posted March 20, 2014 04:46 AM            

First, I want to emphasize that I do not intend this as any sort of blame the victim, and I absolutely DESPISE glurge like this and do not mean to promote such a message.

That said, I have met a handful of people who seem to draw certain people into their life, people they hate (or hate them). In some ways it's as if they subconsciously sabotage themselves to verify a negative worldview, and they'll go to whatever lengths necessary to do it that's obvious to everyone but themselves. And they can also "tune out" what doesn't fit, too, like I knew a boy who thought all women were lying, cheating ****** like his mom, and though he tried to give females he crushed on a chance they'd also prove that his beliefs were true ('course many pointed out BEFORE he even tried that she was like that and he hated such girls but he couldn't see how she was any different from others--and I mean it was GLARINGLY obvious to everyone but him) while girls who crushed on him who weren't that way were summarily rejected angrily as being just like those he dated...including a friend of mine. And then my friend had a nervous breakdown and she became as he believed all females to be and suddenly he was attracted to her--and the thing is I don't see how he could've known she changed! It makes me suspect he sensed her psychic energy and was drawn to it like a moth to a flame once she'd become one more girl to prove to him what lying, cheating ****** all females were.

And an experiment I did with synchronicity when I was 17 made me think magic was more than positive thinking when I tried to program myself to find dimes and found 3 while walking 10 blocks. (My own magic seems based on originality & creativity rather than formulas so I can never repeat such things more than once or for a little while.) Sharing this with a witch she said she tried spells to get more money as she was always struggling and yet when they succeeded something would take her gains away until finally she unexpectedly got a couple of hundred bucks right after a spell but right after her cat got tore up and the vet bill to save her cat was almost to the dollar what she'd gained. So next time she did another spell to combat the "forces keeping her impoverished" and that time the spell worked really well, got several hundred dollars in retroactive pay and got to keep it that time and her life started to improve financially overall.

And going back to what I said in the other thread a pattern was established when I was little that may have bled over into my own experiences: when I was 4 I protested the branding of calves (obviously I'm glossing over what happened for brevity) so my uncle killed my favorite cow and fed her to me to teach me cows are livestock, not pets. What I actually learned is that my love could get people killed, just like the cow. A few months later a fight in the family caused me to be taken from my Granny (so it was as if she was taken from me as the cow was, and perhaps I was even trying to save her by being taken away at some occult/invisible level of my being) where I was just as upset and heartbroken. Furthermore, I found myself in a scary position in which I had to about take care of myself...similar to when an aunt (wife of the uncle who fed me "my" cow) threw me into a lake to teach me to swim and then left for a smoke break so I'd stop crying for her to save me (I was put in a life preserver, of course). To this day I still dream of that lake as being far larger than it ever was, just as it must've seemed to me then, and being forced to live with the chaotic 'rents was a similar feeling of being thrown in that lake...and here Dad would fall asleep with a lit cigarette in his hands that scared me, and may have had some connection to my aunt abandoning me to the scary lake to take a smoke break.

And then waking up one late morning (I'd just turned 5) I was too scared to wake the 'rents to fix my breakfast so I figured out how to make it myself (using a chair & large utensils to pry out Cheerios and catch them, etc) and as I ate the cereal I made for myself a warm feeling overcame me of, "I can do it myself!" The world of adults was scary but I could survive (and when I was thrown into that lake I DID figure out how to swim back to the docks when I realized no one was coming for me). And it seems a pattern was set that followed me for life, especially in my teen years, of adult forces often being uncaring at best (and sometimes downright hostile) but thinking of a way to overcome.

As a teen I experienced Freya (explained here) at a moment when I was about to break and she told me I had to stand strong so I could stand with her against the giants at Ragnarok (I'd say now that giants = adults, and as a runaway they were a major threat in my life then), and to temper my steel, not be as others who seek to be eternal children of their gods forever trying to crawl back into the womb that spit them out. That was not only what I needed to survive but also the Pattern of my life repeating itself, now with divine endorsement!

posted March 20, 2014 04:50 AM            

quote:

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This book was the original version of what would become known as the Principia Discordia, or How I Found The Goddess and What I Did To Her When I Found Her, by a writer named Malaclypse the Younger. They made a first edition of five copies. At the time it was little more than a joke for some of their friends, but its influence is now scrawled in a haphazard, and frequently illegible, manner across the history of the late twentieth century.

There was some debate in the 1970s, when the book’s influence began to spread, as to just who this ‘Malaclypse the Younger’ was. Some believed that the book was the work of Timothy Leary. Others claimed it was written by Alan Watts, or by Richard Nixon during “a few moments of lucidity”. It is now generally accepted that the book was largely the work of Caplinger’s friend Greg Hill, although large chunks were also written by Hill’s old school friend Kerry Thornley.

