posted September 29, 2009 12:29 PM              

i just want to say i am sorry for everyone who has difficult relationships with their moms. i remember what it was like, and it took me years to get past it. i had such a huge sigh of relief when i realized my mom was who she was, for pretty good reasons, and she did the best she could...and me too!

i think so much of the damage our parents do is because they live in fear that we will come to harm if they don't steer and control us. i spent a lot of my own mothering years trying not to give into this impulse, to trust my child to be who she is and find her own path...not all the time for sure, but as much as i could...only to have it thrown in my face when she was 21! but we have passed through that awkward stage and i am watching the flowering of a self-directed, loving and smart young woman...who still calls me on it whenever i get "in her business" but who also regularly shows me what unconditional love is all about.