posted November 01, 2015 09:31 PM            

Hi Faith....
I truncated my long detailed post soon after Randall had commented and before you had made your 8:08pm response post. :( Pretty emoji--- lot's of Candy! LOL

Actually, I was surprised to read that you had 'seen' it. I thought your comment was based on something that was already disappeared before you made your post.

Actually, I was glad that the hard work I had put in didn't go unnoticed. :bheart:

I became sensitive to the fact that sometimes I have a tendency to give out too much 'unsolicited' information to people... (Jennifer Angel's recent vid made me aware of how I tend to do that, often.) You KNOW I'm an infoslutt!! LOL, into all kinds of info and data. Ceres Capricorn wants to feed from what she possesses. I may not have cars to give away anymore, nor a house, nor other material goods--- but what I DO have is what I've learned. I share what I know out of Love, and usually in appreciation to people I like or who have been kind to me.

Also felt badly about 'derailing' your thread. When I saw the comment about asking if we didn't mind you posting more items keeping in-line with your OP, I felt awful inside for having shared sooo intimately and very very long here--- and see, I'm doing that again. (That was ME, and not you.)

As I offered before, I could delete (or reshape) the things I shared to 'fit' the intention of your OP WITHOUT compromising the goodwill of things said. (I know that in OTHER sections of LL, it's a 'game' to see if you can 'trap' a person with things they said by them changing the 'context' you comment appeared in. I would NOT do that to anyone--- heh, not even if I didn't like something they said, nor how they might have mistreated me.) -- Sorry I did that to your thread??, but then, omg, WE seem to do it anyways.... (so much Love to you--- we've been wanting a thread for a long time? Those others in H&H would horribly glitch. This seems to have stabilized now. I thought you were really FUNNY with your comments about experimenting to see if it would post or not. ....And I think LL had some problems recently with posts not sticking, but condition seems to have calmed now. I know that I've had posts that I edited and made MUCH better, but the older version showed up with all that potential for misunderstands. Sometimes!!!, I have to 'see' it posted to really 'read' what I 'think' I said! oh noooo.)

You say you feel that you've been trying to push boulders uphill all your life... ? {{ :bheart:}}

I 'understand' the pain of Sisyphus. I think more and more and more people feel like that these days in Society where it's basically run on the philosophy of every-man to themselves, and anyone who falls-behind gets left-behind.

I wouldn't want that for YOU.

That's why I've spent a lot of time with your stuff.

And you certainly have poured LOADS of thought and care into the posts you've shared with me.

Another thing....

I didn't want to 'burden' you... I felt you offer your listening ear, and I shared things with you (and LK, and others) that I've never had the opening to share before.

Venus Taurus Child.... You Understood.

And part of MY painful and personal burden is NOT wanting to put ANY WEIGHTS on others.

I roll my own rock, push my own boulders, and I'm feeling more tired now, and I'm older now, and that job of making it up the hill has overwhelmed me emotionally now because I KNOW there are only a limited number of tries left before it's game-over for me. The game is not adventure, but one more seriously closer to live and death. The longer I've gone, the harder the recovery time, and the less-willing that outside-people want to 'be involved'... Afterall, old people are supposed to die. They use up all the resources that could be better invested upon the youth. Older people are a 'cost-center' and unwanted burden of care.

You are very lucky Faith-- You're going to have children who love you, and who will BE THERE for you when you are older. Cherish them, Faith. Love them.
... You've got other relatives (~I know, I know, they bother you... awwww. I'm SURE what you say is legit! *heart*). They ARE curious about your life, and actually add energy to it. ....

I was completely abandoned-- shut out by some really hateful females there.

Do you know how 'terrifying' it is to be a little 'different' from everyone else, to not able to fully support yourself, and to be looking at being handed-over into the hands of cold govt bureaucrats who don't give a crap about sensitivities, who ABUSE people emotionally and physically and other ways who are in their register-rolls?

At least for the immediate now, I get to still walk around on my own, be conscious of an ability to cherish the last span of freedom I have left, before something happens (to rm, or self) where I 'lose it all'.

I don't have anything *they* regard as having material value. Doesn't even seem to count that I was BORN here in this country, and I endured being a child of a military man who left home every time there was an emergency going on in community, country or the world.
(That was terrifying to my mother... I remember those times for her. When there was rioting and violence in the streets, or severe weather emergencies, he would up and leave us by ourselves.)

I was DEEPLY grateful that you extended Care towards me that you did, and I felt 'bad' for placing one more burden on you--- that you didn't need or deserve.

When you've had a hard life, it's 'hard' to be part of a group and share.

On one hand, people are insulted when you are among them, and remain as a mystery to them because they tend to be suspicious about people who are quiet... seem to 'keep secrets' away from them deliberately.

And yet, when I DO share, it feels to me like they want to go screaming out of the room away from me because it's too hard for them to hear or to bear. Then, I feel like a freak-----

What was better? Feeling all bottled up where the group of people want to suspect you of something not-nice about your character, or to be willing to share your grief and freak 'em all out from you, for sure.

So, what you saw must have been one of those LL "unrefreshed-page" kinds of phenomenon-- (that you read my delineation still appearing on-screen after it was actually gone. ... Talk about Halloween ghosts...?

I wish Peace for you also... And hope that things get better... Your kids will be extra antsy because of the move, and the holidays ahead. You know, your relo may be showing up in your chart. I was almost going to predict the date range, haha. (I should have taken it further, done that, then written it down. Would have been an interesting experiment.

Sorry if this post seems like it's more negative?... Again, dealing with background things here, sorry to keep on saying that, but it's like trying to sort MY thoughts from what *drama* is going on in the TV. I'm sensitive to emotional-upsets in the background while I'm trying to concentrate on something else. It's like my ear-balls are wincing! LOL

(And Autocorrect messes with my words here!)

Actually I place POSITVE vibes into my life. All the negatives are like they are old, and dropping off me. I MENTION them, but it feels as though these things are 'changing' for the BETTER actually. Just a ~weird hope, that has a strange chance of coming true for me right now.

GOD is on the Move... And it's going to be a Good Thing. {{{hug}}}

Wishing you the Best... :heart: :bheart:

posted November 02, 2015 08:17 AM            

Thing is, I never feel like you are derailing or talking too much. Well how can you "derail" if I (the All Powerful OP! *wink* ) truly believe that all things are connected, all things are One, and we're just here on this thread to talk about life?

I really love your posts, and it's hard for me to see why you would remove them. I'm aware of your sensitivities and wanted to be reassuring ~ though there is nothing as completely reassuring as a thorough reply. "Pushing boulders uphill" was my shorthand for, trying to do the impossible. I didn't want you to feel like I was brushing you off, even though I didn't have the means of answering you appropriately at that time. I saw your removal of content almost like a punishment, because I was aware that I came up short...just needed your forebearance.

If you're not quite fully comfortable posting as you do, I understand, but it concerns me if you really cannot see the value of your input. That's a big problem because your writing is amazing, and something must be broken if you undervalue it. Trouble with this forum is, the general pattern of conversation tends to be shorter and less deep.

quote:

---

Older people are a 'cost-center' and unwanted burden of care.