The ideas behind the book can be traced back to the late 1950s, when Hill and Thornley attended California High School in East Whittier, a rural Southern Californian town that was then nestled amongst vast orange groves. In school they were viewed as nerds. Hill was short, squat and introverted, while Thornley was tall, very thin, and bursting with a nervous energy. They both shared an enthusiasm for pranks and strange ideas. They were also both keen on bowling alleys, largely because they served alcohol and remained open until two in the morning.

It was in one such bowling alley in 1957 that Thornley showed Hill some poetry that he was writing. It included a reference to order eventually arising out of chaos. Hill laughed at this. He told Thornley that the idea of ‘order’ was an illusion. Order is just something that the human mind projects onto reality. What really exists behind this fake veneer is an infinite, churning chaos. For Hill, an atheist, the failure to understand this was the major folly of the organised religions of the world, all of which claim that there is an organising principle at work in the Universe.

Hill also told Thornley that the Greeks were an exception to this rule, as they had had a Goddess of Chaos. Her name was Eris, which meant ‘strife’ and which is translated as ‘Discordia’ in Latin. Clearly, if anyone wanted to worship a deity who could be considered real, in that they were genuinely and unarguably active in this world, then Eris was the only sensible option. All that was needed was for someone to create a religion around Her which, naturally, they decided to do. They called it Discordianism.

Slowly Hill and Thornley recruited a few like-minded friends into their new religion. Their aim was to undermine existing belief systems by spreading confusion and disinformation with as much humour as possible. To this end they each adopted a host of new names under which their Discordian endeavours were credited. Hill became known varyingly as Malaclypse the Younger, Rev. Dr. Occupant, Mad Malik, Ignotum P. Ignotious or Professor Iggy. Thornley became Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst, Rev. Jesse Sump, Ho Chi Zen or the Bull Goose of Limbo. Many different Discordian chapters were founded – the majority of which contained only one member, and some contained none. Discordians would then write essays and letters under these aliases, only to then follow them with completely contradictory essays and letters under a different alias. Gradually this process spread and, by the time it reached its height in the late Sixties and early Seventies, it had become known as Operation Mindf**k. The aim of Operation Mindf**k was to lead people into such a heightened state of bewilderment and confusion that their rigid beliefs would shatter and be replaced by some form of enlightenment.

That was the aim, anyway. In practice it rarely worked out so well, with those heavily absorbed in Discordianism proving as likely to succumb to paranoid schizophrenia as to any form of enlightenment.

Discordianism is often described as being either an elaborate satire disguised as a religion or an elaborate religion described as a satire, a description which wrongly assumes that it cannot be both at the same time. It certainly was a joke, of course, at least to start with. The whole concept was an atheist satire or, at most, a way to deal with nihilism by wrapping it up with a Goddess and a sense of humour. As events unfurled and strange synchronicities began to stack up, however, it became harder and harder to claim that what was going on was ‘just’ a joke.

For those early Discordians it became increasingly tempting to believe that when Greg Hill used D.A. Garrison’s photocopier to produce the first edition of Principia Discordia, something, some spirit of Discord and Chaos, emerged, or returned, or arrived in the world we know. Of course, Greg Hill was an atheist who intended Discordianism to be a satire of religion. He certainly did not start out taking the idea of Goddesses or spirits seriously. By the late 70s, however, he was convinced that his Discordian adventures had stirred up something that he was unable to explain. As he told his friend Margot Adler:

"If you do this type of thing well enough, it starts to work. I started out with the idea that all gods are an illusion. By the end I had learned that it is up to you to decide whether gods exist, and if you take the goddess of confusion seriously enough, it will send you through as profound and valid a metaphysical trip as taking a god like Yahweh [the Jewish/Christian/Muslim God] seriously."

The effects of invoking a made-up god, in other words, were no different to sincerely invoking a ‘proper’ one. This was going to be an eventful realization for those that invoked Eris. As Thornley once remarked to Hill, “You know, if I had realized that all of this was going to come true, I’d have chosen Venus.”

---

In Drawing Down the Moon he also mentioned how everyone involved with Eris was in a state of extreme discord just before he said "...I'd have chosen Venus."

