posted April 21, 2010 11:09 PM            

Pisces Asc, ahh, I have ALOT of Pisces people in my life, and was having this very discussion today, about Pisces people creating situations, not necessarily drama, but the SITUATIONS that would foster drama.
I know exactly what you mean, Leaping.
And I feel for you, I really do.
Because you are so young, and you know this already, and you have so much more life to live.
But, maybe that is good, because since you know, you are ahead of the game.

I didn't grow up until very recently, and I'm still growing.
Growing pains always hurt.

ETA: AND, the love triangle thing. OY! My middle name should be triangle. Oddly, that is my favorite shape. But, yes, I find myself in similiar situations, only, I never KNOW about the triangle until I'm already invested, and then the Aries Asc kicks in, and it becomes a competition. In which, I MUST WIN.

Now that I can look back objectively, more than half the time it wasn't even about the guy, it was about winning.
Once I won, I tended to lose interest, UNLESS he started up with the girl again, thus beginning the whole cycle over.

posted April 23, 2010 09:39 AM            

BFF:
Oh, I know it's last minute, but I'm having a birthday party for Sam, tomorrow, from 3-7, and then an adult after party.

ME: uhh, well, I have to go to a funeral today for Rick's Mom (guy we both went to high school with, he is flying in from Afganistan as I'm writing this..) and then tomorrow, I have a doctors appointment, and I'm helping with the garage sale that the Chrome Divas are having for breast cancer, and then we (Rick, his wife, me and a bunch of other people) are going to Karoake.

BFF: Oh, well you could just swing by sometime in there, couldn't you?

ME: Well, anything is possible, but I am not driving.

BFF: Who is driving

ME: Rick and Heidi

BFF: Ok, no problem, they are welcome too!

ME: Uhh, well, seeings how Rick is burying his Mom today, I kinda doubt he will be in the mood to go to a child (that he doesn't even know!) birthday party..

BFF: Well! You could ask! There is no harm in asking is there?

ME: Nope, no harm in asking.

BFF: K, great, so what time will you be here??

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I love her though.
Her stats:
Sun/Aries
Asc/Cancer
Moon/Virgo
Merc/Pisces
Mars/Aries
Venus/Aqua

posted April 25, 2010 06:49 PM            

Is this weekend over yet? It has to end soon, or I'll throw myself from the shed roof.

Friday was a funeral. That's always lovely, and I'm not going into detail there.

I went to the after party thing, but I got tired and came home about ten o'clock.

Good thing I did, because as I was perusing my FB, my Aqua friend of 27 years, drunk off her A S S, decides to write something COMPLETELY inappropriate on my wall, for the world to see.
This concerning my ex-sco who lives at her house.
See, she reads his phone, cause she is psycho that way.
They are supposed to be having an "open" (READ - we have sex every now and then when we are bored) relationship.
Only, she can't take the open part when it comes to him.
So, she starts drama with me on a public forum.
I immediately erased it, then deleted her, which has caused a non-stop 2 day barrage of messages flying back and forth.

Today, he called me to meet for a beer. I said, "are you insane, after what you two have put me through all weekend????"

He was genuinely shocked and perplexed abouth the whole situation, apparently he knew nothing of it.
So, I had to fill him in.
He aplogized profusely, and said "I don't know where she comes up with her demented ideas!"
And before anyone says, "he probably tells her this stuff," I can assure you he doesn't! I have heard the stuff he says to her, and she has never once told me he has said any of these things she thinks are going on between them.

I am so drained. I finally have decided to cut the strings to her. 27 years or not.
Sometimes, you just have to let people go, and let them find their own way.
When they are blind, it's because they choose to be, to serve their own dreams and motivations.
I'm not going to wake her up, and I'm tired of taking all the slack when things go bad, and she wants to turn to me.
There is only so much I can take.

It's a startling moment in life, when you look back on a friendship, and realize that the WHOLE time, it was YOU doing the giving, and them doing the taking.

posted April 30, 2010 04:15 PM            

My co-Grandma's husband was killed this morning. My Grandson will never know his Grandfather. *sigh*

My own Grandfather was BORN on this day.

The cycle of life and death NEVER ceases to amaze me...

I went to the river, to look for answers. Sometimes, the River knows a heck of alot more than Yours Truly...

Construction is going on everywhere down there. So hard to meditate with giant machinery, going, "BEEP, BEEP, BEEP!!" behind your head.

"SIGNS SIGNS, EVERYWHERE ARE SIGNS, BLOCKING UP THE SCENERY, BREAKING MY MIND, DO THIS, DON'T DO THAT, CAN'T YOU READ THE SIGNS???"

It said, "Do not enter," I entered anyway..

The river talked to me. The sunlight put thousands of diamonds on the bluish/green/gray waters.

