Author
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Topic: Virgo Man + Dinner
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MetalAphrodite Moderator Posts: 1443 From: Registered: Jul 2012
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posted September 09, 2013 09:00 PM
So, I'm a bit confused. A person I work with from time to time asked me out to dinner, but because I don't know what context this is in and he's married, I said no already two times.Idk if I'm jumping the gun by thinking it has romantic overture. I found out he's a Virgo. Is it possible that I'm overthinking this and it's a normal friends hang-out dinner? Oi, I feel so bleh about this. IP: Logged |
hippichick Moderator Posts: 3254 From: Registered: May 2009
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posted September 10, 2013 02:36 PM
wowA Virgo player? hmmmmm Well, now, they hate being cheated on, they are usually very faithfull and loyal.
This one has me perplexed!!! I would just come out and ask him.. "dude...what's up?" t~ )~( IP: Logged |
hippichick Moderator Posts: 3254 From: Registered: May 2009
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posted September 10, 2013 02:40 PM
Still thinkin.they are "shy" Chased the be-jesus out of my Virgo dude, back and forth, back and forth...then he left me for mom... Yea, like I said I would just ask him in what context would your potential dinner be? this is very strange and quite intriguing  IP: Logged |
MetalAphrodite Moderator Posts: 1443 From: Registered: Jul 2012
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posted September 10, 2013 09:13 PM
Ikr. I fancy males with Virgo placements. I'm a bit weirded out by this because I don't understand it and I want to see his chart, but asking his birthplace would be out of line on my end lol.He started with telling me once in front of my boss that I was a sweet person. It came out of nowhere and I was not in a conversation with him. I thanked him then continued working. Another time, he and my boss were trying to set me up with his assistant. When I get frustrated, I become a bit ruthless with teasing. So, after them telling me for the millionth time that the assistant had "a nice face" and made good money, I said to him, "You have a nice face. Are you single?" He had a shocked face and my boss told me he was married. He took us out to lunch that day. He was busy one day and I tried to push him to make an appointment and said "pretty please". After picking on me and asking who was pretty(I had responded to this the person who needed the appointment can be pretty), he started calling me pretty whenever he addressed me. He asked me out to dinner twice already and I softly pushed him away and played it off. He disappeared for a while then came back last week, telling me that I can call him any time and telling me he missed me. I think this guy is cool, but bleh, this feels so un-Virgo-ish, which is why I'm thinking I've OVERthinking it @__@. Blah lol. I NEED HELP TO SORT OUT MY BRAIN! D: IP: Logged |
sugarflapjacks Knowflake Posts: 47 From: southeasternseaboard Registered: Sep 2013
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posted September 10, 2013 11:18 PM
Well, you've already said NO twice AND he is married. Hmmm, keep saying NO.IP: Logged |
sugarflapjacks Knowflake Posts: 47 From: southeasternseaboard Registered: Sep 2013
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posted September 11, 2013 02:04 AM
duplicateIP: Logged |
hippichick Moderator Posts: 3254 From: Registered: May 2009
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posted September 11, 2013 09:49 AM
I still say I would call him out on it and ask him of his intentions. Heck, even address that he is married and married men should not be asking other ladies out.I dont like the vibe of this guy. I feel he is out for no good. IP: Logged |
SDragon Knowflake Posts: 143 From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada Registered: Sep 2012
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posted September 11, 2013 12:37 PM
Same, something doesn't feel right... I suspect somewhere along the interaction, he got the impression that you weren't looking for anything serious and he could have his cake and eat it too...Not literally of course :P IP: Logged |
MetalAphrodite Moderator Posts: 1443 From: Registered: Jul 2012
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posted September 11, 2013 04:17 PM
He's backed off again. I think if he tries to do something else, I'll ask him why he's flirting with me point blank and bring up his marriage.IP: Logged |
NoRainNoRainbows Moderator Posts: 317 From: Registered: Aug 2013
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posted September 11, 2013 04:30 PM
quote: Originally posted by MetalAphrodite:
So, after them telling me for the millionth time that the assistant had "a nice face" and made good money, I said to him, "You have a nice face. Are you single?" He had a shocked face and my boss told me he was married. He took us out to lunch that day.
