 2006 09:01 AM
Thanks Luvscorp, I so appreciate it It is so frustrating...He just is such a lovely person and is a wonderful father I just can't believe he can't feel anything when he is with me there has to be something there...i just think that he has buried that part of himself so deep that he can't seem to unlock it I suppose. And it is not as if he didn't want to feel anything he wanted us to work more than anything but it didn't happen. I of course can't make him feel anything really --no one can make anyone feel anything (we just think we can)we have to let others make us feel things and I guess he can't really let himself.------------------ ML ~~~~~~~~~~~ "In my end is my beginning" Mary,Queen of Scots IP: Logged |
celticfyre unregistered
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posted January 09, 2006 10:13 AM
Luvscorp, I think your pink golf balls is his way of saying he's thinking of you without poking his head out too far...its actually very sweet and fairly personal and intimate because it is something that the two of you share and no one else. So you have at least that  ------------------ ML ~~~~~~~~~~~ "In my end is my beginning" Mary,Queen of Scots IP: Logged |
luvscorp unregistered
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posted January 09, 2006 11:18 AM
Hey, u sound like i feel celtic ......... darn awful situation. My saving grace is that I don't work with him or see him unless i go to the golf course - which i never do. Maybe if he doesn't see u at all for a few months or so he may realise he misses you ........men of any any star sign seem to only realise once it has gone ....... do you think u can move on at this stage or do u think there may b a chance? I have that mental dilemma going on in my head ......... do i stay or go. Well i guess life has to continue & if they come back they do ......... but I must admit that if he sends me another golf ball I might just send it back 'return to send' cos he can't keep me in his toy box and take me out once a year to play with.  where do we go from here? let me know if u have any ideas or need some support  IP: Logged |
cancerrg Newflake Posts: 0 From: Registered: Sep 2012
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posted January 09, 2006 11:55 AM
if you love someone , set it free ,if it comes it back to you then its yours ! (but both of you mystic ladies , this is not for us ,its a funda for the air people only ) celtic: your post about his daughters explains everything . family first! thats what the rule says . IP: Logged |
celticfyre unregistered
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posted January 09, 2006 05:58 PM
if you love someone , set it free ,if it comes it back to you then its yours !>>>>>Yeah yeah RG I know I know! I let a Pisces go --he never came back after a relationship of 15 years no less...I let a Virgo go he came back in a sense he's a good friend has a new Leo GF and is moving further away so I gotta let him go again and well, I just can't let my Crab go at least not completely.. Luvscorp- I have to see him at the fire station..I have resolved not to contact him unless it is station related business unless he contacts me that's one way I am dealing with it. Which seems totally opposite of advice that I received in the past concerning Cancers. I just don't know ...would appreciate some support there girl ..at this point I just have no answers.....I guess when in doubt about what to do about something the best course of action is to do nothing. ::::sigh:::: ------------------ ML ~~~~~~~~~~~ "In my end is my beginning" Mary,Queen of Scots IP: Logged |
luvscorp unregistered
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posted January 10, 2006 05:27 AM
I agree withh u - these cliches like'if u love someone set them free' are a bit annoying when u r obviously not able to let a situation go that is unfinished or pulling at your heart still ......... i don't know many people that can atually just let something go so easily when they have invested so much in it. I have been told that I need to get my confidence back in myself with regards to him and start realising that I am worthy of so much more - easy to say I know - but I know it is the case - just don't know where to start ........ maybe tis the same for you. Where do u put all the love that you have for him - where does that go when it ends so abruptly? Well the simple answer is to invest it in you - in anyway you can than giving it to him. Does he really deserve what you are giving him? Maybe slowly invest your time and love in yourself and others - but ever so slowly, otherwise it will be too much for you (believe me I know ) I have been told to say this to myself whenever I think about him or get an urge to contact him - "until such time as this situation shows substance and I start to receive what I need out of it, this man is not a part of my life! If substance is shown & things happens in a way that is acceptable to me I will start to deal with it then! He is saying not now and u may need to do the same - it doesn't mean not ever it just means not now. I would maybe think of moving to a different fire station or leaving all together - angel this is about you and your heart and what is best for you now. It is all about you - not him! maybe change your focus because u deserve to have the love u r giving to be reciprocated! I think maybe contact anyone else but him if u need business info. His importance will diminish in time and slowly - but it will diminish and u will feel stronger. You need your strength back. Doing nothing with regards to him is the right answer as he has given u no option ......... and you may feel like all is lost ........... but doing loads of things for you is also the answer - maybe change the focus - put yourself in the spotlight - not him! I think (not entirely sure) that cancerian men like to do the chasing and like to feel they r in control .......... well that will need u to take a step back, get your power back and concentrate on other things. You 2 r obviously connected & in time he will feel this pull and his actions will tell you what the truth is. If he doesn't act then u know for sure. I am in the same boat - but my love has turned to annoyance and anger, more at myself than him .......... but I have made a choice and need to stick to it - it isn't easy but i have to do it for myself. I am even thinking of sending the pink balls back! what do u think? let me know how u r doing ..........you will get through this!  IP: Logged |