Btw, I was part of a Discordian Cabal once and there were many odd synchronicities that made me believe (at the time before I became ignostic) that Eris was just as real as Freya. They were too subtle to effectively share just how powerful they sometimes were here, however. But we were all eventually transformed by the experience, just as we engaged in public pranks & subtle guerrilla theater, so did Eris/Discord do the same to us. We'd joined a pattern just for fun but it became real. Life didn't calm down until after the cabal dissolved (as we'd all changed too much in ways we hadn't thought we would).

posted March 20, 2014 05:08 AM            

When I ran away for the 2nd time I assumed an alias and chose "Rhynn" as my middle name in honor of Rynn (gave it my own spelling for individuality) and the hopes I could be just as good a survivor as she. And I experienced incredible good luck (while fearing the worst) as I traveled across the country, I'd say finding helpful characters vaguely similar as the ones who helped Rynn. And then I was truly menaced and terrified by a sexual predator (don't ask, I don't talk about it in any detail and it's beside the point other than Rynn also dealt with a sexual predator, though not identical to this one) and part of what helped me keep my morale up as I worked on escape was reciting a poem by Emily Dickinson, one quoted in the book.

posted March 20, 2014 09:52 PM            

Being blessed or rather... "cursed" to have such an awareness of my own life pattern from one iteration to the next, often left me scratching my head as to why I was going in what seemed like an endless loop.

However as time stretched further and further, I realized its not a circle, but a spiral of ever increasing novelty!

The players stay the same, the situations change and new experiences are absorbed, and so we grow steadily towards greater awareness with each iteration of the pattern.

But to what end?

Well... that's something only the individual can decipher from examining his or her pattern.

Although I do like Derrida's take on such matters when he refers to: "A search for a transcendental being that serves as the origin or guarantor of meaning"

posted March 21, 2014 03:25 AM            

I really should read Quantum Psychology (and Prometheus Rising) again, I bet I'd get so much more out of it than I did as a teen (though I probably got things out of it as a teen that I wouldn't have had I waited until now to read it). Since I have shaped my dreams and become lucid in them I believe I can become lucid of the "pattern" I'm in and change it just as I do my dreams. And the experiments I'd do if I did...

posted March 21, 2014 04:01 AM            

In Cosmic Trigger #1, Raw struggles to deal with what seems like the complete and total senseless murder of his teenage daughter?

How could someone so innocent and kind attract a fate as which befell her?

We all struggle to find reasoning for events like that, what patterns cause such tragedies?

Is his daughter doomed to repeat that pattern? Or will she find a way to change her fate?

I feel RAW eventually made peace with this, as the experience of her loss propelled him on a journey of self discovery that ultimately led him to his own self salvation.

And in doing so, he left behind a literary legacy that has helped many wanderer's find their way, and make sense of their own patterns...

posted April 12, 2014 07:42 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by FireMoon:
Do they really predict what will happen or just pick up on the energy already present? Or do they actually set things in motion with the power of manifestation?

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That's an interesting question. I do know that some people do use tarot in magic, that is to use the tarot to CREATE the future rather than predict it, to have them shape "the above (for the below)" rather than merely reflect it.

I know one person who used tarot (and variants) who always kept getting the same baffling and frustrating answer (can't recall what exactly), and perhaps it's tied to that many religious authority figures as a child told her about the same thing (perhaps why she turned to such divination).

I know one genuine psychic tarot reader. The interesting thing is that doing genuine readings make her mentally tired, she can only do a few before she has to rest a few hours feeling burned out. Even more interesting to me is that when she went professional she learned that people didn't want real readings, they wanted to have their egos boosted and/or "a reason to get out of bed in the morning." She made a lot more money giving people fake readings ("what they wanted to hear") than true ones, and people would want the fake readings over and over again no matter how much they didn't come true. She eventually adopted a policy that she sold entertainment and only gave real readings for free...and as I say, she was good, the cards really sharpened intuitive abilities sprinkled with flashes of insights and even brief visions (like what a person the cards are talking about looks like so the person getting the real reading can recognize them). She's the only tarot reader I've known like that, however (and I've known a few).

And for a short while I was learning the tarot at the insistence of someone else. I just didn't find them appealing for some reason. Interesting enough when he had me in a mental state to do a reading I did so for, "What is the future of the United States?" (I mixed with some survivalists and others with apocalyptic views at the time.) I wasn't that impressed with it but I recall the "outcome" card being the upside down Tower (a flaming one in this version), a very ominous card to have! Several months later 9/11 happened (he remembered the flaming tower I'd drawn the moment he saw the footage of planes crashing into buildings) followed by the USAPATRIOT Act and such (turning the Constitution upside down) and he encouraged me to take up the tarot as I had a talent for it. But I just didn't feel right about it.