Well weather an Aries,Taurus,Gemini,Cancer,Leo,Virgo,Libra,Scorpio,Sagittarius,??Capricorn,Aquarius, or Pisces..... A guy is a guy, and most(i know not all) won't say no to any advance, unless they are suspicious their partner has set them up to test them. I am guessing this guy is above average intelligence, and a real asset to the company, doesn't give long sentences, you never know what he is thinking, but always 'poking' at you trying to find out what you are thinking? you can't trust him. Unless the wife or partner is in another state or country, then forget it(yes i've seen men use that and really just divorce their poor wife back home, as they need to marry the new woman they found.) you'll be the temporary thing. Set a distance already, and don't be vocal in asking him to respect (if he is as intelligent as i seem to think, he'll just see right through it, and still try to get what he wants) just keep it cold, and short with him...that simple. Also i'd watch out if i was you, this guy sounds a bit to 'enter at your own risk' territory. IP: Logged |
MetalAphrodite Moderator Posts: 1443 From: Registered: Jul 2012
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posted September 11, 2013 07:46 PM
I have a hard time with making friends so I was trying to see if I can keep him as a friend, which is why I didn't go hardcore rejection on him when he's spoken to me a few times.The answer seems to be full out "no" no matter what. Thanks for the advice and input everyone. I really needed it and definitely appreciate it. IP: Logged |
hippichick Moderator Posts: 3254 From: Registered: May 2009
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posted September 11, 2013 10:58 PM
quote: Originally posted by MetalAphrodite: I have a hard time with making friends so I was trying to see if I can keep him as a friend, which is why I didn't go hardcore rejection on him when he's spoken to me a few times.The answer seems to be full out "no" no matter what. Thanks for the advice and input everyone. I really needed it and definitely appreciate it.
YEP! NO! But I, will say again..."WTF DUDE" nicely, ofcourse...
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hippichick Moderator Posts: 3254 From: Registered: May 2009
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posted September 11, 2013 11:02 PM
And I am going to say this as nicely as I can...cause I have been there, TOO many times...What is your investment in this? If you like the attention, then, again...set boundaries... IF NOT then draw boundries right here and right now! I have, as a Pisces,, made the mistake, way too many times of "leading a man on" for the sake of attention.. Then I grew up, I am 51 now and see be-yond the games..and this guy I feel is clearly playing a game. IP: Logged |
hippichick Moderator Posts: 3254 From: Registered: May 2009
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posted September 15, 2013 09:14 AM
And I need to clarify:Virgos are good friends, for needing help with getting the job done, benig sensible, etc. But for crying on their shoulder...not especially the man. Metal: Been thinkin about this, if you truely desire a friendship with this man, then keep it without personal contact, keep it very platonic at the office, again, I dont get a good feeling about his intentions. IP: Logged |
sugarflapjacks Knowflake Posts: 47 From: southeasternseaboard Registered: Sep 2013
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posted September 15, 2013 10:18 PM
I posted a response here and now it is gone.IP: Logged |
Randall Webmaster Posts: 32555 From: Saturn next to Charmainec Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 15, 2013 11:31 PM
We lost two days of posts due to the server failing.IP: Logged |
hippichick Moderator Posts: 3254 From: Registered: May 2009
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posted September 16, 2013 02:41 AM
quote: Originally posted by sugarflapjacks: I posted a response here and now it is gone.
Yea, lessons learned. I should have rememberd this when I posted a very long, thought out, dissertaion on another thread, now the thread is completley gone. I had alot of good things to say, and so many that I could never re-iterate  I used to, copy and paste onto office when I posted something that was very heart felt,,,, But I began to trust the cyberworld again and it bit me in the arse as it did alot of the cyber world. Nothing is infallible, especially computers and the internet. I think Randall did an excellent job in saving and retriving what he could. THAT is mind-blowing to me.... kudos, Randall... t'wasnt you....as I posted in LC, there were ALOT of issues those 2 days! http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum25/HTML/004373.html IP: Logged |
NoRainNoRainbows Moderator Posts: 317 From: Registered: Aug 2013
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posted September 16, 2013 08:17 AM
Metalaphordite, this isn't a matter of horoscope at all, but a matter of type.This 'type' of guy, just uses people for as long as they are useful to them, and then will discard you away like a can of used or eaten tuna, when he's done. What these 'types' like, isn't the 'good' girl at all, instead the woman who doesn't put up with them at all. i've met so many men born all around the year who are just like that, and it's best you keep a distance, and think of ways to just keep it professional with them. i know u are thinking it could be 'useful' to you to keep such a 'smart' person within your circle for advise, which isn't what this type of guy is about at all. just keep it short and blunt with him, and know this isn't the 'sentimental' type at all. if they do they feel it'll stand in the way of their career, and those super smart people at the top aren't known for their 'charity' so to speak. now case scenario 2, if he is going through a separation or divorce with his wife, don't step in yet, or you'll like the 'other woman' and not the one who he found after he moved on, so why on Earth would u want anyone to look at you this way? better to have few or no friends, than one or two who are anything but.... IP: Logged |
MetalAphrodite Moderator Posts: 1443 From: Registered: Jul 2012
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posted September 18, 2013 06:02 PM
My intention originally was to maintain friendship, which I'm still not adverse to. There is no other "use" for him as I am with someone and I like my guy.It bothers me that I have to tackle an issue like this, instead of there being even ground between another person and I. I don't understand why everything must be complicated between two individuals or the purpose of mixed signals. I think it just stalls a person from reaching a content state of being. My brother said to me that if I decide to maintain a friendship with this guy, I have to set boundaries and tell him right away that I'm not trying to fool around because I have things I need to accomplish. I need friends or social time. I think overall, I need to develop quality friendships instead of holding on for the sake of quantity @__@. IP: Logged |
hippichick Moderator Posts: 3254 From: Registered: May 2009
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posted September 18, 2013 08:48 PM
quote: Originally posted by MetalAphrodite: My intention originally was to maintain friendship, which I'm still not adverse to. There is no other "use" for him as I am with someone and I like my guy.It bothers me that I have to tackle an issue like this, instead of there being even ground between another person and I. I don't understand why everything must be complicated between two individuals or the purpose of mixed signals. I think it just stalls a person from reaching a content state of being. My brother said to me that if I decide to maintain a friendship with this guy, I have to set boundaries and tell him right away that I'm not trying to fool around because I have things I need to accomplish. I need friends or social time. I think overall, I need to develop quality friendships instead of holding on for the sake of quantity @__@.
