Posts: 2272
From: Japan
Registered: Aug 2003

posted November 02, 2007 08:41 PM         

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The Dog's Diary:
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

The Cat's Diary:
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them I once again vomited on the carpet.
Today, I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear in their hearts since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I was. B@stards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he walked. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges; he is regularly released and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell so he is safe . . . for now.

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Posts: 3268
From: California
Registered: Oct 2001

posted November 02, 2007 11:42 PM         

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Dog Part ~ Too, Too Cute!!!!

Cat Part ~

We have 2 cats now - our neighbor's cat lives at our house, although he is technically "owned" by our neighbor. He is best friends with our cat. They are both boys, so full of personality, and hilarious. They both love our dog, and always rub against her. She looks at them, like "what the ...?"

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Posts: 24447
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted November 03, 2007 09:30 PM         

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"There is no use trying," said Alice; "one can't believe impossible things." "I dare say you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." Lewis Carroll

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Posts: 1197
From: Palmer, Alaska
Registered: Jul 2004

posted November 05, 2007 07:16 PM         

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Those are great. The cat diary reminds me of lil Stewey from Family Guy!!

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