posted October 16, 2009 08:41 PM         

quote:

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So Unmoved, you actually sent him the email and in it you said you loved him?

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No. no, no. nooooooo!
LOL

I said that I would prefer if he didn't renew his contract and came home instead. I said that I was the positive in coming back home, the benefit. I also said that I would keep him busy that he wouldn't miss Korea that much. I also expressed that I would flip if I only get to see him in 2011.

posted October 16, 2009 08:45 PM         

So it was a flirty "read between the lines and see what I'm really trying to tell you buddy" kind of email? That works too, if you don't want to show your hand yet.

Love is more like poker than war sometimes, don't you think?

posted October 16, 2009 08:51 PM         

quote:

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So it was a flirty "read between the lines and see what I'm really trying to tell you buddy" kind of email? That works too, if you don't want to show your hand yet.

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Yes.

The cahones are coming later.

posted October 16, 2009 10:19 PM         

quote:

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Well, you know. You could be onto something I wasn't yet aware of. Initially I just found it incredible how you can turn off so quickly to something that was so life changing and incredible. The thing is, i seldom fall in love, and when I do it lasts a while, regardless of the circumstances. So, I just couldn't fathom how you could shut down do quickly about something that was more than a crush.

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I can turn it on and off so quickly because it was only a month. It WAS just a crush. It was so new. Not real. He and I both knew this.

He never talks to me anymore, so what am I supposed to do? Pine for him? That's not my thing. At first I held out hope, but it's obviously now over, so I am looking to the future. Being an aqua really helps, I guess. Besides, it was only a month and I knew this would happen anyway. I was prepared. I still hope he is happy, no ill will. It is what it is, and it was fun. I really enjoyed our time together. I miss talking to him and wish we never got into the romantic zone, because then we could still be good friends, but I don't think he wants that.

See, I am the eternal optimist. I look to the future. He knew if something happened I would find someone else, because I told him I would. I said "I'd be upset, but I'd find someone else. There are plenty of men out there."

I don't fall in love ever. Aqua, remember? I am very gunshy with that stuff. I wasn't in love with him, but I did really like him. I don't regret liking him. I am glad I did. It was a nice feeling.

He also, unbeknownst to him and unplanned, helped me to figure out what I want to do about a lot of things. I may have done the same for him. I hope I did.

I don't think your situation is the same. You two have a more real history and connection. Besides, he isn't a pisces. I had no idea until after this happened that pisces men do this all the time! Glad I didn't know until afterwards, because it may have ruined it for me.

STARR:

Sorry for hijacking your thread! I do think all of us just want to talk about our screwed up pseudo-relationships, though, and not really astrology. We do all share the weird IC/AC MC/DC connection, so maybe we'll all figure something out here...?

It IS like poker! One good thing about him, he taught me how to play poker, and I often think of that and feel it isn't a total loss, lol. I'm being serious.

I would also wait for scorpio to respond. I hate chasing people. I really don't do it at all.

wow, this was really long!

posted October 16, 2009 10:29 PM         

No pining allowed! I hate it when men go all distant on you. But I appreciate your insights into the Aqua mind because the guy I'm dating is an Aqua and I really don't get him sometimes. I know he cares but he can go off in his own little world for days at a time and be ok with not communicating and I'm like "Hello, I'm here!" Drives me nuts.

I think I will be in the same predicament as you if things don't work out with my Aqua guy: wishing that we had stayed just friends. It is very, very hard to go back to a normal friendship with someone after you've been romantically involved. The dynamic is forever altered, unfortunately.

As far as your observations about Scorpio, yeah I'm surprised there isn't more Pluto activity either, but then again, I'm not...I think the gods were merciful and decided not to add anymore Pluto crap than there already was!

We've been having this weird IM conversation tonight that is reminding me of why we always end up imploding in the end...when there are only 2 people interacting, if they are both playing poker face it makes for loooooooooong standoffs. Sigh. He is the type of person who hates feeling vulnerable and so am I. He also wants to be in control, and so do I. He's like the male version of me, but far more extreme. It's his way or the highway.

Must everything with Scorpios involve power, games, and manipulation?

posted October 16, 2009 10:54 PM         

In the case of who makes the first move, I suppose it all depends on what you want. For me, if I want something, I really don't care who makes the first move, as long as I get what I want in the end.

