posted July 11, 2004 12:17 AM         

I cannot give any advice or a reading, so we'll go with the angels.

posted July 14, 2004 12:25 PM         

I would have loved for someone to have stepped in. Someone that could have stood up for me,because I was the age of your son and my brother was only 8. My mom wasn't emotionally stable enough to step in or help. In the end, I stood up to the wicked witch and exposed her for what she was. The problem was, the damage was already done. My brother has a self-esteem issue at times because of how she treated him. I had an eating disorder.

It may be time for you to call the ex. Let him know what he is doing to his son. Prepare him for the fact that getting rid of the dogs will cause resentment from your son and will be something he will never forget. I am sure your ex doesn't want to lose the relationship he has with his only son.

Good luck and I am sending you lots of light and prayers.

posted July 14, 2004 01:19 PM         

You pulled at my heart because I know where you're coming from. I'm not sure how to begin to tell you that I understand because I'm not a mother. However father brought me up as a single parent, with the aid of my 'stepmum' - (they've recently split) since I was about 6.

It's so hard judging a situation without the whole picture, but I hope you understand me. I feel your son's unhappiness - and of course your desperation. He must feel like it's on him to do something - he's in the middle and has to please all sides.

I guess talking to him (your son) is the best way forward - I'm sorry I know it may sound stupidly simple, but I know that I needed reasurance that things weren't my fault. Unfortunately I carry alot of baggage with me today, and to make things worse it was brought up recently because of my dad and stepmum's split. So it is important for both of you, for of mind. I can't stress that enough because my heart breaks every time I think back over years of arguments, anger, misunderstandings and heartbreak from jealousy, and possesive behaviour. I couldn't bear to think of anyone going through it.

I feel for you and the agony it must be, trying to get through to your ex-husband. Sadly, my father acted in a similar way - in fact they both did - if the other didn't know this or that it'd be OK - it'd keep them happy, 'don't tell dad this' - or don't tell (stepmum) that' - It was terrible being in the middle because I would always get the blame

Geez Mary, I'm welling up thinking about that and your situ The whole getting rid of the dogs thing, makes me so mad. Really. One of my best friends was telling me about how his stepmum just gave away his beloved dog to the RSPCA one day - because she couldn't stand him waiting for him to come back from work??

This thread isn't about stepmum bashing at all, even though it may seem like it, however experiences relate.

I'm sorry I cannot offer you a suggestion, Mary. I can only add to what the other Knowflakes have posted. It would be unwise (for me) since I don't know the souls involved. However, if you trust your intuition, go with it. Ask your angels for guidance, since they would only guide you into situations for your highest good and learning, even though seemingly devastating

I send you much love in this time. I hope you work it out.

Love Sheaa

posted July 14, 2004 02:09 PM         

I ache for your son. Find homes for the dogs. If they have to be given up, contact www.bestfriends.org.

I have little sympathy for anyone who stays in an abusive relationship. 50 years ago, it may have been more necessary, women were not as financially independent as they are now.

I have to agree with Astraldi, these are his problems. They are leaking on to you because of your son and the animals. Do what you can for your son and his precious pets (you can't take them?), and advise the Ex to continue to seek help.

Compassion is a wonderful thing but too much turns into enablement.

for all of you.

posted July 20, 2004 07:46 AM         

Hope things are steady for you though