posted September 29, 2009 12:29 PM              

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i third that i can't imagine you making anyone here uncomfortable, T.

i just want to say i am sorry for everyone who has difficult relationships with their moms. i remember what it was like, and it took me years to get past it. i had such a huge sigh of relief when i realized my mom was who she was, for pretty good reasons, and she did the best she could...and me too!

i think so much of the damage our parents do is because they live in fear that we will come to harm if they don't steer and control us. i spent a lot of my own mothering years trying not to give into this impulse, to trust my child to be who she is and find her own path...not all the time for sure, but as much as i could...only to have it thrown in my face when she was 21! but we have passed through that awkward stage and i am watching the flowering of a self-directed, loving and smart young woman...who still calls me on it whenever i get "in her business" but who also regularly shows me what unconditional love is all about.

my bet would be that most of your mothers admire you and are proud of you even though they don't show it. fear is a pretty normal (if not right) state for people to live in. and society drums it into us that we are to blame if our kids eff up...

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posted April 10, 2013 10:30 PM            

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posted April 11, 2013 11:03 AM            

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posted April 14, 2013 11:59 PM            

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Randall

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posted May 26, 2024 04:57 PM            

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Do those of you currently here in LindaLand experience the magic of it opening like a book to the perfect page to speak to you in the moment you need to hear it?

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posted May 26, 2024 06:01 PM            

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No, but I’ve experienced it on other sites.

I had a mostly good relationship with my mum, but we had our issues, too. When I was a kid, and from 2011 on. I thought we were fixing our relationship, when she died. I was messed up from everything that happened, and I still am. Sometimes I can be practical, and understand why my sister did what she did (her own astronomical fears), but not my mother.

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posted February 25, 2025 03:36 PM            

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16 years later and for the last 10 years I’ve taken the advice of katatonic. I decided I was having a nice relationship with my mother whether she liked it or not. Things changed over time and last year she finally spoke to me. When I told her I had never felt or thought she loved me, she said that was ridiculous and all mothers loved their daughters. I laughed and said I never felt it and she didn’t say it. All of this was brought on by MY daughter going through teenage years in her early twenties and deciding to not talk to me anymore since I was so cruel as to expect her to get a job and have her own apartment at 19 if she wasn’t going to let us pay for her to go to college while she stays living at home. The boyfriend’s mother demonized me and had my daughter move in with her and the boyfriend. My daughter lost the efficiency a few blocks away from home where I had set her up with everything she needed and bills that someone could pay only working a part time job. She lost her lease and then moved with the creepy people to the city and hasn’t talked to me since. If she dies I won’t even know.
My child has made a foolish mistake but I guess that’s growing up. I have been devastated for over a year (seems like eternity) and she doesn’t care. I write to her that I love her and I invite her to holidays and other special times. I was and still am a great mother and I have bent backwards and tied myself in knots to make sure she had everything she needed. She had more attention and love and support than I ever had with two parents. Maybe she will figure things out and have the strength/mental and emotional fortitude to escape the psychic vampire crew she’s feeding or maybe I’ve lost the person I’ve loved more than anyone else in this lifetime.

What I KNOW is that I’ve given it my all and then some and that I pray she sees things clearly. I taught her to think for herself. I hope that is still there inside her.

Maybe I’ll write a “Daughter” poem.

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~ did you ever get the chance to dance along the Light of day? ~

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posted February 26, 2025 06:53 AM            

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