Umm.. did I mention that I have AC, Mars, Jupiter, Eros and other nicknacks in dear ol' Scorpio. Mars is dignified in 1st house, so I couldn't be arsed as to what another thinks, as long as in the end I am smiling because I have what I want. It sounds calculative, and it probably is.

If I was in your shoes, and wanted to resolve things with Scorpio, I would make the first move. BUT, I am usually either or when it comes to having people in my life, so it would be either I want him back in my life or not. So, maybe before you decide to speak to him, decide what you want from him, if anything. Then take the necessary actions derived from your desires.

Diana~ Gosh, what's wrong with me? I take yo too seriously, or something. I thought you were moving in with him or thinking of it, or he invited you too - which to me spelled serious, and not crush because I am the loner type and I would have to bleddy worship the ground you walk on before I move in with you. So, I thought it was serious.

If it was just a crush, then... I understand your reaction now. It is not the same as me and my dude.

posted October 16, 2009 10:54 PM         

Your aqua will have periods when he needs his space. I doubt that will change. We literally need it to be sane. We recharge and decompress, and too much people interaction drains us. I am like living with a ghost.

posted October 16, 2009 10:58 PM         

We almost DID move into together, lol! We actually looked at a place. So nuts! It really was just a crush, but it was very intense and weird. I am also not one to move in with anyone, which I guess makes it even weirder. I have no idea what the hell happened to me with him...

posted October 17, 2009 09:20 AM         

Diana:

Thanks for the additional insight into the Aqua mind. I agree with Unmoved that you all are not for the faint of heart. One thing about the relationship with my Aqua that I really like is that it is showing me how much I've matured in recent years. I am naturally a very clingy person and in the past, his occasional distancing and lack of need for constant communication would have driven me insane with insecurity, but now I can see that it's really not personal, it's just how he is. The one or two times that I called him on it when we first started dating, he acted very hurt that I would even think he was doing it deliberately, and I could tell I hurt HIM by misunderstanding him. So, I learned to relax and just go with the flow. Him being such a laid back person is teaching me how to be more laid back, which I desperately need since, as you can see from my history with Scorpio, I can be rather intense when left to my own devices.

And when it comes to Scorpio, there is definitely a sexual passion there. In fact, it was our sexual attraction to each other (which came through even through distance contact like phone calls and web chats), that compelled us to want to meet. It just wasn't meant to be. Calling him up when I was a few blocks away from his work was an ill-fated move. At this point, I doubt that relationship will ever be consumated. A LOT would have to happen for us to get to that point, including me ending things with Aqua guy and us resolving the emotional fallout from my long-term relationship and breakup with his friend, with whom he is still good friends. That right there makes it weird. For now, I just want to see where this new willingness to talk to each other leads. Sometimes I wonder if something Unmoved said earlier isn't true--if at this point the attraction factor is NOT meeting and having all this angst.

Unmoved:

I'm running off to read your thread now, whoohoo!

posted October 17, 2009 10:46 PM         

I checked his Myspace (that he doesn't know I have), and back on 9/11 a girl left him a comment that said "ILY." That was only 5 weeks ago. So either he has a girlfriend or he is in rebound mode. I'll have to consider that if he gets flirty.

In the meantime, I'm REALLY annoyed with myself for being irritated that he has a girlfriend, especially since I'm not single. It's not about him though, that's just how I am. If I don't want someone, and then they get involved with someone else, it makes them 100x more attractive to me. I hate when my exes move on from me...don't they know they should be pining away for me forever? At times I will be so upset about it that I feel compelled to seduce them again just to make sure I could have them if I wanted them.

posted October 18, 2009 06:19 PM         

Yeah it sucks. I have a Taurus Moon, so possessiveness is my destiny LOL. I think I am more possessive than jealous actually; or perhaps possessiveness is the cause of jealousy. I have given up on changing though; I long ago accepted that I'm very volatile emotionally and I've been a lot happier since then by trying to date guys who avoid triggering that.