Yet maybe instead of the future the reading coincidentally picked up on my own immediate future in which I was forced to flee less than a month later and ended up in a real bad sitch in San Frisco and Oakland for the next 6 months (leaving the same day 9/11 happened, I remember cause I was wondering why all the flags were at half mast as I was driving to my new location). Alternately, and more disturbing, maybe by attuning myself to the energy of the USA that was facing this in its future I'd somehow taken in some of those vibrations to myself which is why my life got, er, "interesting" for the next several months (ending when 9/11 happened)...that would certainly explain why I instinctively didn't want to have anything more to do with the tarot.

posted April 14, 2014 12:12 AM            

I'm working on more than one story, but roughly here goes: I write about radical feminists who are trying to become players in the world of secret societies and learning to exploit the paranormal and then AFTER a thread on LL pops up in which radical feminism combined with Wicca becomes relevant. Then the tarot becomes key and then the tarot is mentioned in this thread (after I'd written it in). I incorporate the Greys with their hybrids and implants and even humans taken to be dissected and never returned and right after a thread starts up on a "scary thought" about just that. I have characters discover that Adolf Hitler was but a pawn of the Vril Society that had used secrets from Nepal stolen for them by a secret society of Hindus wanting to destroy the West who in turn have been manipulated by a terrestrial saurial species wanting to destroy both humans and the Greys (that plan backfired on them however--they're adapting in my story, though, they haven't given up!) and then I see a thread declaring Adolf Hitler influenced by Hindus for an occult apocalypse (and there were/are occult implications to the conspiracy I'm writing about that led to the rise of the Nazis, and the death camps were human sacrifices to raise enough power to change the world). Last night I started an alien invasion of sorts (really complicated to explain) that changed life on Earth forever (and in true chaos theory acted as a catalyst for many other problems bringing them all to a head) as well as being apocalyptic and today there's a thread on if you believe in an immanent apocalypse that changes life forever.

It seems that somehow my creative writing is manifesting patterns right on LL! (Though I'm uncomfortable with that concept as it implies influence over people that I'm not even consciously aware of, which of course goes back to the root of this very thread. Equally disturbing to me is the idea that the "psychic vibrations of LL" are influencing my fic!)

posted April 15, 2014 11:16 PM            

But I wanted to make clear I don't take the personal stories of people here and put them in my fic. Naturally, I adapt a lot of my own life experiences to fics because it's best to "write what you know." When I incorporate elements I don't know a lot about then I'll do research. But I recall that I once placed the life story (adapted to make sense to the fic I was writing) of someone I once knew (who died) but that was to honor and remember him than to "mock" him. In fact, I hoped it would help bring his tormented spirit peace.

I'm not sure if you're sharing with me about others who have mocked someone else over their life experiences or if you think I do that, but if it's the latter, then I'm not. And for what it's worth I really don't know that much about the specifics of your life anyway so I couldn't "steal" from you, nor do I seek to mock, trick, or test you.

My fics tend to take place in the very far future or fantasy worlds, or are paranormal and weird in the extreme so that they don't have a lot to do with mundane experiences as would be shared here. But I like to understand how people think, and a common trait to my fics is that they try to capture the "mood/atmosphere" of a setting and also alternating between the point of view of specific characters (which can understand the situation and each other in very different ways). Some love it as it makes the setting "more real" (especially as villains almost never think of themselves as villains, and even those who do are probably not as villainous as they like to think) while others find it confusing. I also like to add elements of mystery to tease the mind, a few things will never be fully explained yet will shape the story all the same (just as the paranormal along with plain "oddness" does in real life).

posted April 15, 2014 11:31 PM            

quote:

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P.J. You describe using your "fiction" stories around? ("fic") I recall things you've posted a few years ago (we BOTH deleted our posts back there). I KNOW that 'what you've said' about certain experiences you had ARE absolutely true. I "witnessed" CLEARLY these things that happened to Others right in front of my eyes!! (I can still feel emotions rise in me from all the "abuse" I've PERSONALLY witnessed in so-called "safe" situations.... I will stop myself right now with this. It "shaped" the quality of my life and psyche to have WITNESSED those things. And I am "with" you in regards to your life experience. Those kinds of things should NEVER happen, but they DO... and in special times and circumstances I get to stand up and say-so!)

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Are you talking about my life experiences or my fiction stories?

(Yes, fic = fiction.)

posted April 15, 2014 11:49 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by mirage29:
A Question I want to ask you is--- 'What' are you trying to express in this thread? Are you venting? Are you playing/teasing a bit? Have you been hurt (o nm, I'd say you'd answer yes to that, because I've watched some stuff from a few years back).

Do you just need to "say" all these intense things?.... I'm not 'quite' getting what you are trying to "manifest"...

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I'm trying to understand how life works. I'm saying TRUTHFUL things as opposed to "intense" things. And in giving examples the most dramatic tend to be the most clear. It was also relevant to the other thread (where it was asserted that bad things only happen to those who live in fear while those with a positive attitude are protected from bad experiences) that inspired this thread.

