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Author
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Topic: Same Sex Sexual Soul Unions
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Unmoved
Knowflake Posts: 1205
From: Born in S.Africa
Registered: Jun 2007
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posted May 09, 2008 10:26 PM
 
I second Zala.  The truth has set you free. Transparency, Truth, Love, Godliness, and Freedom are eternal gifts from the Creator. When we receive these gifts, we receive salvation from all evils brought about by man. Although many fear being preyed on for being vulnerable, it is this very vulnerability which preserves and protects us. you can quote me on that   IP: Logged |
MysticMelody
Moderator Posts: 3816
From:
Registered: Dec 2005
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posted May 09, 2008 10:41 PM
Enigma, you didn't hijack anything. That is what this thread is for...
It fills me with joy that you can now see and feel the love and support that I knew others here feel. I wasn't sure if I worded it right, but it looks like it was good enough.
It's a blessing.
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LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 818
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat......... fayte1954@hotmail.com LEXIGRAMMING
Registered: Jan 2008
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posted May 10, 2008 12:12 AM
Zala/BSK!  quote:
Fayte/LBF 
I hope your spirit feels much lighter now, dear friend
Let the winds of change sweep the last vestiges of your years-long fear away, you are free!!
I do feel free! And more than a bit overwhelmed by the wonderful responses! That was unexpected! I cried, I laughed! I cried some more! And sighed and smiled with great relief!
My family disowned me years ago over this. My ex#1 & 2 could not handle it even though they are bi. My best friend since 1969 has been a blessing. He is gay. My other gay men in my life are wonderful! Those closest to me see me as a gay man...heh heh, albeit with a handicap. Sigh. One makes do. It is hard though being as I am. I do not naturally fit in the straight or gay world. Unmoved!
I am quoting you! quote:
The truth has set you free. Transparency, Truth, Love, Godliness, and Freedom are eternal gifts from the Creator. When we receive these gifts, we receive salvation from all evils brought about by man.Although many fear being preyed on for being vulnerable, it is this very vulnerability which preserves and protects us.
You are so wise! A true treasure and joy you are!
Love
LexxIP: Logged |
LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 818
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat......... fayte1954@hotmail.com LEXIGRAMMING
Registered: Jan 2008
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posted May 10, 2008 12:27 AM
MysticMelody!
quote:
Enigma, you didn't hijack anything. That is what this thread is for...
It fills me with joy that you can now see and feel the love and support that I knew others here feel. I wasn't sure if I worded it right, but it looks like it was good enough.
It's a blessing.
Thank you!
Your words are lovely!
And very muchly appreciated!
Love to you MM! 
Love
Enigma!
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oneruledbymars
Knowflake Posts: 54
From: South Carolina, USA
Registered: Apr 2008
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posted May 10, 2008 01:14 AM
Nice to meet you too LEXX! And I am still floored by your story, it keeps getting more and more amazing as you share it. Truly amazing....XOXOXO------------------
Aries Sun
Moon Sag
Scorpio Rising IP: Logged |
jane
Knowflake Posts: 1347
From:
Registered: Nov 2006
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posted May 10, 2008 01:41 AM
 Wow. Thank you LEXX for sharing something so personal and wounding for you, and thank you Mystic Melody for starting this thread. This really feels like a case of "when the student is ready, the master appears." Except in this case, it's when the story is ready to be told, the opportunity to do so will appear. I'm so happy that you had the opportunity to share this LEXX, and I hope you're flying high right now. It's crazy to me how we'll feel shame over something that we should not be ashamed of. To me, what's shameful is treating someone cruelly. Rejecting someone for being different is cruel, shamefully so. Plus, idiotic. It boggles my mind that anyone gives a damn, that anyone would think being androgyne is something that makes a person deserving of unkindness. It's simply who you are, says nothing about what you value or how you treat people. And on those two fronts, you're absolutely beautiful, and your true androgyne self is a thing of beauty too (Keats knew what he was talking about  ). So rock on with your powerful honest self. But man do I hate fags.
(Just kidding! But I'll delete it if others see hate and not humor in that.) IP: Logged |
LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 818
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat......... fayte1954@hotmail.com LEXIGRAMMING
Registered: Jan 2008
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posted May 10, 2008 02:52 AM
jane
Thank you!
