Author
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Topic: In Love with my Best Friend
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Mystic Melody Knowflake Posts: 878 From: IL Registered: Dec 2010
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posted June 14, 2016 01:02 AM
I present to you, in the ridiculously honest and intimate style of your old pal MM... a new/old story....I think I'm 45. Close to that... born in 71. Libra, with moon and AC in Capricorn. When I was around 16... so almost 30 years ago... I met a boy in gym class. He was tall and lanky... had that teenage boy look where he's still growing to fit his shoe size. I had just broken up with my first boyfriend (Aries football player/bmx bike racer who was good at chess, terrible in English class, and may have grown up to be an English major if my years ago cyberstalking of his Linkedin profile was accurate). He had started a detassing job and had a lot of female attention that he wanted to explore. I was righteously angry and broken hearted at the same time. I was also 16ish and lovely. The group of boys in my gym class were happy to soothe my wounds and commiserate. The tall one (a Taurus with Virgo AC and Cap moon) ended up being my favorite, though I dated the Leo who came on with full frontal romantic assault, giving me a plastic rose that very week with a card attached that said: "When this flower dies, our friendship will die... and even if it does die, we'll still be friends." I have a few good memories with the Leo, but more unhappy memories overall... one being my mother describing his overall character as a "used car salesman" and "a snake". She loved my Taurus though. Her Virgo moon saw his triple earth dependability and responsibility and she told me right away that I should marry that boy. Of course, I didn't. I had to mess around with and/or marry all of the wrong ones instead. We wrote each other some hot letters and shared a flat kiss or two as I finally and exasperatedly threw myself at him to see if there was anything romantic to our connection. According to him years later, he was always too shy to pursue a relationship, but was dying inside seeing me choose someone else over and over again. We spent all of our time together (when I wasn't dating some other guy) and he would drive me around on the back country roads while we listened to music and talked for hours. He was always there for me. Through everything. When I look back at my memories.... there he was by my side. After those few rejections (when I threw myself at him in frustration) I had come to think of him as a "brother" and my best friend. At age 17 I ran off with his best friend, another Taurus who had enough fire to pursue me in the aggressive way I understood. I broke my best friend's heart more than once... thinking there just wasn't a passionate connection between the two of us. I set him up with my friends right and left (oh the karma lol). After all... he was the perfect guy. Meanwhile, I dated and married abusers and people with substance abuse problems and Mommy issues. My best friend got snatched up by aggressive women who weren't about to wait around for HIM to be the pursuer... and I stood at his side when he got married (me wearing a short white silky dress that rudely out-shown the bride). She hated me, and with good reason, though I didn't even know it or understand it in my youth. Once she became ingrained as "the wife" (and the child that rushed the marriage was born) she was able to exercise her wifely rights and I was pretty much banished. I saw him every once in a while, we still introduced each other as "my best friend". He always kept in touch as I roamed and rambled and romanced. He moved away for a short time, came back and divorced... I had gotten married for a short year or two in the meantime... and then began a relationship with someone else just before he came back. We spent more time together, again not in a romantic sense, with me introducing him to friends of mine and trying to find him dates. Then another aggressive female sunk her claws in about fifteen years ago and the cycle began again, only with me "courting" the girlfriend/wife to be and wooing her friendship so I would not lose my best friend again. That lasted a few years, she and I being good friends, and in the meantime I married again, had my own child, and even spent a few holidays with my best friend and his future new wife (who turned out to be scary and violent). I have pictures of him standing beside me at my wedding, a marriage to an also extremely scary and violent individual that did not last long. I was a single mother very quickly, attending his second wedding ... I have a beautiful picture of him dancing with my daughter in his arms. ************ a couple long paragraphs deleted that shared personally identifiable details but which sadly also explained more in depth details of the story... the last couple sentences of the deleted material do sum it up a little: He said later that he should have left her right then, but he did not. He stayed by her side and tried to help her, as I had stood by my own crazy and violent and disturbed partners... trying help/heal them. Fast forward another 7+ years or so... I have moved out of the insane city where we had all been living for the last couple decades and back to the small country town where he and I first met. He calls me every once in a while, while he is at work, just to see how I am doing and say hello. We talk about his children (he had two children with his first wife but made sure he had none with the second) and my daughter, and when we get off the phone I feel that happiness that I never noticed was so connected to him. I start to think again about what he said... about me being the woman he should have married. I pray to The Universe/God to bring me my spiritual partner and best friend for life. I watch "The Notebook" and mourn that I will never have a man who has loved me since I was a teenager. I think of him. I wish for the hundredth time that I had ever felt even a little passionate attraction with this perfect on paper man and wonder why the fates could be so cruel. He's the kindest, most honest/genuine man I've ever met. He never smoked, did drugs, barely drank, kept the same good job for 20 years, saves his money, eats his oatmeal, and takes care of his mom and dad. He's smart, witty, funny, and used to (when we were kids) write me letters and communicate to me (Mystic Melody) using song lyrics. I even thought he was handsome, in the way you can think a relative is handsome or good looking.
