posted September 04, 2015 01:11 AM            

I'm rather busy and can't write an essay here detailing my thoughts so I'll be brief: in the 1970s both new age ideas and satanic panics were simmering and slowly rising. Both didn't seem to take off until the early 80s, however, for various reasons...and I don't recall the two being linked (like maybe the Satanic Panics were in part a knee jerk reaction to the growing interest in new age ideas & ideals).

What I wasn't aware of is just how popular in pop culture they were before then. There was the Omen, Rosemary's Baby, and the like. In the last year or so I've come to realize how new age many shows were, from Isis (a friend told me he and his cousin, both little kids, got in trouble because of his cousin pretending to be Isis and he was another hero that the Greek gods made, forget who) to The Greatest American Hero (the description there doesn't say but I just saw that the UFO had the ghost of a guy just murdered meaning the realm between spaceships and the afterlife were blurred in a very new age fashion as well!), and of course can't forget the classics coming at at the same time like ET (the Star Wars franchise was still putting out movies with a new age feel to them as well). And just as Michelle Remembers was coming out so were books like Out on a Limb. And there was Geraldo and even major politicians got into the Satanic Panic side (one reason Al Gore is discredited to me is what he did during the Satanic Panics).

Even the kids were getting it, like this one that came out in 1981, Mystery of the Maya:

In the story UFOs were interacting with humans and acting like enlightened beings, you could wind up with a special device to let you telepathically contact the aliens on Venus, and so on. ('Course you could also end up thrown back in time and have your heart ripped out, or executed by horrific rebels with a very suggestive pic that looked like they intended to "have some fun" gang raping you before killing you, but the infamous bad endings were known to be surprisingly over the top at times )

I'm also wondering how all this mass psychic energy coming to a boil may have affected me (born in 1982) much like astrology...it might be that this is important to how one manifests as well, just like the natal chart (if MY theory, which I admit is a minority one, of the natal chart having its power because of the psychic ocean shaped by our collective unconscious to put it in very short terms is right then it would make sense the rest of this would have an affect as well, give it something of a "tone" or "theme" or "flavor") and may have shaped some of the events in my life.

These are connections I'm making on my own. For some strange reason any connection between the explosion of new age thought and the Satanic Panics are downplayed if not outright ignored by sociologists and many others. And given how I was raised with the aftereffects of this I wonder how much the energy of that helped shape me as much as my natal chart.

posted September 05, 2015 11:11 PM            

(You're having your Mercury-Return! And wow, watta special stellium! ... You're in my 10th House (and LL's 10th) -- You're stirring up Soul Purpose here! )

Many of your planets are near my Neptune, and trine my Mercury Gemini. So you spark my imagination too!

I'm loosely interested in charts of survivors... wonder about the asteroids.

I recognize the cover of the book. Owned it, but could never really get interested in it.

As far as charts are concerned? ...
The planets and parts are just tools, and a language where we can explore our unconscious minds and connect 'to what we know' already deep inside. Once there, there is no need for the chart-- we find the cosmic stream where we become aware that we're part of a vast plan.

I love Christmas Candlelight services. Breathtaking. Each person holds a candle. The candle illumines each separate face distinctly. I've sung from the choir lofts of many services. It's one of my favorite moments... Makes me cry. Everyone everywhere around the room, so unique. So distinct and in fully clear and golden.

We (individuals) are like that. .... In Unity, and separate.

I knew some men and women who were survivors of the kinds of abuses you've mentioned, PJ. One was a close friend, and her cult family was always after her, doing the grossest things to try to unnerve her. She'd stayed at my house for weeks, to be safe. Finally moved away. But I heard many stories, and she showed me real things.

Some of her recollections sounded a bit fantastic (not real) and I suspended judgment (took them metaphorically). But when you heard 'real' it was unmistakable. And frightening to a point of being past-fright and past-thought.

When a person is in that kind of fear-space, when evil is thick and so black, that's when you need to rely on the fact you have enclosed within you the spark of God, and know you are close and tight with the glow, or the knowing. Your soul is sealed inside, and you have the right to call upon etheric help. This can never be stolen.