---

They do get treated that way. Just one more symptom of how totally lost our society, in its general trends, has gotten. I don't want to quote you too much but I do understand how terrifying it must feel, to not have any material security in this world...and to have to rely on the government (and our gov't scares the cr*p out of me, I don't trust it at all.) It's hard to send children out into this world, too.

I almost envy the people who are closer to the Exit. Sometimes.

quote:

---

When you've had a hard life, it's 'hard' to be part of a group and share.

---

I can see that. Well I also feel that I qualify, though my life hasn't been as hard as others'. I do feel like an outsider.

But this idea you have, that you share things and people run away, I have never perceived it like that. I've seen you make positively brilliant comments and people ignore them, and I assume it's because they habitually skip long posts or didn't know what to say....not to make a competition out of it but it would be very hard to meet you at your level...you MUST know your own quality? I wish you could offer it with a "Damn straight!!! I said that!!!" confidence, not even caring about the reception...it's the participation and your formulation of things that's beautiful.

Not sure where anything stands ~ if you want to stay and chat more or take a break, either way I understand.

Thanks very much again for this lovely and edifying conversation. Thank you.

posted November 02, 2015 05:13 PM            

quote:

---

I saw your removal of content almost like a punishment because I was aware that I came up short...just needed your forbearance.

---

Again, not at all... I'm sorry you felt that way.... I didn't even think you had 'seen' my post. I removed the content because I felt insecure or ~weird that I was sharing so much stuff. Didn't want you to feel I was stalking or anything! hahahaha

This is something you and I have been building trust communications about. I've seen some of the other posts over at 2.0, and you can come across with a different flavor there. (Sooooo witty! ~what a riot!) Even that we can be 'funny' here, I find that we are more honest and straightforward and DEEP here. It has another 'vibe' to it.

Now I KNOW THIS IS NOT YOU... okay? But it's what lurks in my pain-shadow-worlds.

I'm wondering too if (just below the conscious surface levels) another part of me began to question or falter a bit, starting to 'wonder' how real these conversations were?
... I've had wounds from back in high school where a 'group of girls' had all set me up individually. I was pleased that I suddenly seemed to rise in popularity. I relished some of the more serious conversations I was having with the girls--- when suddenly 'the surprise' was sprung on me one day in the classroom. They sat together as a group assembled, and I found out that I had been set-up to be the butt of a HUGE cruel and humiliating joke.
... (You've seen those kinds of scenarios in movies before. That kind of behavior can bite.)

... So I'm having "a healing experience here" with our open-hearted open-minded Gem-energy exchange.
(t Uranus energizing my H4 Deep Psychological Foundations;
(humor) t Saturn "fluffing" (yeah, I decided to name Saturn '~Fluffy'! ~ o goshhh, *looking* ... Maybe he'll be nicer to me??? if I think positive thoughts about him, LOL)... seriously, t Saturn is in my H12 of Unconscious unhealed matters and bringing out my fears and anxieties that are purely inwardly psychologically based;
t Pluto finishing my H1 of self-concept/image crossing into my H2 of things you 'have' (including materials, self-worth and self-esteem, talents; and you know I also have my Chiron wounded-Healer there).

... Faith, I realize in a clearer way today that I had been being 'haunted' BY that betrayal. Like I said before, I didn't have persons in my life back then who were watching out for me, and supporting. I did that by myself (without 'grace' and infusion of kindness and security into my development-- I lived in an isolated scared world).

Trusting others has been mighty-difficult for me in my lifetime (for good-reason, too).
... The fearful notion that some people only want to get close to you, in order to set you up for a spiteful public-humiliation is something I wonder, and prepare for if-needed.
... I took it well, back then. But I guess there was always something lurking that was 'hurt' inside me. Has me doubt and question the intention (and loyalty) of a person who would, for example, 'want something from me.' ... I might feel the shadow-fear that their agenda wasn't merely to extract the information/schoolwork I gave them soooo freely with generous heart, but they had something more-sinister plotted, PLUS they'd get away with having their schoolwork I already done for them. (yes, *drama* sooo pathetic~~ )

I can get pretty intense into what I'm doing for people. Didn't want to bowl you over with too much information at once. (I was told about that tendency I have, too.)

(funny aside)... Rick said that Mercury Gemini's are "informationslutts"--- omg! I. am. ~STILL LMAO from that one! He's funny-hysterical when he conjures some of his imageries. Soooo right-on!
... I mean, he looked kind of ~uncomfortable just before he said this? Then you could just see the pressure peaking. It's a genuine-moment building and building inside him, and then~~~ it was as though inside he says 'o what the hell, I'm calling it for what it is!!' He burst out with it! LOL!!! (I can see how more-sensitive he's made himself in his delivery. Factual, and tries not to offend people-- which is admirable).

Faith---- YES, you deserve forbearance!!! I didn't 'realize' you had seen it.

THANK YOU SO MUCH for the compliments! It was exactly something I've been needing to hear. I had worked-out all the feelings of slight from 'no responses' to my posts. I decided maybe a year ago not to delete them (like I used to-- no response had me thinking it wasn't appropriate enough for them, and I'd delete my comment in order for their thread to be more in unison. -- But *ahem* you're right. Some of my ideas or feedback was "Damn straight!!!" LOL (thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!)

So interesting how your feedback is coming to me after the time I had decided that what I have to say IS valuable, even if/when others don't say so. Thank you for being that support. ... You know, it's part of the Mastery I need for my H8 stellium. That it's important for me to SAY what I have to say to a group. To GIVE that opinion I formed. {{Heart}}

I listened to Nadiya Shah talk about Leo's today (for this week's broadcasts). Since I have Progressed stellium there right now, and it's going to receive three MORE planets too over the next years, I pay attention to Leo things (And you have that Rising).

She said that compliments have two components. One is the feedback, and the other part belongs to the person RECEIVING the compliment. That the person receiving has 'responsibility' to 'own' what was said.

I haven't said everything that I wanted here, but I need to take a break, so this is a good time as any.

ABSOLUTELY, O All Powerful OP!!!! LOL-- OF Course I want to continue. Please forgive my OWN insecurities and doubts and how these may have affected you.

You're Awesome!!! as I regularly tell you. OWN IT, B!!! LMAO.... So Much Love to YOU!!! You make a big Difference in someone's life--- MINE!

(I'm not done commenting on things you said above.)

Would you like me to repost the data I removed on a fresh thread here? Your h58 Waldemath Moon transit is this afternoon into tomorrow, I think. ... It uncovers (for a moment, and may FEEL EMOTIONAL) a Talent you have that you weren't aware of... So, BE KIND to your Beautiful Self!!! And let's keep doing this.

posted November 02, 2015 11:20 PM            

Thank you mirage! You really brightened my day, I'm glad we are getting things sorted out! Please please leave your post up? I'm short on time and mental energy and just came to ask you to leave that up for me.