I had been looking for his qualities in the bad boys for decades as they disappointed me time and time again. I had finally grown up and matured enough to see that he was everything I ever wanted but it didn't matter anyway because he was married and we couldn't even be friends anymore. He called again out of the blue, and I happened to gripe about my computer during our call and he immediately offered to come fix it for me. I accepted and one hot summer day he was on my couch and I was looking at him and seeing how handsome he was and kicking myself for losing my chance. I thought I felt a little connection there, once I allowed the wall that prevented it to go down (my Saturn conjunct his Mars, right?) and I liked the taste of that energy. But, he was married and I believe in respecting marriage vows. I had just wanted to.... SEE... you know? Then one day (I think a year and a half later?) he called me and left me a message saying he had something to tell me. I called him and immediately said, "So, did you quit your job... or are you getting a divorce?" He never said he "had something to tell" me so I knew it was big. I felt it was the divorce and I was happy... and right. He laughed and said the divorce. I laughed and cheered, "YAAAAAAYYYYY!!! I GET MY FRIEND BACK!!!!" He told me things had been over for a year, he had slept in a different room for 6 months starting a year ago and then she had finally moved out 6 months ago. He said he had waited to call me until he was "baggage and drama free". I said I was glad and asked him for some help with a little mechanical chore at my house and he gladly helped, filling me with appreciation and happiness. He asked if I had anything else I wanted him to do and I flirted that I couldn't wait to see him shirtless with his tool-belt on, fixing everything in my house. We began a Mars/Venus dance, still friends only but on my side things were positively heating up. About a month later we had our "first kiss" as adults. It was pure beauty and magic. We had been holding each other and talking, listening to music and the vocalist sang, "I have been waiting for this moment for all of my life" and he whispered "for thirty years" and we kissed and kissed and kissed for hours and hours. It was a surprise to him that I wanted him in that way... he had just been helping me as a friend. It was a surprise to me how completely incendiary and mindblowingly HOT these kisses were between us. THAT was what I had been missing?!?!???? It's been another six months or so since then and we watched "The Notebook" together last week when he brought me food because I wasn't feeling well. It was pretty intense, like a lot of our connection. Our world is stuffed with synchronicities right now. We are extremely kind to each other. We are best friends. We are refurbishing a couple of matching wrought iron rocking chairs. I think we might grow old together in them. Puts a whole new meaning on Saturn/Mars dw synastry. I think 29+ years satisfies Saturn a bit. Maturity = check Life has it's challenges. We have some adult life issues to work out. I guess there's still a chance we could throw each other away... but seriously... why would we? We are best friends who love each other deeply and we've suddenly discovered we have an intense sexual connection as well. That's as good as it gets in real life. <3 A true gift from God. See Interpersonal for synastry/comp... for your analyzing pleasure.
