posted June 30, 2006 08:10 PM            

Lialei, You were still on the topic and I was thinking differently on that episode.
I totally agree with what you said and Mirandee added more thoughts to the explanation later on. Its cool.

The woman must have gone to Jesus singing:

People bring hope to the temple,
and this humble woman brings only her heart.
I have endured the pain and sufferings all the while.
And now I feel and hope you do too, that my suffering must end.

=========================================
I pondered in my heart and instead of getting answers I got more questions.
What is the difference between a Rabbi(teacher) and God? My own heart replied back, but I won't share it as its quite an open answer.

Then it dawned on me, all that suffering that a Rabbi takes of his/her beloved's, does not just vanish. It effects them for minutes , may be hours if its too much of a suffering. The sickness of the beloved dissappears but appears temporarily in the master. Yea the lamb goes to the slaughter house taking all such sickness and diseases of his loved ones.

I better not let the master endure my sickness. Its not my lack of faith on him, but its my own love of him.

All power and glory in the heaven and on earth has been given to me said Jesus afer resurrecting. He will drink of the fruit of the wine with his beloveds when the age of aquarius begins says my mind.

Hope I expressed well in a language what the mind thinks

posted July 01, 2006 12:39 AM              

quote:

---

Do you really believe it ends the cycle?
I haven't found this to be true. In my experience, love, caring, compassion, forgiveness is often times met with cruelty.
I want with all my heart to believe love makes a difference and is meaningful here. But I can't.
My heart is heavy and tired.

---

I hope I’m not being intrusive, but your post lingered in my mind and it brought back a past experience which many times brings laughter and many times it brings tears to my heart… it was very brave of you to share that! In my experience, I’ve also found that love meets with cruelty. Is it a test? Is it life? Is it my karma? I don’t know… but I’m grateful and thank God for helping me understand and transcend that state.

You know, maybe I haven’t had the time of my life in that department and maybe I never will, but I have learned to accept it and move forward… am I young and naïve about love? Maybe, but somehow I don’t think so, as I am grateful for once finding it even though it went away… Maybe time will tell… maybe the opportunity will never present itself to me again… but I am ready to embrace the marvels of love in other areas… Love for life to me is a wonderful and valuable treasure....

Well, I know I will regret this post, but I felt I should throw my two cents here… here is a poem I wrote in my poetry class four years ago—it may not make any sense—but to me it did at that period of my life when I once felt empty….

~Trapped~

I am trapped
Bewildered by the nature of life;
ambivalent about which road to travel.
I look to the heavens during the night,
but the stars become invisible
refusing my presence.

So I sink,
into a cloud of melancholy,
into a sea of tears;
there’s no release,
no song to inspire me,
as if a tidal wave of blackness obliterated my illusions.
I am trapped

Best wishes,

posted July 01, 2006 01:01 AM              

"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom. Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never ever the same."
~Flavia Weedn

posted July 02, 2006 01:27 AM              

I am rising out of it.
Cycles, as they say.
I couldn't point to a single event and romantic love wasn't the cause. It's little swords over a lifetime. You know? They wound and they heal and over time here and there, more wounds, more healing...regardless of friendship, lovers, no given relative name, just of hearts touching hearts and souls touching souls.

Each time you learn more love, acceptance, forgiveness~ above all, understanding. You live honestly, love innocently/selflessly, care deeply, sincerely. Hope eternal. And then you are blindsidedly wounded once again. It's too complex to be singled of experience. It's more panoramic in nature. And suddenly it's like a culmination of all of the past swords to the heart combined in one last hopeful reaching.

What more can be said in such times?
Head bowed surrendered in sorrow and time to walk away.

Amazing how a selfless kind guesture or two, can bring you around again...believing, hoping. Reminding you you're not alone in these inner battles of faith.

Beautiful quote too, silverstone. Pain begets joy.
Once you ride through it.

posted July 02, 2006 10:07 AM              

Quote from D for Defiant:
"I believe human unconditional love exists,"

Yes it does.

Quote:
"and I don't think it's just about enduring the other parties' lack of gratitude and whatever the bad feelings they give me."

***********Sometimes all we can do is move on. Loving does not mean being used as a door mat or whipping boy/girl. Or being taken for granted.

