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Author
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Topic: What Happened to The Muck Thread?
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Mirandee
Knowflake Posts: 2434
From: South of the Thumb Taurus, Pisces, Cancer
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted May 01, 2007 10:20 PM
 
HSC  What happened to your thread titled The Muck? I posted there this morning then when I came back this evening to see if anyone else had posted on the thread since then, the thread is gone! Where did it go? IP: Logged |
fayte.m
Knowflake Posts: 6511
From:
Registered: Mar 2005
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posted May 02, 2007 03:49 AM
Yeah I noticed that too.
Why was it deleted?Topic Name Date Forum/Archive
from the muck Heart--Shaped Cross April 27, 2007 For Yellow Wax And The Ants  For Yellow Wax And The Ants
from the muck
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Author Topic: from the muck
Heart--Shaped Cross
Moderator
Posts: 4056
From: 11/6/78 11:38am Boston, MA
Registered: Aug 2004
posted April 27, 2007 12:09 PM
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i should care
that its real
the things i say
the things you feel
i should wait for my heart
before i speak,
before i start
i should bite my tongue
sit on my hands, or run,
so i wont do the things i've done i need to shut up
i need to grow up
i need to wake the f--- up "sorry" is cheap
i'm still a creep
no wonder i can't cry
no wonder i can't sleep i'm writing dead verse
i should be writing a will
but i'm under a curse
to stand this still "reality", you tell me,
but i just scream "help me!"
and run like a man on fire
to where i can retire then when i return
my body still burns
so i sit in the shade
and wait for the daylight to fade everyone else is gone
everyone has moved on
but i sing a lonely song
and i know that its wrong time to end this stupid f-cking farce of a poem. the end
IP: Logged
lotusheartone
Knowflake
Posts: 10298
From: piopolis, quebec canada
Registered: Jul 2005
posted April 27, 2007 12:50 PM
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Heart-Shaped Cross, I liked your POem, we all have days like that!
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Bluemoon
Knowflake
Posts: 3745
From: Stafford, VA USA
Registered: Feb 2005
posted April 27, 2007 03:59 PM
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Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug.
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MysticMelody
Knowflake
Posts: 1755
From:
Registered: Dec 2005
posted April 28, 2007 06:14 PM
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The lessons we learn
The lessons we teach
All perfectly timed
Always within reach
-me
I think most people like their "work of art" to have a *little* "kick".
Fallen angel ripped and bruised
Think on better days
Life is rude, treats you bad
Tears your wings away
Raise your eyes to star and sky
Believe in fly aways
Take your dreams, your broken schemes
And sweep the past away
Fly lonely angel
High above these streets of fire
Fly lonely angel
Far away from mad desire Hollywood ain't paved with gold
It's just a trick of light
Sunset falls on stars of old
And blinds you with its light
A spiders web of tangled lives
Lays stretched across the hills
From distances it's glistening
Like El Dorado's halls Fly lonely angel
High above these streets of fire
Fly lonely angel
Far away from mad desire The dream was light
And fragrant nights
But how were you to know
The streets are hard
They're mean and scarred
Where only fools find gold Fly lonely angel
High above these streets of fire
Fly lonely angel
Leave behind the mad desire Fly lonely angel
Spread your wings another way
Fly lonely angel
Find a better way
A better day Great White
(who also did Wasted Rock Ranger hehe)
You should always take advice from a hair band... IP: Logged
naiad
Knowflake
Posts: 838
From:
Registered: Sep 2006
posted April 29, 2007 01:53 AM
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Heart-Shaped ~
you are a wild man. wild=good...very good. IP: Logged
BlueRoamer
Knowflake
Posts: 2470
From: Calm Blue Ocean, Calm Blue Ocean
Registered: Jun 2003
posted April 29, 2007 02:20 AM
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Here's some really depressing scorpionic poetry by scorpio Sylvia Plath. She was born in Jamaica Plain, near Boston.
Tulips The tulips are too excitable, it is winter here.
Look how white everything is, how quiet, how snowed-in
I am learning peacefulness, lying by myself quietly
As the light lies on these white walls, this bed, these hands.
I am nobody; I have nothing to do with explosions.
I have given my name and my day-clothes up to the nurses
And my history to the anaesthetist and my body to surgeons. They have propped my head between the pillow and the sheet-cuff
Like an eye between two white lids that will not shut.
Stupid pupil, it has to take everything in.