you have answered your own question!!!  IP: Logged |
sugarflapjacks Knowflake Posts: 47 From: southeasternseaboard Registered: Sep 2013
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posted September 19, 2013 09:56 AM
quote: Originally posted by MetalAphrodite: My intention originally was to maintain friendship, which I'm still not adverse to. There is no other "use" for him as I am with someone and I like my guy.
@Metal, if you have an SO, why don't you just tell him that you have an SO and you don't date other men? Considering that, I don't see the dilemma. I don't remember you saying in your post that you have an SO, until this one, but that you were lonely and wanted friends (and that post got deleted along with my comment to you about it). But maybe I missed something.IP: Logged |
hippichick Moderator Posts: 3254 From: Registered: May 2009
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posted September 19, 2013 10:03 AM
quote: Originally posted by sugarflapjacks: [QUOTE]Originally posted by MetalAphrodite: [b]My intention originally was to maintain friendship, which I'm still not adverse to. There is no other "use" for him as I am with someone and I like my guy.
@Metal, if you have an SO, why don't you just tell him that you have an SO and you don't date other men? Considering that, I don't see the dilemma. I don't remember you saying in your post that you have an SO, until this one, but that you were lonely and wanted friends (and that post got deleted along with my comment to you about it). But maybe I missed something.[/B][/QUOTE]I agree, but a SO does not meet all the emotional needs of a woman, necessarially. Like I already posted about men and their capacity to be there for a woman in an emotional situation. Would be best in this case to send that one flying and seek out woman friends, but depending on the age group we are talking about, women can be tyranical and difficult to be friend with until we have reached a particular level of emotional maturity.
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sugarflapjacks Knowflake Posts: 47 From: southeasternseaboard Registered: Sep 2013
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posted September 19, 2013 11:31 AM
quote: Originally posted by hippichick: I agree, but a SO does not meet all the emotional needs of a woman, necessarially.Like I already posted about men and their capacity to be there for a woman in an emotional situation......
True, I agree with that. I thought she liked him and wouldn't go out with him because he was married. Her having an SO sets a boundary for her that she wouldn't cross, right? so the fact that the guy being married and wanting to take her out to dinner wouldn't be such a difficult decision? ?
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sugarflapjacks Knowflake Posts: 47 From: southeasternseaboard Registered: Sep 2013
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posted September 19, 2013 11:37 AM
quote: Originally posted by MetalAphrodite: Another time, he and my boss were trying to set me up with his assistant. When I get frustrated, I become a bit ruthless with teasing. So, after them telling me for the millionth time that the assistant had "a nice face" and made good money, I said to him, "You have a nice face. Are you single?" He had a shocked face and my boss told me he was married.
This why I thought she was single. I guess her employer doesn't know she has an SO.IP: Logged |
MetalAphrodite Moderator Posts: 1443 From: Registered: Jul 2012
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posted September 20, 2013 12:35 AM
My SO is online and we haven't met yet. It's hard for me to discuss this at work because many people don't understand it. In the exchange between my boss, the guy, and I, they kept cutting me off before I could say anything.Bottomline, I need friends and to build a social life. My SO and I are busy people, but while I still make time for him(despite working 6 days a week and ft student), he gets easily caught up in his work and loses time. I'm not trying to go out with the other guy on a date. What I wanted was a friend. What he wanted was something entirely different. I am friends with married men and we don't have those types of problems. I like to believe in the best of others and give people the benefit of a doubt. Works with some, not with all. IP: Logged |