I guess I am an empathic individual. I pick up on other people's story/thoughtforms.

I remember once being called upon to come help someone who was in a psychic-spiritual attack. No one could reach her. Someone came for me to come. I had no idea what they expected me to do? But as I came upon her, my heart was so moved that I felt a force giving me instinct and direction. It was like knowing without prior knowing.

She could barely speak English. She and her husband had been on a cross-country trip passing through the state when she had what looked to be a sudden breakdown attack.

How the people knew to ask me? I have no clue. Had I realized what I was being asked to do, I probably would have choked. Never had an experience like that, before or since. So surreal... but the family thanked me, and the woman said I had saved her mind that day. Kind of chilling. One of those once-a-lifetime strange happenings. I still have the little memento and note she gave me.

Pixie Jane, I know you too are sensitive. I've read other posts where you described being affected by energies from previous lifetimes you've had. You're thinking that you may be picking up on some of the 'panic' of that day also?....

posted September 05, 2015 11:23 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by GemBird82:

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posted September 05, 2015 11:47 PM            

I am not talking about genuine abuse, I'm talking about the panic that was focused against games, music, daycare centers, and all other surrogates (that is who spent more time raising their kids than the parents themselves) that made parents feel guilty so they projected their guilt into these things and persecuted them, once several social factors came into play to facilitate that.

I did meet people who at least dabbled in it while on the streets but most were kids who did what they read from fundies on what Satanists did (that is, they were essentially legend tripping with the church telling them how to offend, and thus serving the church as devils since they wouldn't serve as angels--and thus ironically it was the churches creating a movement rather than exposing it with the recruits for it from their own disaffected ranks!), and others were...weird. Like one guy (who had terrible vibes) claimed to worship Satan and Jesus both. But that's all irrelevant as I'm not talking about people like that, I'm talking about the Panic of society.

In addition to the high school counselor other adults have said I was seducing people into service to Satan. One guy threatened to shoot me if he ever caught me on his land because he blamed me and my Satanic master/cult for his son rejecting Creationism. About that same time I was warned against trespassing on the land of a cult that believed Proctor & Gamble were Satanic and were going to try to send people (like me) to destroy them. I was 17 then.

Though sometimes it was funny. Like when I was 14 this other girl said she saw me kill a cat on Halloween and the thought of someone killing a cat made me so mad that I shouted at her, "Why didn't you stop me then!? Or call the cops!? You'd just WATCH!? You're sick!" She didn't know how to handle my reaction.

The funniest to me was around that time an older boy turned around on the school bus and asked me if I really worshiped the devil in almost a whisper like he was frightened. Being 14 with a Sag stellium I said, "Yes, and I cast spells, so shut up!" He did and turned away so abruptly looking terrified of me that I laughed, which to him probably sounded like the laughter of the wicked witch. (Some others thought that was hilarious as well but older relatives told me I was just putting more wood on a fire that needed to go out, and not to do that again no matter how hilarious it was to me.)

posted September 05, 2015 11:47 PM            

And the panic was a vile thing that caused children to be taken from loving homes and sexually abused in the name of defending them from supposed sexual abuse. For example, a discredited "anal wink" test was used to convict people of sexual abuse, so little children were taken, terrified, forced to endure these now discredited tests that included poking, prodding, and handling their most intimate parts, all while photographed or filmed and shown to a jury (and the footage probably locked away to be masturbated over by people in law enforcement and their friends decades later). And it was done in the name of justice! If there is a Satan, Lord of Evil, as feared, then surely Satan laughed loud and long over all the vile deeds done by society in the Panic to root him out.

Even to this day Christian ritual abuse is done to children in certain facilities, an entire industry of child abuse done in the name of Jesus (at least on paper) which includes kids who are killed. But that's another topic (and strangely there's no panic over it though there should be).

posted September 05, 2015 11:52 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by GemBird82:

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I don't get it. What's this mean? What's your purpose in posting it?

posted September 08, 2015 07:26 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
Even to this day Christian ritual abuse is done to children in certain facilities, an entire industry of child abuse done in the name of Jesus (at least on paper) which includes kids who are killed.