The nurses pass and pass, they are no trouble,
They pass the way gulls pass inland in their white caps,
Doing things with their hands, one just the same as another,
So it is impossible to tell how many there are. My body is a pebble to them, they tend it as water
Tends to the pebbles it must run over, smoothing them gently.
They bring me numbness in their bright needles, they bring me sleep.
Now I have lost myself I am sick of baggage -
My patent leather overnight case like a black pillbox,
My husband and child smiling out of the family photo;
Their smiles catch onto my skin, little smiling hooks. I have let things slip, a thirty-year-old cargo boat
Stubbornly hanging on to my name and address.
They have swabbed me clear of my loving associations.
Scared and bare on the green plastic-pillowed trolley
I watched my teaset, my bureaus of linen, my books
Sink out of sight, and the water went over my head.
I am a nun now, I have never been so pure. I didn't want any flowers, I only wanted
To lie with my hands turned up and be utterly empty.
How free it is, you have no idea how free -
The peacefulness is so big it dazes you,
And it asks nothing, a name tag, a few trinkets.
It is what the dead close on, finally; I imagine them
Shutting their mouths on it, like a Communion tablet. The tulips are too red in the first place, they hurt me.
Even through the gift paper I could hear them breathe
Lightly, through their white swaddlings, like an awful baby.
Their redness talks to my wound, it corresponds.
They are subtle: they seem to float, though they weigh me down,
Upsetting me with their sudden tongues and their colour,
A dozen red lead sinkers round my neck. Nobody watched me before, now I am watched.
The tulips turn to me, and the window behind me
Where once a day the light slowly widens and slowly thins,
And I see myself, flat, ridiculous, a cut-paper shadow
Between the eye of the sun and the eyes of the tulips,
And I hve no face, I have wanted to efface myself.
The vivid tulips eat my oxygen. Before they came the air was calm enough,
Coming and going, breath by breath, without any fuss.
Then the tulips filled it up like a loud noise.
Now the air snags and eddies round them the way a river
Snags and eddies round a sunken rust-red engine.
They concentrate my attention, that was happy
Playing and resting without committing itself. The walls, also, seem to be warming themselves.
The tulips should be behind bars like dangerous animals;
They are opening like the mouth of some great African cat,
And I am aware of my heart: it opens and closes
Its bowl of red blooms out of sheer love of me.
The water I taste is warm and salt, like the sea,
And comes from a country far away as health.
~Sylvia Plath
IP: Logged
Bluemoon
Knowflake
Posts: 3745
From: Stafford, VA USA
Registered: Feb 2005
posted April 29, 2007 10:11 AM
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WOW!!! I don't think she was feeling very well...............
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BlueRoamer
Knowflake
Posts: 2470
From: Calm Blue Ocean, Calm Blue Ocean
Registered: Jun 2003
posted April 29, 2007 10:32 AM
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She killed herself at age 31 I believe. She turned on the gas and shoved her head in the stove. Yikes.
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lotusheartone
Knowflake
Posts: 10298
From: piopolis, quebec canada
Registered: Jul 2005
posted April 29, 2007 12:25 PM
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She was married to Ted Hughes, found out he was having an affair, and that the woman was pregnant, she put her daughter and son, in their bedroom, and left food and beverages, and gave them lots of blanket, she opened the window a little for freash air...she then sealed off their room, so no gas would get to then...
She then sealed off the kitchen, turned the gas on, layed a napkin on the oven door, and layed her head on it...she then died. ...
It's a really sad story, she had left a message for Ted, the children were okay...
when they came. ...
this is just off the top of my head, from things I've read about them... LOve and Reverence to ALL... IP: Logged
fayte.m
Knowflake
Posts: 6421
From:
Registered: Mar 2005
posted April 29, 2007 01:06 PM
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Wow!
I can totally relate.
Too bad there was no one to help Sylvia find her way back up.
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~Judgement Must Be Balanced With Compassion~
~Do Not Seek Wealth From The Suffering, Or The Dire Needs Of Others~
~Assumption Is The Bane Of Understanding~
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There were also several more replies after mine that disappeared right before the entire thread did.
So what is going on?