Much love, & peace, & some helium balloons,

(Slightly redundant since balloons usually suggest love and peace are right there, too. LOL)

posted November 03, 2015 02:35 PM            

I was going to leave the song "Feeling Groovy"... Slow down, you move too fast, but I couldn't find a slowed-down-enough version of it to bring you a sense of momentum, AS WELL AS stability and Peace!

I'm lighting a candle for you... and now, a stick of Rose Incense.

posted November 03, 2015 06:38 PM            

Wow that is beautiful imagery...and do you really have rose incense? I love roses...what a lovely thing, to light a candle for someone. I really need to do that, too!

Been talking to a lot of people lately...all so wonderful...and all in some kind of need, if only just to be listened to...and what I love, love to do is listen....I just need more time. Too many things to do, and you're exactly right, I'm moving too fast. Thanks for understanding!

It pains me to read about all the painful betrayals you've lived through. What a mess, and yes that would set you up for some trust issues, of course...it's perfectly understandable. I think there is a fancy psychological word for this...schema? I'm embarrassed because I read all about schemas and then forgot. It's on my "research that more one day!" list.

I consider myself trustworthy but I can see how others might not know how to take me. Lots of different energies and I'm the one spinning all the various dishes, on the poles, my arms, my head...hmmm, maybe I use "erratic" as a cloak, something to cover my own schemas...or, it's just the Aqua Mercury square Scorpio Uranus *Way.* Not too sure...but I can decipher this, I think:

quote:

---

This is something you and I have been building trust communications about. I've seen some of the other posts over at 2.0, and you can come across with a different flavor there. (Sooooo witty! ~what a riot!) Even that we can be 'funny' here, I find that we are more honest and straightforward and DEEP here. It has another 'vibe' to it.

---

I enjoy deep communication best. Sometimes it requires a lot of emotional strength for me to have deep conversations with people, because depth usually equates with pain, and when I talk to people about their pain, I actually try to inhabit their pain. I try and get a sense of the shape of it and occupy that space and understand it from inside of that "simulator." And I do this just about every day...it's as natural to me as breathing....but if I spend a lot of time in one person's awesome virtual reality pain simulator, it saps me. And I actually have a bunch of friends simultaneously enduring different heartbreaks now...plus my own issues. So, sometimes, I try and recharge just by being goofy and putzing around saying inconsequential jibberish, blowing off steam or being a verbal whirling dervish or something. It's relaxing for me. And getting into long deep conversations is even MORE relaxing, in a different way, so long as I have the emotional and time resources to do it properly. So I may "ignore" people I am thinking about a lot, to talk to people I barely know, because the latter form of communication kinda lets the air circulate through me and loosens me up. 3H Libra Pluto...gotta be deep...gotta be airy...both, somehow.

This rambling sorta qualifies as wordplay, except I am mentally so focused on you and hoping to reach you and help move our relationship fluency forward? I hope....but it's still just a hold-me-over until I get more time/emotional resources to reply to your last long response more thoroughly.

Man, I can TALK can't I? God bless Gemini Mars.

I also have to thank you again for nudging me to consider God again, but I don't like to do that in a post, it's so underwhelming considering how I feel, I would rather orchestrate some kind of parade?

Like this?

I'm not pushing Krishna, just hoping you enjoy pretty elephants as much as I do.

edit...distracted by my five-year old.

To go back to the main thing...just thinking about God again has brought me some of the most enjoyable and amazing times, lately. I just want to be centered enough to thank you properly for that...how do I even start? I'm still kinda privately ruminating over everything, almost like a secret, but I didn't want to wait too long to tell you, I'm thanking you for opening this whole line of inquiry once again. It's been delightful.

posted November 03, 2015 06:51 PM            

Sorry for sounding clumsy above, I shouldn't have even attempted concentrating with all that's going on here...but I DO still try and push boulders uphill. Please be my fairy godmother and wave a magic wand over my awkwardness?

And can all non-fairy-people refrain from even reading the extended blabber above?

Appreciated.

posted November 04, 2015 03:54 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Faith:
New post lets me have more emoticons.

---

*The edit happened, then undid. I hope this return to my first edit stays. It was the better-one.*

You crack me up!
And you don't sound one bit awkward to me-- you are 'preaching to the choir' when you talk about distractions-- I don't need to remind you that I 'understand'! AND I will say that you are making perfect sense, and I see that 'craft' writing Gift you have. EVEN IF we have to write in short-cut sentences sometimes (because of kids, and woofers?? LOL), 'the ideas' are what's important. (We both know that WE can 'write'... no need to prove, there. *Love*)

Regarding that you're not pushing Krishna?...
(humorously) Nahhh, I would just let-him pilot his Elephant of Creation there. He's gets a much broader view-- such a Beautiful sight!! (Very nice picture.)

Actually, if I were a religion that was not Christian-Abrahamic covenant, I would be attract towards the Krishna/Hindu sects rather than a Buddhist. My inner-child needs the stimulation-- shiny-objects! LOL So many Beautiful colors in artistry. And I like feeling that heaven is filled with saints and busyness, as opposed to a dead black vacuum of nothing at all. I think that THIS Gemini COULD die of boredom, despite what others say--- It's trueeee , It's sooo trueeee!!

Story--
I almost dropped out of high school during my final year? (I think it was the final?) My grades dropped from all-A's to D's and F's. I was sooooooo freakin' BORED in my classes-- teachers were busy 'babysitting' the bad kids, and leaving ME to mind-deprivation and starvations--- I lost it!
... Decided to create MY OWN course curriculum.
I'd go to homeroom, then off to study (by myself) in the library. The librarians never questioned me because I had a good reputation and was known as a Straight-A student.
... I learned how to use reference books (thesaurus, etc). I read stories from Robert Graves Mythology.
... There was a book there, too, on a special school around NYC called "Summerhill." I hugged that book, looking longingly at the pictures, and crying my eyes out!! I wanted that!
... Then I'd go to lunch, maybe studyhall, and slip into the Band Room.
The teacher never questioned me being there either! ~~I helped him with a video he was creating about a Historic Site nearby... He used my voice to narrate. (That was cool.) He practiced piano (was a concert pianist too), and specialized in a lot of Ives pieces.
... The last period class was always Choir, and I LIVED for that!! (We were award-winning excellent, btw.)

My best friend during that time was a Pisces, and she heard rumors that the teachers knew I was bagging classes. They were sooo confused about 'what to do' with me, and let me continue a while because I wasn't going to the local burger place to hang out with the rest of the truants ; I was ACTUALLY "using" my time to Learn and study.
... Skipping forward--
On my friend's advice I went to my regular class that Friday after a week of bagging. They had a 'trap' set for me. Thanks to my friend, I wasn't there! But I got found and hauled off to VicePrincipal's office (HUGE school). (My mom was there waiting, and hadn't said a word to me that they were on to me.) For my "punishment" they were taking what I liked AWAY from me-- I was banned from choir.
... I stood up, and announced "I Quit School right NOW!"
... My mother was there and cackled a smart 'I ~Told You So!!' to the VicePrincipal. He said, Wait a minute, don't do that. Negotiated that I could stay in Choir but had to serve 21 detentions (no sports or other afterschool activities).
... I was popular with the eggheads AND had the respect of hoodlums. That many detentions? I think I had the record number among those of us sitting there?!