I'm not seeking people to stroke my ego or to agree with me, I want thoughts and observations that can help me think this through, even if it seems to contradict any of my examples or ideas--indeed, I was inspired to start this thread because I realized I was wrong (at least somewhat) about something else in the other thread and wanted to examine that more, to gain a better understanding of life rather than merely stew in ignorance by refusing to think about it further. More than once posting questions like this has helped me gain insights I would not otherwise have. And I've found LK and FireMoon helpful so I'm glad to have posted it. LK has been especially helpful in the past and in this thread FM got me to thinking of the tarot and my own experiences on it (which spawned other ideas to consider in my mind) that were especially relevant which I may not have even considered had she not posted.

I am "trying to manifest" (as you put it) insight into both the human condition and how the universe works.

I was not venting. The closest I came to venting was saying how much I despise glurge and I only shared that so no one made the mistake that I was "blaming the victim" for the bad things that happened to them. Nor is this thread a cry for help over traumatic events in my life, nor am I playing games or teasing anyone.

posted April 16, 2014 12:26 AM            

So many things I think about
When I look far away
Things I know - things I wonder
Things I'd like to say
The more we think we know about
The greater the unknown
We suspend our disbelief
And we are not alone -

Mystic rhythms - capture my thoughts
And carry them away
Mysteries of night
Escape the light of day
Mystic rhythms - under northern lights
Or the African Sun
Primitive things stir
The hearts of everyone

We sometimes catch a window
A glimpse of what's beyond
Was it just imagination
Stringing us along?
More things than are dreamed about
Unseen and unexplained
We suspend our disbelief
And we are entertained

posted April 16, 2014 04:14 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
In all honesty I found it very difficult to understand what you were saying above. I didn't know what was about me or sharing with me about others.

---

You have a really good head on your shoulders. I was both responding to you, AND, trying to grasp words around things I wanted to say about issues that relate adjunctly and hopefully tie issues that can complement.

Sorry, yeah, I know it sometimes, how there are times my words plop down so easily, and other times where I struggle and STILL 'miss' what I had to clearly say...

It's a kind of 'writing style' I do when I feel certain moods on me... like in theatre--some lines are delivered between two characters, yet other lines are statements made up into the air above the audience, for their dual purpose also. The author incorporates the ghostly invisible listening presence of them-- ...all the world is a stage

P.J., I had nothing bad to say about your work in the posts. While I read each one they fired up an energy inside me. (That's a good thing! Certain segments of society need a Voice.)

quote:

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But I wanted to make clear I don't take the personal stories of people here and put them in my fic.

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I already think and notice that....

quote:

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Naturally, I adapt a lot of my own life experiences to fics because it's best to "write what you know."
When I incorporate elements I don't know a lot about then I'll do research.

---

(That's great!)

quote:

---

But I recall that I once placed the life story (adapted to make sense to the fic I was writing) of someone I once knew (who died) but that was to honor and remember him than to "mock" him. In fact, I hoped it would help bring his tormented spirit peace.

---

I've written short stories like that on my own... Like you, I think it has the capacity to help bring rest to that one's spirit. It remembers the person (not mocks-- in the way mock is used here.) Writing the story about my friend was cathartic to me, cleansing. It "processed" how I felt about my buddy, co-worker and friend who suddenly was taken ill with leukemia and given only two weeks to live. The experience ended up being a tough harrowing protracted illness of several years, that finally went into remission. (She died a few years after I'd moved out of state).

quote:

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I'm not sure if you're sharing with me about others who have mocked someone else over their life experiences or if you think I do that, but if it's the latter, then I'm not.

And for what it's worth I really don't know that much about the specifics of your life anyway so I couldn't "steal" from you, nor do I seek to mock, trick, or test you.

---

None of the above, PixieJane!

quote:

---

My fics tend to take place in the very far future or fantasy worlds, or are paranormal and weird in the extreme so that they don't have a lot to do with mundane experiences as would be shared here. But I like to understand how people think, and a common trait to my fics is that they try to capture the "mood/atmosphere" of a setting and also alternating between the point of view of specific characters (which can understand the situation and each other in very different ways). Some love it as it makes the setting "more real" (especially as villains almost never think of themselves as villains, and even those who do are probably not as villainous as they like to think) while others find it confusing. I also like to add elements of mystery to tease the mind, a few things will never be fully explained yet will shape the story all the same (just as the paranormal along with plain "oddness" does in real life).

---

Lovin' that creativity. Cool.

quote:

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IOW, I'm not trying to "trick you into trusting me" so I can mock and bully you in my fics, if that's what you're implying (which is frankly absurd ...

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NO, no.... never thought that for a single second!

quote:

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...and if that's what you think then wait until the eclipse is over before you allow yourself to think anything else). Though just to be clear I'll repeat I found what you posted confusing.

---

That's why I mentioned it... to pre-empt.