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~Judgement Must Be Balanced With Compassion~
~Do Not Seek Wealth From The Suffering, Or The Dire Needs Of Others~
~Assumption Is The Bane Of Understanding~
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Mirandee
Knowflake Posts: 2434
From: South of the Thumb Taurus, Pisces, Cancer
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted May 02, 2007 12:10 PM
Fayte, Seems that the thread was deleted and with no explanation as to why???? How rude and self-serving is that??!!!!!  HSC, I think that you might be superceding your rights as a moderator by deleting threads at your own whim. There is absolutely no reason for having deleted that thread. There were no arguments on it at all. Just members in conversation. If you decided you didn't like your poem about the "Muck" you could have just edited it out and explained why. However, it is very rude and uncalled for to delete the posts of the others on the thread who were talking about the poet Silvia Plath, her life and death and the relationship between herself and her husband, Ted Hughes. You can't just delete an entire thread because you don't like the direction that the conversation may have taken. Then when you are questioned about the thread you just ignore and give no explanation. In deleting that entire thread it showed no thought or care at all about BR, Lotus, Fayte, myself, and the others who posted on that thread. It takes time to type out a post giving your thoughts on the topic, time that a lot of us have to fit into a very busy day. If you want to post poems etc. in which you don't want to receive any feedback, things that are just designed for your own self-indulgence, then get your own blog. Don't post them on a public forum like this. Sorry, but most of us here at LL think that when someone posts something here they actually WANT and appreciate our feedback. We got onto the subject of the poet Silvia Plath here. Frankly, I didn't respond to your poem because I wanted to let Fayte and anyone else on the thread know about a movie I had seen about her life with Gwenyth Paltrow in it that was a very good movie. Outside of the movie, I gave some of my own thoughts about her and her husband and poetic souls. I don't know if that is the reason you deleted the thread or not, but I was in no way talking about you. Everything does not have something to do with you, HSC. Get over yourself!!! IP: Logged |
Heart--Shaped Cross
Moderator Posts: 4151
From: 11/6/78 11:38am Boston, MA
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted May 02, 2007 02:37 PM
Jesus, Mirandee, a whole 'nother slew of negative speculations, accusations, and assumptions from you. I am tempted at this point to just ignore you and your posts, if you can be this vicious and unreasonable. I'm sure it would save us both a lot of aggravation. You are no challenge, anyway, but I do admire your persistence. You remind me of those extras in kung fu movies, who just keep attacking an opponent who is clearly more skilled than them, and who keep getting thrust into the dirt by the momentum of their own undirected rage. You're funny to me.Here is what I posted in the "tripping alone sucks" thread:
Please, hold your horses and your army of unflattering speculations, accusations, and assumptions about that Yellow Wax thread. I had never deleted a thread before. The box I checked said "delete this post". My post was very negative, and I wanted it deleted. I had no idea it would delete the thread, and when I tried to undo it, I could not. I wish you would have asked me about that before you entertained (and posted) three paragraphs full of your negative speculations, accusations, and assumptions.
quote:
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You don't feel the need to take any responsibility for your actions so you just ignore others and give no explanation for your actions.
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I didnt know anyone was upset about this. I havent been back to Yellow Wax in the past 24hrs to witness the outcry, if there is one. And as for your objections, I just saw them, and I just answered them.
take care of yourself,
hsc
IP: Logged |
Heart--Shaped Cross
Moderator Posts: 4151
From: 11/6/78 11:38am Boston, MA
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted May 02, 2007 02:45 PM
I do agree that I ought to have foreseen that some people might be adversely affected by my mistake, and I ought to have offered an explaination. I apologize for that.hsc IP: Logged |
Mirandee
Knowflake Posts: 2434
From: South of the Thumb Taurus, Pisces, Cancer
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted May 02, 2007 03:34 PM
Right to the second post. You should have explained then there would be no room for " unfounded accusations" would there? I DID post here and ask about the thread before I said anything and there was no reply at all to that post. The problem might be that you didn't see that your mistake may have adversely affected other people. You might give some consideration as to why you could not foresee that and think about other people and how your actions might have an affect on them. As for the first post, you're no challenge either. Self-obsessed whiners are never a challenge. Just a very tiring and boring annoyance to me. IP: Logged |
fayte.m
Knowflake Posts: 6511
From:
Registered: Mar 2005
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posted May 02, 2007 05:15 PM
I am recovering from something that could have killed me about two months ago.
I am still recovering. Posting is hard.
I have been recycling some old posts instead of creating many long new ones.
I have had no water for about two weeks. Still without water.
Its a b!tch to have a toilet that you cannot flush except with bottled water. A real joy with IBS.
