posted July 18, 2015 09:32 AM            

you are very welcome to me.
So if you have a question, just start a topic and address it to me; if I have time and am in the right "reading-frame-of-mind" (energywise), then I will try to help you.

posted July 18, 2015 09:51 AM            

Didn't this thread establish the standards already?

Anyone can read it, evaluate their own behavior and make their own changes.

It's about excesses. Not readers vs non-readers. Maybe AK was referring to me as well, I was all over this forum these days. I have been excessively present on this forum too, these past days.

I think what you say, Fairy is partially unfair. You say you are playing with the pendulum, try opening a thread and having some of these behaviors on it and see how pleasant it is to refuse and admonish people.

I did this, recently, something good came out of it, but you saw how unpleasant and violent was for me and other people I am not here to repeat that experience again.

You actually come here to give and for everyone to enjoy themselves, but you have to do this too. It's just unfair! Of course, occasionally, it might happen, a refusal, but why some of you guys come here and insist only the reader has to change their attitude? Why can't people simply read this thread and take the necessary measures themselves? We are not children.

Some of you guys give the impression you have a very serious reaction to some rules about the reading behaviors here. As if limiting those readings poses serious problems to you.
Well, personally, I have a serious issue with reading and psychic addiction. I do NOT want to encourage something like that and it might be the reason for me to give up these readings eventually, if this is such a serious issue to limit the daily requests and the same-question problem.
Bottom line, I simply don't understand when someone comes on this thread and protests the suggestions here. I also strongly resent the idea: "you tell me when to stop, I won't stop by myself" as a principle.

posted July 18, 2015 10:17 AM            

in fact I think we might disagree (a little) in this instance.

I donīt think anyone can establish such standards here; this is a free public place, anyone can ask for readins as often as they want.
how sensible that is, is a totally different matter.
but there are also different intentions behind this.
Of course sometimes it might point to personal despair, but it is not always like that, even if someone asks for the 100th reading. (well my personal opinion is that the first reading is the answering-one; every other reading can just elaborate on this, but not change the message being given. So getting a dozen readings will not change the message).

However what I am very adamant about is that noone here is qualified to judge anyone else (other than having one`s own opinion of course, everyone has an opinion, and that is perfectly alright). We are not walking in anyone else`s shoes, and do not know about the background or what is really going on.

Having said that, I do think it is up to each reader herself to establish her own rules she feels comfortable with. And if that includes not taking a particular sitter, then it is absolutely her right.
But that is up to every reader`s personal decision.

In fact I did reject a reader, who wanted to read for me once, because I felt that the energy would not mesh well.

posted July 18, 2015 10:25 AM            

I am mainly figuring out how these things work together.

Apart from that energywise, they often give me a calm peaceful serene feeling inside (and if not, I need to step away), and that centredness helps me understand myself and my position in regard to the question better.

But mostly, yes, it is a form of entertainment for me, though with good readers in a very deep profound touching way.

posted July 18, 2015 10:28 AM            

I think this thread is about a more positive energy, improvements. It doesn't mean the energy is bad, but there is room and chances for improvement, in what was said.

I also think this thread is a strong message against psychic addiction. As I said, to me this is a serious ethical issue, as a reader. And a practitioner, knowing I can easily fall into it myself; there are days when I can't wait to get home and take the cards in my hand. It's very easy to slip into this. It doesn't mean we should.

posted July 18, 2015 10:40 AM            

"I think this thread is about a more positive energy, improvements."
Yes, I agree with that as well.

"I also think this thread is a strong message against psychic addiction. As I said, to me this is a serious ethical issue, as a reader."
I understand that this is important to you.
But the thing is, it is nothing that we can resolve on a public forum like that; it is not even something we can really diagnose, though we might have strong hunches given the phrasing of the questions and some other hints. but still we don`t know the other person, so a diagnosis will always be flawed (and hence often unfair).

Psychic addiction is of course a problem (though we sometimes can make a mountain out of a molehill, too), but as I said, I donīt think it is able to resolve on a forum.
And someone who is psychically addicted will only in rare cases be able to do what you ask them to.
If someone suspects they are psychically addicted I`d suggest they try staying away from getting readings for a few days. See how you feel about it. Is it manageable? If not, yes, if the reading is needed to get through the day emotionally, then I think there is a serious problem behind it, or might be at least.
But again, that is up to the responsibility of each person, and only every person can change themselves.
I cannot change another person, I can merely point out how I see things, (which is of course just one perspective).

"there are days when I can't wait to get home and take the cards in my hand."
But why is that so?