I do have problems (impediments) in communication. But I found that I would never print a word if I was 'waiting' for a perfect post from myself. My writing may seem uneven because of my trying to move forward. I used to be an enthusiastic journal keeper for 35 years. Kept all my poems and thoughts all to myself. Then for 10 years I hardly could write a single thing.

Got involved in an online support group somewhere else where I kept two diaries (one entry in each, faithfully, once a month-- one was on my feelings about current social issues; the other was about my heritage, and my personal eyeview growing up as an undervalued 'girl' in a thriving boy's world... from childhood to college. I also was a support on the Depression and the Child Sexual Abuse messageboards. (They changed their site format and it completely threw me! They blended everything into lines rather than sections. RUINED it for me. I had been there July 2007 through Oct 2008. Made about 110 'meaningful' entries.

But when my writing dried up, it was my soul shriveled up too. A friend suggested I find a new place to get involved with (this kind of) social outlet again. Found lindaland, then got up the courage to post.

So I apologize for not being able to write clearly. It can continue to be turbulent with the layered handicaps I must face each time I TRY to come here.... even just to say "hello".

Socially, I'm trying to overcome a crushing impediment.

posted April 16, 2014 05:06 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
Are you talking about my life experiences or my fiction stories?

(Yes, fic = fiction.)

Granted, "write what you know" is a good rule of thumb (and I try to research that which I don't know) but most of the concepts I've shared, even excerpts (hybrids created by the Greys, terrestrial sentient lizards manipulating humanity, or like that excerpt I gave on another forum of lizard aliens that hatch from eggs rather than being born) have little to do with my real life, and yet it sounds like you think I'm writing "slice of life" fics rather than supernatural conspiracy fics, scifi, and urban fantasy.

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This was part of what I was trying to figure out about your writings. For the first writings I'd seen of yours, I "thought" you were being autobiographical..... So maybe I was "mistaken" thinking all that abuse happened to you.

What I want to say (whether it actually happened to you, or if it was just a fic story), this may be a strange and weird coincidence. It was 'fic' to you.... but had "actually" happened to other real people I knew. I actually "watched" that kind of abuse being perpetrated in just those ways you used to write about (in sweat peas)...

SO! Truth (witness) parallels your written fictions here? How about that! for synchronicity. double-wow.

P.J.... I NEVER thought you were writing about 'my' own particular life personally. I thought you were writing about your own true experiences. My purpose 'in backing you up' a few years ago, was to "help you feel better" in case people didn't 'believe' the story. haha! That's a problem that many victims have--- either someone won't stand 'with' them, or the witnesses will dogpile on the victim in order to get special privileges BY "siding" with the perpetrator (peers making false witness against their own peer and FOR the actual perp.) ....... oh my. Yes, this actually happens. I've seen groups of victims bond together by chosing a 'scapegoat' amont them. (Sociology of groups can be utterly fascinating. Was one of my interests back then.)

P.J. I never actually "knew" that you were writing fiction-fantasy. (But I've not seen your 'reptilian' sets. Only the SweetPeas, mostly, and LL2.0.)

Now I wasn't sure if I should turn embarrassed? (but the reason I won't is that I know for a FACT about some of the abuse that does go on with orphanages, and adolescent holding units--- it was exactly as you described.) (Wished I was aware back then that you were writing fiction stories. (that would have helped).

I'll respect your test-writing "zone" between LK and FM, and you now...

But thanks anyway for taking the time to 'clarify' what you're doing. Was very interesting. (I even went as far as to watch "Discordia" conspiracy films to try to catch up on your topic.)

Maybe you're right........ BETTER for me to wait till after all the eclipses are done.

Thanks for your input.

posted April 16, 2014 08:34 AM            

Making video games is very time consuming

Although I have been popping in many times per day to read up on whats been posted

As to weird synchronicity happening in ones real life and fictional works, Its something that alot of creative people talk about

Where the lines between their fantasy works and reality start to blur to the point where they don't know if they are writing their own story, or that of their imaginary characters.

PKD is a classic example of this, although he took it to such an extreme end that I really feel he drove himself into severe episodes of schizophrenic paranoia.

It made for one hell of a story, but at great cost to the mans sanity

RAW also talks about this in the Cosmic Trigger series about how much of his fiction from the Illuminatus (even the weirdest parts) actually started manifesting as his reality!

Perhaps the universe is indeed more malleable that we would care to believe?

As to my own fiction, well It started as "that", but since then its tread very close to PKD lines of insanity where Ive basically written not only my current self but a number of past and future selves into my own fiction... Rofl...

