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Author
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Topic: Same Sex Sexual Soul Unions
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Kal_El
Knowflake Posts: 242
From: Seattle
Registered: Jan 2008
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posted May 09, 2008 02:33 AM
 
Wow LEXX!
I must say I admire your courage. I don't know if I would be able to do the same in if in your place. I am humbled by your honesty.
(also like the reference to Native Americans)------------------
"They'll get you anything with that EVIL smile..." IP: Logged |
BlueRoamer
Knowflake Posts: 4440
From: Calm Blue Ocean, Calm Blue Ocean
Registered: Jun 2003
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posted May 09, 2008 02:35 AM
Thanks for sharing that, lexx.  IP: Logged |
Heart--Shaped Cross
Knowflake Posts: 8002
From: 11/6/78 11:38am Boston, MA
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted May 09, 2008 03:00 AM
Beautiful Thread, Melody.
..."what is it with straight, gay, bi, whatever? I mean, the buttons are different but all in all much the same! Love is not really about gender and sex is it?"
 Lexx
IP: Logged |
Azalaksh
Knowflake Posts: 6663
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Nov 2004
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posted May 09, 2008 09:31 AM
I'm glad you told your story, LEXX
I know what kind of courage it took to do that, in a place where you have been judged before. Perhaps it might shatter some expectations.....Sharing your pain and the mold you were forced into before you had a choice, will hopefully bring enlightenment to some who are presently living in the dark, and bring a similar courage to others who are at dawn's gate..... Love & Hugs,
K'Z IP: Logged |
oneruledbymars
Knowflake Posts: 54
From: South Carolina, USA
Registered: Apr 2008
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posted May 09, 2008 10:49 AM
Incredible story LEXX! Its amazing that damage we have to overcome in our lives. Wishing you love and light. You are just a beautiful soul here, and we all embrace you as such.------------------
Aries Sun
Moon Sag
Scorpio Rising IP: Logged |
lechien
Knowflake Posts: 194
From: Germany
Registered: Apr 2008
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posted May 09, 2008 10:54 AM
LEXX you are wonderful... HUG
lechien IP: Logged |
deuxantares
Knowflake Posts: 285
From: Female, Dubai
Registered: Nov 2006
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posted May 09, 2008 01:04 PM
LEXX if it's true that we chose the circumstances that we were born into, then you must be one really brave soul; you elected to be in a life that faint-hearted souls would not be able to handle. my hats off to you!  IP: Logged |
oneruledbymars
Knowflake Posts: 54
From: South Carolina, USA
Registered: Apr 2008
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posted May 09, 2008 01:07 PM
Thats true deux. What an amazing soul. Are you attracted to both sexes equally LEXX, or one over the other, just curious?IP: Logged |
ListensToTrees
Knowflake Posts: 4913
From: Infinity
Registered: Jul 2005
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posted May 09, 2008 01:42 PM
Lexx....  You're amazing.  Please always remember:  IP: Logged |
Unmoved
Knowflake Posts: 1205
From: Born in S.Africa
Registered: Jun 2007
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posted May 09, 2008 01:44 PM
I am happy that the day finally happened when you didn't care what "they" will think. Love you as always Unmoved. I'm very proud of you! Incredibly proud. added: I will think of you when I need courage. IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 12446
From: CA, USA
Registered: May 2005
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posted May 09, 2008 02:32 PM
Trying to understand the ramifications of what you told us is probably impossible. I can imagine a frame of reference, but I doubt it would come close to the depth of your experience. It seems to me like so few people would be really suited and able to empathize with the totality of your experience.I am sorry you didn't feel this place tolerant enough [to feel safe] to admit this previously, but I'm thankful that your doing so has been well received. I hope you feel the love and acceptance. AG IP: Logged |
fieryscales
Moderator Posts: 511
From: My own private world
Registered: Jan 2008
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posted May 09, 2008 03:08 PM
Wow Lexx  that really is something to have gone through and also to pluck up the courage to say so on this forum-really courageous soul you are It wont change the relationship we have. In fact I think I can tell you anything I can, in private, knowing you won't judge me. Thank you  IP: Logged |
praecipua
Knowflake Posts: 617
From: england
Registered: Aug 2007
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posted May 09, 2008 04:30 PM
edit: sorry lexxsorry MysticMelody IP: Logged |
Unmoved
Knowflake Posts: 1205
From: Born in S.Africa
Registered: Jun 2007
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posted May 09, 2008 07:36 PM
quote:
I can tell you anything I can, in private, knowing you won't judge me
LEXX is one of the least judgmental people I know. Her directness can be viewed as insolence, but trust me, she is always merely trying to understand the depths of a situation. She holds her opinions but she allows you yours, and even cements your beliefs by making sure that you have explored all possibilities. She sort of has this compassion that desires you to make sure that you know what you're saying. This day was inevitable. IP: Logged |
MysticMelody
Moderator Posts: 3816
From:
Registered: Dec 2005
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posted May 09, 2008 07:37 PM
Prae, I totally was going to say something very similar but I removed it from the bottom of my post because I want to keep the energy level high in this thread. Will you pretty please remove the last sentence? thank you thank you **I went ahead and removed just a couple words... I think the idea is still completely there ** IP: Logged |
fieryscales
Moderator Posts: 511
From: My own private world
Registered: Jan 2008
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posted May 09, 2008 07:40 PM
Unmoved-Yes I know that Lexx is non-judgmental as her and I have spoken privately in the past!IP: Logged |
Unmoved
Knowflake Posts: 1205
From: Born in S.Africa
Registered: Jun 2007
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posted May 09, 2008 07:44 PM
LOL - fieryscales - I was agreeing with you when I posted. IP: Logged |
LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 818
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat......... fayte1954@hotmail.com LEXIGRAMMING
Registered: Jan 2008
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posted May 09, 2008 08:18 PM
writesomething
26taurus
Again thanks so much for your understanding!
