posted August 29, 2021 06:50 PM              

Oh yes, I know, the song (sharing same) was meant to be somewhat bitterly ironic in that sense (and the song chosen, because it also has a sense/feel of some bitter irony in same, though in a somewhat different way).

posted September 06, 2021 06:11 PM              

I was wondering what that song by Crosby, Stills, and Nash, "Helplessly Hoping" meant or means to you? This is the second time that you have shared it here at L.L.'s. Last time was awhile back. It must have some kind of deeper meaning for you?

Does this stanza in particular have some deeper meaning for you?

posted September 25, 2021 01:19 PM              

Edgar Cayce called Uranus that of the extremes, psychic, and the unusual. It sounds like Uranus might be a strong planet in your chart. People with strong Uranus often times feel somewhat like they are walking a tightrope between creativity, intuition, and madness/imbalance. People that are predominant Uranians often go to extremes in various ways, and can flip on a dime from one moment being elated and feeling super great, to the next moment, down in the pits of despair, and seemingly out of nowhere with no outside reason or catalyst.

But part of it is their acute psychic sensitivity. They can pick up on other levels of life, self, others, etc, and if that contains pain, darkness, or the like, it can affect them often more than they consciously realize.

Having Scorpio Moon would only tend to exacerbate such tendencies as it is a sensitive placement as well, both in an emotional and intuitive sense.

You don't come off like a typical Aries Sun in a lot of ways. Often people with Aries Sun are quite direct, and out there with who they are, what they think, feel, etc. You seem to have a more Yin and hidden and quiet kind of energy in some ways than the typical person with very strong Aries.

Oh, I imagine that your current self is both much stronger in some ways than your younger self, and perhaps also in some ways, less so. When we are children, our hearts tend to be more open and thus more spontaneous and fearless. I sense some fear, wariness, and guardedness in you--especially fear of vulnerability.

But I think you are probably already consciously aware of, and working on that. And there is nothing wrong with that or with you, you're beautiful the way that you are. I can relate; spent the first 21/22 years of my life being like a silent monk. Barely ever talked, kept so much to myself and within.

Looking at me now, it's hard to believe that I'm the same person in some respects. Much of the earlier guardedess etc came from being very, very, very deeply sensitive and empathic*, combined with having a lot of difficult social experiences with my fellow humans. Wasn't always treated well by others, and so kind of just "clammed up".

Anyways, looking forward to hearing about some of your experiences, but whenever you are feeling ready. And if not, that is ok too.

* Had a dream years ago about observing this young man who I knew had dolphin genetics in him. It didn't express in any overt, physical way, but he was highly sensitive and telepathic. Some scientists found him, and wanted to study him because they thought they could learn something valuable from him. However, there was a big problem. He didn't verbally talk, like at all.

So they found my partner, because for some reason they though that she would be able to communicate with "dolphin boy". As they spent more and more time together, he did start verbally talking more and more.

For a long time, didn't realize what the dream meant, but one day it dawned on me, "Oh, I was 'dolphin boy'". And indeed, meeting my partner who I have a twin soul connection with (I believe we can have more than one twin soul connection* since our Expanded self level often has multiple Souls incarnated into the same space/time cycle), did have an opening up effect on my heart and thus also on my communication patterns.

* I used to believe/think that I had met another one. I had never felt so intensely for anyone in my life, not even my partner. It seemed like that was because besides the twin soul connection we had shared a direct, literal past life together where we became extremely close and merged--to the point of conscious telepathy, which even in that Age (the beginning of Leo), was somewhat unusual between humans, though not completely unheard of by any means.

But I don't know what to believe anymore about her and that situation. Though I don't like it, part of me still deeply misses and longs for her regardless of what I prefer to think and/or feel.

posted October 02, 2021 12:38 PM              

I've found that the more attuned I am to my Expanded self/Solar level (and to divine Love), the more I tend to be more consistent and less affected by outer things, events, and energies, but I've found that it is not easy in this world to hold that space/attunement.