ETA: should be obvious I'm not talking about all or even most Christians, but some people think pointing out abuses means condemning the entire religion so I'll point out that I'm not and they should know better (and suspect they're just trying to silence me to silence their own doubts).

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Satanists steal the consecrated communion wafers and chalices in order to "play church" and to mock catholic Masses. Sometimes the Satanists USE children to do this vile evil act upon the precious bodies of innocent terrified children. You're calling these "Christian" because they perform a known church ritual the catholics use? Or, because they say-so? ... Look at what they do.

Last week, a priest in church mentioned hearing Satanists who personally confessed using the consecrated hosts.

If they're doing satanic ritual-sacrifices and actually abducting murdering and killing children?... Then News-flash! They ain't christian~Even IF they abuse the language, it's empty. Don't believe. They aren't doing that for ~Christ?... They're twisting and psychologically harming the psyches of children deliberately --- abuse comes in many forms. That's why a thorough religious education is important if you're raising 'your own child' -- make sure your child knows. --

Goes for adults as well. They're not being brought up with a church background of reference. It's VERY easy to confuse adults who were taught shallow stories and not brought up with spiritual direction and exercising virtues. P.J., you yourself admitted being 'taught' how to use Christians, how to manipulate them. You were so young.... You weren't taught good things from them. Stick to what things your Granny said! { } ADD-- And QUICKLY forgive yourself for actions you did in your days when you were under the influence of bad people. -- Just drop it. I'm sure your Granny would tell you, there's a SEA of forgiveness there. Just drop the baggage. It wasn't yours to begin with, nor to end with. Your inner soul is cleansed JUST by going into that sea, and with inner resolve to identify yourself with WHO you're supposed to be, NOT what they 'made' you think of yourself after being forced into a situation that was NOT-you. {heart}

It's like my roommate. Just because he can say the name Jesus, and maybe is aware of a couple of scriptures, he thinks-himself to be an authority about Jesus and gives scathing opinions as though he was educated. (I don't think he even had to go to Sunday school as a kid). He doesn't know the first thing coming out of his mouth! ~sad is that he doesn't realize that he doesn't.

I'd love to have a partner who knows what he's talking about.... or is willing to admit he has no clue. That's the first step for all of us. The more you know, the more you find that you don't really-- in the mental-intellectual realms. Christ is Love that is felt within the heart. And it must be cultivated and practiced, to remain in that state of Grace. Of Love.

It's a good thing that God is omniscient and the author of Love.... because it's pretty hard for me to imagine someone who DELIBERATELY does the things you say as 'deserving' ANY mercy. That's why *they* need a God judging them, and Christians on the earth. Nobody would stand a chance at staying alive, otherwise.

posted September 08, 2015 07:53 PM            

Btw, they didn't mention it but Katie was enduring Christianized abuse there trying to brainwash her.

That also happened to a friend of mine and is another part of the Panic that affected me. Her dad read her private diary that let him know she was getting interested in Wicca that she'd read about at the library so he shipped her off to a church run group. Given the research I've done since then I have a fair idea of the vile things done to her but after she came back months later the tremendous abuse she'd endured in the name of Christ had brainwashed her and she even seemed to believe I was part of a Satanic cult. (You believe her? After all, so many others have said I was part of a Satanic cult, even a high school counselor...maybe I really was looking for a human sacrifice for my supposed cult?)

