posted May 29, 2006 07:30 AM         

There are people that like to conrol with words. My daughter married a man that told her she was too fat.... She, at the time, was way underweight. He wanted to undermine her confidence, so she would feel like no one else would want her.

Whatever the case may be, the wife needs to really look at the reason for hubby's cold treatment. Is this marriage really ready to end. Is she or both just hanging in when it's been over for a while now? If she really looks inside; than, she will know (Scorps ususally do).

posted May 29, 2006 01:55 PM         

The Scorpio woman needs to be true to her inner self... soar !! higher than imaginable. Be the best that she can be..

And once she has regained her confidence, then perhaps she'll still have some compassion and be willing to help the silly manipulative man change his destructive ways. If he doesnt, tis his loss.

But first and formost.. she needs to do herself a big favour and unleash the phoenix! She's got the POWER !!!

posted June 02, 2006 10:39 AM         

There seems to be a disagreement on the board about the root of the problem; some background would be helpful.

posted June 02, 2006 11:41 AM         

Nice to have you here...

Sorry for your troubles....

Just remember girl,,,,there is ALWAYS another man waiting around the corner...

There is no need for any woman to tolerate this treatment.

Find someone who will enjoy your Scorpio body as much as you do....

You deserve this....and lotsof love....

What sign is the husband btw (Gemini comes to mind, dont know why)?

posted June 02, 2006 12:07 PM         

And what about the "friend"?

posted June 02, 2006 12:13 PM         

I am Scorpio woman, my man is Virgo male and we have been together for 17 years...my weight has gone up and down quite a bit and yet he has NEVER mentioned this....

He is a very sensual and keen lover and although we have our ups and downs and rollercoaster rides,,,Ive always felt its a good match....

And he has never been unfaithful to me...or me him (to date).

Go for it girl,,,Virgo men are very kind,,,,and giving....the server....calm too.

Mine has his faults and we have come close to splitting up in the past, but I know in my heart he is one of the best in the world...

posted June 02, 2006 01:29 PM         

I see, because I try to consider both sides of the issue before I address it(I put the blame on my crazy Libra rising), and happen to have a different opinion than yours, I somehow manage to hurt the image of ALL Israeli men in your eyes?
Seriously though, what makes you think I care about the image of Israeli men in the eyes of someone who can't even make a proper arguement?

------------------
"When the odds are against you, keep calm and cheat."

If a tree falls in the forest and there is no one around and it kills a mime, does anyone care?
-Terry Pratchett

posted June 02, 2006 02:02 PM         

(And in doing so reinforcing some people's largely untrue - except, it seems, in case - negative stereotypes of the males in your region of the world.)

posted June 02, 2006 02:24 PM         

------------------
"When the odds are against you, keep calm and cheat."

If a tree falls in the forest and there is no one around and it kills a mime, does anyone care?
-Terry Pratchett

posted June 02, 2006 03:08 PM         

quote:

---

Have you ever listened to "women lose weight" by Slick Rick? That song kind of addresses this sort of situation...
Anyway, is it really the husband's fault for not being attracted to his wife?(and being honest about it) (...) but how can you expect a man to have sex with a women he's not attracted to? It's physically impossible.

---

According to your interpretation of life, my god - all those poor old men! Forced to have sex with their equally elderly wives.
I mean, I surely wouldn't be purely physically attracted to an old woman (or an old man, for that matter).
Way too many wrinkly, saggy, and spotted bits for all that.
And those poor men married to the mother of their children! How can they ever sleep with those women, those women who now have a Mommy Belly?!? I mean, most Moms look nothing Jenna Jameson! Oh, the indignity, oh the humanity!!!
(Too much?)

It just didn't seem that your post took into account the subjectivity in desire that comes into account in any long-term partnership (or, barring that, the little bit of necessary civil tact and sensitivity that spouses routinely extend to one another).

I can unabashedly say that I've stayed very attracted to my husband during his weight peaks and valleys (he has a Taurus Moon and can tend to be a little bit of an emotional eater). I love the core of him, and sometimes a more squishy body goes with that than at other times. (Besides, a little belly can be wonderful ) In the same vein, I'd like to think that I'll still want to (gently) jump his rickety old bones 50 years from now.
In the event that a younger him gets disfigured or wounded (a real possibility as he's a soldier), I'd hope to be there to kiss and caress his scars.
(I was going to say, "To be there to give his knob a good shining," but that's too graphic...oh, wait...I went and said it; damn fingers get away from me sometimes.)
I've known any number of more buff or better looking guys (though, to be fair, my honey's hot in an Irish lad sorta way), but I've honestly never been attracted anywhere as much to anyone as I am to him...just because he's who he is. And because he loves me, and I love him in return.