But unconditional love does exist. I try to practice it. It is not always easy. I was for example chased by a crack head woman and fell and broke ribs. I still suffer from that years later. Even though she was chasing me with a loaded gun and caused me to suffer permanet injury...I sat and talked with her and listened to her woes a few days later. I was on our porch when my husband came home to find me sitting with her drinking tea and talking. Another crack head showed up who had robbed me before. My husband was very worried for me, but I said to him later.."they came to talk so I listened."
I was never robbed or attacked by them again. The first woman chased me because she saw a werewolf in her shower and was convinced I sent it to her.

posted July 02, 2006 07:14 PM            

Jesus was quoted saying us to forgive 70 times 7 mistakes. Krishna is supposed to have forgiven 100 mistakes before blowing his top and eventually killing his cousin.

Recently I flipped on a very old guy in the parking lot and even called him an ******* . Age must not be the criteria to decide how we must treat each situation.
If someone's interested I can go in depths. But it was to benefit him I had to do that.
Hope he realizes that and forgives my trespasses

posted July 02, 2006 09:00 PM            

quote:

---

I want with all my heart to believe love makes a difference and is meaningful here. But I can't.
My heart is heavy and tired.

---

posted July 03, 2006 03:02 PM              

Thanks everyone for all the great replies on this thread!

Lia
You will find happiness.

posted July 03, 2006 05:59 PM              

That kind of "hijacking" is just fine by me.
Anytime dear one.

I have been going through some "times" myself and have discovered there are folks out there who do not think I am a freak.

You are sweet and caring and loving and beautiful. Better days are coming.

posted July 03, 2006 06:44 PM              

Zala, Jupiter goes direct? That's how out of it I've been. I've stopped paying attention to transits. Thank you for that warmth. It was greatly appreciated. I'll look for the signs.

D~ yeah, it's never simple.

Kind of like what Jack Handy says:

~If life is a joke, then somebody please explain it to me. Because, I don't get it.

Been reading, and you've been sharing lots of interesting things all over yourself. What you wrote about suicide really helped me contemplate the recent suicide of my uncle in different ways. And I emphasized as well with your own battles with it, for having a lifetime of slippings into that dark place myself as well.
I was struck with how sage you seem for your age.
(and am I remembering right that you are young? )

Thank you for your kindness.

And thanks as well Sue, for your picture a ways back. Forgot to tell you.

posted July 03, 2006 06:46 PM              

Darling Fayte,
A freak? They'd have to not know you at all to think that, so that opinion wouldn't count.
I could never in a million years see you that way. Only in a different, unique and fascinating freakish way.
Glad you've discovered some who care enough to see you.

You're my angel. And I know how you feel about angels, but I don't know how else to say it. A godsend, always.

posted July 04, 2006 10:56 AM              

>>>>>Ok..I am confused...AGAIN!
What threads? What's going on?
Am I duh today?
I do get like that.
As for e-mailing...one of these times we will be on at the same time and I will post it and as soon as you get it I will delete it.

posted July 04, 2006 12:12 PM            

How could anyone know these things?

How could any mortal possibly know
if their desire to "get off the wheel"
is not itself a manifestation of good karma?

How could any mortal know
if their present consciousness
is self-chosen, or,
just the next stage of evolution?

The belief in free will
has always struck me as PROBABLY
presumptuous, short-sighted, and/or arrogant.

Who are we to suppose that
our striving toward God is not God-given?

Who are we to tell others to come down off the cross,
as if the wood were not already being put
to a divine and mysterious use?

As if every jot of the law,
every phase of the journey,
were not necessary and divinely ordained?

As if every "turning away" from God
were not just another bend in the road
that leads us toward God?

Jesus was asked about the meaning of "karma"...

"Why is this man blind and afflicted?
Has he or his parents sinned against God?"

"No one has sinned, or resisted God's will, at any time.
But the will of God must be manifested."

It is what it is.
Let it be what it is.

If you would blame the fruit (man),
blame rather the tree (God)
from which he fell to earth.
For the tree is known by its fruit.

Every person brings forth fruit in his or her own season.
Let not the first fruits of spring,
enamoured of the good sunlight,
turn and accuse their fellows
who are still struggling in the frozen earth.

Let us be humble.
Let us observe the limits of our wisdom,
and not presume to know better than God,
of whom ALL things have been ordained.

