posted January 01, 2006 05:52 PM         

I contacted him last March and everything appeared to go all right until he suddenly stopped being interested and stop making any effort. I got tired of ringing and texting him in June so communication stopped. We only met for coffee once and then he didn't call me anymore.

Out of the blue, last night, after 6 months of silence, he warmly contacted me to wish me a happy new year. So I rang him to return his good wishes and say thank you.
He engaged me in a nice conversation that lasted almost an hour; we laughed a lot, we were both loving it...

And then, suddenly, he changed subjects after 40 min of pleasant chit-chat (Aries do that... They change subjects unexpectedly... I don't think it was planned...) and implied that he had been very long without sex (he's a romantic so he doesn't sleep around... he is also very disappointed and hurt with past experiences) and he wouldn't mind, furthermore he'd love, to have sex with someone he got on well and knew from a long time, without love or compromise involved... I could not believe what I was hearing... He was proposing me a one-night-stand? To me? His little princess? He has only had a coffee with me after many years of distance and it was 6 months ago... I'm talking about a guy who has not had sex for years because he wasn't in love... I feel insulted because it's coming from him...

My best friend, another Aries who knows him and is also a week younger than him, says it's a typical Aries thing... It's true that he is a bit prone to disastrous ways of putting things in words... He has made a big mess of situations in the past not meaning to...

He may have a distorted image of me if he has taken out of context some of my comments that day we went for coffee. My friend says he may think I'm more "open-minded" in sexual matters than I'm truly (No matter my strong Sag influences - I'm a Sag rising by the way - I'm still a Virgo...) and he may have tried to impress me playing to be what he's not, maybe thinking that was a way to start something... I can't see him contacting me if he thought I was cheap and easy...

I don't know, it may have been just unfortunate... But, being crude, I really feel as a piece of meat with a hole. I don't think he intended to make me feel that way though. I did make clear I wasn't that type.

He may even be so embarrassed now after thinking what he told me... I know he likes me, a lot, I sense that... And I'm sure he has lost touch with the feminine world, so long it has been and so hurt he is (Venus retro too), that he has forgotten how to treat a woman...

posted January 01, 2006 06:55 PM         

Aries men can be very romantic, I know two, but both are not at all serious about sex without love, and that involves commitment, so offer your friendship and find out eventually what the deal is.

posted January 01, 2006 07:12 PM         

When we met for coffee, he kept asking questions that led to think he was after a serious relationship (The same as now I could think he only wanted to lay me down...) so I couldn't understand that sudden change... I sounded much more light-hearted, but hey, being passionate and liking sex is not the same than going to bed with acquintances just for fun... Even less with him, my high-school prince charming, my very first old flame!!! I expected a much more romantic proposition...

Well, yes, it was a tactless way of saying "I'm truly into you"...

Thank you, MarsConjMerc, coming from such a Saggie (You have a lot of Sag in there, don't you?) it can't be very far from the truth... Well, I'm also strongly Sag influenced... Triple conjunction of Moon, Neptune and Ascendant in Sag, Sun and Merc in the 9th and Jupiter in mutual reception with the Moon...

I wouldn't say he is insincere... He is a charmer but doesn't lie... I believe his celibacy is a reality. I know people who know him well and he mixes with... I also know he is an idealist, a born romantic and also know a couple of early girlfriends who treated him badly and shattered his dreams of knightly behaviour and romance...

He has a Cappy Moon by the way, no idea if that makes him more or less sincere...

Hmmm, Nat... I couldn't believe he was serious about having sex without love... I think he already loves me... But of course I want a relationship before considering anything to do with sex... To be friends, he needs to trust me. I think he does but he needs more time... We need to talk more. That will take time... I'm not chasing him. It works better if he contacts me first... I hope next time will be before another 6 months go by!!!

posted January 01, 2006 07:18 PM         

I can understand how you might take it that way, but I agree with marsconjunctmercury (when it comes to the really caring for you and expressing it poorly, not the lack of sincerity over the long term).
Speaking as an Aries, lack of contact doesn't mean a lack of interest (for me, anyhow). I know that sounds silly, but it's true for me. I go through periods of strong introversion - I'm actually experiencing that feeling of needing to be tucked away now (in a positive way), but am trying to make more of an effort myself.

posted January 01, 2006 07:37 PM         

It means a lot that you guys, especially in your case because you are an Aries yourself, throw some light into this... It really hurt me thinking that after all we lived, I'm not more than a possible good lay...
I have been deeply hurt in the past by his tactless unintentionate blunders... And it's true that our story makes me more prone to feel wounded towards him. I never felt worthy of him when we were teenagers and that very tendency of expressing incorrectly what he felt and me overreacting were the root of much suffering...

