posted January 15, 2015 01:38 PM            

As I recover, re-center and revisit a situation, I decided to 'clean up' my life and seek (or create) clarity to gain closure or to keep on going. One of them is my seemingly unfinished business with a particular person.

Learned this spread from a psychic that read for me once, read it many times for others and was kind of surprised with the pull I got this time (those major arcanas)
I share this with you since it is a personal reading (querent is me) so to avoid too much bias- I hope you can review my interpretations of this- and I appreciate any feedback

Spread:

#1 Relationship Situation: The Hierophant
#2 Querent's thoughts of the relationship: The Empress
#3 Quesited's thoughts of the relationship : The World
#4 Querent's feelings of the relationship: Seven of Swords
#5 Quesited's feelings of the relationship: The Emperor
#6 Querent's outside behaviour towards the relationship: The Star
#7 Quesited's outside behaviour towards the relationship: Ace of Swords

(# = order pulled)

I rarely pulled Hierophant as situation before, so it's intriguing to me because it showed me many different meaning to this spread.

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INTERPRETATION (feel free to look at the situation clues that may aid the clarity of interpretation below this block):

#1 Relationship Situation: The Hierophant
Tradition, teaching, belief, society
Two possible interpretation would be:
1. Things are stagnant and will keep at it is (keeping the tradition)
2. A decisive situation has formed that is following the 'tradition' of things (order/progression)

#2 Querent's thoughts of the relationship: The Empress
Affection, nurture, motherly, care, comfort, creative force
Querent is a woman (me lol) that re-established contact to the quesited (man), out of curiosity and worry of the quesited. Thinks the friendship worth keeping due to the feeling of safety, freedom of thoughts & comfort it provides & generally good thoughts towards the quesited. The friendship is thought as special to the querent as it created massive spiritual growth for her.

#3 Quesited's thoughts of the relationship : The World
Completion, connection, new start/era
Few possibilities- the reconnection is regarded as good by the quesited (noted by positive dialogue, even if still a bit guarded)

#4 Querent's feelings of the relationship: Seven of Swords
deception, strategy, gathering information
It is possible that the querent is actually still hoping for something to happen, and deep down is literally 'gathering information'. Perhaps a facade (friendship)? Something that can be potentially dishonest that I need to reflect upon.

#5 Quesited's feelings of the relationship: The Emperor
Endurance, rules, order, structure, older/father
Possible this represents the quesited himself (older man) and his approach towards the relationship/reconnection deep down- a bit guarded, more in control (as opposed to his roller-coaster, emotional turmoil days) and laid down his own rules on how to interact this time (which definitely shows- less open/more careful)

#6 Querent's outside behaviour towards the relationship: The Star
Optimism, renewal, peace, hope
Simply shows that querent seems to be at peace with the situation (as opposed to the past where confusion was clearly present) and hope for renewal of friendship.

#7 Quesited's outside behaviour towards the relationship: Ace of Swords
new plans, new perspective, sharp mind, seeking truth
Quesited simply approach the situation as it is, sincerely and truthfully- here and now as shown by his responses that tend to be very direct, simple and decisive/not vague. Assessing situation.

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SITUATION CLUES:

Querent and quesited = close friends 1+ years, never physically intimate, not dating. Big age gap (quesited older). Definite connection felt from both sides -question is - what kind? Many 'separations' had to happen due to feelings/confusion, quesited date other women in these separation- ended up with one that was 'appropriate' (his words).
Querent 'bowed out' but they end up reconnecting much later. A very careful renewed rapport is formed.

peculiarities:
Querent has met/stayed with quesited parents on her personal holiday, arranged by quesited - at the time quesited still in relationship. Querent met his parents without quesited (arranged)
Status of quesited's relationship unknown upon reconnection.