Forget bathing. Wipes, washcloths and more jugs of store bought water.
Someone shot out my car windsheild. Luckily we were not hurt.
My doorsteps collapsed.
A hell of alot more crappy things are going on in my life.
Well sheesh!
That is life! 
But I am not all over whining about my life.
I would not have even mentioned any of that except I am getting sick of hearing people whine instead of counting their blessings. (FYI...I am not talking about any specific LL folks, but other folks in my offline world also.)
Like people who can bathe and walk etcetera without assistance b!tching about how hard life is. People living on 3 or more times my income b!tching about being poor. People who can afford college b!tching because it is hard. Geeez! I wish I could afford to take some courses or get a degree. And be physically able to also.
quote:
COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS for a CHANGE!!!!!!!!!
I DO!!!!!!!!!  count mine! Which are many!  
Wallowing in self pity serves no purpose.------------------
~Judgement Must Be Balanced With Compassion~
~Do Not Seek Wealth From The Suffering, Or The Dire Needs Of Others~
~Assumption Is The Bane Of Understanding~
}><}}}(*> <*){{{><{
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Mirandee
Knowflake Posts: 2434
From: South of the Thumb Taurus, Pisces, Cancer
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted May 02, 2007 07:40 PM
I agree, Fayte. Counting your blessings is much better than throwing a pity party for yourself. It makes us more aware of the things we do have instead of lament over what we don't have. People who do that should go out on the streets and find some homeless, destitute person and tell them how bad things are in their life. Another thing that I'm getting tired of from HSC is his repeatedly telling people here at LL how we are no "challenge" to his self-professed "intellectual genius." That being the case, HSC why do you suffer yourself to hang out here at LL with us morons? Why don't you just go join a Mensas site? They do have those on the internet, you know. Intelligence is shown more by the choices people make in their personal lives, what they do with their lives, how they apply their intelligence to problem solving, how they overcome obstacles and problems in their lives. From what you have mentioned on the threads at LL I do not see any genius is being demonstrated in your personal life. I don't even see that it takes any intelligence to talk about it or do drugs to escape the realities of your life. Not that talking about it is wrong. It helps. But you can't just talk about it. You are the only one who can take the steps to change it or change yourself. From what you say about your personal life on the threads I don't see any intelligence displayed at all let alone "genius." Truthfully we only have your word that you are a "tormented genius" HSC. We can't prove it by your posts because anyone can take what some philosopher said, put it in their own words and present it as their own thoughts on the internet. I am not accusing you of doing that, but it is done all the time on the internet. Easily!! I was tested out as "borderline genius" according to an I.Q. test. I am lousy at math so I guess that is what reduced me to boderline.  So who cares? I take that in stride. I do not go around on forums telling everyone that or presenting myself as being in any way illectually superior to others or telling them that they are " no challenge" for my intelligence. It is arrogant to do that. Anyway, if I was truly no challenge to you then you wouldn't be so forceful with me in trying to make me see your point. You wouldn't be sticking posts up in my face on threads where I have decided for some reason not to respond to you as you have done. If nothing else my honesty and convictions to my beliefs are a challenge to you. And besides that. The rest of humanity was not put on this planet to be a "challenge" to you. Nor are we here to serve you in other way than to try and be courteous to you as a fellow human being which I was being by asking where the thread went before drawing any conclusions. Too bad that you were too busy wallowing in your own self-pity and drug induced stupor to notice the courteousy or care about it. edited to correct a typo IP: Logged |
lotusheartone
Knowflake Posts: 10426
From: piopolis, quebec canada
Registered: Jul 2005
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posted May 02, 2007 07:51 PM
by what you have written you are judging others, making yourSelves to appear better, than the rest, please,
look at what you write.LOve and Reverence for ALL. ... IP: Logged |
Heart--Shaped Cross
Moderator Posts: 4151
From: 11/6/78 11:38am Boston, MA
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted May 02, 2007 07:59 PM
I'm sorry to hear your life has been so difficult lately, Fayte.