Remove the beam from thine own eye,
and thou wilt see clearly to remove
the mote from thy fellow's eye.

The good judge is no judge,
but receives the world as it is,
and waits upon the judgment of God
with understanding and mercy for all;
and does not heep accusation upon accusation,
intoxicated with his or her wit to make others
appear wicked and unnatural,
unmindful of the good that is
ever being wrought in them.

hsc

"Your faces are beautiful,
but they are wooden masks.

You had better run from me.
My words are fire."

- Rumi

"Advice doesnt help lovers!
This is not the kind of mountain stream
you can build a damn across."

- Rumi

posted July 04, 2006 02:00 PM              

>>>I must have missed that "post"? Not sure what you are referring to. Did you save or not save the boy?

>>>HSC.....In striving towards God, is it striving towards an outer God idea or the Godhood within us all? Is it getting off the "wheel" to join in a mindless energy ball of light? Prelude to a great recycling and harvesting of energy for the next big or little bang?

I think it is stopping the payback cycle.

But not a joining with a Oneness where you do not exist anymore as an individual. To be recycled, energy without conciousness, your uniqueness gone.

It is all only theory after all.

I have explained my views before. Not going to explain it all again.

Until I "see" something that makes more sense to me, I will stay with my theory.

It would be easy to just go to a mindless bliss. But no more learning would occur. And ANYthing that claims to know everything is caught in its own delusion and has hit a stasis point. Eternity/Infinity is forever. So growing and learning is too. Absolute Omnipotency is a myth/delusion/illusion. So go to the oneness and mindless unchanging bliss, you won't even be aware of said bliss because you will not be an individual anymore. Soul Borging. Worse than soul Borging. Energy to be consumed. Absorbed. All you are and ever were, gone.Your identity, that which made you unique, your experiences, all your learning..discarded. A true "death" of being. Energy without conciousness is only energy.
That is the easy path and serves no rational purpose other than to be part of the energy required for another big bang.

It is much harder to actually take responsibilty for one's actions and stop the Karmic Payback cycle/wheel. Then to continue learning and experiencing. To me(in theory) that is what getting off the wheel/cycle means. Not the bailing on ones responsibilty and refusing to continue to learn and experience and grow and help others.

Again..all just hypotheticals and theories, and speculations.

posted July 04, 2006 08:36 PM            

Lialei, It was one of those incidents where people just stops totally to get a parking space when I believe the rule is to keep moving in parking lot, like a round robin algorithm, until they get space. I overtook this person and wanted to park in a space just being vacated by another car. This car was 10 car space ahead of this other guy and not the usual 2-3 cars one would expect. When I turned on the parking lot, he approached me from my side and says, he was waiting for that space. What a lie. He would not even had seen this car, if he did why would he be so far away. He did not even turn on his parking indicator. Stubborn people. He must have reasoned that since he came before me, he must get any empty parking space. But he is wrong. Or tell me that I am. Should not one just keep moving? I decided not to move and he could not park either. I teased him for a while and in the end played a good samaritan and decide to give up my rights. I am sure the cop would have asked him, how the heck did he get in that crazy position he was in. Before moving on, I also wanted him to know that he is in the wrong and yelled ******* so that he does not do the same to others. Its unusual of me to flip. I must be consciously thinking of this thread and Krishna's episode. Even Jesus had cursed the fig tree for not yielding its fruits while the other fig trees yielded as per natures seasonal time.

posted July 06, 2006 01:21 PM            

I respect your independent spirit,
but I do not think that a mystical
merging with The Infinite Mind
can be likened to a mindless,
zombifying experience.
On the contrary, one becomes oneself fully.
The ego is what is lost,
but the Self is found.
The part has no real orientation
but in relation to the whole.
The part is not lost, but found,
in the whole.
The drop of water is not vaporized,
by falling into the ocean.
It is not negated, but,
utterly affirmed,... and then some!
Only the mind that seeks to establish
its boundaries and limitations
is threatened by this.
Really, it is not obliterated,
but expanded INFINITELY.
This is what I hold true.

D,

In my opinion...

If you choose to make a distinction
between yourself and God,
then, you are not choosing to get closer,
but further away from God.

posted July 06, 2006 01:47 PM              

>>>What distinction? I see no separation. Reactor/Creator=the Creation and all its parts including each unique individual. You are ALREADY merged but do not realize it.<<<