MysticMelody
I apologize for hi-jacking your thread.
BTW...I do not mind what praecipua posted!
He is right. It was very mean and unpleasant, and caused me terrible stress. That fact should not be deleteted. I wanted to say far worse! There are folks who claim to be non homophobic but are secretly homophobic.
However you are the moderator.
And yes, I am blessed and loved!
Love Enigma.
Kal_El
Yes the Native American cultures as many ancient ones
honored the androgyne/hermaphrodite/two spirited ones!
Thanks for your kind words!IP: Logged |
LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 818
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat......... fayte1954@hotmail.com LEXIGRAMMING
Registered: Jan 2008
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posted May 09, 2008 08:27 PM
BlueRoamer
My apologies for not telling you.
Heart--Shaped Cross
You were curious....
Well now you know my terrible secret!
I did not have a sex change. I am not transgendered as you were led to believe by some.
I am both male and female physically, but forced into a female mold which has
more often than not failed and does not function correctly.
Basically just like a male to female guy, maintenance is required
that a total female need not worry about. Nuff said on that issue.
They did not bother to really check to see that while I looked
more like a boy at birth, that I also did not have certain important
female external bits and internally my bone structure is male. I scared the midwives
and doctor something awful whilst giving birth, as it was not discovered
until then that my male pelvis could not separate as a
real total female's does during the birthing process,
and my having a birth canal that was partially artificially created...
well suffice it to say, I did give birth naturally but broke his collar bones on his
way into the world and I required rather extensive plastic surgery to recreate
a new mock vagina, as the experience totally destroyed for the most part my
old mostly artifically created one. It is a shear miracle I could even carry a child to term
and give birth. I still found it an amazingly wonderful experience despite all that!
I felt like a man giving birth! In essence I was!
I annoyed many straight real women when talking of me experience!
They said things like, "you act like you did something so special, like you were a man having a baby!"
Ha! Little did they know how close to the truth my experience was!
For that experience I a grateful. It is the only somewhat female experience besides nursing which
I found to be a positive experience though.
I am writing all this because I know folks will have questions.
Sorry for being so graphic, but I hope it helps folks understand that I am either sex physically.
I am psychologically male 98% to 100%, the tests have confirmed this fact.
Any questions..e-mail me.IP: Logged |
LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 818
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat......... fayte1954@hotmail.com LEXIGRAMMING
Registered: Jan 2008
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posted May 09, 2008 08:36 PM
Azalaksh Thank you for keeping my secret for so long and accepting me!
And for not freaking out when I showed you my bearded/mustached photos!
And you of all people know how terrified I have been about coming out when
a few tried to use it to hold control over me by way of threatening to reveal it all. Well now I am out!
Its strange how some folks talk all noble and accepting until one such as I enter their world!
Then their true attitudes come to fore.
Love and blessings to you dear BSK! Thank you for always being there and accepting me as I am. Unmoved!
You have been so wonderful and supporting too!
Your attitude towards life is one prime factor in my deciding to come out here!
Your are intelligent, inspiring, and beautiful inside and out!
My love and admiration to you dear lady!
