posted January 22, 2008 12:51 AM
No matter how hard I try, every story I read or have ever read traumatizes me deep down, leaving a permanent scar.I realize that the only reason for the existence of cruelty is a lack of empathy; a forgetfulness of the true nature of our being which is oneness and unity with all creation.
However, I have never quite figured out why suffering should play any part of existence- when it comes to extreme suffering, most especially towards the vulnerable, sensitive beings of this world- children and animals.
Not a day goes by when I don't wonder about these things, and ponder whether I really can make a difference, or whether existing is just a futile, never-ending wheel of karmic illusion.
All the philosophers and spiritual teachers of the world can only give their theories- the only way to find an answer is to find it within, through the intuitive "knowing".
I hope, through learning about meditation and such practices, to return once again to this sense of knowing I could once access so easily as a child, but which was taken away through the conditioning of this world.
Until I find the answers, all I can say is I really hate the nature of the world we live in- the fact that cruelty and torture exist at all.
IMO, it shouldn't be allowed to exist.
I just can't stop thinking about these things, and they make me doubt the purpose of this very existence.
People think that if you feel this way, then you're not "normal".
Well, anyway- I just thought I'd get it off my chest a bit.