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Ceridwen unregistered
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posted June 14, 2016 02:56 AM
I love the story, and that`s even better than any film I`ve ever seen, cause it`s real. IP: Logged |
Valentine Knowflake Posts: 797 From: Canada Registered: Dec 2014
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posted June 14, 2016 03:55 AM
It is a beautiful story. I wish you all the best.IP: Logged |
Aubyanne Moderator Posts: 6759 From: The Multiverse Registered: Sep 2014
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posted June 14, 2016 05:54 AM
That's kinda what I was expecting to see. Congratulations, Mystic! Out of curiosity, what do you think 'heated' things up now? What was the difference? Were you finally just matured beyond the bad boy BS, or had his technique improved? IP: Logged |
12muddy Knowflake Posts: 3075 From: Registered: Feb 2013
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posted June 14, 2016 06:55 AM
I'm glad I ran into this section of the board tonight. It is a beautiful. Best wishes to you two. IP: Logged |
margym0o Knowflake Posts: 1230 From: The Great White North Registered: Jul 2014
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posted June 14, 2016 11:04 AM
Thank you for sharing your story. It struck me in your other thread because your composite reminded me of mine with a man who I have very complicated feelings for, and I'm not really sure what place he has in my life yet. I wonder if my story with him will end up being similar. Different to yours though, he and I did date for a few years and though I moved to be with him, it felt too much like a "friendship" and so I moved back. Despite dating a couple of men since him, I haven't been able to completely forget about him. We just shared a connection I cannot explain. He just "got me" which I now know is hard to find. What I struggle with is the lack of pull for a truly ROMANTIC relationship which I never really felt with him. He definitely feels like a soulmate of some kind, though I don't know if we're meant to be together in this life. All the best IP: Logged |
Faith Knowflake Posts: 21731 From: Bella's Hair Salon Registered: Jul 2011
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posted June 14, 2016 12:50 PM
quote: We are refurbishing a couple of matching wrought iron rocking chairs. I think we might grow old together in them.
That is just so cute!! Thanks for telling us your story!! IP: Logged |
Aubyanne Moderator Posts: 6759 From: The Multiverse Registered: Sep 2014
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posted June 15, 2016 01:18 AM
I can see the problem, Margym0o. That's a really powerful 6H emphasis with your MOON-SATURN being one of the strongest influences. VENUS-SUN is a very beneficial aspect, but not necessarily romantic. However ... it IS opposite 8H MARS. So the potential IS there, even if the 6H MOON-SATURN may be dominating. I agree there's a likely soulmate connexion, with the PSYCHE-EROS opposition. I'd be interested to see how the natals overlay the composite. There's usually a lack of interaction on a meaningful level when certain aspects don't 'go off'. IP: Logged |
Dancing Maenad unregistered
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posted June 15, 2016 02:28 AM
You gave me goosebumps, MM! That is such a heartwarming story and I am so delighted for the two of you! I'm a Cap Asc too, my Moon almost in Cap, so I relate to a lot of the struggles in the romantic department so much! Glad to see someone get their silver lining! IP: Logged |
sc0rpioRising Knowflake Posts: 1534 From: somewhere! Registered: Nov 2011
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posted June 15, 2016 10:14 AM
Wow that was such a powerful read. It almost made me feel hopeful about my life...maybe there is still some magic in this world....IP: Logged |
Mystic Melody Knowflake Posts: 878 From: IL Registered: Dec 2010
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posted June 17, 2016 08:44 PM
Thank you, Everyone, for your kind words and congratulations!! <3 quote: Originally posted by Aubyanne:
Out of curiosity, what do you think 'heated' things up now? What was the difference? Were you finally just matured beyond the bad boy BS, or had his technique improved?
