Posts: 825
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat......... fayte1954@hotmail.com LEXIGRAMMING
Registered: Jan 2008

posted May 12, 2008 01:59 PM         

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Now that I am out..
I can finally post this poem here.

As a little child I took the Pinocchio story to heart.
When I saw the movie "AI" I totally lost it. It brought back all those memories of when I was 4 and 5, believing in fairy tales and thinking a real blue fairy could turn me into a real boy! It was not until I was raped by a straight man at age nine that I realized I was not going to ever meet the Blue Fairy and get my wish.
I posted this elsewhere, but it illustrates my feelings at age 4 and 5.
Written much later, but is all how I felt.
Musings on the inequities of life at about age 5, put into words much later.

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posted May 12, 2008 02:02 PM         

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to you always.

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From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat......... fayte1954@hotmail.com LEXIGRAMMING
Registered: Jan 2008

posted May 12, 2008 02:20 PM         

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Thank you
Love
Lexx

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posted May 12, 2008 05:11 PM         

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From: MAINE! :)
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posted May 12, 2008 06:32 PM         

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Wonderous...

& blessings!

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posted May 12, 2008 06:33 PM         

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posted May 12, 2008 07:12 PM         

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posted May 12, 2008 07:48 PM         

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That was so tender, LEXX.

Thanks for sharing...

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posted May 12, 2008 09:53 PM         

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"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." Charles Schultz

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From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat......... fayte1954@hotmail.com LEXIGRAMMING
Registered: Jan 2008

posted May 12, 2008 10:53 PM         

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Everyone!
fieryscales, ListensToTrees, ghanima81, 26taurus, Charlotte, NosiS, Randall
As with my coming out posts, I never expected such a wonderful, understanding, and caring flood of responses!
God Bless All Of You!

For those who want to know when I came out:
COMING OUT AT LAST

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posted May 12, 2008 11:35 PM         

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Now that I read that with the backstory, it made me cry.

Thank you for opening up to us, LEXX!

You are a great blessing here.

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From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat......... fayte1954@hotmail.com LEXIGRAMMING
Registered: Jan 2008

posted May 12, 2008 11:45 PM         

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Oh NosiS!
I am crying with joy!
I have received so much grief over this before and was so terrified of being found out here.
Some folks can be very cruel.
You are all a rare blessing!
I am still stunned at the love being expressed and understanding and acceptance!

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posted May 13, 2008 02:19 AM         

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We all you, Lexx.

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posted May 13, 2008 04:53 PM         

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Dear Lady Lexx,

I am so glad for you that you can now be YOU. I am so happy for you!

So much love to you

Amanda

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The truth is ... everything counts. Everything. Everything we do and everything we say. Everything helps or hurts; everything adds to or takes away from someone else. ~ Countee Cullen

We are weaving character every day, and the way to weave the best character is to be kind and to be useful. Think right, act right; it is what we think and do that makes us who we are. ~ Elbert Hubbard

The simple act of caring is heroic. ~ Edward Albert

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From: Infinity
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posted May 13, 2008 08:27 PM         

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Awww. This is beautiful!

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From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat......... fayte1954@hotmail.com LEXIGRAMMING
Registered: Jan 2008

posted May 13, 2008 09:42 PM         

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fieryscales!

LTT!
Sweeeeet!

goatgirl
"Lady"??? LEXX... You might think differently if you saw me when I have not shaved! NOT posting those publicly!
Thank you for your kind words and giving me a giggle.

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posted May 13, 2008 11:13 PM         

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Habits are hard to break eh? Glad I could bring you a laugh. Either way the sentiment remains the same

Love,
Amanda

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The truth is ... everything counts. Everything. Everything we do and everything we say. Everything helps or hurts; everything adds to or takes away from someone else. ~ Countee Cullen

We are weaving character every day, and the way to weave the best character is to be kind and to be useful. Think right, act right; it is what we think and do that makes us who we are. ~ Elbert Hubbard

The simple act of caring is heroic. ~ Edward Albert

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From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat......... fayte1954@hotmail.com LEXIGRAMMING
Registered: Jan 2008

posted May 13, 2008 11:35 PM         

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goatgirl
Heh heh...there really are not any titles or pronouns for this is there?
Someone suggested "herm" in lieu of him or her as a neutral gender word. But it really does not sound right to me.
So what would be a lady/gentleman?

Society just is not ready for gender neutrals or blends.

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posted May 14, 2008 12:00 AM         

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Herm sounds like a bump on your thumb or something like that to me.

Maybe in another 50 years we'll think of something appropriate. English is so inadequate...

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The truth is ... everything counts. Everything. Everything we do and everything we say. Everything helps or hurts; everything adds to or takes away from someone else. ~ Countee Cullen

We are weaving character every day, and the way to weave the best character is to be kind and to be useful. Think right, act right; it is what we think and do that makes us who we are. ~ Elbert Hubbard

The simple act of caring is heroic. ~ Edward Albert

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Posts: 4070
From: Australia
Registered: Jan 2004

posted May 15, 2008 06:41 AM         

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Just giving you some love Fayte...x My brother was born a female, 20 now. And the pain of misunderstanding is heartbreaking to witness.

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From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat......... fayte1954@hotmail.com LEXIGRAMMING
Registered: Jan 2008

posted May 15, 2008 03:07 PM         

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goatgirl!
Indeed! English limits us...all language does.

Sunchild!
Thank you! I wanted to tell you this long ago when You mentioned your brother. You know first hand how difficult it is. I would imagine he was suicidal over it at times too. Even at times I have a small breakdown trying to deal with living in my perma drag flesh suit which just does not fit who I am. You brother was able to be "transformed"?
I wish I could be.:
But they took away too much when I was born in their efforts to force me to be female.
I was born both. If I cannot be a real guy, I would have welcomed staying a hermaphrodite!
I sometimes wonder if it was some kind of warped twisted jealousy that I could have had the best of both worlds being literally dual gendered!
Freaking idiots! So now I am stuck with both male and female type physical health troubles minus not having the equipment I was born with. Most doctors are clueless here. OB/GYNs are confused...regular doctors baffled just shake their heads.
Sigh....
Oh well.
Arrrghhh!

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posted May 15, 2008 03:50 PM         

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posted May 24, 2008 03:38 AM         

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From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat......... fayte1954@hotmail.com LEXIGRAMMING
Registered: Jan 2008

posted May 24, 2008 11:16 AM         

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LTT
Thank you again!{{{HUGS}}}}

teaselbaby
I replied to you on the other thread! http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum10/HTML/003183-4.html

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From: Australia
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posted May 25, 2008 12:59 AM         

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I know, it feels like you were mutilated, so sad. My Bro still has woman parts, and he is so male it's hard to imagine that he has breasts and female genitials. He works out a lot and his small breasts look more like muscles now, not much fat on his body at all. He has prosthetic male parts to make him feel more normal. Yes he was suicidal and I've been reading his poetry and it's so heartbreaking not to feel compatible with your body.

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