I am really all about control, so it sucks not to be able to control my feelings. When you care, and you don't WANT to care, it is the worst feeling in the world. But at least on the OUTSIDE, it is very easy for me to put up the facade of not caring. I can be raging INSIDE emotionally, but I am very good at feigning nonchalance externally.

posted October 19, 2009 01:23 PM         

quote:

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After a certain point, such relationships sour, and the people involved begin to grow in ways contrary to nature, -- or, at least, to their own natures, -- in order to stay together.

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I disagree. How is it possible to grow against your nature? I mean, really, how do you become something that you never wanted to become? Surely, you didn't have a new personality implanted. The change ultimately comes from within and we allow it to happen.

posted October 19, 2009 02:33 PM         

That's good advice for Starr.

quote:

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I disagree. How is it possible to grow against your nature?

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I guess it depends on how we conceptualize nature. I don't think we can do anything against Nature, as a whole, but I think that Nature as a whole can override the nature of Her parts. Yes, there is a kind of Nature that we may never escape, and we'll always behave in accordance with it. But then there is also a kind of nature that corresponds to something which may be lost and found, known and unknown. Just as there is a Nature to which we all belong, and then there is the nature to which grass, trees, and clouds belong, and from which we may estrange ourselves. When we call to mind the archetype of a Nature Goddess, we see her spirit moving in rivers, trees, and sky, and not in microwaves and skyscrapers, which do indeed appear to go against this form of nature; while yet obeying some stronger, perhaps just more brutish and less benevolent, nature. I would say that certain indigenous peoples live closer to the natural world and that this also keeps them closer to a corresponding inner nature. This is where choice seems to come in. People choose to stay together, just as they choose a life of modern convenience which isolates them from the natural world. And just as we have lost touch, in large part, with that world, I think we also lose touch with some vein of truth within ourselves; something idividualistic, primal, and vital. Yes, we allow it to happen. And you may conclude that the higher nature is signified by the inertia which overrules our individualistic, pioneering and independent impulses, and leaves us floundering in outmoded relationships. I cannot argue that it is not stronger, or that it does not signify some force greater than ourselves, but only that it appears to be more external. It plays on internal weaknesses, sure, but it appears to be something which ultimately contradicts our heart's innermost -- or, at least, healthiest -- desire. The healthiest people don't follow that "nature", but the other kind.

quote:

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Relationships get into ruts and fall apart because the people involved choose to stop being responsible for their own happiness. We just get lazy. LOL

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posted October 19, 2009 11:19 PM         

Thanks for your comments, I agree with everything you said.

quote:

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Aries Moon op Mercury... and all that Scorpio/Pluto... If he's not on his best behavior, that chart will eat him -- and anyone who loves him -- alive...

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Yeah. Basically. Been there, done that. Got eaten alive.

quote:

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The theory about the angles of the chart being important here rings true with me, too. Angles move faster than any of the planets and are therefore the most personal points in a chart...But I'm sure the Scorpio/Pluto/8th house stuff is also a factor. In my experience, random, intense link-ups like this appear to happen pretty regularly between people who are heavily influenced, not just by Pluto, but by any of the outer planets (and signs and houses associated with them).

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Agreed. And that's kind of where I was going with this thread...everyone knows that Plutonian types are volatile people, but I was thinking that the combination of our two charts together with everything mixing up would make it extra combustible. I did think that what Diana and Unmoved first pointed out re: the personal nature of the chart angles and how they are aspecting was a great discovery and would explain the complexity of some of these relationships.

posted October 20, 2009 12:10 PM         

Scorps arent that volatile.
We get a bad rep there.

We definitely provoke,
but not in a sloppy way
like you described.

I'd "blame" it on the Aries Moon.

Don't let him pull you in.
He makes a lot of noise,
but there's no fireworks.

peace, love, empathy,
enantiodromia,

posted October 27, 2009 02:09 PM         

In the long run, the Moon cannot be ignored: needs too long denied, feelings too long buried, insecurities perpetually pushed aside, all eventually fester and can ultimately build us to a kind of crisis (we can) describe as lunar burnout. Essentially this is a kind of breakdown in which you are so drained from giving to others and ignoring your own needs that life's demands become too much for you."

posted October 28, 2009 10:37 PM         

It's maddening.

