posted October 25, 2005 03:37 AM         

It is something much deeper than that.

Has anyone read the FAQs?

posted October 25, 2005 12:41 PM         

All I have to say about cuddlefest is, Ick. I'm all set with having some strange pervert's paws all over me. It's enough for me when they do it with their eyes.

posted October 25, 2005 01:20 PM         

As to your statement, why do they have to be perverts? And what if you were cuddling with a woman - would they be perverts too?

posted October 25, 2005 03:16 PM         

It seems that you, AG, and a few others think it abberent that someone *wouldn't* want to go, and have told them so.

Granted, I have not gone over this thread with a fine-toothed comb, but it does not seem like any (or at least many) of those who've called it "creepy" have said that you yourself are creepy for wanting to go; just more that it's not their bag.

Examine the matter astrologically, if you wish:
Perhaps some of those more comfortable with cuddling about are those with more airy placements, some flirty, touchy fire going on, and/or Venus skipping around.
Perhaps those who're not have emphasized water swishing about or a more stodgy and/or contained Venus...maybe they have Saturn placements that indicate that they're more likely to be self-contained except with those with whom they feel they can be vulnerable, open.

On my end, I'll point to my Scorp Asc, Venus in Taurus, interestingly aspected Aqua Moon, and fun Saturn placement/aspects.
To be spontaneously physically intimate feels wrong to me - it would be forced and superficial with all but those with whom I'm the most emotionally and intellectually intimate - but there's no judgement on how others go about their business.

posted October 25, 2005 03:54 PM         

I don't mind that people would not want to go. I'm just curious about their motivations for making assumptions on it. You can see throughout this thread where I've tried to understand, and offer scenarios to see if it changes the perception.

There are three big detracting statements I've seen:

1. Creepy
2. Perverted
3. Too intimate

Creepy really seems to deal with either of the last two.

Perverted - I understand where the sentiment comes from, but I don't understand whether or not there's a legitimate concern there. I'm not saying the feeling are illegitimate, but rather the notion that a cuddle party is a group of perverts getting together. If that does happen to be the case, I'll be very surprised.

Intimacy - This is a difficult one to tackle, because it can mean different things to different people. The more I think about this, the more I start to believe that I'm a person who just doesn't mind putting quite a bit of myself out in front of people. I feel intimate with some of the people of LL, too, and yet you all are complete strangers in practical terms. I've always been very forthright here, and perhaps that's my nature. This is partially why I feel like even if I go I'll be spared from looking 'creepy' in the eyes of people at LL. What intrigues me is why I can be this way, but another person can't or won't.

I'm not looking to condemn anyone for feeling the way they do. I'm just trying to understand. I make statements to see the reaction to those statements. I would appreciate it if people put themselves in hypothetical situations and give their observations of what they feel.

Does cuddling amongst the same sex for women quell any of the creepiness?

If you went to a cuddle party, and thought you wouldn't be able to stay, but then had, say, your hero walk up to you and ask you to stay and participate would you feel differently about the experience?

If you attended as a single woman, and there happened to be an extremely hot guy (by your own definition) there would you be more tempted to stay if you had the opportunity to cuddle with him?

posted October 25, 2005 04:56 PM         

Are you simply curious as to the psychological reasons why people might be opposed and are looking for objective input, or are you concerned that people are judging you and feel you must defend yourself?

I'm all for the digging into all our heads and thinking more deeply on the real reasons why something seems uncomfortable to us.

If you feel criticized, I, for one, hold no such judgment on you and am more fascinated by the novelty of this thing. Personally, I admire that you're following your free-spirited drives and I'm interested in hearing where that takes you.

You have argued your points logically and eloquently (as always) and I admire that you always know where you stand and aren't easily distracted from that.

I still don't think I would do it because it doesn't feel right to me. But then again, I don't believe you've tried recruiting anyone, either. Perhaps I'd think differently if I wasn't involved in a serious relationship... I might be more inclined to see it as a flirty, social, singles-type event. Really not much different from a singles dance. In theory, anyway.

posted October 25, 2005 06:43 PM         

I was a touch fearful about how I might be being perceived, especially when the first comments were essentially that it's creepy. However, in the end I have more faith in people's opinion of me here. I've been pretty open with people here, and I think you all have a good idea where I'm coming from on things. That doesn't stop my Capricornian desire to have people like me.