I have NEVER felt any shame whatsoever over being me.
It is the ridicule and fears of violence against me and rejection which has caused me much grief. Its being teased in the locker room
by the other girls. It was as a teen being teased when my beard and mustache needed a shave.
One place I did fit in was at Gold's Gym before becoming disabled in an industrial accident. I maxed out the women's gym in a few days and was sent to train with the guys! Many were gay muscle men! It was absolutely wonderful!
I could squat 600 pounds and curl with my forearm 120 pounds. Wrist curls of 90 pounds and hanging from a bar upside down by my knees doing sit ups with a 90 pound plate on my chest for more resistance! That was one of the few times in my life to date when I really felt like I belonged!
Then my world crashed and I experienced years of disabling semi paralysis and more troubles to follow as the years rolled on.
But shame over being an androgyne? NEVER!
The teasing was cruel, but I did not feel shame. It was more like confusion. I never felt I was a freak but others made me wonder if I was. Living in what I term "female perma drag" is difficult too.
As a little child I took the Pinocchio story to heart.
When I saw the movie "AI" I totally lost it. It brought back all those memories of when I was 4 and 5, believing in fairy tales and thinking a real blue fairy could turn me into a real boy! It was not until I was raped by a straight man at age nine that I realized I was not going to ever meet the Blue Fairy and get my wish.
I posted this elsewhere, but it illustrates my feelings at age 4 and 5.
Written much later, but is all how I felt.
Musings on the inequities of life at about age 5, put into words much later.
IP: Logged |
jane
Knowflake Posts: 1347
From:
Registered: Nov 2006
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posted May 10, 2008 03:46 AM
Oh man. That poem, especially following your post about what you've been through, was that perfect kind of sad. The kind that real poets make you feel.  I'm sorry for being unclear in my other post. I didn't mean that you yourself were ashamed. Quite the opposite, and that's what makes your self-expression so lovely! I meant that others who have reacted so cruelly have linked this truth about yourself with pain, that they have attempted to shame you into hiding or face the risk of more cruelty. And I love that you know that you, not they, have the final say in how you feel about who you are. That you have so much self-love and respect for what's true that you're able to share something about yourself that you've been taught by the foolish is something you should hide in a shameful corner, but you know that that's not at all where it belongs. IP: Logged |
ListensToTrees
Knowflake Posts: 4913
From: Infinity
Registered: Jul 2005
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posted May 10, 2008 06:12 AM
Lexx, I'm so moved right now....beyond words right now. I'm sorry for all the pain you've been through in your life. I just want to hug you. {{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}
You are beautiful.
IP: Logged |
ListensToTrees
Knowflake Posts: 4913
From: Infinity
Registered: Jul 2005
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posted May 10, 2008 07:08 AM
Have you ever considered writing a book about your experiences, Lexx? I feel there is much you could teach the world.
Then again, writing a book would probably be quite tiring (physically, emotionally, etc).But I feel so proud to have you as a friend. Thank you for being so brave, for sharing your story; your soul, with us here. IP: Logged |
lechien
Knowflake Posts: 194
From: Germany
Registered: Apr 2008
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posted May 10, 2008 08:20 PM
LEXX, i've only joined very recently, but your story alone really makes me glad that i did. i live in a quite liberated environment where gender differences are often ignored in terms of sex and relationships, and that is very comfortable for me as i feel that that is how it should be. i hope for the day when everyone just accepts differences, ANY differences in that aspect, just like we accept how our names are different. you are a very admirable person. really great. thank you for sharing your story. IP: Logged |
silverstone
Moderator Posts: 2824
From:
Registered: Mar 2006
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posted May 12, 2008 12:45 AM
Lexx, I love you __________________________________________________________________________________________ Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year....
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep. ~Robert Frost IP: Logged |
LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 818
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat......... fayte1954@hotmail.com LEXIGRAMMING
Registered: Jan 2008
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posted May 12, 2008 02:11 AM
jane! Thank you! I have wanted to share those feelings for a very long time! Well like some nearly 50 years to date!
IP: Logged |
LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 818
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat......... fayte1954@hotmail.com LEXIGRAMMING
Registered: Jan 2008
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posted May 12, 2008 02:13 AM
ListensToTrees Again I thank you for keeping my secret and letting me spill to you! You really helped me alot!