These are typically protected by "religious exemption laws" (which vary state by state), and church counselors will sometimes promote them to parents as a place to send their kids to. An example of such a place that has a death toll under such protective laws include this one:
http://www.tampabay.com/news/publicsafety/religious-e xemption-at-some-florida-childrens-homes-shields-prying-eyes/1258390

quote:

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They shaved him bald that first morning in 2008, put him in an orange jumpsuit and made him exercise past dark. • Through the night, as he slept on the floor, they forced him awake for more. • The sun had not yet risen over the Christian military home when Samson Lehman collapsed for the sixth time. Still, he said, they made him run. • The screaming, the endless exercise, it was all in the name of God, a necessary step at the Gateway Christian Military Academy on the path to righteousness. • So when Samson vomited, they threw him a rag. When his urine turned red, they said that was normal. • By Day 3, the 15-year-old was on the verge of death, his dehydrated organs shutting down. • Slumped against a wall, cold and immobile, Lehman recalls men who recited Scripture calling him a wimp. And he thought: Maybe, if I die here, someone will shut this place down. • Not in Florida

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Even when they do get shut down they tend to open up in other countries and continue to accept other clients. I forget the name of one but it had shut down after I think two teens died in their program so they relocated to an island in the Caribbean where they continued as usual. One American kid escaped and made it back to the US on a raft but the US courts sent him back because his parents had the right to send him there.

There was one documentary called Kidnapped for Christ, though the wiki link doesn't share in the brutality that went on even in just getting them there.

And then in places like Africa (and also immigrants from there) do things like this:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/10/18/african-children-denounce_n_324943.html

quote:

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The nine-year-old boy lay on a bloodstained hospital sheet crawling with ants, staring blindly at the wall.

His family pastor had accused him of being a witch, and his father then tried to force acid down his throat as an exorcism. It spilled as he struggled, burning away his face and eyes. The emaciated boy barely had strength left to whisper the name of the church that had denounced him – Mount Zion Lighthouse.

A month later, he died.

Nwanaokwo Edet was one of an increasing number of children in Africa accused of witchcraft by pastors and then tortured or killed, often by family members. Pastors were involved in half of 200 cases of "witch children" reviewed by the AP, and 13 churches were named in the case files.

Some of the churches involved are renegade local branches of international franchises. Their parishioners take literally the Biblical exhortation, "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live."

"It is an outrage what they are allowing to take place in the name of Christianity," said Gary Foxcroft, head of nonprofit Stepping Stones Nigeria.

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posted September 09, 2015 05:29 PM            

that's full of bullcrap! she was responsible for her own evil, not me

reading your stories, it feels inside me like you're blaming jesus for everything....

jesus was not responsible for THEIR behaviors

As this thread is in "Divine Diversity", then I understand that this is your religious POV you represent for yourself.

posted September 09, 2015 06:07 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by mirage29:
all that reminded me of my mother who focused her blame on me being the source of her unhappiness in life. if only i hadn't existed, then there would be less pain in this world. it's my fault that people's lives turn to **** . i MADE her sin all the time so i deserved having my life ruined since i ruined hers. she would have been a beautiful person, with a beautiful MUCH BETTER life, then something ugly (me) happened to her?

that's full of bullcrap! she was responsible for her own evil, not me

reading your stories, it feels inside me like you're blaming jesus for everything....

jesus was not responsible for THEIR behaviors

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Where did I say Jesus was?

Where did I say you were?

I'm not talking about you or Christendom, though it would be nice if Christians who don't want to be associated with the abusers would speak up just as they do against Westboro (once Westboro started thanking God for 9/11 and dead soldiers, but not the decade before that when they only bothered gays). But I guess kids will have to continue to suffer and die so that some people don't feel uncomfortable that "Jesus/myself" is under attack or that they themselves feel somehow associated with it, so best pretend the problem doesn't exist and tell people not to talk about it rather than actually doing something about it.

With luck maybe those people abusing and killing kids in the name of Jesus will decide to do it in Satan's name (or even Allah's) and THEN something can be done about it, but until then they get a free pass as to otherwise do anything about it, even acknowledge it, is to "blaspheme Jesus." (Though with such a sweet deal of not being prosecuted as long as they do it in the name of Jesus I don't know why they would.) But if you think it's okay to talk about ritual abuse done in the name of Satan (though not all Satanists do things like that) then why not those who do ritual abuse in the name of other deities? Why does yours get a free pass?

Personally, I don't give a damn whether kids are abused in the name of Jesus, Satan, Buddha, or Freya, child abuse is child abuse, it's the abuse I care about, not the trappings or trivial details like what religion or whatever it's done in.