You can always expect to find a sympathetic ear here.I'll take your advice to heart,
and try to count my blessings. Funny how the grass is always greener, though. Sometimes I think I'd give my "kingdom" for a mate. I bet you wouldnt give up your husband for any of those things you covet. Or would you? IP: Logged |
Mirandee
Knowflake Posts: 2434
From: South of the Thumb Taurus, Pisces, Cancer
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted May 02, 2007 08:06 PM
Lotus, I am judging Steve's actions in deleting this thread. The whole thread was begun just to ask him what happened to the Muck thread, not to judge him. It was HE who judged me in stating that I jumped to unfounded accusations. Well, my accusations were not all that unfounded as he admitted he deleted the thread didn't he? Had he just come out and explained in the first place instead of telling me that I am intellectually inferior to him I would not have said in the last post what I did. My purpose in life is not to be a challenge to him or anyone else. Nor is it to please others in expressing my true and honest feelings. Actions can be judged. People can be judged according to their actions. When Jesus said, " Do not judge, lest you be judged," he was not speaking of making judgments based on actions, he was speaking of condemnation. Do not condemn is what he meant. I am not condemning HSC and neither is Fayte. Because Jesus also said in another instance, " You can judge a tree by it's fruit." I am judging the tree here, not condemning HSC. IP: Logged |
Heart--Shaped Cross
Moderator Posts: 4151
From: 11/6/78 11:38am Boston, MA
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted May 02, 2007 08:07 PM
I have great responses to all of your questions, Mirandee,
but, I no longer care enough about what you think to respond to you.I'm staying at LL, because, after all, its not "all morons", but I'm taking your advice and making a choice not to communicate with you.
Peace
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Heart--Shaped Cross
Moderator Posts: 4151
From: 11/6/78 11:38am Boston, MA
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted May 02, 2007 08:12 PM
I'm only responding to this because it applies to my modship: quote:
Well, my accusations were not all that unfounded as he admitted he deleted the thread didn't he?
You were right about one thing;
I deleted the thread.
But even that was not on purpose,
as you supposed.
Everything else you said was wrong. IP: Logged |
lotusheartone
Knowflake Posts: 10426
From: piopolis, quebec canada
Registered: Jul 2005
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posted May 02, 2007 08:16 PM
Mirandee, you must truly look at your posts, for in most, someone, or some group is judged by you! IP: Logged |
fayte.m
Knowflake Posts: 6511
From:
Registered: Mar 2005
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posted May 02, 2007 11:43 PM
quote:
I'm sorry to hear your life has been so difficult lately, Fayte.
You can always expect to find a sympathetic ear here.
Thank you but sympathy I do not want.
quote:
I'll take your advice to heart,
and try to count my blessings.
Thank you. It really does help to put things into perspective.
quote:
Funny how the grass is always greener, though.
Not sure what you mean there. The grass is the grass and always green. It is all in how one's view their own grass. I have lovely nutritious dandelions in mine and chicory. Some would call them weeds. I like my grass just fine. EVERYONE does have real troubles. There is no one without them.
quote:
Sometimes I think I'd give my "kingdom" for a mate.
There is the rub sir. You said; "Sometimes"....and "think".....
That in my opinion means you would not do so; at least not in the forseeable future be willing to do so.
I am not going into my story here.
But I did dare God and I did say I'd give anything to find my spiritual and mental equal, my soulmate. When you are truly ready
for that kind of committment, you would not hesitate to leave your Kingdom behind without a backward glance. Your Kingdom would mean nothing by comparison.
quote:
I bet you wouldnt give up your husband for any of those things you covet.
Or would you?
No, I would not trade my husband  for anything. Such a selfish thought you put into your question.... seems very deranged to me. Would you trade your soulmate for material things or a perfect physique? That is not a thought I would ever even consider.
That was a very weird thing to say HSC.
Even if I had not met him I would feel the same way.
In fact I did.
Covet?
No I do not.
Do not assume I feel as you or others may on that issue.
I am happy for the good luck and wealth others have! 
I do have wealthy friends.
But they are not whining about not having enough or b!tching about their lives. They, like myself, Do count their blessings.
If they were whiners they would not be my friends because I would avoid such self centered selfish people.
I do not begrudge anyone good fortune.
