posted May 06, 2023 02:47 PM            

Probably the most intense dream that I've had.

Just happened this morning. In the dream, I was with friends hanging out, then someone told me that the woman I have feelings killed herself. Thought it was a joke, then I saw her social media confirming it through her sister, I felt the shock of a lifetime. Went to her funeral after everyone left the place and I screamed and cried like a madman.

In real life, we're having very little contact, but recently we both said we love each other, in the spanish way of "care" rather than "romantic love" but to me it does mean something, after a few months of running from her from the triggers I had since she knew about my feelings for her, I managed to calm myself through yoga and deep meditation, the only thing I fear is to feel ridiculous to show affection or desire to her, even with her being the first to say something, I still have difficulties to get close to her, even after knowing her for years

Things of mercury retrograde, eclipses (I was told that she knew of my feelings on the october eclipse), and this full moon in scorpio.

What do you think it means?

Thank you in advance

posted May 12, 2023 02:44 PM            

As to continue about dreams, a few days ago I dreamt that I was arrested by taking her private diary, expressing her deep emotions and hurt about me, but afterwards the police released me as the diary was a false copy, the real one adressed those emotions towards an ex(who was a friend of mine a few years ago), and for me was a mere footnote that said: deep affection and emotions, it's a pity that it's going to end like a couple who never said a thing(can't remember the names in this part)(guess it expressed like a platonic connection).

posted June 05, 2023 10:49 AM            

At the same time, I'm having an intense affair with a Libra woman, who is my friend and confidant about spritual and emotional things, I'm in a very intense period.

Today I had some intense dreams where I saw her carrying a dead dog (my house's 13 year old dog) and ignoring me, a few intense songs I couldn't quite remember, and another dream about seeing her with a masked man in a party and then as we crossed path she ignored me.

posted June 05, 2023 10:48 PM            

Maybe the dreams are my guilt of not ever being able to express my feelings towards the pisces woman and then having this intense affair at the moment that is causing me intense anxiety, as the libra woman was a good friend and confidant about emotions, sprituality and was very kind to me about my many issues involving life and relationships, specially about the pisces woman, and that libra woman is on a break with her girlfriend (yeah, she has a long term relationship with a woman 20 years older that went on a 6 month trip, she's having permission to date other people in this time). She's the first friend that I ended up having sex, and is the first woman I made her come to my bedroom, at the tender age of 31, so it's not just another sexual liaison for me this time.

posted June 11, 2023 10:41 AM            

And, now that I've spent with both women in the past few days I can answer that.

With the libra woman is not a replacement thing, it is a soul friendship, but also a very emotional and lustful connection, thanks to her I'm learning things that are going to be very important to me as I'm learning for the first time how to handle a reciprocal connection, the catch is that she wants an open relationship, no strings attached, and I accept it, normally I wouldn't but I feel like this is what I need at the moment. Also probably, this is the only way to unlock the deepest parts of me, going very far of my comfort zone. I had a date with her that we had the most intense and cathartic sex ever, she cried and we spent all of our energies together, and we spend the noon in the park, quite romantic and fun. We both like each other.

But, with the pisces woman, there's something more, that although a possibility of having a relationship seems slim now, the depths of my emotions towards her are a singularity in my life, it's like a force that caused so many things in my life that I'm very thankful for it, unfortunately, I'm still very much unable to have enough courage to create the space needed to properly connect with her, even if she has affection to me, I never feared to open my emotions as hard as I did with her. But yesterday I managed to make her the photographer, and showed her a few things of the upcoming record I'm making because of these feelings. But I also found out that a common friend has also feelings for her, and has more or less the same issues and inspirations towards her, so I helped him and encouraged my buddy to express his feelings and to make it count, a few years ago I would be raging in jealousy and maybe create some mayhem, but now, I decided to just let someone else have the chance. My time to give closure to this is coming soon, I will eventually express to her this, it's like the experience won't ever be full until she finally can be a part(at least at the final chapter) of this one of a kind story.

I feel the dream today made me thing that my friend could have been successful.

posted October 27, 2023 09:11 AM            

Unfortunately I drifted apart from the Libra woman, our relationship was getting too deep for her confort and she decided to leave me behind, ghosting me in the process, it hurt me a lot, but i'm fine now.

the most interesting dream is that I saw her recently dancing in circles in a meadow, but nt in a sense of joy, but more in trying to pretend to feel joy, like wanting to get away from reality

And since this eclipse month, I dreamt of the pisces woman once again, first, before the solar eclipse I dreamt that I was very sad and on my knees, then the pisces woman suddenly appeared and gave me a hug, since then I started to feel better in life, and I saw her again after that, it felt good.

And now this morning I had a dream where she asked for help on something I can't quite remember, but then she asked me if she could hold my hand, and as we hold hands, I woke up with an overwhelming emotion.

posted October 28, 2023 11:11 AM            

I do feel the signs that it's time for a resolution of this story, there's a reason why after the situationship with the libra woman ended and her energy drifted of my life, this situation made a strong comeback, though it amazes me, because with the previous dreams of the suicide and stuff, I thought it was the end, but, not yet.

I hope to let my guard down, I've learned a lot with the libra woman about letting your guard down, unfortunately she couldn't or didn't want to, and I do miss her, our friendship, but how she just left me behind did disappointed me a lot, a shame that someone couldn't appreciate properly a deep connection like we had, it sucks