So that's my 'bad self'... I like to LEARN--- don't get in my way!! If there's NOTHING for me to learn and chew???? ohgiod, then sheer boredom spells out torture, and with *death* its only remedy. LOL

Taught my OWN self how to play piano, borrowing book 'Teaching Little Fingers How To Play' (and later, using music scores with recordings-- where I would make it 'sound' like the record. I placed Intermediate Level in college aptitude test, without lessons. (By taking the aptitude test, I didn't 'know' that I had just applied to ADD another major-- so it was like I got into Music by accident!) They offered to train me to be a pianist (and as a composer, and opera singer, too?!!). But I was NOT prepared for the world, I was empty and shattered and 'pretending' I was alive-- Always felt that I had no idea what I was doing, but getting away with it.

Ongoing Abuse had soooo completely decimated my Right to an existence---
Yeah, you want to be a nobody?... I was already one of those.

What I NEEDED were people to tell me I was IMPORTANT to them, that I was WORTH investing in--

I was scared of the offers from my professors (not just in Music, but was given Beautiful offers in Psy, and the Philosophy department wanted to give me a teaching-fellowship/ scholarship and to put me through grad school if I would choose them after(if) I graduated with my BAs. (I did NOT graduate-- came within ~12+credits, then life took a terrible sharp turn. I was living with an abusive severely alcoholic person who threatened me with a firearm in front of a coworker-- I relocated to a different state, frozen-traumatized and shocked, and couldn't complete my studies. So much is lost now. What's important was the Learning I had, and all my Life Experiences.)

Faith...... I didn't think ANY of them had ANY idea of what they talked about.
I didn't KNOW that I could TRUST them. They recognized I had Talent, and offered to train it. I had no inkling of being able to RELY on their expertise in education and development. I was soooo totally not-ready for life-itself-- I had NO confidence in myself. (And tSaturn transiting my H12, is causing some personal quaking inside which I am BRAVING now.)

(I grieve a little today... Have those sound-sensitivity headaches starting to ratch up again. Started giving little hints for the past day and a half.... It's the MARS, (and maybe even Venus). Venus going over my IC/MC, Mars transiting the MC/IC too ... I have 'medical' asteroids there. I forget about them, but then when my head starts to ping, well~ yep. It's mostly the transit! *sigh*) I'll "get used to it" in another day or so... Having to adjust self to new wave. I thought the gods would spare me after chewing up my head with Mercury transits double-whammies and retros--- uhhh, nope.)

Dreamed of a "Blue-skinned boy"
I'm not completely sure, but I think "Krishna" was depicted as being an adolescent youth with blue-lighted skin? I 'may' have tapped some of his energy -- but I called him a ufo-guy.

quote:

---

Part e.o.3, 4, start of 5, of LONG dream
Sunday, May 25, 1980
Title: "Moons & Matadors"
{Eastern-religious characters}

...so we decided to go shopping, and went together.

... We got into her red VW and to the road I lived on where I was born, then to the nearby city.

... Riding along, I saw a string of moons up in the sky.
Excitedly, I told my friend to pull the car over. She would not--- then finally did, but she stopped behind a hill (obscuring my view).
I TOLD her of the "moons" that were there, but she seemed tired of me. We got going in the car again, and I SAW them again!...

The Moons were phenomenal! Beautiful! and very mystical. The Light Orbs would move about. Some of them were not full yet.

... We had stopped for a red light. One of the moons began to move closer. The Moons became HUGE. I kept trying HARD to FOCUS on them but my eyes were blurring every once in a while.
With determination, I kept them in sight.

Suddenly one of the moons came OUT of the sky. It was a UFO!! It swept by us on the streets. My friend didn't see it. I ORDERED her to follow it anyway. She draggingly went in the directions I would tell her. It finally disappeared mysteriously. (I had the feeling the UFO people were still around.)...

... We decided to go into a combination classy restaurant & cafeteria!
In the cafeteria part, some men were dressed in Matador-Spanish outfits. I kept watching and feeling people out like a hawk!
I hadn't told my friend why I chose this restaurant, or what I was doing, because she would have ruined it all.

... Finally! I spotted a young adolescent boy. Seemed very pure, his skin almost was Light instead of skin. His eyes were great beautiful blue eyes with Love and softness in them.
He was very tall, with blonde hair.

... I tried to let him know telepathically that 'I knew' he was the UFO that had come around.
I could tell that he 'heard' me, but tried to act as though he didn't. He smiled at some people, but directly avoided my OWN eyes.
Then, he glanced at me in a Knowing way and got up to leave.

... I turned quickly to my friend and said I had to immediately get up and go! That I had spotted the person from the UFO, and I had to go follow him to talk to him.
I said this to her, while rushing to get up.

.. I walked through the classy restaurant into the cafeteria where the Matadors were. It was crowded. He had suddenly disappeared. I was disappointed and subliminally frustrated.

... Went back to my friend, and she wanted to leave.

... Just a few doors down was the door to the conference-workshop we were attending...
The workshop was almost finished. It was 11 am.
Next came the lecture. I sat in the auditorium and looked up at the left. There were a group of people still working under red lights with someone who looked like Buddha in the tub of warm water...
/stopping here (it was a very long dream)

---

So... That's one of my eastern-religion stories. I've had Krishna, Buddha, Yogananda, and Kriyananda in my dreams before.

Had some Cool non-narrative outer-space invisible plane-walking dreams among geometric frame designs with Kriyananda--- even though I barely had input into my life by him, or any of the others. Maybe in a past life I had ALREADY known these?? (Just guessing).

I actually had a known popular-guru (I won't name) who decided all-on-his-own that he just LIKED me a whole lot!!

... omg, in fact, he'd be rude to guests when I would show up to meetings that my roommate was attending at that time.
The robed-dude would see me, run over to me, then HUG me with such affection!! That's a Fact!!! (not embellished). While he ran, he'd exclaim, My Frrriend!!! (Roll those rrr's. LOL)

My guess was that's I didn't 'put on airs' with him. He liked that about me. The others would say, Oh, don't you feel 'special'?.. and I'd politely avoid answering because really, I felt 'ordinary' and plain.

I think he noticed me when I had asked a question, and his answer to me was like 'a put-down' in a way, as he said, Ahhhh, a baby-guru...! I was embarrassed. I asked him my question TOTALLY serious and wanted to KNOW what I asked him. Nothing more, nothing less.
(I think his response was something about my mind needed to slow itself... and the answers to my questions would come. Yes, go ahead and tell that to my speed-datafreak Mercury Gemini mind! ohhh gosh!! LOL)

I LOVE to ponder belief-systems...

