posted February 13, 2006 05:35 PM         

I know that my ex is a narcissist. I know it from our talks and because he was diagnosed as having an empathy-like disorder. He was also facinated with N's stating that his brother was one.

They also have to fit the profile from childhood (sexual abuse, physical abuse, turmoil in the family life...etc..) My ex grew up in a violent home, extremely violent and I won't get too much into it out of some respect. I can say this..all of his brothers have a major addiction and borderline personality disorders. His mother is also on medical for a mental health disorder.

As sad / angry as I am for being the NS (and trust me, I knew about this problem well before it was ever posted here) I do feel empathy and sympathy for his past. It angers me that someone could do what was done to him and leave a person to fend for themselves. People don't seem to get that child abuse is long term and affects many many other people, not just the child for that period of time.

There are reason's why someone is a psychopath or a sociopath or EV.. (which I think encompasses many other disorders). The N lies and invents their own world because they were never loved as a child. If you grow up feeling like a loser, beaten by your parents because you and your sibling got into a fight and then treated like a little sex-toy.. yeah.. I can see how creating a world where you are the center of attention can happen.

As much as I would want to hate the N... there also has to be an understanding as to what made them that way. That being said, it doesn't change the person or that fact that you cannot be with that person.

I lived through it with him. Watched the addictive behaviours come out - sex, drugs, violence, lies.. A person that had no regard for the lives of others (yet there were some that he held close to his heart).

It is not enough to just say "Oh.. yes, my bf cheated on me and lied..therefore he is an EV" LOL... it goes deeper than that.

You know a person that has lived through it because they are forever changed. Like Stargazer, the last thing I ever wanted to do was read this thread at first. I passed it over for days.. then read it.. then wouldn't reply.. then came back.

When you see it... it hits you in the gut and you re-live the pain of what you went through. Nothing has been as devastating at the relationship I had with the ex-taurus. Not even the ex-hubby that couldn't be intimate.

I was easy prey at the time for the Taurus. Looking back I see the questions he asked were ways to determine my vulnerable points. Throughout the relationship I started to document situations, conversations (because you learn to do that since you know the words will be twisted back to you).

I remember a time when he tortured me about living in Korea and eating dog meat. He laughed as he discussed, in detail, picking out the dog, watching them slaughter the dog and then cook it. He enjoyed that it made me cry, he enjoyed that it broke my heart.

Another time when I was out of town he fed my cat rich cat treats while excluding the other one. He thought it would make one turn against the other. I told he had to stop because they were so rich the cat would get sick. He fed her the whole bag and she ended up having diarrhea and vomiting all over the furniture. The only positive thing about it was that he had to clean it up and she did it all over his crap.

NORMAL people do not think along those lines. Normal people do not feel it necessary to turn animals against each other or watch people cry for the fun of it.

posted February 13, 2006 09:43 PM         

I use my instincts with people, I always need to know more before revealing anything. I go to that person's home, look around, get a sense, before doing the same.

Pidua, at the time, nothing about the Taurus could have really clued you in. I remember you talking about him and he really did seem sweet, kind and very together emotionally. Rigid but normal.

I really am glad you two are not in talks as he has a lot of growing up to do. Are you okay now? I am not really dating, just chasing something real if it exists. Staying focused on being healthy and happy and meeting new friends, especially funny ones. Love comedies.

posted February 14, 2006 03:21 AM         

quote:

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"I want the mother of my children to be at home taking care of them while I support the family."
TRANSLATION: When my mask comes off you'll finally see how egotistical and hateful I really am.

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dont want to sound crude but that was really funny HD. I have seen SO MANY MEN like that its disgusting. im just sick of the fake machismo and dominant patriarchal crappola. you can't find a chivalrous man nowadays that doesnt want you barefoot and preggos in the kitchen bowing down to his intellect and money making ability, even if yours are greater than his. And yes i def have an ego in that respect, I only bow down to ppl in those areas if I can see that they are more knowledgeble/accomplished than I am...sighs. Stubborn me, scorp stell 2nd house.

great topic tho. i will be back for more. to read more into the types. the artist bit is for sure. people with strong neptune aspects at least come to mind some have been the absolute epitome of genius but there is a dark side. einstein and shakespeare come to mind at once. altho never too great a shakespeare fan now that i am taking the req class for my eng major i am appreciating every bit more, the man was truly a genius with wit and word. but also has a lot of dark undercurrents and some sicko personal history.

posted January 05, 2007 04:08 AM         

It's nearly impossible to make any long lasting friendships on the net...more a pity.

posted February 27, 2007 10:45 PM         

Practice some critical thinking. there are an ungodly amount of self analysis quizzes online, to tell if you are depressed or crazy. They are filled with vague questions, look at how they are worded (with words like possibly, maybe, often). what is "often" for instance? It is subjective depending on the person. to many subjective phrases! I urge you, LOOK again for yourself! Be critical of each question! People come out of it saying "wow it says I am depressed, better see a doctor." But look at some of these websites harder. For instance I saw a site where Zoloft was providing a quiz on depression! come on people, of course they want to make you feel depressed, to feed the drug empire! Most of these websites have agendas and it is not for the common person, but to feed their own greedy pockets!

