Posts: 534
From: San Diego CA USA
Registered: Sep 2004

posted October 31, 2004 12:41 AM         

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25 Things For Dogs To Remember

1. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

2. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.

3. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge or sofa, or under the bed.

4. I must shake the rainwater off of my coat 'before' entering the house.

5. I will not eat the cat's food before they eat it, or after they throw it up.

6. I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to get sick.

7. I will not throw up in the car.

8. I will not roll on dead or decaying mammals, fish, or fowl, just because I like the way they smell.

9. "Kitty box crunchies" although they are tasty, are not food.

10. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

11. I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.

12. I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my owners will think I am hemorrhaging.

13. When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.

14. Even though we have a doorbell, I will not bark each time I hear one on television.

15. I will not steal my mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with them.

16. The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad's laps.

17. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

18. I will not bite the state trooper's hand when he reaches in for Dad's license and car registration.

19. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

20. I will not eat mint-flavored dental floss out of the bathroom garbage.

21. I will not roll around in the dirt after getting a bath.

22. I will not belch or sneeze at my owner while sleeping in their bed.

23. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.

24. The toilet bowl is not a never-ending water supply, and just because the water is blue, it doesn't mean it is cleaner.

25. The cat is not a squeaky toy... So when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

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Posts: 3459
From: California
Registered: Oct 2001

posted October 31, 2004 04:06 PM         

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Hey what is going on here? I already replied but it's no where.........Hmmmm must be a Halloween thing.

Anyways, I said Thanks Karen those were great~

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Posts: 591
From:
Registered: Aug 2004

posted November 03, 2004 12:09 AM         

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That was so cute. Made me miss my little Angelpie

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Posts: 68
From: eastcoast australia
Registered: Oct 2004

posted January 15, 2005 06:47 AM         

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Dear Highest Love Beings,
Make me into the person my Dog thinx I Am

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If i only end up being a notch on your bedpost, let it be a notch with a smiley face /:)

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Posts: 24739
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted January 15, 2005 07:28 AM         

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What an entrance! Welcome!

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"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark

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Posts: 3459
From: California
Registered: Oct 2001

posted January 15, 2005 04:01 PM         

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Raihs, Welcome to Heathcliffe's Corner!! We hope you enjoy it here!

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Posts: 68
From: eastcoast australia
Registered: Oct 2004

posted January 19, 2005 09:45 PM         

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Thank you dear ones for the welcome mat ((((warm glo)))) New kid on the block just walkin my dog (Texas T-bone von Perkins)through the landscape of Lindaland, we'll be visiting often and have wanted to come here forever!

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If i only end up being a notch on your bedpost, let it be a notch with a smiley face /:)

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Posts: 24739
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted May 29, 2005 11:00 AM         

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*bump*

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"There is no use trying," said Alice; "one can't believe impossible things." "I dare say you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." Lewis Carroll

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Posts: 2470
From: upstate NY, USA
Registered: Oct 2004

posted May 29, 2005 12:37 PM         

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" 8. I will not roll on dead or decaying mammals, fish, or fowl, just because I like the way they smell."

My dogs try to roll on live ones too my lab just got attacked by a porcupine the other night. *still has the quills*

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Posts: 12629
From: *
Registered: Jun 2004

posted June 15, 2005 04:05 PM         

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Those were cute.

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Posts: 1176
From:
Registered: Jul 2005

posted July 07, 2005 10:52 PM         

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.

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Posts: 1360
From: New York City
Registered: Apr 2005

posted July 07, 2005 10:54 PM         

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Hahaha how about I will not knock over the garbage pail.

My dog does that daily LOL.

And he's 15 years old.

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Gemini sun, Cancer rising, Taurus moon
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I would fly to the moon and back...If you'll be my baby.

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Posts: 24739
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted July 08, 2005 03:48 AM         

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"There is no use trying," said Alice; "one can't believe impossible things." "I dare say you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." Lewis Carroll

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Posts: 1245
From: Palmer, Alaska
Registered: Jul 2004

posted July 14, 2005 05:36 PM         

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*kinda cruel* still humorous ... just dont shoot the messenger ....

1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.
2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted.
3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape).
CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for any purchase they can find.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a 'power wash and rinse' which I have found to be quite effective.
6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself.

Sincerely,

The Dog

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Posts: 24739
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted July 18, 2005 08:46 AM         

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"There is no use trying," said Alice; "one can't believe impossible things." "I dare say you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." Lewis Carroll

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