I'm so happy that I could evoke some better memories from your past regarding religions you've been a part of. It ALL GETS USED, Faith. There's NO scrap of information or experience you've had that is too diverse, or not-belonging. EVERYTHING counts.

I think that the more we compare the different systems, the more 'sifting' that happens as we pour the vials into each other's, that WE can find 'the Best' of the best of them all.

No one religion has the answer. We all have a part of that puzzle. Get enough people together who can have the conversations, WITHOUT getting too defensive about what they 'think' they know, and we have a United Nations of Belief systems that could open new Awarenesses. I'm excited!

How many times, how many threads have been opened, that tried to have everyone contribute and be 'respectful' of each other?

I'm not talking about IGNORING people and their viewpoints. I'm saying, Let's talk it out! Tell me about your passion, what excites you about Higher Dimensional Beings? I think it's like being in a candy-store!!

Even some of our experiences are 'cloaked' to us--- like, maybe Krishna as a UFO-guy with BLONDE hair??

We ALL tap into the Collective... What we 'get' inside our OWN minds and hearts are derivatives of 'what's possible' if we take it up a notch? Out of the Box! Out of the 'offense' traps. It's ALL possible. It's REALLY factually out of one substance.

We're starting to become more sensitive to subtle energies now. It's NOT airy-fairy marshmellow dreams and rainbows. Aw heck, it's MORE than THAT--- MUCH MUCH more. The flaky-stuff is just the little crumb-dot. We've got SUBSTANCE to taste and share and see. Ohhhh yeah, it's cooolllll. Might seem disparate, but secret is, that it really isn't.

*Heart* We all matter to God. What piece of the Elephant of Creation are you Knowing, for yourself?....

posted November 04, 2015 05:22 PM            

And I think you had written somewhere how one of your sons is 'too scientific' for that mushy-expression of the Holiday Seasons we're entering right now... I want to say?, go ahead and 'show' him how to release his feminine energies by you being the Love that you feel from your past-Good experiences. He needs that kind of role-modeling...

I bet he'll tuck that in a corner of his memories, and it will surface back for him some day when he would need it. It's fully "okay" to have faith, Faith!! There is nothing wasted in 'feeling' and allowing yourself to enjoy it.

I just Love this song....

posted November 05, 2015 09:12 PM            

My Sweet Lord is medicine to me right now thank you..and so is your whole attitude about how it ALL gets used, and we ALL feel our different "pieces of the elephant." I get flat-out depressed when I talk to people who are all like, "I saw the whole elephant. It's my own personal elephant and you have to see the whole thing my way or......well let's not dwell on your....mumble mumble...future in hell." Sooooooooooooooooo depressing.

I'm thrilled we can chat about Krishna. Yeahhhhh maybe he IS an alien! Good dreaming, mirage!

My dreams are never that cool. I'm undereducated because I failed to ditch school the way you did, and fight for my mind's rights. I just sat there having my soul vacuumed out. I retained a bit.

So...I'm dying to know which robed guy was digging you? Though I don't know many robed guys by name. So maybe it wouldn't matter. But I love to think of you having these amazing experiences with cool people. I have never spent much time with hippies, hardcore New Age types....not in person. Wish I could.

I'm unwinding after a seriously annoying day! All these Virgo planets...yay?....too much of a good thing?....opposing my Pisces moon. Oh if only I were a real mermaid.

Always more to say but I'm just popping in for now, thanking you for the extra good stories, and hoping you tell me more.

posted November 06, 2015 12:00 AM            

I did more thinking about your chart this morning (your Cancer H12 and related features and aspects).

Studying your chart (and us getting to know each other) has really helped me understand someone else I've had in my life who is a 7.50 Leo Rising.

I still have you at 10.00 Leo... Seems really close? How about your MC-- Taurus or Aries?? Still playing with TOB?

My lips are sealed for robed-dude. (protecting). I just thought it was a riot that as hungry as others were for his attention, I was just there for the info and experience.

I wouldn't shun learning from the Buddhists either. Like I said before, there's always the 'deep' information past all the introductory levels. There's got to be more to it than just blackness and voids. Maybe language doesn't do justice.

I know that God watches over my life with great interest. He gives me experiences to strengthen me, teach, and correct me-- in His own way and Time. I've met many cool people on the way...

Hold Space that it's possible, and ask.
Draw near to God, and God will draw near to you.

(music) Day by Day (Godspell) [3:18] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtR7xrgZ_Fk

posted November 06, 2015 12:44 AM            

7 Leo is my husband's sun's degree. My father's moon at 6.55 Leo conjunct his Vertex. That would give my father and I a Vertex-ASC double whammy in synastry, with my 23 Sag Vertex on his 22 Sag ASC. (And my husband's 22 Sag draconic sun, btw.)

So I thought, I might be in there? That gives me a 25 or 26 Libra IC, which is:

Conjunct my father's and son's suns
Conjunct my draconic Mars and my father's Mars
Conjunct my composite sun with my husband
Conjunct my name asteroid in my chart
Conjunct my sidereal NN

All within about a degree.

It also puts my ex-soulmate's name asteroid exactly on my DSC. His draco Jupiter at 26 Libra.

Tr Jupiter right on my 25-26? Aries MC the day my first son, a Sag, was born.

And many other attesting signs and wonders, that makes me think my ASC is 7 Leo.

Oh! Like my husband's pr ASC was at 7 Leo when we met, so his angles would have all matched mine.

Hope your experiences with another 7 Leo person were good?

If not, well, I might have another ASC after all, we never know.

Will catch up more soon, thanks for the music!

posted November 07, 2015 08:17 AM            

It's an overcast morning and that seems to weaken the power of caffeine, magically. My brain should be peppier after a huge cup of coffee but instead it's like, the sky is reproduced in my head...it's gray and cloudy.

You'll bear with me? Because I just wanted to talk. Hope you don't mind some piecemeal quoting:

quote:

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I 'understand' the pain of Sisyphus. I think more and more and more people feel like that these days in Society where it's basically run on the philosophy of every-man to themselves, and anyone who falls-behind gets left-behind.

---

I don't know Sisyphus so I will research that, now...wiki says: "He was punished for his self-aggrandizing craftiness and deceitfulness by being forced to roll an immense boulder up a hill, only to watch it roll back down, repeating this action for eternity." Ohhhhhhh

I love that you know the myths!!

Well you are right about society, I mean it's gotten to be pretty terrible every which way....sometimes I think the way we go about solving problems, as a society, always ends up creating newer, bigger problems. It's godawful sad to me, very apparent on every level. Just want to extend my compassion to you, for the way you are peculiarly tangled up in it. Ironically if we all end up alone, none of us is alone, we all have the same condition, we're just blocked from using that as a "bonding" material.

quote:

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They sat together as a group assembled, and I found out that I had been set-up to be the butt of a HUGE cruel and humiliating joke.