I have some days, too, but usually it is, well I love looking at the beautiful images to be honest. See the story evolve in front of my eyes. And in a way sometimes it does not even make a great difference if it is about my own reading (I donīt trust my own readings for myself anyway, at least not much) or for someone else.

there have been some very rare occasions when I felt a little desparate, yes, but usually after getting 2 or 3 readings, and noticing that I am totally going in circles inm y mind, and sort of lock-down, I step away from the cards (and the computer), take a deep breath and take a long walk. lol

It`s my remedy for pretty much everything. Take a long walk and breathe in the beauty of nature. It helps so much getting a new perspective. or at least getting out of one`s head.

posted July 18, 2015 11:00 AM            

Thanks Ceri, if I need some guidance I will keep you in mind! I appreciate you offering!

I do admit I believe I suffer from some psychic addiction. I do try to keep myself in check with it and I am working on it. I probably get more paid readings than free readings and I guess I'm always embarrassed by the fact that I have this problem. Sometimes when we can't control anything getting a reading feels like we are in control of something, even though we aren't really in control of anything. It's hard to explain. And it is up to me to try to control myself better and not just a reader to do it for me. We all need to take responsibility for ourselves.

posted July 18, 2015 11:34 AM            

I feel compelled at this point to say that I believe psychic addiction is a very serious one, comparable to shopping addiction for instance; and that, of course, most of us can fall into it.

I think it may lead to a considerable waste of money.

There is a lot to say about this, but I will just say a few things. What happens is that it quickly becomes a remedy, a fix for anxiety. Everything causing anxiety relief in people is known to become rapidly and profoundly addictive.

It may alter the decision making process, rapidly and considerably, because there is someone (or the cards) telling us what will happen or what to do, on a daily basis (if this is the case). This causes a temporary anxiety relief, but also an alteration of our behavior, of our decision making and implementing, of our ability and motivation to act.

We become much more passive, without even knowing how and when it happened. We become detached from what we want, from the inside, and focused on exterior signs coming from others or exterior circumstances to confirm or deny the prediction. We quickly become spectators of our own life. It also gives you the impression that no matter what you do or not do, things are bound to happen; there is a trap here (either this is true or not is irrelevant at this point) because it makes you feel powerful when in fact, it weakens your involvement.

Ultimately, you become disconnected from the inner mechanism of evaluating things and people and taking the right decision in accordance to what you want, because there is always someone else telling you what will happen, what someone else feels, when, how, what to do. We usually have internal mechanisms for evaluating those. So when not practiced, such as our own intuition about people or situations, they begin to rust.

You enter into a waiting stance.

Sorry for the gloomy portrait, I am just describing the potential danger, the worst case scenario. I thought it should be mentioned, since we started talking about it.

And thank you for your appreciative words

posted July 18, 2015 11:43 AM            

I agree with the danger you pointed out.

posted July 18, 2015 11:53 AM            

Of course afterwards I am going to pester you all about readings about that trip (because I like to see the pictograms on the cards align with the experience itself)

Sorry, I know this does NOT belong here. lol

posted July 18, 2015 11:57 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ceridwen:
I am going to force myself to go on a trip, after having annoyed the heck out of the hotel-staff already.

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Have fun and don't forget your list of taxi numbers Ceri

posted July 18, 2015 12:09 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by VacantGazer:
Have fun and don't forget your list of taxi numbers Ceri

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I donīt need any this time!
Turns out the hotel is about 2 minutes next to the theatre. Which I totally did not know when booking. lol
But it should be in walking distance, and I guess there will be taxis waiting in front of the main station, so I don`t need tot hink of any.
I am too lazy anyway. Just remembered that I have to book a ticket as well, today, 2 days before leaving. Sometims I am such a Sag when it comes to planning.

posted August 03, 2015 08:00 AM            

It's happened to me lately here or with people met through this place. Something I don't like in life in general is when someone tells you they want to exchange something with you, but what they want to do or end up doing is to actually take something from you then mind their own business.

In reality, the only proper way to ask for an exchange of someone proposing exchanges is by offering your part of the exchange first. I think it applies to life in general.

------------------
I seem to have loved you in numberless forms...

AstroMandala

posted August 03, 2015 08:19 AM            

I agree with you on that.
And if someone can`t exchange now, I find it only fair to let the others know, so they can decide if they want to wait.

I find it perfectly okay to not exchange if someone offers free readings, but it must be clear in the beginning what the intention of a thread is.

posted August 03, 2015 08:33 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ceridwen:

Laying the cards o the table so to speak.