So now I dont know if it s a work of fiction or non-fiction and its the non-fiction part that scares me even more than the creatures Ive created who guard the dark rifts of space

posted April 16, 2014 10:06 AM            

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And I'm jealous of the sentient lizard races in my original scifis...they lay eggs that hatch...and that's how it SHOULD be done, not burst forth from your body like Alien. Here, from a rough draft of one of them:

Hezin (sentient alien lizard called a ziv interviewing a human who is now traveling with them as their species finds humans very difficult to understand, just as the reverse is true), "How exactly does one tell the difference between male & female among humans when their colors are chaotic and leg sizes about the same?"

"Color and leg length isn't part of gender in humans like ziv. Instead you look to the shape of the body, especially the hips and torso. You can't always tell this way, but usually you can. Men usually have a lot more hair on their face, or at least have to shave their face more. For some reason many women shave their legs while men just shave their face and let their legs get hairy. Men smell different, too, and so does the cologne they wear instead of perfume. Men are usually stronger, but not always. The main thing is that men have their genitals on the outside while women have genitals that are on the inside like a ziv."

"How are the eggs hatched?"

"They're not laid like ziv do, so the hatchling, called a *baby* hatches from the body."

[Silence, as Hezin twists in a way that expresses distress and even shocked horror.]
"And I think that's more than any ziv wants to know. And yet, despite this, humans are obsessed with sex, right?"

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posted April 16, 2014 10:19 AM            

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Originally posted by Lei_Kuei:
As to weird synchronicity happening in ones real life and fictional works, Its something that alot of creative people talk about

Where the lines between their fantasy works and reality start to blur to the point where they don't know if they are writing their own story, or that of their imaginary characters

<snip>

So now I dont know if it s a work of fiction or non-fiction and its the non-fiction part that scares me even more than the creatures Ive created who guard the dark rifts of space

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It is interesting, this compulsion I feel to write, to create stories...when I really get into it I feel as if the story is coming THROUGH me rather than FROM me, as if my mind and body were but another instrument of yet another author!

Yeah, this is getting creepy to think about!

Heck, I even touched on that in my fic Call of Quinnthulhu, here:

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Then She saw into other realities, her consciousness expanding to include more and more worlds... She was surprised that in another reality, Her brainy sister came back after World War 3 in the future of that Earth as a messiah, after falling off a cliff ... and in another, Jane was God, and related to a magical crone named Baba [Grandmother] Yaga. Coincidence? What does it mean? She knew She'd figure it out as Her consciousness continued to grow beyond mortal measures.

She came to see that All Now Existed because She imagined it into being. Like the gods of old, She projected Her image onto countless worlds, cultivating receptive minds to know and love Her divinity as She began to assimilate these higher realities, each one a matryoshka doll that encompassed the one before it. And now Quinnthulhu encompassed them all in Her own....Q Continuum was the word She invented to describe it, being beyond mortal measure.

And then She reached into worlds in which all that She knew was just fiction, somehow spawning their reality, just as others spawned their reality. She began to assimilate it, driving away both Usurpers and Old Ones wherever She could, assimilating entire worlds.

Then She found some who thought of her, even if they didn't know she was real... such personages as Professor, Scissors, and Hey....and through Hey, [Pixie Jane]. Yes, the one known as [Pixie Jane] was working on some silly kender fic, though She liked the Arborea plane she described, a continuum of joy, love, and beauty. She would make such a place for Her followers, She might even make the new planets that way!

But that was for a little later. For now, She reached into [Pixie Jane]'s mind and changed it. After all, mortal concerns are insignificant compared to the concerns of a Goddess. And then [Pixie Jane] saw that all that had happened to Her since Her nightmare as the mortal Quinn. [Pixie Jane] had a different ending in mind, but Quinnthulhu easily changed it with a hint of Her almighty will. [Pixie Jane] wasn't even aware of it, having thought she had chosen this ending from the very beginning.

Quinnthulhu smiled. Then thoughtfully, with a tentacle scratching at Her face, She decided that She would use this [Pixie Jane] before moving on to assimilate even Higher Worlds. She would offer those blessed with Her sacred verses, a choice that would affect those who saw them for all eternity. She frowned as [Pixie Jane] resisted, but the psychic battle was over before it had even really begun.

Don't cross Me, [Pixie Jane], or I'll imagine you right out of existence! Don't think I can do it? Lots of folk disappear without a trace, and more than a few are those who have declared themselves My enemies. Makes a body think, don't it?

Oh, Right. I see that you're being a good girl now. Ahem.

Greetings, everyone, from the Q-Continuum! Never mind that last comment to [Pixie Jane]. Just because I'm a God now, and have devoured your gods and demons and Old Ones and made their power mine, doesn't mean I'm no longer a nice person.