In the past, I always thought that he meant what he said... but now I'm starting to be aware that it clashes with what I perceive of his true self, the energy he gives out...

posted January 02, 2006 02:59 AM         

Try not to take it personally.. maybe you can call him back, and casuallly mention you were happy that you talked, and that perhaps you could......... (playfully.. treat it lightheartedly, instead of a 'low-proposition', as I don't think it was meant that way)
.........perhaps you could meet for a 'quickie' coffee instead and exchange conversation instead of fluids.

Remember too, that Aries men are highly sexed, and it is easy to express affection through the body...... and just as easy to stick that high- energy- well- intentioned foot in their mouths. Cut him some slack and get that magic back.
Hre called you new years, babe.. he was thinking about new starts.
THAT should be the only indication that matters from that phonecall.

posted January 02, 2006 06:15 AM         

are you supposed to be honored? after all this time what 6 months? he's filling a need and not renewing a friendship. He needs to get real!

Think about it whos doing who the favor here? And no it won't be worth it because you have feelings for him and hes busy. Your feelings will only get hurt.

If you don't want to laugh in his face tell him you value his friendship too much to ruin it with sex.

posted January 02, 2006 07:46 AM         

quote:

---

as if...
are you supposed to be honored? after all this time what 6 months? he's filling a need and not renewing a friendship. He needs to get real!Think about it whos doing who the favor here? And no it won't be worth it because you have feelings for him and hes busy. Your feelings will only get hurt. If you don't want to laugh in his face tell him you value his friendship too much to ruin it with sex.I've got one word for Aries
INCONSIDERATE

---

How about insincere?

posted January 02, 2006 07:58 AM         

Hmmm... I won't call him back... I'll give him space, he likes the chase... It didn't work before, maybe it's where he got (or reinforced) his idea of me being after something right now... I think he was avoiding me for that reason. He doesn't like meat hunters and my persistence may have led him to a wrong conclusion if he took my comments about sex out of context... Of course he thinks of me. He has been doing it for years, even when I was abroad thinking that I may have not returned, asking my Aries friend about me every time he saw her... He even gathered the strength to call me over there after years of silence and risking not being welcomed.
I think he used the excuse of New Year's Eve because it had been already 6 months, so it was clear I wasn't chasing him. Because he has been thinking of me and has been waiting for the opportunity to make a move without exposing himself too much... I truly don't know how the hell he jumped into that silly proposition that way... He is scared of loving a woman, he is scared of comit his heart again and be slaughtered again. He is even more scared of me, because I'm that sweet princess he has been dreaming of for too many years... and if I slaughter him, well, I don't know... He found me very changed... Much more self-confident, witty and funny... I wasn't that silent shadow with adoring gaze that he remembers...
But I bet he even likes more this new version of myself... It's still me but with some enhancements...

He always thought I was the right one and he lost me. Now I'm back and he doesn't know what to do. He needs to trust the woman in me first, believe that I won't hurt him.

Lala... UNCONSIDERATE... Yes, I can't agree more... But I know many of them and I know they don't intend to be. They just are... and are mortified when they understand what they did (if they get to understand, of course...).

No, I'm not supposed to be honoured... I bet he doesn't believe his luck yet, he must be thinking it was fate. He has been trying to impress me with his funny chit-chat every time... He even try to be subtle selling himself (which obviously is not subtle at all)...

posted January 02, 2006 09:11 AM         

Let him know you are receptive and be sweet to him, but let him work a little to get you.

Lots of luck,

posted January 02, 2006 03:12 PM         

It’s so funny. There are two extreme opinions going on here… Either he is dirty b*stard trying to get advantage of someone who started loving him at the age of 10 or he is a sweet disaster of a person absolutely crazy about me who has lost completely his touch with women and thought that way he would impress me…

posted January 02, 2006 06:50 PM         

If it's a problem with expression, then he ought to get it right away and he does need to have this explained to him by you.

He may have thought you were a good way to find out if he was still attractive or not since Aries men worry about this, and how the world sees them.

You could simply reassure him that he is an attractive man who does not have to be unhappy without a romantic relationship and mention that you are his friend. I wouldn't mention why, or say why you are not looking for a romance, or offer suggestions. Treat me as you would any badly burned girlfriend, encourage him to develop in other ways and stay supportive. Tell him you are supportive of his entire life.

Otherwise he will focus too much on the lack of romance in his life and he will get depressed.

The aries/cap moon I know is super into his career but always likes to hear good things about it.

posted January 03, 2006 08:52 AM         

The trouble is I don’t want to make an issue of this. I’ll have to wait until he contacts me again to see if he was serious about it and comments it again or if he was just probing to check on my reaction…

The thing is I would consider a romance with him. I don’t discard sex, but that will only happen as part of a serious relationship and only if there are feelings involved. And before considering a romantic relationship we need to work on trust and friendship…