I just hate seeing folks not appreciate what they do have. ------------------
~Judgement Must Be Balanced With Compassion~
~Do Not Seek Wealth From The Suffering, Or The Dire Needs Of Others~
~Assumption Is The Bane Of Understanding~
}><}}}(*> <*){{{><{
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Mirandee
Knowflake Posts: 2434
From: South of the Thumb Taurus, Pisces, Cancer
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted May 02, 2007 11:46 PM
Yeah, Lotus, whatever. Liked I judged you when you were being ganged up on. Right. I got it. And you don't judge. hee hee Is to laugh. Maybe you should go back and read all of your posts. In fact, you are judging me now.  IP: Logged |
Mirandee
Knowflake Posts: 2434
From: South of the Thumb Taurus, Pisces, Cancer
Registered: Sep 2004
|
posted May 02, 2007 11:47 PM
Fine with me, HSC. You never liked hearing anything but people sucking up to you and agreeing with you and praising you anyway. *YAWN*IP: Logged |
fayte.m
Knowflake Posts: 6511
From:
Registered: Mar 2005
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posted May 02, 2007 11:51 PM
On another note:
I noticed IQ brought up.
I suspect there are several genius level folks at LL.
Most do not talk about it often if at all.
I am a Genius. But WTF does that have to do with anything?
I scored a high of 180.
So what?
I do not feel like anything special because of it. In fact it makes me more aware of what little I know in comparison to all there is to know.
And Lotus, I have tried to help you.
And stuck up for you even though I got grief for it.
Folks still bad mouth you and I still stick up for you.
Back off Chickadee and put a sock in it already or play nice please.------------------
~Judgement Must Be Balanced With Compassion~
~Do Not Seek Wealth From The Suffering, Or The Dire Needs Of Others~
~Assumption Is The Bane Of Understanding~
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lotusheartone
Knowflake Posts: 10426
From: piopolis, quebec canada
Registered: Jul 2005
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posted May 02, 2007 11:56 PM
LOve and Reverence to ALL, I will not cast stones. ...IP: Logged |
fayte.m
Knowflake Posts: 6511
From:
Registered: Mar 2005
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posted May 03, 2007 12:06 AM
Then God Bless Everyone and Goodnight folks.
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~Judgement Must Be Balanced With Compassion~
~Do Not Seek Wealth From The Suffering, Or The Dire Needs Of Others~
~Assumption Is The Bane Of Understanding~
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Heart--Shaped Cross
Moderator Posts: 4151
From: 11/6/78 11:38am Boston, MA
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted May 03, 2007 10:15 AM
I expect more from you, fayte, than to hear you refer to an ironic question of mine as "selfish" and "deranged" (and you accuse me of being harsh). It seems I hit a nerve. Your post, which I was responding to, innumerated your troubles, and other people's uncounted blessings. My question about your husband was ironic, and was intended to suggest to you that, while you may tell others to count their blessings, you might bear in mind that the one thing they do not have (and, so, cannot count) is, in fact, the one thing you hold dearest, and which you would not trade for all the blessings in the world. And now you tell me that you asked precisely for this. So you might count your own pearl of great price, rather than reflect upon all the things you chose to give up, and all the things you chose to endure, for the sake of him. You make a very strong point, though, when you indicate that I am not yet willing to renounce everything for that one. A very strong point. And I take it to the quick. It seems that I too may have chosen my condition, in some sense. But I wonder, is it necessary to choose between things, or, perhaps, would God be pleased to grant us all the desires of our heart, if we were but bold enough to ask for them, and had faith enough in "His" generosity?
peace,
s
IP: Logged |
fayte.m
Knowflake Posts: 6511
From:
Registered: Mar 2005
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posted May 03, 2007 11:36 AM
Counting my blessings is something I did long before I met him.
Your bringing him into the counting of blessings made it appear that you felt that without him I would not, never have, ever have, counted my blessings.
If that is what you meant...then you are WRONG!
I had almost 43 years of harsh struggles to deal with and overcome; "before" we found each other.
I counted my blessings daily.
Thanking God and repeating that mantra; "There But For The Grace Of God Go I"
The only exceptions were when I could not see the blessings nor count them easily, were;
My suicidal times.
Twice when I was a daily stoner during a couple bad trips, and another after being assaulted and raped.
And one more time when I was depressed due to the counted hardships outweighing the counted blessings, and the steroids and other meds interferring with my reasoning abilities inducing severe clinical depression.
I managed to pull myself up with God's help which I literally screamed for, and since then have been able to count my blessings and not be pulled down into the deep well of abysmal despair again, even when the hardships sometimes outnumber the blessings.
All that "BEFORE" I met my beloved.
I had to be able to be whole alone, and be able to cope and count my blessings despite hardships, before we met. We could not be the couple we are if we had not dealt with our demons and our individual reactions to hardships before we met.