sthenri unregistered
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posted January 10, 2006 08:53 AM
Send them back! It will feel good:>cancerg, I love what you said about wanting relations to be on an equal level. Maybe they are equal intellectually speaking first, and then physically? I am starting to believe, it can be equal if there is a meeting of the minds first. Natasha Taurus Cancer Moon IP: Logged |
cancerrg Newflake Posts: 0 From: Registered: Sep 2012
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posted January 10, 2006 12:33 PM
quote: Send them back! It will feel good:>
hahahahahahahahahaha................ IP: Logged |
AppleLove unregistered
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posted January 10, 2006 10:21 PM
Hey there Celtic,I hope and pray the best for you. Although I wish I could tell you what your future will hold... that is only a mystery. What I would like to share are a few thoughts that popped into my mind as I read your follow up to your story that rang true for me in my own life. In times that I've wanted something *so much!* but am not receiving what I desire...I sometimes find that I am trying to start forcing something... because of the fact that I want it so bad! For me the emotions that are brought up are ones of Fear: uncertainty, anxiety, frustration, etc. not of Love, which ironically is what I am wishing for. When I'm going through this cycle or pattern in my life, I stop and think: What and Why am I doing this to myself? All I am doing is making myself insane. As famous Einstein's definition of Insanity goes: 'doing the same thing over and over and hoping for a different result.' It's then that I realize in the feeling that I'm trying to force something to happen and it just ain't workin'! that I need: DO JUST THE OPPOSITE. Which usually is to: Do nothing. My Grandma's favorite line is: 'Nance...when you don't know what to do... do nothing!' Those are really wise words. I believe the highest form of purity, peace and way to truly fill Love *which is what we are really seeking* in our heart is to learn the art of letting go. Here goes the part: 'Someone once said if you love something, set it free....' I have also realized during this process of feeling like I'm wanting the outcome of a situation to be a certain way and it's not producing those results that my expectations lead to disappointment. There is a Universal law to the flow of energy. That of the exchange of Giving and Receiving. In situations like this I tend to give and give and when I give too much it creates an unbalance in my life and I can really feel it. In the act of letting go and doing nothing, I then begin to focus on myself and regain the peace inside my soul that seemed like was lost. I learn to Give to myself first and also in this letting go, things somehow come back to you and you can begin to receive. Then slowly I start to feel that Love again in my heart. I know it is so hard to let go...but when you can truly and honestly do so, ultimately you will feel such a HUGE sigh of relief ... like you can breathe again. I leave you with a poem . . . Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be (possibly your roommate, neighbor, coworker, long lost friend, lover, or even a complete stranger) but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way. And sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart. Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless. The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience help to create whom you become. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things. Make every day count! Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one can hear you. Love like you’ve never been hurt. Live as if it were heaven on Earth. IP: Logged |
celticfyre unregistered
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posted January 11, 2006 12:02 PM
Beautiful post Nancy, Thank you! Acutally I think I am getting triple whammied here in dealing with loss, in addition to my Crab ending , I am dealing with two virgo friends who are moving away. One is a gal pal who is actually moving to where I am from to live with her parents and go to school---a good move for her. And my ex-Virgo BF who I have remained freinds with for the alomost 3 years since we broke up..we have shared responsibilites for our dog who live primarily with me and he has always lived fairly close and conveinient...now he moving to where is isn't so conveninent and he has a new GF who doesn't like the fact that he is friends with his ex girlfriend(even tho in her mind it is okay for her to be freinds with her ex BF) DOn't get me started on that one..lol..but the bottom line is I picked up the dog this am and all her doggie things from his place and I felt this overwhemling sadness that I burst into tears and I haven't been able to stop blubbering since...and I feel so ALONE and Isolated. Thank you all for being there (here)  ------------------ ML ~~~~~~~~~~~ "In my end is my beginning" Mary,Queen of Scots IP: Logged |
AppleLove unregistered
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posted January 11, 2006 08:03 PM