If you FEEL you are destined to be something you WILL be that something if it is enforced enough by zoloft quizzes and your gullible mind. It's just a self fulfilling prophecy. Go into things with a better attitude, do something to increase your confidence, be critical and you will beat whatever has taken over your soul.

so you people who say you have emotional problems. By who's standards? your own? another self fulfilling prophecy! If you take what others say seriously, like a zoloft quiz, you may very well start to feel depressed or crazy, people react to you in kind and perpetuate those feelings, it is environment.

Things like what is described in this thread are not things you want to convince yourself you have, because usually there is a label attached to what you are prescribed with in this society, even if you label yourself with emotional problems, most people will just accept that and not question who actually said you had problems, and people will judge that label, be it depression or craziness or anxiety. and that label is hard to escape in this society, sometimes lasting a lifetime. I think it is quite unfair in fact. Do you really want to label yourself after a simple quiz now?

Psychological terms are NOT the end all and say all in figuring out mental disorders and I don't believe they provide the answer, largely because the "holy grail" of psychology, the DSM 4 is so erratic. conditions are in-out-in-out from edition to edition. In the last edition, I remember something that had been left out previous was added AGAIN because it was effecting someones practice who was quite big in the field. I believe one of them was homosexuality (but do not quote me). Is that in the lastest version of DSM 4? please check? The next one is due out in 2010. Save your current version and compare it to the 2010 version.

posted September 08, 2007 11:34 AM         

Reading through the stuff posted I gotta say, as I Piscean, I would have fallen for those hook line and sinker

Except for that translation stuff – too cynical to fall for that lol

quote:

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F O G = Fear, Obligation and Guilt
Dr. Susan Forward does a fantastic job of describing FOG in her important book Emotional Blackmail. Be on the watch for it!!
Examples: "Don't you care if...." "If you loved me..." " Don't you think you (we) should..." "Wouldn't it be better if..." "Can't you take a joke?" "You could never do..." "I thought that's what you wanted" "Do we all agree..." "It's reasonable to expect..." "We've already...." "I need you to..." "You don't think I meant...do you?" "We were counting on you to..." "Aren't you going to..."
Strategy - Know your vulnerabilities to 'FOG'. Don't take their bait. Expect them to howl - let them.

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posted October 07, 2007 03:20 AM         

quote:

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Emotional Vampires=Actors, Politicians and Artists.
Although I am an artist I am very humble without visions of grandeur, it's not about me, its' about society. Any artist who is discrimatory is not an artist, he's a wannabe. Real artists have NO ego.

Watch out for those narcisstic wannabees!

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Firstly, I was a broker/financial consultant, and my job was to literally tell people that there was a reason to fear when there wasn't. it made me sick, then I quit. But then, from there I went and became a full-time artist, which is another vampire; because yes... I know that being an artist is being a servant to society, because i know that artists feel the collective consiousness' feelings before society knows what they are feeling, a sensitivity to what direction the human race is going, and as an artist your job is to articulate this for society. That's my warped belief.

But, with that said, I choose not to be a starving artist, hence I am applying business practices to my art, brand development etc. for my benefit too. So, with that comes some thoughts of grandeur, because I am thinking of my art on a big scale, as in, my goal is to have it accessible to all through very aggressive marketing.

I am also very involved with producing a product of excellence, of good quality, a product needed by the market, not just pushed into the market and down people's throat. Hence I put a lot of thought in my work. But I desire to be recognised one day for my efforts. I do not need to be, but it is a big desire to be recognised for my contribution, and I would like to contribute beauty to society, and be recognised for it because that to me is also an indicator of whether my product should stay in the market, pulled out, or modified.

My dreams as an artist are big. So, I guess I am an emotional vampire. But is desire to do something worthwhile, something to be remembered for, something that I desire to benefit all(me included) bad?

Well, opinions differ, I suppose. I am not arguing against being an emotional vampire. So, I am not looking to be told that I am not one.

If I am, then I will meditate upon it and see whether I am hurting people by having my grand dream, but so far I think I haven't.

I just honestly think that I have something worthwhile to share with people, and I had kept it to myself for a long time, then someone told me that I was selfish, and I saw their point, and that's when I decided to share my artistry with others. The person who told me this was not the execs I am dealing with who want to make a buck out of me, but a close friend and confidant.

Am I humble? I don't know. 'Probably not. I let my art speak for itself and i believe in it very much. I do not blow its horn, but I do not speak badly of it if I think well of what I have produced.

Am I a wanna be? LOL... seems so.

I will admit that I might have things to work on then from reading this post. With that said though, i do not see a contradiction between grandeur and having a win-win outcome.

added: Also, I am a thrill seeker because my work now is risky and I get an rush from it, which pleases me. It is exciting. I love it when people appreciate what I have done. It makes me work harder for them, makes me desire to out-do what I did previously, and simply inspires me to produce another product that people appreciate.

When I hear of someone saying that they identify with my work, and that I have put words to what they couldn't. I am pleased.

My ego is thus stroked? I guess so.

But, it doesn't make me complacent, it makes me want to provide more of that comfort for which people have found in me. It is a duty and a job what I do, but I enjoy it when it bears results.

But, I know myself, and I doubt that I am malicious, but sometimes one can cause harm without knowing, hence I fully own up to being an emotional vampire. it is my area of development i suppose.