By the way, Scorpio and I aren't speaking again. We didn't get mad and cut each other off again, just distanced. He got very non-communicative, and fell back into his power plays and "punishment" mode, and I came to the realization that I will forever be on punishment with him...or at least longer than I care to be on punishment. If I really felt that he was "the one", I could wait forever, but...he will never trust me the way I need to be trusted. I think part of him wants to, but he stings so quickly. And then I sting back. And we fall back into the same patterns very easily. Yawn. It gets old. So we agreed that we're still cool but are going about our lives. In the meantime, I really do feel that Aquarius guy and I have something special, and perhaps this thing with Scorpio was a test...I think I might have passed it this time.

posted November 05, 2009 04:12 PM         

::rolls eyes::

Translation: I can't believe you remembered my birthday after all these years! You really do care! I'm having a crappy birthday (because otherwise I'd be out the night of my birthday, especially since I'm supposedly dating someone now, and not at home on the computer and on Twitter and Facebook) and you sooooo just gave me the warm fuzzies. So I will hang around on IM for an hour or so, and hope that you talk to me more...

Ah Scorpios. It's the little gestures that count. I should add this to the "How to Win Back a Sign" thread on Astro 2.0, LOL.

~Do something touching and sentimental for them when they least expect it~

posted November 12, 2009 11:20 AM         

With entirely self-centred, predominantly evil and undermining friends like them (who will blackball or badmouth you for the most trivial thing, or even no reason at all bar their need to be on top), who needs enemies?

posted November 12, 2009 11:44 AM         

So the next day he said he couldn't see me for several weeks and I said, "are you seeing someone else?" because I really wanted the closure. He wouldn't admit to anything, although I did get him to say that if he did have a relationship in the future it wouldn't be with me - even when we did have a relationship he always liked to suggest he might be having an affair and stick the knife in. But anyway, I was satisfied with his final answer and it was the closest he ever came to honesty. I said to him, "Can I ask you a question? Why DID you say you loved me last night?" and he said, "oh, I just wanted to cheer you up". Which at least confirmed my thoughts - that he would say ANYTHING on the spur of the moment, and then claim a bad memory, or that he never said it - champion BS-er, which I had ALWAYS thought. Nothing "deep" about that one!

What really ****** me off in the early stages of our relationship was that he went crazy over the fact that I had booked a gig at a pub he used to play at and he didn't know about it. So he badmouthed me to all his friends and his parents and told me "oh, so and so thinks you're selfish, and so and so hasn't got a good word to say about you" and I said, "wait just a minute, they wouldn't say that without a prompt, they don't even know me. YOU must have said something to them!" So, being thus exposed, he first of all denied this and then retaliated with the threat of suing.
I know that, although we agreed to be friends recently, he has been working to try and destroy me behind my back. All my electronic equipment packed up, and I swear it was because of his sending out energy. So I just retaliated by giving him a bit of his own medicine. I posted a video based on me and him on Youtube (we are two puppets and the character that's supposed to be me kills the character that's supposed to be him). He actually thought that was good, but he took exception to a diary entry I posted on Myspace because he felt it portrayed him in a negative light. I knew he had reported me to Myspace so I took the entry down - but I let one of the mental health organisations he works with (he has been faking mental illness for years to get benefits) know that he is a benefit cheat (and therefore not really entitled to resources that might benefit other people more), plus that he had been threatening to a worker at another mental health charity (with whom I had spoken, and with whom it was refreshing to discuss his behaviour, as I tended to meet his "friends" once before he got rid of them and/or started bitching about them. Or he conveniently didn't mention them in conversation even though he might have met them (and I never met them a 2nd time)because he was aware that a) one of them fancied me and b) if we got talking we might put two and two together re: his behaviour and gang up against him. One very good reason for not behaving nastily in the first place - I've seen it so many times with Scorpio or Scorpio-influenced characters). So, he can expect a taste of his own medicine with me.

Actually, I'm rather bored with even bothering to get back at him now, because he is just such a pr*ck. I am having to focus on my own self more - though people with that intensity make you feel you "need" them somehow, and I'm still trying to work out why. I don't want to read his horoscope, as it states that Scorpios are having a terrific time at the present (b*st*rds - and Aries aren't!)