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Author
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Topic: The Holy Gift of Laughter (humor & jokes)
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mirage29
Knowflake Posts: 15191
From: us
Registered: May 2012
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posted August 27, 2017 02:28 PM
  
Anon... Enjoyed St. Peter at the Pearly Gates with Mr. Priest and Mr. Bus man.  Recap... (for thread's page-turn) "But wait a minute," said the priest, "I
preached every Sunday in church and taught
people how to pray and be good. He is
nothing but a drunkard." "Listen," said St. Peter,
"when you preached
everybody slept.
But when he drove,
everybody 'prayed like crazy'."  IP: Logged |
anonymidarkness
Knowflake Posts: 8197
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted October 05, 2017 05:51 AM
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Randall
Webmaster Posts: 173535
From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted October 14, 2017 12:28 PM
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Randall
Webmaster Posts: 173535
From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted October 15, 2017 07:03 PM
When I drive, people pray.IP: Logged |
anonymidarkness
Knowflake Posts: 8197
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted October 20, 2017 12:50 AM
HahaIP: Logged |
mirage29
Knowflake Posts: 15191
From: us
Registered: May 2012
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posted October 21, 2017 12:54 PM
Still laughing.... Here's one --- (topic) Preacher Lawson (audition, AGT 2017) [2:58] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WtUXSHNjKAo If you liked him, here is the compilation of his Stand UP performances. Preacher Lawson, AGT 2017
[15:14] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7c05-lC4OE IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 173535
From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted October 22, 2017 06:34 PM
I thought he had a great chance to win.IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 173535
From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted October 23, 2017 08:04 AM
He made it to the finale, though.IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 173535
From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted October 31, 2017 02:14 PM
I hope he gets a tv sitcom.IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 173535
From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 23, 2017 05:36 PM
He would have done well on Last Comic Standing.IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 173535
From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 30, 2017 10:54 AM
He's on tour!IP: Logged |
anonymidarkness
Knowflake Posts: 8197
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted December 04, 2017 05:45 AM
When the Goldbergs move to Rome, little Herschel comes
home from his school in tears. He explains to his mother
that the nuns are always asking these Catholic questions
and how is he supposed to know the answers?
Becky says, "Herschel, I'm going to embroider the
answers on the inside of your shirt, and you just look
down and read them the next time those nuns pick you."
"Thanks Mum," says Herschel, and he doesn't bat an
eye-lid when Sister Michele asks him who is the world's
most famous virgin. "Mary," he answers.
"Very good," says the nun. "And who was her husband?"
"Joseph," answers Herschel. "I see you have been
studying," says Sister Michele. "Now, can you tell me the
name of their son?"
"Sure," says Herschel, "Calvin Klein."
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anonymidarkness
Knowflake Posts: 8197
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted December 04, 2017 05:54 AM
A woman takes a lover during the day while her husband
is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly,
so she puts him in the closet and shuts the door. Her
husband also comes home, so she puts her lover in the
closet, with the little boy.
The little boy says, "Dark in here." The man says, "Yes, it
is."
Boy - "I have a baseball." Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?" Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside." Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$25.00"
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and
the lover are in the closet together.
Boy - "Dark in here." Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball mitt." The lover remembering the
last time asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy - "$75.00"
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your
glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball back and
forth." The boy says, "I can't, ! I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell
themmmmmmmmm for ! Boy - "$100.00"
The father says, That's terrible to overcharge your friends
like that, that is way more than those two things cost. I'm
going to take you to church and make you confess." They
go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the
confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here" The priest says, "Don't start
that $h!t again."
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mirage29
Knowflake Posts: 15191
From: us
Registered: May 2012
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posted December 04, 2017 12:33 PM
^ *cough, cough* ROFL omg, Anon!!!! 
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Randall
Webmaster Posts: 173535
From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 11, 2017 05:07 PM
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mirage29
Knowflake Posts: 15191
From: us
Registered: May 2012
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posted December 12, 2017 10:59 PM
 ...  
(music) Christmas in The Cloisters ('Vox' Columbus Gay Men's Chorus, 2014; parody of plainsong chant 1242) [5:11] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quf5GichGso
 adding... (music) The Meow Choir [3:17] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFBPGquKX5A (music) Hallelujah Chorus (Silent Monks) [3:32] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-uvyL-sAHY IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 173535
From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 13, 2017 11:50 AM
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mirage29
Knowflake Posts: 15191
From: us
Registered: May 2012
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posted January 01, 2018 09:36 PM
{looking for something better... }IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 173535
From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 02, 2018 04:45 PM
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Randall
Webmaster Posts: 173535
From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 12, 2018 05:34 PM
quote:
Originally posted by mirage29:
{looking for something better... }
IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 173535
From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 03, 2018 07:34 PM
 IP: Logged |
anonymidarkness
Knowflake Posts: 8197
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted February 03, 2018 10:28 PM
A man walking along a California beach was deep in
prayer. All of a sudden, he said out loud, "Lord grant me
one wish." Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and
in a booming voice the Lord said, "Because you have
TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one
wish." The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii, so I can
drive over anytime I want." The Lord said, "Your request
is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges
for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to
reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it
would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your
desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think
of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify
me."
The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said,
"Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to
know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when
they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they
mean when they say 'nothing', and how I can make a
woman truly happy."
The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that
bridge?"IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 173535
From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 23, 2018 08:56 AM
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Randall
Webmaster Posts: 173535
From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 03, 2018 05:52 PM
That's hilarious!IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 173535
From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 13, 2018 05:47 PM
quote:
Originally posted by anonymidarkness:
A man walking along a California beach was deep in
prayer. All of a sudden, he said out loud, "Lord grant me
one wish." Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and
in a booming voice the Lord said, "Because you have
TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one
wish." The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii, so I can
drive over anytime I want." The Lord said, "Your request
is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges
for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to
reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it
would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your
desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think
of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify
me."
The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said,
"Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to
know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when
they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they
mean when they say 'nothing', and how I can make a
woman truly happy."
The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that
bridge?"
IP: Logged |
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