This is so hard to believe... the first few kisses began just as flat as our long ago teenager kisses. I didn't care at the moment. I thought... well... maybe we will find our rhythm eventually and if not... sex isn't everything. As the kisses continued I started to realize I just hadn't given Taurus the time to warm up and I hadn't stopped my air sign mind long enough to fully and sensually experience what was being offered. I came to understand in the following hours what I had been missing all of those years. What's even better is that I learned the other women in his life had never taken the time to allow themselves to fully experience his awesome. I had never experienced his perfect technique. Those fire sign men always rushing... It's like he was made for me. Auby, also thank you for taking a look at Margy's chart. I am finally getting around to giving a short answer to everyone's lovely comments! So busy lately. Faith, for a second I thought that was a "puking" emoticon with your "That is just so cute!!" message and I laughed. lolol
Dancing M, I love goosebumps!! <3
Don't lose the faith fellow Cappy. "Good things happen late in the game." ~ loosely quoted from Under the Tuscan Sun Scorp Rising... it's all magic. We just have to make it through the suffering too. IP: Logged |
Randall Webmaster Posts: 187424 From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)! Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 22, 2016 11:24 AM
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Aubyanne Moderator Posts: 6759 From: The Multiverse Registered: Sep 2014
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posted June 22, 2016 04:22 PM
quote: Originally posted by Mystic Melody: ... I had never experienced his perfect technique. Those fire sign men always rushing... It's like he was made for me. Auby, also thank you for taking a look at Margy's chart.
I can absolutely relate to that. The simpatico and complementariness ... yes, it's eerie, once it 'clicks'. It's been a bit inconsistent with us, but he's still lacking so much experience. It'll take time. I'm okay with that. Oh, I'm happy to take a look at things. I've just been so busy on my own journey, that I've had a lot of catching up to do everywhere. I'll be more consistent from now on -- I think. I don't want to jinx it! IP: Logged |
Randall Webmaster Posts: 187424 From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)! Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 23, 2016 11:27 AM
quote: Originally posted by Aubyanne: I can absolutely relate to that. The simpatico and complementariness ... yes, it's eerie, once it 'clicks'. It's been a bit inconsistent with us, but he's still lacking so much experience. It'll take time. I'm okay with that. Oh, I'm happy to take a look at things. I've just been so busy on my own journey, that I've had a lot of catching up to do everywhere. I'll be more consistent from now on -- I think. I don't want to jinx it!
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Mystic Melody Knowflake Posts: 878 From: IL Registered: Dec 2010
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posted June 24, 2016 07:40 PM
Auby, I haven't read your story yet but I will if I come across it!!
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sugarflapjacks Knowflake Posts: 277 From: southeasternseaboard Registered: Sep 2013
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posted July 26, 2016 12:27 AM
Getting older is beautiful looking at how you are can write this "29-year-in-the-making" 5 love testimonial Lots of love to you, MM! IP: Logged |
Mystic Melody Knowflake Posts: 878 From: IL Registered: Dec 2010
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posted July 31, 2016 05:12 PM
Thank you, Sugar. We have all of the usual masculine/feminine relationship challenges but we are patient and kind and figure things out in time. We really enjoy taking long walks together in nature.IP: Logged |
Yin Knowflake Posts: 3529 From: Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 07, 2016 09:24 PM
MM, I am SO happy for you! You deserve all the love. I mean it. IP: Logged |
Randall Webmaster Posts: 187424 From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)! Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 08, 2016 02:11 PM
Happy Dance time! IP: Logged |
sugarflapjacks Knowflake Posts: 277 From: southeasternseaboard Registered: Sep 2013
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posted August 14, 2016 02:52 AM
Mystic Mel, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlLsbL2LJKw This is one of my favs ... hope you like Luther!
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Randall Webmaster Posts: 187424 From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)! Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 15, 2016 01:18 PM
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Randall Webmaster Posts: 187424 From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)! Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 16, 2016 12:44 PM
If you remove the "s," it will link.IP: Logged |
sugarflapjacks Knowflake Posts: 277 From: southeasternseaboard Registered: Sep 2013
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posted August 17, 2016 02:28 PM
Thanks for the tip, Randall!IP: Logged |
sugarflapjacks Knowflake Posts: 277 From: southeasternseaboard Registered: Sep 2013
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posted August 17, 2016 02:32 PM
...IP: Logged |
sugarflapjacks Knowflake Posts: 277 From: southeasternseaboard Registered: Sep 2013
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posted August 22, 2016 01:13 PM
Bumping this to the top -- Earth to Melody... Earth to Melody... this thread needs attention from Mystic Melody! IP: Logged |