Listen to Me in your heart, and answer My call. For I am Quinnthulhu, of the Q-continuum, and I love you. And not as in "love you in My soup" kind of love, or "let's have sex and then forget about you" kind of love, but in "I want you to be beautiful and spread beauty" kind of love. Join My popular priesthood that wears my Holy Butterfly symbol over their heart while looking good as they chant, "Ia, Ia! Quinnthulhu! The Butterfly with a Thousand Fashions!"

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posted April 16, 2014 01:01 PM            

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Originally posted by mirage29:
So I apologize for not being able to write clearly. It can continue to be turbulent with the layered handicaps I must face each time I TRY to come here.... even just to say "hello".

Socially, I'm trying to overcome a crushing impediment

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Would you mind sharing what handicaps come into play at posting here? I'll look them up (you can give a preferred site if you want) and that might help me understand you better.

Normally I'd ask this privately but that's not an option here. It's okay to email me if you prefer (or not answer if you're uncomfortable).

To email just get into Divine Diversities and look for this:

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Divine Diversities
(moderated by Lexxigramer, doommlord, PixieJane)

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posted April 16, 2014 08:27 PM            

For "me" I've tried hard, and I've tried all... formally educated on subject. Economy & age disqualified me long ago. The main Focus in society is presently towards the young people. Was told long ago to "just accept my fate" (Indeed! for everyone else's comfort... and I can understand that). My spirit just refuses to quit-- Like I can't override it, just keeps coming back. My instinct to have hope just won't let go.

Decades ago I visited a fishery. I stood at the threshold of a great room containing canvas carts loaded and layered with bodies of freshly caught fish. I never lost the deathly imprint this had on all the faculties of my soul and sense. It was a thriving and happy business for the proud fisher (nothing wrong with that!) -- but just for a meta-moment in time, a snapshot occurred in me. I perceived a fish mortuary, for the ones who got swept into their nets and had to "give up."

posted May 02, 2014 12:18 AM            

And I just introduced an underground sect of cyberpunk hackers in one of my fics that "gather" at the Janus Node, a sect of transhumanists who see themselves as learning from the past to create the future, a future that is a doorway to the singularity of human existence that will catapult the human race into a new age (through science and ideals more than mysticism). More importantly they believe corporations and governments control the truth to control the people but the Janus Node intends to do some epic hacking so that they can expose the truth and by doing so free the people who will embrace power of the self (such as offered by the patented secrets of cybernetics and genetic enhancements as well as other special procedures that they want to know all about but currently restricted to the wealthy and doled out to military forces) and ultimately become immortals (they have reason to believe that the elites are close to that already)...and once immortal then the use of force will be minimized and with that an anarchist utopia can come forth (and once war is averted they will "close their doors" just like the Temple of Janus, for the doorway to the future will have been used and no longer needed).

And as the world comes closer to war over resources they formed their "hacker gang" to quicken that exposure so that the governments & megacorporations can't use the war to selfishly keep their power to themselves while getting rid of the excess population in the process as there's a lot of discontent to deal with in addition to limited resources (at least those resources available to the general public since the wealthy have no problem with power, water, fuel, etc while everyone else is rationed by both law and economic realities). The Juno Node believes the current misery and coming war only exists because of the veil of secrecy, and while they're too naively idealistic, have overestimated the achievements of the corporate elites, and miss a lot of nuances to the sitch (and are completely clueless on something that would blow their minds) there's still more than a grain of truth to their beliefs.

So anyway, I keep on with my fic and then, realizing I need to get off for awhile, I check LL before I go and this was just posted:
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/226899.html

Juno opposite Mars, much like how my Juno Node is trying to avert war...and even Virgo Mars (critical, stubborn, logical, organized, easily nervous) works as well because of the real secret truth behind what's happening, a truth that the members of the Janus Node don't even suspect and probably wouldn't believe if someone showed them hard evidence of it. The forces behind the coming war aren't even human...but bear humanity no ill will, they're just concerned with the survival of their own species and believe they're just speeding up a process that will "cull the population" so that humanity might rise above barbarism and perhaps then the two species can meet without the nonhuman species having to worry about being exterminated (and fear that if they don't do this then humanity will destroy their species before destroying itself). Oh, and the nonhuman species engineering this war (that the Juno Node is trying to avert) is currently based on the planet Mars!

I understand that this is less literal than some of the other examples yet it was weird to see that almost at the very top the moment I looked in and less than an hour after I added in the Juno Node! I don't look at all the forums so I hadn't seen much of Juno at all in the title before for a long while.

Btw, one member of the Juno Node is The Wyrd (who sees controlling one's own destiny--and maybe that of others--through hacking) who has since been called "23" (as W is the 23rd letter in the alphabet and the other members thought it sounded less pretentious than "the Wyrd") and this was also at the top just above Juno/Mars:
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/226898.html