So I guess in the end it's a little bit of both. I was searching for a compelling reason not to go, but I don't think I'm going to hear one.

posted October 25, 2005 07:05 PM         

"I would try anything once
except for incest and
morris dancing:

hahahahaha

I think you might even enjoy it...and hey who knows who you might meet there.......E N J O Y !!!!

LOVED that winnie the pooh pic saturn.....I really love Piglet

posted October 25, 2005 07:21 PM         

AG, I've had a feeling you may be interested in activities like this. Remember that site I told you about months ago? Check it out, www.nerve.com. Hopefully in the archives, there will be columns by written by a guy who used to experiment with ah, "stuff." I thought they were really funny and insightful.

. . .

In my personal onion, a cuddle party seems a bit strange because I would imagine people in this environment having the motive of being platonic on the surface for the opportunity to touch, then it becomes a "safe" opportunity to ask somebody out for sex without looking like a desperate jackass because a "connection" was made.

Just seems like a falsely purported shortcut to find a date with somebody . . . Or would be attended by people who have been historically unsuccessful at connecting with another person through more traditional means.

. . .

posted October 25, 2005 07:26 PM         

I sort of want AG to go just because I look forward to the report I hope will follow. Horribly selfish of me, but there you have it. I'd really like to know exactly why people go and what sort of people they are.

I agree, Ra

And I think Aphrodite is right that a lot of people probably take advantage of the more innocent and/or needy ones there. Which is also a shame.

Either way ... I think it's clear we need to send someone in for a closer look. As long as he can remain neutral and objective.

posted October 25, 2005 10:20 PM         

I haven't heard of www.nerve.com before tonight, and while I'm forever curious I've never gone to an, "activity like this," before. San Francisco does offer quite a range of sexually deviant activities, but I haven't been to any save Bondage A Go-Go at the Trocadero a few times when I first came to the area. It was a dance club, but honestly some of the stuff there was pretty gruesome. I saw a stage show once that made me leave it was so disgusting. There are other things available here as well. I've heard of sex clubs, but never gone. I've heard of the Exotic Erotic Ball, but I've never gone. I think the notion of a cuddle party is quite tame by comparison.

I think the people of LL know me well enough to know these things, but if not, please know that Aphrodite is making assumptions.

I am interested in, "aspects of life that are strange, unfathomable, or taboo," as my Sun in the 8th House says, but we can't neglect the conservative tendencies of my Earthiness, or my Saturn in the 1st.

posted October 25, 2005 11:07 PM         

To make it clear - I have been a member of this site for nearly 4 years and a moderator for some time during my membership here. It is beneath me to attack personally and I don't do it. Clarify? Yes. State an opinion, of course. Have there been counter arguments? Yes.

But attack offensively at a person and start something? No.

posted October 25, 2005 11:40 PM         

quote:

---

I think the people of LL know me well enough to know these things, but if not, please know that Aphrodite is making assumptions.

---

huh?

think, know,assumptions... How does that equate?

posted October 26, 2005 12:12 AM         

I'm sorry. I'm a bit emotional today. I think that maybe my nap didn't take that all away.

I think that whether intentionally or not you took a stab at me Aphrodite. Perhaps it was unconscious on your part. I DO see Aries as aggressive, but I also know that sometimes Aries become victims of unintentional miscommunication.

For my part, I see that you, "had a feeling you [I] may be interested in activities like this," and later you give your impression of people that go to these parties as people who have been historically unsuccessful at connecting with another person through more traditional means. I don't agree with that as a description of me.

You also innocently linked me with a site I knew nothing about. Maybe you did tell me about it, but I'm honestly thoroughly unfamiliar with it.

Finally, I looked up your smiley to see what it meant, and that one is for embarrassment, which is curious.

posted October 26, 2005 03:54 AM         

And those FAQs ... funny! But in my opinion, twisted.

And AG, my opinions have no reflection upon you ... at least not yet.

posted October 26, 2005 12:04 PM         

Sometimes on these boards people can misinterpret what someone is trying to say, and I don't think myself above that.

I also appreciate that you did read the FAQ when this thread was first started.