I don't blame Jesus because I don't really believe Jesus is real the same way you do, he's just a construct. Acknowledging evil done in his name does not mean Jesus is to blame. Of course it would be nice if Jesus (or any deity) came down from the heavens and kicked the crap out of some people but if that happened then we'd live in a very different world.

You should know better given the positive Christians and Christian experiences I've talked about in other threads.

I don't understand why people react that way. Not all Christians do, though. Some are fully aware that people do horrible things in Christ's name and they stand up to them rather than feel the need to hide it as if they're personally responsible or somehow associated.

I'm fully aware that there are some horrible bigots that do horrible things (including blood sacrifice) that call upon Scandinavian gods like Freya and I've clashed with some but back when I considered Freya literally real I never felt insecure about my own understanding or relationship with Freya over the negative elements and I mixed with other Heathens but was wary of those who had values very different from my own (when outsiders brought up the bad apples I sympathized). I guess I just had more faith than others who feel attacked all too easily.

quote:

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Originally posted by mirage29:
As this thread is in "Divine Diversity", then I understand that this is your religious POV you represent for yourself.

I hope your material helps solve the problem in some way, not just for you, but for the world at-large.

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Acknowledging that abuse is done in the name of religion isn't a "religious POV," it's an observation.

I wouldn't have mentioned what I did save that YOU misunderstood my talking about the Satanic Panic with Satanic Ritual Abuse and as I clarified you kept confusing the two. If you didn't keep misunderstanding then I wouldn't have to keep clarifying, but now I see it's not that I wasn't clear but rather that you couldn't acknowledge what I was saying and so had to twist it in your mind so that I was saying something else (but I had to keep clarifying because I figured the problem was with how I was explaining it rather than how you were trying to change it into something else). Just because the topic made you uncomfortable doesn't mean I was trying to make you uncomfortable.

posted September 10, 2015 08:33 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Pixie Jane:
...Acknowledging evil done in his name does not mean Jesus is to blame.

Of course it would be nice if Jesus (or any deity) came down from the heavens and kicked the crap out of some people... but if that happened then we'd live in a very different world.

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I liked that idea. Okay, bring it on!

posted September 11, 2015 05:29 PM            

I'm a really empathic person. My soul feels such a crush when other people suffer or have some kind of pain.

When you said, "Acknowledging evil done in his name does not mean Jesus is to blame," you pinpointed exactly the coupling-mechanism for me that needed to be detached inside me.

Many times I'll like 'take the blame' into myself, in order to be 'the agent' of healing in another person's life. Sometimes people need to use someone else to project blame onto, so they can shift it off themselves, process it as separate from them for a while, then things are sifted and settle, and they heal and have resolve from their issues.

Unconsciously, I've been that for others (as I had with my mother blaming me for everything).

I had come to a point of emotionally being able to begin to push-off (using reason and logic) and re-assign her blames to herself.

I have a very early memory (I was about 3yrs and a few months old) of my mother and my little toddler brother in diapers. He was standing at the cellar stairs. There was a babygate blocking access to basement-- (door was open to allow cool air from basement to circulate to main floor during hot summer days). He was squalling because he wanted to go down to the basement to play with toys there. She had been preparing food at the counter. She put down the utensil, went over to the gate, flung it open, then with the top of her foot she launch-lifted his diapered bottom into the air and he went down that flight of steep wooden stairs. In the meantime, I was near that front door, and I clutched the knob, trying to leave. She ordered me to stop. THEN, she looks at me and said "YOU did this!" and went to fetch my brother, who was semi-conscious. She had picked him up, shook him lightly, blew in his face, and suddenly he blasted out a cry. After that, she had him on the countertop with towels on his head...

It took me YEARS to separate out her foot from my foot. She had blamed me. She was mother. Mother is always right, they don't lie... (fallacy) So, I MUST have done it, but how could I, if I was near that door, which blocked my exit out.

I loved my mom so much, but she was COLD.