And thanks for understanding my counseling methods! I care so very deeply about folks! I
know I can sound over protective and overbearing, but my heart means well. You said: quote:
LEXX is one of the least judgmental people I know. Her directness can be viewed as insolence, but trust me, she is always merely trying to understand the depths of a situation. She holds her opinions but she allows you yours, and even cements your beliefs by making sure that you have explored all possibilities. She sort of has this compassion that desires you to make sure that you know what you're saying.
You do know me very well! You let me be myself, you listen you are your real self with me! No pussy footing or walking on eggshells between us! I love you for all that
Dear V! I feel ours is defintely a life long friendship!
Love
LEXX
IP: Logged |
LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 818
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat......... fayte1954@hotmail.com LEXIGRAMMING
Registered: Jan 2008
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posted May 09, 2008 08:41 PM
oneruledbymars Nice to meet you and thanks ever so much for the kind words!
Ah, you asked... quote:
Are you attracted to both sexes equally LEXX, or one over the other, just curious?
I went through years of utter confusion. I did not find out until I was an adult what had been done to me.
I experimented and did have both male and female lovers. However mostly male ones, and mostly bi or gay.
Straight men turn me off. They want only a real woman. I am to mentally male minded for them.
Women, with them it was interesting but did nothing for me. Oddly most Lesbians were not interested in me.
I was too male for them despite my looks. It was strange, it was straight girls and women who kept falling for me.
I am as a perfect gentleman towards the ladies. I have heard too many times, "why can't you be a real man?"...
to which I reply, "honey if I were, I'd be totally gay and it still would not work".
I have sadly unintentionally hurt a few women who fell in love with me,
and have had to deal with the vengeances of them as scorned women.
"Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned" is so very true!
My fantasies and dreams as long as I can remember, like as young as 4,
(that in itself is an oddity) are of me being a man with a man.
NEVER am I ever a woman in those.
And so as the psyche test showed when I was seeking a full sex change to male proved,
I am a gay male in here! Thankfully the gay men in my life recognize that and accept me!
Financial and health issues have prevented my having myself physically restored/made into, what I should be.
IP: Logged |
LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 818
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat......... fayte1954@hotmail.com LEXIGRAMMING
Registered: Jan 2008
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posted May 09, 2008 08:42 PM
lechien Nice meeting you too and thanks for the kind words ever so muchly!
ListensToTrees Thanks again sweet gentle lady for keeping my secret so faithfully!
Much love and blessings to you!IP: Logged |
LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 818
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat......... fayte1954@hotmail.com LEXIGRAMMING
Registered: Jan 2008
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posted May 09, 2008 08:43 PM
AcousticGod
I wanted to tell you a long time back, I kinda figured you had guessed in part though.
I became quite gun shy when I naively told a few people who then went weird on me.
So no, I did not feel at all safe revealing it until now.
Like I said, I finally just got so damn tired of hiding it.
Now perhaps knowing it up front, only folks who can handle that knowledge
will befriend me, and no more rude surprises will come at me from folks
whom I thought would understand. Thanks for understanding.
Magus knew, bless him too! He was the first I told.
And dear Peajie too! Both men really were kind and accepting of my being different.
IP: Logged |
LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 818
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat......... fayte1954@hotmail.com LEXIGRAMMING
Registered: Jan 2008
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posted May 09, 2008 08:44 PM
fieryscales Dear fellow! Before you came out of your closet I so very much wanted to tell you too.
I was so proud of your courage when you came out! You said:
quote:
It wont change the relationship we have. In fact I think I can tell you anything I can, in private, knowing you won't judge me.
Of course it changes nothing dear! However now I think you realize why I was so easily able to understand you! And I never judged you! I only want you to be very careful as not to get hurt or catch any STDs!
Blessings and love to you!
praecipua
Yes some folks can be awful. I am sure you know what I mean. If not then you have been very lucky!
Hope to hear from you by e-mail!
Blessings to you too!
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Azalaksh
Knowflake Posts: 6663
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Nov 2004
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posted May 09, 2008 09:55 PM
Fayte/LBF 
I hope your spirit feels much lighter now, dear friend 
Let the winds of change sweep the last vestiges of your years-long fear away, you are free!!I find it very very interesting, and I just have to smile about astrology -- but transiting Pluto is only 18 minutes from your Ascendant and applying  Transiting Uranus just changed houses from your 2nd to 3rd -- something that only happens about once every 7 years and is a herald of change. Note that the 3rd house (among other things) is an area of all types of Communication  The transiting Moon today was opposed to your nChiron, the Centaur asteroid of Healing -- and tJupiter just conjuncted your nChiron and is separating. tMars just changed signs into Leo and is squaring your nMercury.
Freeing yourself from the secrecy was written in the stars -- it was time K'Z IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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