Gah, but you're a girl!
Girls are all emotional-ly! Blah!
OK...
I'm passably good looking and have enormous ta-tas (there go those fingers again), but he stayed "interested" in me as my body beached-whaled up throughout my pregnancy with our daughter; we stayed active til late in the 3rd trimester when I said, "Hon, the baby seems to go to sleep when we have sex...and that's kinda freaky."
Again, I'd like to hope that it was the me-of-me that had him going.
It sure wasn't my enormous, blue-veined, and lactating breasts.
We both agreed that those were pretty gross

I mean, shouldn't a marriage be at least a little about being able to lie in bed with your aging spouse laughing together at your bodies as they go all wonky...and knowing at the core that you're both deeply loved?
And I don't know about you, but for me it's the love that I have for my husband that gives me the urge to merge, not the other way around.
You might think that that's just a "feminine" way of looking at things, but, hell - there're guys out there who're like that, too.
In general, men tend to be visually stimulated creatures, but love creates beauty.
We've all heard the old axiom that the most attractive person can grow to seem ugly to their partner if it's an "ugly" marriage, and the most homely can be cherished above all others given true affection.

posted June 02, 2006 03:41 PM         

That's why they're generally considered "fickle" in relationships.

These two should never have gotten married - unless, of course, he has other facters in his chart that balance out the Saggie energy.

Great post, Prox. You've eloquently highlighted yet another issue that leaves females feeling quite discouraged about men in general. We're apparently not allowed to be human. Just cupie dolls.

No wonder eating disorders are 5 times more common among females than males. Maybe even 10 times (?)

posted June 02, 2006 03:53 PM         

"That's it, hon, I'm becoming a lesbian.
It's chicks for me for now on...you evil, nasty men disgust me."
"That's not fair. I'm not like that!"
*prox narrows her eyes*
"Suuuuuuuure. Mmmmmm hmmmm."
"Oh, god, shuddup you dork and sit by me on the couch so we can watch *insert name of our current sci-fi show du-jour*."

And then I do, and then we end-up talking about classic VWs or politics or something and cuddling and forget all about my emerging bitterness.

That's what the world needs!

More goofy-@ss heavily Aquarian Males!
They're too spacey to notice anything but your mind!

posted June 02, 2006 04:01 PM         

------------------
"When the odds are against you, keep calm and cheat."

If a tree falls in the forest and there is no one around and it kills a mime, does anyone care?
-Terry Pratchett

posted June 02, 2006 04:25 PM         

------------------
"When the odds are against you, keep calm and cheat."

If a tree falls in the forest and there is no one around and it kills a mime, does anyone care?
-Terry Pratchett

posted June 02, 2006 04:40 PM         

From the woman's perspective, though, what good does it do for her to stay with a man who values her primarily for that facet of herself and who demeans her (if the porn-star comparison is true) to that end?
Doing so would be allowing herself to be defined through a devaluing of her humanity in favor of her flesh.

posted June 03, 2006 02:25 AM         

Well, first of all, she was already adviced to dump him before I posted my first post-what good will it do to parrot another poster? Anyway, I agree that he is somewhat insensitive and tactless(he's a Sagittarius-what were you expecting? ), but we are all defected, aren't we? Is it really a wise decision to break a marriage off because of this relatively minor flaw? If it is just an example of a consistent insensitivity, I'd understand-but we don't know that. We don't even know how highly he values her appearance-for all we know he may just be worried about her health and trying to motivate her, or(an option I think is more plausible) he is angry at her for disrespecting him and their union by letting herself go.
Anyway, just because he consider her looks important doesn't mean he can't appreciate other facets of her, just that he feels this praticular facet is important-there's nothing wrong with that.

------------------
"When the odds are against you, keep calm and cheat."

If a tree falls in the forest and there is no one around and it kills a mime, does anyone care?
-Terry Pratchett

posted June 03, 2006 05:12 AM         

This is about What Rebecca thinks. Hi Rebecca. I was married to a Sag for 10 years. I had to leave him. He liked having contol way too much.

Oh, by the way, I attract virgos more than any other sign. They have such a sensual quality.

Good Luck.

posted June 03, 2006 06:25 AM         

I wasn't "parroting" anyone - I haven't even read this whole thread because, oh, wait, I have a life that includes a child, husband, an education, and relatively active social life.
I was offering my opinion, nothing more - and I was doing so in a civil way, which is a bit more than I can say for you.

You may try to continue this if you like, but attempted adult conversation with you's now been placed on my "not worth my time" list