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posted August 03, 2015 09:28 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ceridwen:
if someone can`t exchange now, I find it only fair to let the others know, so they can decide if they want to wait.

I find it perfectly okay to not exchange if someone offers free readings, but it must be clear in the beginning what the intention of a thread is.

Laying the cards o the table so to speak.

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posted August 03, 2015 12:49 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by erickaf:
Yes did I mention never giving feedback or a thank you? For Christ sake...this irks me beyond anything. Never getting even a thank you makes me never to do free readings. :-(.
Why do people do this? The only thing I can think of these people get way too many readings and forget.
I think its time for my coffee LOL.

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I'm noticing a few people on my threads who ask the same questions but have forgotten the fact that I've given them a reading on the very same question not too long ago. That's disappointing, it's like telling me my efforts reading for them are all in vain. I'm also not liking people who are here solely for free readings, especially members who have been here for years. All they do is take take take, they don't participate here other than to fill up a space on a free reading thread.

posted January 29, 2016 06:55 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by BellaFenice:
This is a really good thread! I have a lot of thoughts on this, as certainly this thread brings up a lot of good points.

[b]Finding balance is key

Sometimes I wonder if some forget about free will. I have no qualms about people asking a lot of questions, but when one asks the same question over and over again, it boggles my mind because either they 1) don't want to accept reality, or 2) are waiting for that one reader to tell them what they want to hear. If you want to ask again about a topic, I am a firm believer you need to wait at least a week on the same question and consider asking someone else. I agree that posters are looking for comfort, but at the same time you prevent personal growth by not addressing the issues within.

I agree with LeeLoo about the obsession aspect, give things time to work out and trust in the universe, even if things do not turn out the way you like- it happens for a reason.

Offering those who haven't asked in a while

This is a cool concept, and I am fine with it if someone prefers to do it. This can prevent some posters from asking the same question over and over again, and also helps the newer posters feel comfortable. I think people who are newer to this site feel intimidated when seeing those of us who know each other exchange a lot, and this can help to make them feel more welcome. Especially those who cannot exchange in return, I imagine it would be a little daunting to ask someone when they enter a topic called an 'exchange' thread, so I always encourage readers to take on those who cannot exchange in return.

Proper reading etiquette-not every one respects it

I don't have a problem with people asking multiple questions, because as the reader you can tell them no. If you don't say no and remain frustrated, then you aren't helping yourself out. I will not complain about this because if it really bothered me, I would say no. It is okay to turn down posters if you feel overwhelmed, no one is going to judge you for it. However, this needs to be communicated to the question asker so they realize your concerns.

It is totally okay to decline if you aren't up to it, remember as the reader you have to take care of yourself as well. Even if you need a few days to get back to the poster, it is totally fine.

What I cannot stand are the 'this can't be right, read again' attitudes. We are all here to learn and no one is going to be 100% perfect. I've seen on a few occasions posters getting haughty and self-righteous over the fact the reader didn't give them the one answer they secretly wanted. Be grateful for the reading and offer constructive criticism, not how the reader is 'wrong' and demand more from them.

Not saying thank you as erickaf pointed out- always be thankful and grateful to the posters. I always make a point to thank anyone who reads for me, and I think that should be the standard. Reading takes a lot of time and energy on the reader's side, so it is no small task to help someone out.

Negative energy, it is here and should be avoided

This forum is primarily positive, but sadly does not avoid the occasional negative energy that comes in. I really detest readers and posters that are demanding. One example is the 'exchanges for one hour' thread. I am 100% against those, because it is suggesting that your questions are so important and must be answered in one hour only. The only time I think you should put a time limit on a reading is if is related to an emergency, otherwise it comes off as elitist. I've seen a few posters berate others for not getting back right away, which is wrong.

This is a free site where people donate their time, and that should be respected. I may not always get back to people right away but I never forget someone's request and always give my best effort. This is something that all readers should be given respect for, not berated because I didn't answer your repetitive question in under an hour.

Asking several follow up questions is something I don't prefer either. These take a lot of time and effort and sometimes more than the original question. Limiting the follow-up to 1-2 is good to continue the dialogue but not take advantage of the reader. Otherwise, you might as well make a new thread because essentially you are asking the reader for another reading.

Asking someone to exchange for you on the OP's thread. Oh. My God. This is blatantly rude and unnecessary. If someone makes a thread, please respect it. Do not run onto someone's thread and ask a poster in there to read for you, how selfish can you be? To me, the OPs request should be honored and the exchanges in there should pertain to the OP and whoever wants to exchange with the OP. If you need a reading badly, then bump up an existing thread or make another, otherwise it is extremely rude.[/B]

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