I feel you! Feeling alone and isolated is no picnic. Just keep in mind that the best is yet to come. Life will pick up and great things are just around the corner.When I'm feeling sluggish I refer to this list I have. It's 100 Energy Builders and 100 Energy Drainers. See if you can pick a few things from the Builder list and eliminate a few from the Drainer list. I hope this helps! Lots of love and warmth to you from California back East. ***100 Energy Builders*** align yourself appreciate someone be more accepting be near or in water breathe more deeply brush your teeth celebrate center yourself complete some tasks create or appreciate art cry cuddle with someone or something dance day dream do puzzles do rituals do something different do things differently dress up drink more water drive eat engage in sex enjoy quality time enjoy something pleasurable enjoy the sunshine exercise fast forgive someone gardening get hair or nails done give to a charity go shopping go to a show ground yourself have a massage have a relaxing meal hold hands with someone hug hug a tree journal laugh learn new things light candles listen to or play music make love meditate play play with pets pray read relax receive compliments reorganize retreat say ‘I Love you’ shower sing swim take a holiday take a nature walk take time for yourself take vitamins use your hands visit a friend walk barefoot write a self appreciation list ***Energy Drainers*** accidents addictions allergies anger being controlled being scattered being unbalanced being unfocused boredom broken boundaries busyness claustrophobia compromise conflicts crisis criticism emotions excessive self review failure fear feeling threatened feeling victimized fights guilt having too many people around high expectations high humidity high temperature impatience inertia insults jealousy lack of sleep lack of stimulation laziness lengthy meetings life changes long ‘To Do’ lists loss of esteem loud noise low self worth manipulation medications negative encounters negative news negative self talk nosy people not knowing orgasms over giving overeating overwork pain perfectionism physical changes poor diet procrastination resentment sadness shame shyness sickness stress tardiness technology unfinished business unscheduled events weather worry
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celticfyre unregistered
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posted January 11, 2006 09:53 PM
Again Thank you Nancy for the list, I certainly will try...as Scarlett said "tomorrow is another day!" ------------------ ML ~~~~~~~~~~~ "In my end is my beginning" Mary,Queen of Scots IP: Logged |
celticfyre unregistered
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posted January 17, 2006 05:46 PM
Hey guys! well just crawling out from under my rock to let you know I'm still here Trying to concentreate on things other than him for the while.------------------ ML ~~~~~~~~~~~ "In my end is my beginning" Mary,Queen of Scots IP: Logged |
cancerrg Newflake Posts: 0 From: Registered: Sep 2012
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posted January 18, 2006 10:36 AM
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celticfyre unregistered
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posted January 29, 2006 04:02 PM
HHHMMMM...guys I don't feel the story is over.Am I being an idiot or could there be some validation for these feelings???? ------------------ ML ~~~~~~~~~~~ "In my end is my beginning" Mary,Queen of Scots IP: Logged |
AppleLove unregistered
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posted January 29, 2006 05:12 PM
Hey woman!How are you doing? What's the update on your story...? I'm sure it's not over but what have you been feeling? I hope you are filled with more positive energy lately. Hugs & Warmth from California, Nancy  IP: Logged |
celticfyre unregistered
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posted January 29, 2006 05:43 PM
Hey Nance! Well we aren't dating right now and when we see each other at the station its as if none of that end of our relationship has changed. He has shared some stuff with me that he probably wouldn't have told anybody else and some stuff that he didn't necessarily have to tell me ,but he did so i guess those things are good. Just weird coincidence that I had gone up there yesterday to drop something off and pick soemthing else up and wouldn't have expected him to be there..no one was there at the time the crew had gone to dinner...and he showed up about 20 seconds after me and we talked for a little while about a few things mostly about how for the last two days how p.o.'d we were about things that had happened unrelated each other he got "hosed" again in court and now his ex- doesn't have to pay him any child support because she "doesn't have a job" she is on maternity leave from the police department and he was so upset about things that he couldn't sleep left the station about 4 am went home and didn't go to bed unitl about 8 am. Me I was upset about stuff that happened at work and I sat in my garden tub until the water got cold about 2 am...lol I should have told him what I always say---you should have called me. He and I are so often on the same wavelenghth. I have no idea what the future holds for the two of us but I cannot help but shake the feeling that it does ---what/how I don't know.How goes it with you and your crab? ------------------ ML ~~~~~~~~~~~ "In my end is my beginning" Mary,Queen of Scots IP: Logged |
AppleLove unregistered
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posted January 29, 2006 07:25 PM
Oh I feel you. Believe me I TOTALLY understand what you are going through. What I've found is that its very hard to describe in words what goes on because so much of it is SUBTLE and on an underlying emotional level that can't be put into thought/words. I'm not sure if this makes sense. Not much is going on on my end...actually not much in general in my life either at this moment...the winter is making me feel kinda unmotivated in general. We'll have to catch up on a personal email. Gotta run for now....look forward talking soon. Love, NancyIP: Logged |
celticfyre unregistered
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posted January 31, 2006 12:33 AM
absolutely, e-mail me!------------------ ML ~~~~~~~~~~~ "In my end is my beginning" Mary,Queen of Scots IP: Logged | |