---

School is too cruel. It's a social experiment that backfires in damaging ways that are never healed....and anyway, girls picking on you? You were most likely just too pretty and smart for them! So they go on the attack. Immaturity!

quote:

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I can get pretty intense into what I'm doing for people. Didn't want to bowl you over with too much information at once. (I was told about that tendency I have, too.)

---

Very true and I appreciate it from here to the moon and back! To infinity and beyond!
You're amazing...how few people are willing to help and support as much as you help! I just hope everything comes full circle to you...that what you put out there returns to you, in some way, shape, or form.

And I hope I never let you down...but if I do, 'hope it's very obvious to you that it's got nothing to do with you, it would all be my own poverty of spirit, that made me blind, ungrateful-seeming, insensitive, obnoxious...my 6H sun square Pluto keeps "a list" of my vices, past and present...and not to grovel too much and say it's always my fault if there's tension, but a pretty good chance of it? But...I also try very consistently to be mindful of others' feelings...I can just lapse in that sometimes. Lately I'm trying harder to step outside of myself and get a more objective picture.

I will start a new post so I can use emoticons again...and get more coffee...well but first, a coffee emoticon...

posted November 07, 2015 09:08 AM            

Also wanted to make a general comment that I appreciate when you talk about what's going on in your chart, how it affects your life...I'm always in awe of what a great sense you have for it...you are SO "in tune." Like, you are one of Rick Levine's tribe. I know you'd like to become an official certified astrologer and hope you can make that come true, for everyone's sake! You're already magnificent, at this craft.

Speaking of my boy...*smile*

quote:

---

Rick said that Mercury Gemini's are "informationslutts"--- omg! I. am. ~STILL LMAO from that one! He's funny-hysterical when he conjures some of his imageries. Soooo right-on!
... I mean, he looked kind of ~uncomfortable just before he said this? Then you could just see the pressure peaking. It's a genuine-moment building and building inside him, and then~~~ it was as though inside he says 'o what the hell, I'm calling it for what it is!!' He burst out with it! LOL!!!

---

LOL...well I like that. My Gemini Mars definitely likes informationslutts, it's like, uh huh, bring it on!!

And yes, I can picture Rick's expression! Well I've seem him do that build-up...this Aries cyclone in his head with...let's see his chart...sun-Mercury-Mars-Venus in a clique in Aries t-squaring the Cancer moon and Libra Neptune. Holy cow...no wonder.

*pauses for a minute*

I never took the time to let that sink in....my synastry with him is just unbelievable. And isn't it sweet, I almost have Elvis-level reverence for him.

And yes I'm aware that I sound totally nuts, but really, you know, sometimes you just gotta say~it~weird! It's not like I can turn the volume down on my enthusiasm...not when I'm amongst friends...why should I??

Everyone who knows me knows that I am prone to hero-worship. Is there really any harm in it? I have 5H Sag Venus debatably conjunct Neptune (6.12 orb)...let's see how others would walk in those shoes?

Quote:

quote:

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Those with Venus in conjunction to Neptune in their birth chart are generally sensitive, creative, and attractive people. An impractical nature when it comes to love, money, and personal possessions is notable, even if Venus-Neptune people approach the rest of their lives in a more sensible manner....

Their imaginations and fantasy worlds are rich, and Venus-Neptune people believe that there is something out there for them, even after disappointments. There's an ethereal or mysterious quality to them that is subtly seductive and very attractive. As loving as they are, there is an ethereal and universal quality to their love that keeps them oddly out of reach, yearning for something magical and ideal, that can make their lovers feel strangely excluded--their love almost borders on impersonal. These very creative people are often artists.

---

Saith cafeastrology.

So...that's that. I love Rick Levine even though he is 30 years older, 3,000 miles away, and probably hates Capricorns just as much as everyone else, LOL.

Onward...

quote:

---

You know, it's part of the Mastery I need for my H8 stellium. That it's important for me to SAY what I have to say to a group. To GIVE that opinion I formed. {{Heart}}

---

Yes. I don't have your chart handy but I assume you mean your Cancer planets...beautiful loving, deep energy that glistens (Jupiter-Uranus)...it's like superfood to feel the hunger of the collective soul...so please do keep dispensing it...ahhhh like a fountain, even if people aren't always drinking...it's so so lovely to have it there!!

My children are still asleep, they got to bed late last night...my husband went to an astronomy lecture and came home telling us stories...very cute and fitting, in a way, that my husband has gotten very much into astronomy in these recent years....

Never thought I'd hear him saying Aries point, or "in the constellation of Taurus," but these very expressions come out of his mouth!!! {{ jawdrop }} And this kept us all up late....

Plus it's a grey day....

But I should be waking them up.

Leaving off with this~~~~

Ho'oponopono

The history of that prayer is pretty intriguing...seems it was single-handedly converted from a communal exercise into a self-work concept...which, abstractly speaking, is now communal again, as people all over the world can participate.

Oh and in keeping with the original intention of this thread, I'm matching that meditation with a picture of the shelter I'd like to be in, while listening....

Not sure if the second picture is the interior of the first? If that's even possible? But it's possible in my imagination, so.....*smile*

More to say later, as always....

Have a beautiful, safe, happy, miraculous day, mirage!

posted November 07, 2015 07:55 PM            

I have SOOO MUCH TO SAY! I wanted to write sooo bad, but we had *woofers* quaking the concrete slab and filling the whole atmosphere here (along with a visiting Harley motorcycle-- was like a cavern).

Of course too, then my rm had to turn the TV up louder to compensate.

I coped pretty well, taking everything smoothly, then once the afternoon hit (would you believe) a visual migraine came on. (You know those posts where I write around the little rainbows on the screen? Yes, one of those.)

I can type around the rainbows, but decided not to push-it for a change. Otherwise I would have spent hours and hours of delicious writing here. (Have some thoughts about Rick's chart-- I don't think he hates Cappies, Faith. Sag??~(his H7) LOL more-maybe them than Cappies. But I have an idea about that for later-- it's All Good!)

{whoah!!!!! ~ugh, THAT was a BAD woofer car~~). ((I guess they're not done yet.)) Thought they were getting better when I started my post. sorry)) *sigh*}

Stayed in great spirits today.

I may as well wish you a very Good Night and loads of Sweet Peace in the wings for you tomorrow. *Heart* {{hug!}} (If across the street woofer-guy isn't as uber 'intense' tomorrow as he was all day today, I'll try to post.)

We have watching us. Love you... So much to share.

posted November 08, 2015 06:21 PM            

Faith, ... Here's a person I have admired very much. Nico is a Virgo, and has this way of wrapping words around "percerption."

I have felt a strong resonance with him in the past. After not watching him for almost a year, I felt a prompt to visit him again lately. Found this video today, and IT IS EXCELLENT.

posted November 09, 2015 07:31 PM            

I would like to open my Third Eye. Sometimes I think it flickers on but I don't know. Seems we occasionally peep at each other through that eye?

I got about halfway through his video, will do the other half later. I clicked out to watch a little girl reading things with her third eye while blindfolded. Prolly a hoax.
Then I looked at other hoaxes, wishing they were true...levitation...I really want that to be true.