This New Moon Eclipse in Virgo is near my own Moon (among other things, represents the mother or females). (Moon square MarsCancer, Mars square IC 2+ Aries). Saturn is also in last degree of Scorpio (deep emotions processing). And today is the anniversary of USA 9/11 attack.... Been feeling that outer-type grief somber day with me all day. I actually think it started 3 or 4 days ago but I wasn't fully realizing it was there. But the body-psyche remembers things so-impressed into my soul...

Acknowledging evil done by persons of a radicalized religious sect, does not mean the whole religion is to blame. 9-11 Attack
(I 'understood' that finally when I attended the Carter Center online Conference on Women and Religious Freedom a few years ago-- I gained SUCH liberation from prejudices I didn't realize I had, because of lack of knowledge. Afterwards, this became sooo clear. God became sooo much more 'clear' to me as a result of letter go my hurt for 9-11 linked to entire religious group, rather than the radicalized sect. They killed 5,000 innocent persons 'in the name' of their god. Terrorists now shout 'that name' as they continue their radicalized activities around the globe.)

So I guess I'm processing things (hurts) from so many levels, emotionally. Chiron in Pisces is opposite this NM Solar Eclipse Virgo 20-degrees... around 2 am here, Saturday Sep13/2015.

'This thread' and what you said in response to me, PJ, turned so real.

Sometimes after pain happens from long ago, it can hide unprocessed.

I was not to-blame for my mother's behaviors. You were not to-blame for my underlying un-ease with this topic.

Things done, are things-done sometimes. People have fall-outs from it... We can't always understand the reason 'why' some things happen-- but they happened. To try to label it, and crush it, and punish it, only goes so far. Sometimes the thing just 'is' ~~ and we stand alone WITH each other's company and presence, and just "be" there in it with them.

I can't heal what happened to those children who were killed using 'the name' by crucifying myself, or re-crucifying Christ. And it's not good to then start blaming the 'other' by extensions, because they're a religion, they are a cop or a teacher, or nun or priest. Can't spread the evil by prejudicing the whole role or group.

posted September 11, 2015 11:50 PM            

Interesting, and glad I was able to be of some unwitting help.

I hear about so many childhoods that make me realize why the world seems a bit crazy. And I can understand in my own way. Spiders tend to elicit strong emotions in me which surprises people.

I believe it's because when I was 4. It first started when calves were being branded and such and I ran to my uncle to stop it. He told me it didn't hurt them and that was such an obvious lie that I was stunned and started crying because I was terrified by the implications that I couldn't trust what the adults said and thus my entire world was in chaos. Being 4 I couldn't explain and he was annoyed by my just breaking out into sobs inexplicably though he sensed I was skeptical of his claim to say the least.

Not long after he made burgers which I ate and then told me that the burgers were made from my favorite cow (she was a calm, docile old cow that stayed away from other cows and I was allowed to be around her, unlike other cows who were potentially dangerous). While primitive by modern standards our farm has the means to be self-sustaining in many ways including turning cows into burgers. And yet cows were also milked, eggs were collected, and all that and I assumed this was something of that nature (again, I was 4) and said she tasted good without being upset as he gave me a strange speech about cows being livestock and not pets so they get treated differently.

It took several days before I realized "my cow" was dead...and though I couldn't put it into words I knew that cow had been killed because she was special to me. That is, my love killed her and I was wracked with guilt as well as fear of others I loved being killed (this powerful and poignant memory is the primary reason, though not only one, I tend to argue or even get sarcastic with people who say kids have no empathy or sense of right or wrong but must be taught these things by adults).

Meanwhile, around this same time I saw the biggest barn spider ever (remember, I was 4, so it didn't take much to impress me on how big it was). I ran to get Granny to kill it and she explained how important spiders were to keep the pests down, a major problem for a farm. Being 4 I struggled to understand and somehow came to the conclusion that the spider was SUPPOSED to eat bugs and wanting to be helpful I started to catch crickets and grasshoppers to throw into its web. I thought the spider was dancing in joy (now I realize the spiders was feeling out the vibrations to find the bug) though after awhile I got the feeling the spider was thinking "enough already!" (It had used a lot of energy wrapping up those bugs.)

