posted May 28, 2010 07:28 PM            

When you get bad grades, how do your/or did your parents usually react?

How do you think they should react or how do you think you would react if you were them?

and why?

Just hoping to learn something from your responses...

posted May 30, 2010 05:15 PM            

As it is I'm helping raise 2 kids now. If it were up to me they wouldn't even be in a public school, and that's all I'll say on that (other than if I believe a school either of them go to becomes too toxic I'll push hard to have them removed, unless they WANT to stay in it). That said...

If one of the kids got a bad grade, I'd try to find out why and offer what help I could (without teaching them to cheat). If the subject is simply too boring, I'd try to find a way to make it more interesting (which could also lead to extra credit projects he or she would enjoy). But if I thought it was simple laziness involved (not to be confused with boredom), then I'd try making them care more even if it meant taking something away from them until they did so that they'd have to earn it back (much like real life where you have to earn what you have). If he or she just "wasn't getting it" then I'd try to help there, too.

I remember back when I was failing math and was the one time I thought I'd be held back a year as I was looking at failing the semester. So I went through the book to try and figure it out and found it made sense as I followed the examples and from then on I resolved to stop listening to the teacher and just read the book. After that I went from F to A, I was the only one to answer the bonus question on the semester exam and with that get a score of a 110 (because I got all the other problems right, too), and I'd been put in charge of tutoring others who were also having a hard time with it. The lesson being that sometimes the problem is actually with the teacher, not the kid.

But if I thought he or she simply stopped caring completely then it becomes much more of a problem. Personally, I consider grades overrated save for the superstitious value society gives them (which scores how well you follow instructions, no matter how pointless, and how well you can cram a few mostly useless facts into memory just to forget them after the test), so the point wouldn't really be to get the "grade point average up" but to find the cause of their angst or ennui and dealing with that instead, which would hopefully take care of the symptom (poor grades) as well.

If I believed the school itself was the problem by providing too toxic an environment but taking them out of school wasn't an option, then it becomes even more complicated, but depending on the problem I'd think of something. I'd provide examples, but this is long enough.

posted June 01, 2010 02:52 PM            

I struggled all thru school, but I have ADD.

I now have a 10 year old who seems to struggle with school too. And he's ADHD...Heavy on the H lol.

But I don't think it's his teachers, because he was having a hard time in 3rd grade, and 4th...and starting in August, he will be in the 5th grade. He has other issues as well which has made schooling hard for him.

Having someone sit with him makes the world of a difference. He needs that extra push to focus. Someone to redirect him and with the class sizes being around 25 kids to one teacher, he becomes more of a nuissance to other kids (because of the ADHD) than anything. So he isn't getting the attention he needs...which is frustrating. I should probably get psychological testing for him to see if he may qualify for outside help...

wow that went beyond what I intended it to lol.

I was hoping to see how parent's usually deal with their children when it comes to bad grades... from the children's perspective. My mom used to threaten to take away things I love like choir and band...which would have sent me spiraling even farther down into depression than I already was at the time. And I know my son's depressed already and dealing with issues he shouldn't have to at his age, so taking away things he loves isn't an option...

posted June 01, 2010 10:29 PM            

I think he's fun and well-spoken, but he gets to talking about ADHD as another form of intelligence somewhere in the 15th minute and how some people have to move to be able to think.

To sum it up, Gillian Lynne shared the life changing experience as a child back in the 30s when she had what today would be called ADHD. It was bad enough that she was taken to a doctor and the doctor turned on his radio and left to "talk privately" with her mom and they watched as she began dancing. The doctor then told her mom, "Gillian isn't sick, she's a dancer. Take her to a dance school."

Gillian added that going to dance school was the most wonderful thing to happen because it was filled with people like her, people who couldn't sit still and needed to be in motion to learn.

posted June 02, 2010 05:29 PM            

Wouldn't that be an awesome thing, to have schools cater to these kids instead of trying to fix them? I get frustrated with my son a lot because his energy level is so very high.
He is on 3 different kinds of maintenance meds. He takes concerta in the morning, then needs a small dose of ritalin to get him thru the afternoon, then another small dose of ritalin so he can concentrate long enough to do his homework, then he needs a trazadone to help him sleep at night or he's up until all hours of the night and into the next morning.
He needs something to do so he can get out that energy. He just finished the Spring session of soccer which cost around $100 including everything I had to buy for him. I was hoping it was at least 3 months, but it turned out to be only around a month long. He was just starting to really like it when it ended..ugg.

anyway...just needed to vent...

posted July 02, 2010 12:10 PM            

But when it comes to school, he can't bring home the grades. It's frustrating to me because I know how smart he is, but his mind is going 90 miles an hour so he can't concentrate to save his life. He ended up failing math and social studies. I know it's not due to his intelligence, he just can't concentrate.

posted July 21, 2010 08:45 PM            

------------------
Echoes fade and memories die:
Autumn frosts have slain July

posted December 26, 2010 04:24 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by BanxManx:
They should let the students grade the teachers

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posted July 26, 2012 11:34 AM            

When you get bad grades, how do your/or did your parents usually react? they will most likely intoregate me and ask me what my other classmates got and ask me why I didn't do as good, or should I say, better grades than them. I can feel that sometimes they think that comparing me to others will make me feel threatened and will start working my bum off although I've always acted according to their will .....until I got to college lol

How do you think they should react or how do you think you would react if you were them? and why? I promised to myself that I would never, ever! compare my kid to other kids. I know what it feels like not being 'good enough', I always felt like this and it hurts so much, and I don't want my kids to ever feel that way. But now I'm used to it so I don't really care anymore as long as I know I'm giving my 100% best then its all good. What I would do instead is to tell my kids that it's never too late to change and improve, that there is still HOPE to succeed and that I'm always there for them. I will tell them that if they really want to improve, then they must be willing to discipline themselves. Its only them that has the ability to change themselves, I'm just here to support and guide them. I would tell them that I appreciate their effort, at least they tried. Also, I would not jump into conclusions as to why they did bad in the exam nor accuse them of not puting enough effort or not studying enough when I know they are actually doing a hard subject (i.e. physics, etc.) What if they we're secretly hurt and they didn't tell me about it and so I never knew and it affected them a great deal? what if they really honestly spent their time attempting to study but the pain inside them is eating them and they just want to have a break and get things off their mind, including things going on at school? I've been in this kind of situation before and I would never want my kids to feel this way.