Blessings to you dear lady!{{{HUGS}}}
And yes, I am writing a book. IP: Logged |
LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 818
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat......... fayte1954@hotmail.com LEXIGRAMMING
Registered: Jan 2008
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posted May 12, 2008 02:17 AM
lechien Thank you for your kind words!
I have heard that people in Germany are more tolerant of all this. So it is true then? 
Cool! 
PS.I have been at LL since 2005 but under my old user name,"fayte.m".IP: Logged |
LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 818
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat......... fayte1954@hotmail.com LEXIGRAMMING
Registered: Jan 2008
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posted May 12, 2008 02:19 AM
silverstone!
You know I love you too my friend!
Thanks for keeping my secret too!
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fieryscales
Moderator Posts: 511
From: My own private world
Registered: Jan 2008
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posted May 12, 2008 05:10 AM
and  to ALL!IP: Logged |
ListensToTrees
Knowflake Posts: 4913
From: Infinity
Registered: Jul 2005
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posted May 12, 2008 06:47 AM
Wonderful! IP: Logged |
wheelsofcheese
Knowflake Posts: 476
From: UK
Registered: Jan 2008
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posted May 12, 2008 08:07 AM
Lexx! I am in awe. I am honoured to be aquainted with such a strong person. Thank you. IP: Logged |
goatgirl
Knowflake Posts: 1144
From: Anywhere
Registered: Jul 2002
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posted May 12, 2008 08:28 AM
Lexx,I admire you so much for sharing this very special and private part of yourself here with us. I am so glad to know you and count myself blessed that our paths crossed. Thank you for your courage, and strength, and depths of compassion! Love,
Amanda ------------------
The truth is ... everything counts. Everything. Everything we do and everything we say. Everything helps or hurts; everything adds to or takes away from someone else. ~ Countee Cullen We are weaving character every day, and the way to weave the best character is to be kind and to be useful. Think right, act right; it is what we think and do that makes us who we are. ~ Elbert Hubbard The simple act of caring is heroic. ~ Edward Albert IP: Logged |
Yin
Knowflake Posts: 1464
From:
Registered: May 2004
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posted May 12, 2008 09:00 AM
LEXX, I have often wondered whether you were male or female.
When reading your posts, I have noticed your allusions to being different and knowing things from both male and female perspectives. And then I saw your picture in an album of other pictures - some of males that looked like you and some of females.
So in a way I knew... but that made no difference to me... and although I don't post much here, I read a LOT!
I think you are a remarkable person and I am glad our paths have crossed.  IP: Logged |
LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 818
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat......... fayte1954@hotmail.com LEXIGRAMMING
Registered: Jan 2008
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posted May 12, 2008 01:33 PM
wheelsofcheese
Glad to have met you too! I do not reply to everyone, but I read many posts, including yours pretty woman!
Thank you for your kind words!
PS.I have been at LL since 2005 but under my old user name,"fayte.m".goatgirl
Thank you listening to me so many times. And helping with past life research.
I wish there were some way I could help you with the trials going on in your world.
Blessings and love to you Amanda!{{{HUGS}}} oneruledbymars 
Thanks again!
BTW......
PS.I have been at LL since 2005 but under my old user name,"fayte.m". IP: Logged |
LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 818
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat......... fayte1954@hotmail.com LEXIGRAMMING
Registered: Jan 2008
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posted May 12, 2008 01:40 PM
Yin!
I am very very curious as to exactly what album you saw with my pictures in it.
I am happy to meet you too! And I am glad those things about me you suspected did not freak you out!
Blessings to you!
IP: Logged |
Yin
Knowflake Posts: 1464
From:
Registered: May 2004
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posted May 12, 2008 03:24 PM
They were in your photobucket album...long time ago. I stumbled upon them when you posted some other pictures here on LL.IP: Logged |
LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 818
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat......... fayte1954@hotmail.com LEXIGRAMMING
Registered: Jan 2008
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posted May 12, 2008 03:29 PM
Probably when it was glitching then. The album is private but yeah long ago it glitched somehow.  Not my best pictures either. Some were were from my medical files.IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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