At first the bit about the spider didn't affect me and I'm glad I was able to read Charlotte's Web early on before it did. And yet at some point it did.

I think it was because the elementary school made us watch Old Yeller at the end of every school year (a cynical part of me wonders if they weren't just being sadistic since many kids would cry and then some who cried got picked on and even beat up for crying). I didn't like it the first time but found it tolerable (I recall thinking anyone dumb enough to play with a bear cub DESERVED to be mauled by a bear, and I was about the same age as the boy in the film doing so) and the second time I tried to read but found it hard in the dim light and the film playing. After the third year of ending the school with that crap film (just how I felt about it) I threw a fit and very loudly refused to watch it saying I was going to the library, and no pleading or threatening would sway me and I said how much I HATED that movie. One said I needed to see it to learn about death. Already riled up I shrieked, "I've known about death since Uncle Eric killed my cow!"

They didn't know how to respond to that and I was finally allowed to spend the time in the school library instead (and every other time they showed that film to the school).

It was because of the movie that reminded me of when I was 4 (no doubt the real reason I was so upset by it) and I got to thinking of that spider again. And I thought about the bug I threw in its web with a greater understanding of what I'd done. I'd meant well but I realized those bugs wouldn't see it that way and I anthropomorphized them then as I'd once done the spider. And I started to feel like my uncle who had killed my cow. I think the spider thing happened before the cow episode and maybe I wondered then if my feeding the spider didn't cause my cow to be killed as well. Whatever the case I started having nightmares over it and couldn't stand the thought of spiders because of all it evoked in my mind.

As I matured I gained more control over those feelings yet my mind was marked by it. I write this poem about 10 years ago (when I was in my early 20s):

Why do I stare raptly at spiders
But have nightmares of them crawling
all over my body
Spinning the web of life
the web of death?

Is it my flesh fears being prey
even as it acts as predator?
Or do I fear the pain
that sparks wisdom
and the pain wisdom brings?

posted September 12, 2015 12:06 AM            

Needless to say neither of us were okay with that (these were her cats and here the "good Christians" were killing cats because I, and she, cared for them, just as my Christian uncle killed that cow to teach me a lesson, but they say I'm the evil one!). And I don't get why people who don't like "cat-killing Satanists" have no problems killing cats themselves. (Having read on the Satanic Panics many wrongly accused of being Satanists found their cats killed or even just some random cat killed and hung on their door.)

posted September 12, 2015 12:29 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by mirage29:
Acknowledging evil done by persons of a radicalized religious sect, does not mean the whole religion is to blame. 9-11 Attack
(I 'understood' that finally when I attended the Carter Center online Conference on Women and Religious Freedom a few years ago-- I gained SUCH liberation from prejudices I didn't realize I had, because of lack of knowledge. Afterwards, this became sooo clear. God became sooo much more 'clear' to me as a result of letter go my hurt for 9-11 linked to entire religious group, rather than the radicalized sect. They killed 5,000 innocent persons 'in the name' of their god. Terrorists now shout 'that name' as they continue their radicalized activities around the globe.)

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You might love the movie that this is a trailer of:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZ22VyjJ6n8

I've watched it about 20x, which is extremely rare for me to watch ANY movie that many times (granted, this was over years). And I've laughed and cried every single time. And have a pretty good idea what my life would've been like had I grew up in Iran (and if they hadn't gotten me out during my teen years as her parents did for her then probably wouldn't live to see adulthood).

I can't stand the thought of dropping bombs on the ordinary people to get at the government. Those people need to be saved from their theocratic government, not treated as the enemy.

That aside, here's something my gallows humor really appreciates, a Texas fundamentalist exchanging hate with a member of the Taliban from Afghanistan (as it says, it doesn't apply to all Texans and Afghani but one reason it was so funny to me was because I know Texans like the one they portrayed there) only to find they have a lot more in common than either of them thought:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYV7KWQ-fY4

posted September 17, 2015 06:56 PM            

When I had been struck by a period of surprise homelessness about a year after the USA 9-11-2001 attack happened in NYC, Pennsy, and Washington DC, in order to 'block' out the rest of the world in that dorm-warehouse of bunks, I'd borrow music CD's from local library, and get into the music in my earbuds from my loft-above them.