I imagine you like this...

... ...

And wish it were different.

No migraines lately, I hope?

posted November 09, 2015 09:29 PM            

Thank you for being soooo kind and understanding about my need to VENT around the *woofy* issues. Maddening when you try and try, then UGH!
Big hug to you...

So INTERESTING about your 25-26 Libra degree connections. (And of course, my Neptune is there.) We 'inspire' each other. You sense my Vesta Cancer 8th relating to your Pisces Moon H8aqua. We enjoy talking about deep things with our water H12s.

You're going to have the New Moon Scorpio on your North Node H4, then Full Moon Gemini next to your PoFortune.

DIGRESS...
Have you noted the freak-out factor in my chart, especially starting Nov 26? How about CHRISTMAS???? *JAWDROP* then the New Years?... and for many months afterwards. *looks up*

uh, hey, GOD??? You know about all this, right?? Chasing away the poultry from my life, and surrounding me with the care of watchful sheepdogs, so No Harm shall befall me... and I come out smelling like a Rose that has opened.

Maybe that's good, because to me Quality is way more important than quantity when it comes to my peeps... With just *a few Good Men* a few stouthearted adventure-Souls, MUCH Good can break forth, like causing a Laser-Brightness to Beam down through black tree silhouettes onto a dark yet ready Earth.

Song!!!! (Your Epiphany Birthday Song {{Heart}} We're going to Bring that Christ Consciousness INTO this Earth, in even brighter magnitude! In Heaven as on Earth, The People SAW A Great Light! ... and It's for US, IN us. Burning Brighter and brighter each new day of living.

(music) They Followed His Star (BrooklynTab) [4:40] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBObzRrZCYc

God's Gathering up some special people right now.... For an Awesome Purpose. We need to Strengthen Our Hearts. He Watches, yes, He's Watching.

Word says He never gives us more than we can handle by ourselves-- .... Even Jesus had help. Simon the Cyrene was ordered to help Jesus carry his Cross on the Via Dolorosa. We're supposed to Lighten each other, make Burdens lighter. When we ARE the Living Stones and Lights in THIS world. We're supposed to be there to help another person stay okay. ... I just 'heard' AND what about having some Fun too?? ... *cries* yes, my dark Saturn. I need to Enjoy my Life--

So anyways! ~~ I went on an aside there. Going through turmoil these days, but getting a LOT of inner-work done too. I'm accomplishing much more psychologically-emotionally these past weeks, months. God wants me Cured from THIS life's past tragedies. Arranged my Chart personally.

Your Part of Fortune H11 is ON one of my name asteroids in my chart, and your Vesta is Partile (exact) my other name in your natal chart H9. (when using 6:30pm).

I think we could hack astrology for an entire weekend! ~ Just had a thought, wouldn't it be Cool if both of us were to go tease Rick by attending the annual Breitenbush retreat weekend (January).

An overload of his insights and his Brilliant Brrains at work??? (while we try to stay out of trouble?? nah, I think he'd LOVE it. We'd just enhance his Fun-self!!

{{Hey, I think Randall should buy us the tickets to go-- LOL. I haven't been on a real vacation since ~March of 1994!}}

You have an 'Elvis-type reverence' for Rick... awww that emoji is soooo cute!

He probably resists people who tend to idolize or put others on a pedestal? I tend to think very highly of Others... and that can make people uneasy. Sometimes I wonder that people can become 'confused' because they maybe they think I'm chasing after them sexually, when that's not the case? (I'm thinking about incidents I had in the early 80s, then early 90s. The early 80s one had a VERY good resolution after about a year of misunderstandings... turned out great. The early 90s one dealt with an insanely-jealous wife over a very flirtatious pastor-husband. Oh yeah, he got her going there... She had 'a reason'.)

Sometimes when I look 'adoringly' onto a person, I'm actually having an encounter with the image conjured by the mind's eye... I'm not looking at the person, per se. I'm Looking at and Seeing what they are Seeing and relating-- and sometimes I think it would be so cool to see that for real. I bet we'll be able to do that, some day, through computer interfaces? Or else, we'll just be sooo tuned-into the Etheric planes that we won't have to use computers for that. We'll have Open Thoughts. I would welcome such an existence. I think that would be so exciting. Like being naked... you get used to the imperfection-thoughts, like wrinkles on a face, and see the Beauty that is capable of happening in communications.

Cyclone in his head -- haha? ... How about more like a Hadron Particle Collider??? with those quintiles. He's trying to pin-down the God-Particle, the creation of the Universe itself. Digging the sequence out of blackholes and wormholes.

He's got that Beautiful soft sensitive Cancer Moon, which TRINES your Moon Pisces, my 8th Cusp, and Vesta Cancer trine my Saturn Scorpio.

As I now have more of a "feel" for 7 Leo Risings, you with Cancer on H12 are INDEED more exquisitely Sensitive than you like to 'show yourselves' to be? (I have a paragraph in a book to type on that--- when I'm not so light-headed, as I've been feeling off-on today.)

I think one of the reasons I can relate to you so well, is because we are both sensitive AND we both deal with a lot of 'irritations' in our chart. We perhaps can relate better because we both are into self-improvement, and wanting Higher consciousness. ...

A long time ago, I heard a tip about holding up a person's chart and looking at all the "pepper" lines (the minor aspects) lining the graph underneath the colored lines. (sorry it was so long ago, forgot 'who' authored the idea)

This astrologer says that the pepper is the amount of 'tension' imbedded into the life that person.... (Well omg, look at mine!!, and yours too Faith.) Lots of little-stuff peppered, tension looking for a way.

I remembered a couple people I'd met years ago, who took a minute to glance at my chart. *shaking their heads* ... then finally saying, there's enough good-stuff in there too, that in the end will help to ride out the bad. (I thought that was a good way to respond.--- I'm still picking at that lock to find the secret. Getting closer...)

So, I hope you're doing okay... You and all the 7++ Leo risings and 7++ Aquarius' too have asteroids Kryses Leo opp Angrilli. Your H12 to H1 opp H6 to H7. You've got t Ceres coming up on H7 Desc point too.

You've just finished exact of t BML opp natal BML... It's coming up on my Dobrynya now, and Shepherd. You know, sometimes I've found that I get all tensed up about BML transits, when ACTUALLY some really Good things have happened FOR me during those transits. So their not all bad.

Hillary Clinton has Dobrynya at 7+ Libra. She went through the Benghazi trial while t BML hovered it. The Pope has also been having Dobrynya stickiness problems. Sometimes!!! It can turn out to be really good when it starts resolving.

I better go now. Get ready for rm to come in the door any moment.

posted November 09, 2015 09:38 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Faith:
I imagine you like this...

... ...

And wish it were different.

No migraines lately, I hope?...

---

Didn't see your post there when I went to compose mine. I like your woofers. I used to have an emoticon that was PERFECT for the vibrations, but it's gone from the list I use now.

