posted January 18, 2021 09:42 AM            

I was a teenager and I wasn't receptive to it at the time. I flipped through it a bit in my 20's. And now I am ready to read it front to back.

I find this to be a type of wellness book. I would summarize it as getting a better grip on your life and all of your tasks.

posted January 18, 2021 10:07 AM            

She brings up a good point that our life can be in chaos because we need to have better boundaries. From having too many favors asked of us to a "chatty Cathy" friend sucking up our time.

She goes over this in Chapter 2: "No" is the Hardest Word to Say

"20. When you are stuck in a situation where your are being asked to do something you don't want to do, simply ask the person making the request to check with out about it later. This allows an escape and the time to think it though." (Novak pg 19)

Boundaries was a huge theme for me in 2020. Started to realize that saying yes to others is saying no to myself.
From being asked to dog sit, baby sit whenever I finally had a weekend to myself.
Plus an overly attached Chatty Cathy friend who constantly blew up my phone.

I had to bluntly tell me sister that my days off from teaching are days to focus on myself and not her kids, though I do love them. Just because I am a teacher w/ time off in the summer, nobody is entitled to my time or services.

Jamie also talks about compromising to. (Not a full yes, but not a full no)
My sister asked me to watch her kids two days over the Christmas break. I do want to see them, but need to focus on myself as well. So I agreed to one day.
But I forgot about a prior commitment. So then the compromise became 2 half days where I showed up at 11 one day and 1pm another. I learned that it was still to much and wasn't focusing on my own life enough and that next time I will put my foot down for just one half day. But I was still proud of myself for not just saying yes immediately to two full long days over there.

I don't see this happening, but I remind myself not to go overboard cause I too need help.
My sister will do my taxes for me(I am paying her, but still it is her time and service)
My mom picks me up and drops me off from the airport every time I visit my fiancé.
My dad always repairs my car for me.

I kind of did the need more time with chatty friend thing. I asked if we could talk around 7, because I was with my family. I ended up just asking around 6:30 if we could talk tomorrow cause I was still at my parents.

posted January 25, 2021 11:18 PM            

"1. Take responsibility. Realize that you alone are responsible for you time and how you use it. Sure, there are some times when thigs are truly out of out control. But the majority of the time you do have a say. So, be a ruthless gatekeeper and do not allow your time to be stolen."

Right! if we never have time, then it's up to us to tweak our life styles eventually.

She also talks about using a timer for focusing on a task and then moving on, from phone calls, to cleaning, etc.
I keep an eye on the phone these days. I usually end up talking to a certain friend while I am doing a cleaning power hour, or a hair mask and then I'll say I can talk for a half hour to hour(these days more half hour.) And then "I got to go get in the shower the timer for my hair mask is done"

With fiancé more of an hour. If I notice it's been over an hour I'll usually say "I better get going so I can wind down for the night."

Before reading this book again, it's overwhelming how out of whack the apartment has gotten from 2017-2020. I started putting a timer on for an hour and just do what I can for an hour.

It took a few months to see real progress.

A tad off topic but Fly Lady on the internet recommends putting a timer on. Her challenges are shorter though like 15 minutes. Sometimes I do shorter times. But right now after years of neglect I need like an hour a day.

When you first start a challenge like this it seems like you are only keeping the place from getting worse than it already is, but over time you really see progress.

(back on topic!) She recommends observing how long you take to complete tasks to better knowing if you really have time to get it done.

posted February 21, 2021 12:06 AM            

This chapter has lots of emphasis on making time for things that we actually want to do.

"41. You don't have time to do things that are just of interest to someone else; they need to be of interest to you as well. Sometimes you might find yourself watching a movie with your family even though it is not a movie you'd normally choose to watch, but that's not what I'm talking about. What I mean is getting roped into large quantities of time doing something just for somewhere else; if you're not doing it for the right reasons, you may end up resenting the whole situation."

Yes if we don't have time for things we actually want to do...maybe we get stuck doing so many favors for other people.

posted February 28, 2021 09:07 AM            

I actually had to set her straight. That just because I get a lot of time off as a teacher does not entitle people to my services. AND THAT I choose this profession, earned this profession. AND THAT because of that, I deserve to do whatever I want with that time.

I told her yesterday that I am not coming over to her house to discuss wedding planning until she makes other arrangements for her children. And next time she can come over to my apartment with out her kids. I understand the youngest two....But I feel like a 6 year old should know better to bug off when adults are trying to plan/talk. The oldest got treated like a child emperor by everyone since birth...that's the problem.

My fiancé does not want to live close to my family, and I don't want to live close to his family. For similar reasons.

posted February 28, 2021 11:06 AM            

Make your To-Do Lists realistic.

and!!!

It is OKAY to have visible space on To-Do list.

I use to cram to-dos on monthly and weekly pages. I started to learn that a single task can take a lot of steps depending on what it is. I've been through two planners where I felt like I could not turn the page usually after a few weeks in!
Because things come up in life. Family emergencies, BS in general, could not feel good (actually being sick, time of the month, hangover, you get the picture)

People love getting me planners as gifts. I do like using them for a while. My 2018 planner I made it all the way to November before my life got too chaotic to use it.

My 2020 planner (LMAO the year everyone's plans went to sh1+) I could not even turn the January page. I mean of course I did...but the whole year I was focused on my unfinished business on the side of the January page. That says "Notes"

I crammed so much on that page. In a wide space I would write two things.
36 To-dos on the January page when there is not even 36 days in a Month!

The things I have not accomplished are things like outings to take my nieces and nephews on. My state is one of those states that have really shut things down. And even as things open up, my sister is not comfortable taking her kids out and risking exposure. Besides that, I have "hire wedding DJ"

Anyways I am using a hard cover tear off planner I received years ago. Now that is nice! Especially when people cannot stop buying me planners as a gift. I started using it, but then I got another planner as a gift with years and numbers added in, so I could pause that planner. And use the one with years and numbers added into it. And now I can revisit my no numbers added tear off planner again.

With this new strategy....I think this is the most success I have ever had using a planner getting tasks done!

There is one small section for notes. And at first I was only writing two things in it. But now I only write one thing and a time there. And I also would do a little doodle on there so I would not be tempted to cram more to dos. Only having one/two tasks in the weekly to do has been realistic and I have been able to accomplish everything in that section.
The other side of the planner is just sticky notes. So those are the To-dos that I can go for at my own pace.

posted May 29, 2021 10:45 PM            

This book is hard to put down. And I'm glad my mom is a pack rat and held on to it.

I am getting my grove back at the condo! I've had a few rough but beautiful weeks. My bridal shower was on a Sunday...so it was really just enough time for me to bring stuff home and get ready for the work week. And then the next weekend I had my niece's birthday and had to spend the next day finishing end of the year books.

The beginning of cleaning power hours makes a dent but it can make me feel like I'm polishing a turd.
But then after the second day a room will be totally gone of clutter. When I usually do these power hours I work from the main entrance and back. At the apartment I made enough progress to get to the living room.