I really liked the Carmina Burana opera by Carl Orff. You're probably familiar with the opener as they've used it in satanic-horror pics.

So anyways, I'd get into really tight concentration into the music-- almost meditative. And I guess they might have heard some of the scratchy sounds coming from louder parts of the musical overflow in my ears...

A 'rumor' got started that I was worshipping the devil-- and I mean, THEY were serious?!! Not kidding.

Wow, they started to leave me alone, not wanting to unduly 'disturb' or **** me off!!! OMG !!!!

So actually, that ended up being a 'sweet spot' in my memory of all that. People had respect. They didn't want to 'mess' with me. They had it 'bad-enough' as-it-was! They didn't want any more misfortune by hex put on them.

posted September 18, 2015 02:21 AM            

I really want to...I don't know. I'm thrashed, it's time for me to go to bed. And I think I want to share a video but I should watch it first all the way through to be sure. I'm just saying so you don't think I'm ignoring you.

posted September 18, 2015 02:14 PM            

And yikes with Mercury retro? I feel speeded up, and that can cause overlooking things I 'should' have noticed before I'd posted it. So, you are using good wisdom, as you said about viewing videos ALL the way through, first.

I do that, about 99 3/4 % of the time! Chances are that I've seen it from start to very finish. I hadn't done that 'all the way' with something I put up in above post. Midway through the vid, I had taken my eyes off maybe 10 seconds to quick-checked something, and it caused 'my eye' to miss a couple visuals that I later thought best would not so-exactly represent the main focus of my idea or ideal. So I edited that out (in case you 'happened' to jump in here and saw it in the span of time it took for me to check the finished product).

A lot of times, when I leave 'religiously' oriented vids/music, I like to choose things where people of DIFFERING Faiths would be able to sub-apply it to themselves in and from THEIR OWN 'personal' God-Language perspective or PersonalBelief-language.

There had been times in the past, when I didn't view a vid to the last-possible moving second, and some sneaky-dishonest vidder had 'added' something that I would have considered entirely inappropriate. HAD they left the vid WITHOUT the jab at the end, they could have applied their work in a more universally-appealing manner. I take a certain pride in 'you guys' knowing that I wouldn't wave bad-flags like that. That's inexcusable, to me. I have certain threads rolling where it's "okay" to BE more the 'religion' oriented part of Christianity... but even there, I DO try to be picky about 'what' I leave.

(I remember 'what it was like' to be pounded by fanatics with a rigid agenda, who didn't CARE and would do it 'on purpose' to INSULT people-- grrrr. hmmm, I guess I still harbor hard-feelings there to some of those. Wanted to kick their ass sooooo hard!!! and still DO~!! haha blllleh)

You know that it is NOT my intention to purposely insult or play superiority. The longer I live, the more wideness I've seen. We CAN'T judge another person without DEEPLY being CONVICTED of our OWN Failures somewhere along the line of our lives. My God... What we do to one another, without realizing.... But then too, I have to look and console myself that I did a few things right too...

There's a new kind of leveling going on in the etherics/spiritual. And I feel it profoundly-deeply. Humans having spiritual-parallel-experiences, but 'labelling' it in ways that block sharing what is true. Words... My God, Words!!! {{Help us be more responsible with Words...}} Words are like a medicine: right word, right time, right route.

PJ, People have been hurting for so long. We've got to learn how to Understand ourselves and others, and to ALLOW them to BE who they are and let it 'be' okay.

So!~~ omg, enough *sobbing* right now. There's like sooo much to do (in the Vision kinds of realms). And we can only put into place one small puzzle-piece at one tiny moment of the time.

So... I hope you get enough rest. I've noticed people around me saying how they need to take more naps in order to get through their day. I'm not a napper, never was. But I DO understand when others need to.