Migraines, kinda yes. They're strange... Much better tonight, though than the past two days. so yay!

posted November 10, 2015 06:45 PM            

quote:

---

Hey, I think Randall should buy us the tickets to go--

---

GREAT IDEA! It's true we both need a vacation.

I assume Breitenbush is someplace warm and balmy? Of course it is. And that will do wonders for our morale! Thank goodness for Randall, I'm sure these tickets will be coming soon. Well he's spiritual and probably looking for more ways to make the world a better place? You, me, and Rick having a symposium in the tropics would (I mean WILL) totally make the world better.

Oh it was so nice to get this long letter last night mirage. Wonderful reading, as always.

quote:

---

Have you noted the freak-out factor in my chart, especially starting Nov 26? How about CHRISTMAS???? *JAWDROP* then the New Years?... and for many months afterwards. *looks up*

---

Haven't looked at your chart in a while, but now I see....nothing very obvious to a neophyte, on Nov 26th...

OHHHH progressed moon-MC conjunct tr Saturn though, trine your pr sun, opposing your sun (conjunct tr moon on the 26th)...wow What can I say? I hope this manifests a dramatically good Thanksgiving!

Christmas: Tr NN-Jupiter on your moon, tr Mars on your Neptune ~ sweet! Like ARRIVAL! Ask Santa for a red convertible and maybe this time you will finally get it? Or, well...seriously, what is this? Seems like a great opportunity of some kind.

New Years' is almost touchdown for tr Saturn on your ASC, with pr Saturn exactly square pr ASC.

Ummmmm...do they sell insurance based on this kinda thing? Crikey. Not sure what that is about. Some folks cringe about 12H Saturn and might be happy about it finally crossing over the ASC...not sure how you feel about it?

They Followed His Star.....ooo she has a pretty voice. Seems like lifetimes ago that Epiphany was a real holiday.

Back to this...

quote:

---

I have felt a strong resonance with him in the past. After not watching him for almost a year, I felt a prompt to visit him again lately. Found this video today, and IT IS EXCELLENT.

---

I really appreciate the link and agree that he is an excellent speaker, his ideas are beautiful and well-presented. I just find it so tough to watch him.

And I'm not sure why. Some people...they seem to carry life stories inside that are still "narrated" by their expressions...these are tragic stories, and I inwardly wince to watch these folks. I'm not trying to claim psychic powers but my instincts have been accurate in the past. First time I saw the Dog Whisperer I was almost balling my eyes out within the first minute. He looked "happy" on the video, but I guess I noted a mismatch between his mouth and eyes, a drastic one. Turns out he had been suicidal, had been dealing with some extreme hardship. And I can't claim to know that about Nico, but it's the same feeling for me, like a bombardment with someone's "pain body" (to borrow an expression from Eckhart Tolle...not sure how common it is.)

I watched other third eye videos and found a few of them jarring as well. Makes me wonder if opening the third eye makes a person speak with a new kind of forcefulness, which I am just not accustomed to and not yet comfy with.

quote:

---

God wants me Cured from THIS life's past tragedies. Arranged my Chart personally.

---

I have more to say....

posted November 10, 2015 07:25 PM            

quote:

---

I tend to think very highly of Others... and that can make people uneasy. Sometimes I wonder that people can become 'confused' because they maybe they think I'm chasing after them sexually, when that's not the case?

---

Ugh I find it terribly messy to be always liking people and not knowing how to express it. Part of me just wants to hug everyone and struggles with life in a cold and restricted society. And then I struggle because, when I seem friendly to all, the ones who stand out as extra special to me usually don't know it. They think I'm just like that to everyone, or I'm trying to win a popularity contest (ie, being insincere) or too easily impressed. I hate feeling like my own appreciation for people just doesn't count. Not sure what the higher purpose is, of having stronger feelings for people. I don't understand the spiritual aspect of romance in the slightest bit. Really seriously perplexes me...why does it exist? But I'll have just as much luck wondering why penguins exist. They just do.

quote:

---

Sometimes when I look 'adoringly' onto a person, I'm actually having an encounter with the image conjured by the mind's eye... I'm not looking at the person, per se. I'm Looking at and Seeing what they are Seeing and relating-- and sometimes I think it would be so cool to see that for real.

---

Explain more please? Is your Third Eye open, would you say?

quote:

---

As I now have more of a "feel" for 7 Leo Risings, you with Cancer on H12 are INDEED more exquisitely Sensitive than you like to 'show yourselves' to be?

---

Maybe? I dunno! I get embarrassed watching videos of myself because I feel like I give everything away with my eyes. Things I thought were hidden...it's right there on my face! YIKES

But we don't talk about these things...if my eyes are really soft towards someone, they would never say, "I see that dreamy look! Caught you! Why do you look at me this way??" because people just don't talk like that.

quote:

---

I think one of the reasons I can relate to you so well, is because we are both sensitive AND we both deal with a lot of 'irritations' in our chart. We perhaps can relate better because we both are into self-improvement, and wanting Higher consciousness. ...

---

It's hard for me to relate to people with overly easy charts. It's like crossing the species barrier to talk to them, sometimes.

quote:

---

This astrologer says that the pepper is the amount of 'tension' imbedded into the life that person.... (Well omg, look at mine!!, and yours too Faith.) Lots of little-stuff peppered, tension looking for a way.

---

Heheheh I love that idea. So, this is the semisquares and sesquiquadrates? Sheshquishquares...I think you said? LOL

*checking yours*

WHOA!!! It's all over the upper hemisphere! Like stars.

quote:

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I remembered a couple people I'd met years ago, who took a minute to glance at my chart. *shaking their heads* ... then finally saying, there's enough good-stuff in there too, that in the end will help to ride out the bad.

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It's really an unusual chart, but...true...lots of gifts there. I love the Neptune-Pluto-Mercury minor triangle, with the moon on the Pluto-Neptune MP. My pr sun turns it into a kite...yes...I feel that talking to you helps me fly.

Mmmm that stirs up a craving for the Pink Floyd song Learning to Fly...(( listening ))

I would link it, except it's loud, and you have to hear enough loud stuff.

But anyway the lyrics are cool:

Above the planet on a wing and a prayer,
My grubby halo, a vapour trail in the empty air,
Across the clouds I see my shadow fly
Out of the corner of my watering eye
A dream unthreatened by the morning light
Could blow this soul right through the roof of the night
There's no sensation to compare with this
Suspended animation, a state of bliss
Can't keep my mind from the circling skies
Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit, I

No matter how much I talk I always want to talk more!

Thanks for being so ceiling-less and elastic, helping me feel like we can just keep roving all around exploring, just like that song!

And I hope this post finds you well.

posted November 10, 2015 08:48 PM            

I had another short post here, but it went ~all weird with hyperlinks in the paragraphs. And your other two posts hadn't shown up yet.

I'll bring back this material at a slightly later time... (Breitenbush is up NORTH in Oregon-- a campground, Cold!! Outdoor potties!! )

See you later!

Happy New Moon Scorpio 19+ tomorrow...
(What a Blessing it is to converse with you.)