Yes what we have is to us the ultimate blessing!
But we both learned to count our blessings before we met each other.
And your insinuation that one could, or would be willing to exchange that ultimate blessing for other things, I could not help but find offensiive,
seeing as how you did direct it at me, as if some part of you thought I would be able to stoop to such an unevolved level.
Your addition of; quote:
"Would you?"
tells me you were doubting me and my moral values, and what I hold dear, and placing me in your eyes in the herd who would trade the ultimate blessing for materialistic and hedonistic gains.
It sure appeared to be a backhanded insult directed towards my integrity.
Maybe you did not intend it as that.
I cannot read your mind.
There also seemed to be the subtle hint that you were insinuating I was talking about my hardships to gain your pity.
I only brought up a small portion of my woes to illustrate a point.
COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS!
Even without the ultimate blessing; one still has blessings to count!
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~Judgement Must Be Balanced With Compassion~
~Do Not Seek Wealth From The Suffering, Or The Dire Needs Of Others~
~Assumption Is The Bane Of Understanding~
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fayte.m
Knowflake Posts: 6511
From:
Registered: Mar 2005
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posted May 03, 2007 11:44 AM
Why you and I get into these p!ssing matches I do not know.
If we both knew, then perhaps the misunderstandings and miscommunications would resolve. 
"Assumption Is The Mother Of All F-Ckups"
and you, and yes, I too, have been guilty of falling into the "Assumption Trap" in our discourses with each other.
I am not sure how we can resolve this problem; but am willing to try to do so.
Our Charts are similar in some ways, but not in all. Pethaps there is a clue to be found there.
I enjoy conversing with you when we are not fighting.
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~Judgement Must Be Balanced With Compassion~
~Do Not Seek Wealth From The Suffering, Or The Dire Needs Of Others~
~Assumption Is The Bane Of Understanding~
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Heart--Shaped Cross
Moderator Posts: 4151
From: 11/6/78 11:38am Boston, MA
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted May 03, 2007 01:25 PM
You are right about assumptions.And your insinuation that one could, or would be willing to exchange that ultimate blessing for other things, I could not help but find offensiive, I did not, or did not intend to, insinuate anything like this. What I was trying to show you is that you positively would NOT trade the love you have found for anything. The reason I presented it in that way, was to express what I saw as the irony in telling me not to lament the love that I do not have in my life and, instead, to count the blessings which you yourself consider of little worth in comparison to that love (which you have). Do you see? Anyway, I seemed to have made an assumption of my own. I did not know that you were speaking from the perspective of someone who lived for more than forty years without that love in your life, and that you had learned to count your blessings long before you were blessed with something truly, truly great. Your advice has more weight with me now, for that reason. I like it when we get along, too.
love to you,
s
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fayte.m
Knowflake Posts: 6511
From:
Registered: Mar 2005
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posted May 03, 2007 03:07 PM
quote:
The reason I presented it in that way, was to express what I saw as the irony in telling me not to lament the love that I do not have in my life and, instead, to count the blessings which you yourself consider of little worth in comparison to that love (which you have). Do you see?
Yes I do see your persepective.
But again you misunderstood me, and or, I was not clear in what I was saying.
I DID, and still DO value those blessings of the decades before I met him!
Those blessings were in no way diminished in their value by my meeting him!
It is only by comparison in relationship to the question you presented;
of would I trade him in for any of those previous blessings, that it ONLY SEEMS like they meant little to me and held no value. You presented me with a CHOICE.
Of course I CHOOSE HIM!
But that does not devalue the blessings that came before, or since, that are not of him!
So even without love, those are valuable and valued, even cherished blessings!
Love is a wonderful wonderful wonderful blessing but it does not ruin the value of the other blessings.
If you had a lovely silver ring....
Is it in and of itself any less lovely simply because you later aquire a gold or platinum one? Would you throw it out?
Of course not!
Each blessing...
No matter how small or large.......
Is as a perfect blessing, a treasure, in and of itself!
Each Blessing Stands Alone, On Each Their Own Merit!!
I do very muchly like it when we talk....not fight.
Thank you again for taking another look and seeing my perspective.
Yes I have my beloved and you do not "yet".
And until I was almost 43 years old, neither did I have a true beloved. But I did have blessings to count. Just as you do my friend.
God Bless and May Love find you and you find Love.
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~Assumption Is The Bane Of Understanding~
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