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SUMMARY:
two possible outcomes:

1. Things will stay at it is because quesited may still be in relationship with the said 'appropriate' lady (hierophant - society pressure to do the 'right thing') but the friendship is renewed with much less confusion from quesited's part, but still a bit of hope from querent perspective that it will grow into something more (but futile)

2. Things may progress into something that brings clarity, either closure or growth, and both party approach the renewed friendship with hope and different approach (less confusion, more honesty/sincerity) and there's a possibility of escalation to something more 'committed'/clear [hierophant]

posted January 15, 2015 02:33 PM            

There is something confusing about this spread, at least to me. Having feelings and thoughts about a "relationship". Why there is the need for two strings here.
Thoughts about a relationship: if a relationship exists, the cards here show what a person thinks about it, what is the place of the relationship in their general view of things, in their life. For example, they may think this relationship is a major breakthrough, changing them for the better: Tower + Sun, or something peaceful or boring: 4 of Sw. If a romantic relationship doesn't exist, this line answers how the person views a prospective relationship. There's also the question of querent's TRUE intentions/wish: let's say we talk about "friendship" here, but what the querent wishes to know when asking the cards (and wishes and wants from this) is if they will have a romantic relationship or not, with the quesited. In my experience with cards, the cards always give answers related to the true intentions and when the questions are phrased with different words than the intention, the answers are always confusing.

Feeling about a relationship: I'm not sure we can have feelings ABOUT a relationship, but we can pull cards to see how someone feels IN that relationship, his emotional involvement in the relationship. I mean once you have his opinion about the relationship (thoughts) this line should be useless, unless asked this way: how he feels in this relationship, how his emotional needs are met.

For example, someone may think this relationship is a breakthrough for his spiritual evolution or whatnot, but feel miserable in this relationship.

The last question: outside behavior. I suppose these are intentions/actions, what each protagonist will do next? Or is the purpose of the spread to identify the difference between what one thinks/feels and one does (behavior)? You discussed the outcome, but you pulled no outcome cards

Overall, to me, the way this spread is conceived is unclear. I believe before pulling cards we need to be very specific (and simple) about what the cards are supposed to show.

So maybe you can clarify a bit what each line is supposed to show?

On the other hand, the story itself is a bit unclear too, to me. In the situation you describe, assuming your interest is to know if a romantic relationship will or will not develop between you and this person, from his perspective, considering there is another person involved (which sometimes makes readings about feelings useless, in the sense of: who cares what this guy feels or not for me since he is with another person?) I would probably use a more direct spread to identify his intentions with the other person, with me, and if a romantic relationship is possible or not between the two of us.

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posted January 15, 2015 07:51 PM            

(left row querent, middle is situation, right row is quesited)

This spread is not meant to give clear 'outcome' or any prediction- hence no 'outcome' position. This spread- as read by another psychic to me back then, was meant to seen as a guidance. It gives insights on how querent and quesited think or feel about the situation at play so the querent can decide on what they are going to do (or not) about it. It exactly gives you that- a clarity on unclear and confusing situation. The conclusion is meant to be drawn by the querent themselves, or interpreted by the psychic and see if it resonates to the querent. In a way, I see it as more empowering.

Thinking and feeling is a different thing- just like you said it: One may think a relationship is good for them (perfect on paper), but deep down they feel unsettled about it. The cards may often show what is hidden behind things- things that one may refuse to face or acknowledge. Thinking and feeling can often be different thing.

Outside behavior: is how they act. again, the insight given is information for the querent so they can decide on what they are going to do about the situation (facilitate it? end it?). A clarification.

So, why I say ABOUT and not IN, is because it's about how each party view the relationship itself as a subject (about the situation they're in)

The way it is read is often using the #1 card as synthesis of the overall situation. I've read for quite a few and proven to be quite accurate while giving the querents something for them to work on as well- and taking responsibility of their own actions.

This spread is also have a short timeframe- meant as a snapshot of the current energy and how strong it will influence the future events. Minor arcana 'situations' meant it's something that can be modified or changed by querent, while major arcana situations are strong indication of something is meant to happen the way it is and there are lessons to be had.

So to sum it up: this spread is often used to gain clarity and give guidance/insight on a confusing situation for the querent so they can decide on what to do, rather than spelling out 'destiny' or predictions. The reading is only as good as the question asked (and the intention of the querent). So it's part 'counseling'. I suppose.

posted January 16, 2015 01:40 PM            

I will tell you what I think about this combo and how I see it, but I have to say two things first. The first one is that I don't believe major arcana is forces not in our power and minor arcana things we can change, in the sense that all energies/archetypes in both arcanas can come either from the outside or the inside, depending on the circumstances. There are indeed several "fate intervention" cards in both arcanas, but apart from that, the journey of the tarot is similar to Campbell's monomyth, in my view.

The second thing is about what this man said about his girlfriend, that she is "appropriate": major red flag. Boo. It reminds me of what my ex told me, after we had visited his uncle: apparently his uncle told him his previous gf (with whom he had spent 5 years) was not much of a woman, but I am "totally hot". And my ex told this to me with pride. Lucky me, it was one little thing helping me to get rid of him eventually. Whatever he says about another woman, his girlfriend, will one day say about you. So do with this man whatever you would like another woman, a friend, to do with or to him, if he were your boyfriend.

I concur with your interpretation of the Hierophant, both ideas.

I will look at both cards (thoughts/feelings) he has for the relationship and consider this as his opinion about your current relationship: so World-Emperor, two possible interpretations:

-this relationship means the world to him, it is very important, it empowers him
-this relationship is an occasion for him to dominate, mostly to show and experience male dominance

His outside behavior towards the relationship...unfortunately it's unclear from the spread if this is something he will do in the near future or he's doing now (and describing someone's current behavior is pointless in my view, unless you are separated from him, you don't know what he does)

Ace of Swords: being rational, objective, telling the truth, finding a clear cut solution, doing what is right and just, solving the situation through a decisive act.

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posted January 16, 2015 08:51 PM            

The 'appropriate' comment was a simplification of what was said and I understood what he meant he had been going through a couple of toxic relationships (duration of our friendship) after his separation, even almost becoming alcoholic. Two of the women I even knew personally at the time (separately- I didn't know they were involved with him until some events unfolded) and it was a mess of a situation. One of the woman who moved in, abandoned him and came back pregnant was a year younger than me (two decades) and that messed with his head a lot- half loss, half blaming himself for getting involved in the first place/letting loneliness taking control of his life.

The problem is that he was a naive expatriate, and because i'm born and living in the city (and used to be an expatriate in another country as well), I knew he was involving himself in a situation where he doesn't have much control or knowledge in. Extreme depression, loneliness, not facing his own demons, sizable wealth, ignoring responsibilities and letting whoever comes. Our fights were mostly me being concerned, because I have seen many expatriates and I know this guy is a very good guy at heart (not like many others I've known here- which confirmed later when I visited his parents)

So, he met this woman, who is another expatriate, same hobbies and interest and similar prestigious occupation. No language barrier and most importantly, they look appropriate together (age etc). He told me, this is the first adult relationship ever since his divorce. it's appropriate. Both fears being alone. Both seeks companionship. They talk. It's appropriate.

But I know a certain connection is missing between them. Seems like he knows also. We both know we have something different. Too many coincidences to the point it's uncomfortable to ignore. The whole comfort and the unspoken understanding, the feeling of being safe and able to be vulnerable (both ways) without having to be physically intimate. It was nice when it lasted.

But, he choose her, because it's appropriate. We're 2 decades apart in age. He has his own share of fear and heartbreaks. From visiting his parents, I know he long for such companionship model- his parents are very close, they are what I honestly can call a sincere, lifelong partnership.

None of us know what we're doing in life, but at that point I understood the biggest difference: He choose companionship due to fear of being alone, while I personally choose being alone over companionship unless it really adds to both lives (I don't seek to have children etc which is a benefit I guess). So, I let go.

So we had distance. But recently we reconnected which prompted this spread to gain insight.

Thank you for your interpretation of world/emperor. Unsure if the dominance resonate, as we both are assertive people in our own ways (despite my age) and never once I felt he dominated me as we were very respectful to each other. I am not sure either if he thinks 'the world' of this relationship.