Farther down, the river was silent, flat and reflective as glass. But where I was, it sparkled, I mean it was LIT up.!
The diamonds were shining, each one as perfect as the next, not one was more spectacular than the other.
Some diamonds were so far away from other ones, and some were teamed up. But, they all co-existed in The River. Not one was fighting for dominance.
This is life, we are all diamonds in the river. Nobodies light shines any brighter than the next.
Except in our own eyes.
But not in REALITY.

The wind blew and the diamonds slowly made their way North. New diamonds took their place.
I was still enamoured with the old diamonds, and watched them leave until they were gone, but pretty soon, it was hard to distinguish the new diamonds from the old diamonds..

And that is the circle of life, isn't it??

I dreamt of my Grandma last night. That rarely EVER happens anymore, she's been gone so long..
I thought maybe it was because today would of been my Grandpa's birthday, had he not drunk himself to death over her demise...

She was telling me to give something up, and I was very torn about it. I can't remember what the something was. I have a vague memory of a Barbie Doll, or dollhouse?? IDK.
Maybe she was saying give up childish things? Or "things" in general.
Maybe she was just saying, give up resistance.. go with the flow, just like the river. Be a Diamond, let your light shine, and keep moving. Dunno.

RIP, Jeff Hensley, you were a good Dad, and I'm glad you got to know my precious Guppy, even if for only less than two months.
May God receive you in His Loving Arms, and grant peace to your family.

posted April 30, 2010 04:31 PM            

quote:

---

Farther down, the river was silent, flat and reflective as glass. But where I was, it sparkled, I mean it was LIT up.!
The diamonds were shining, each one as perfect as the next, not one was more spectacular than the other.
Some diamonds were so far away from other ones, and some were teamed up. But, they all co-existed in The River. Not one was fighting for dominance.
This is life, we are all diamonds in the river. Nobodies light shines any brighter than the next.
Except in our own eyes.
But not in REALITY.

---

That sounds beautiful (and I agree with the sentiment, you described that beautifully Made me wish that I could see it in person).

I'm sorry to hear about the loss of the baby's grandfather, and your own.

posted April 30, 2010 04:49 PM            

quote:

---

The river talked to me. The sunlight put thousands of diamonds on the bluish/green/gray waters.

Farther down, the river was silent, flat and reflective as glass. But where I was, it sparkled, I mean it was LIT up.!
The diamonds were shining, each one as perfect as the next, not one was more spectacular than the other.
Some diamonds were so far away from other ones, and some were teamed up. But, they all co-existed in The River. Not one was fighting for dominance.
This is life, we are all diamonds in the river. Nobodies light shines any brighter than the next.
Except in our own eyes.
But not in REALITY.

The wind blew and the diamonds slowly made their way North. New diamonds took their place.
I was still enamoured with the old diamonds, and watched them leave until they were gone, but pretty soon, it was hard to distinguish the new diamonds from the old diamonds..

---

OMG Thank you so much.

My condolences to you and your family Gypsee.

------------------
We cannot seek or attain health, wealth, learning, justice or kindness in general. Action is always specific, concrete, individualized, unique. --Benjamin Jowett

posted May 06, 2010 04:05 PM            

So, yesterday, I started to write some poetry, but instead of actually writing it, you know, "wrestling with my pretties,"

I decided to just write in a free form prose-y kind of way, which, is NOT poetry, and that is why it's NOT going to be posted in the Yellow Wax forum.

But, I learned that this method is very revealing to tap into one's emotions!
I mean, I'm sure I learned this in College, but, not many people practice the stuff they HAD to learn, and we all sort of become creatures of habits. Anyway...
So, this is what I wrote.

5/5/10 6:15 am.

Fair Weather, My Friend
and so it goes..
To You, I drink,
with raised glass
and lowered eyes.
Content now,
to face yesterday,
my back toward tomorrow

Leave behind
Sun drenched afternoons
bleached smelling skin,
pools of turqoise waters,
and deep brown eyes

Places where
You finished my sentences,
with your smile
or sentences that never began
with your hands

Praise, Praise for the nights
of 'Another Tequila Sunrise'
splashes of orange
and tinges of pink
Red outbursts; passions
never quiet

Loving You, was like fighting You
except
There could be no victor
only battle scars
invisible
until the glaring eyes
of dawn

So sure we were
of tomorrow
back there, in yesterday
Smug
in a sense
that Destiny was having her way
and that there were never any consequences
No piper to pay

Fair Weather, My Friend
I raise a glass to remembrance
of regular things
much finer tasting,
because YOU liked them
Wine became Vineyards
Fruit turned to Orchards,
every day was a surprise
That I could never pack for

Kisses promised, were kisses given
'Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I'm Yours'
but you were never mine
not really
You belonged only to the Earth
and the hills
The winds, and the skies

Pensive and apprehensive,
I peered around the calendar
Winter loomed large
holidays scared me
with their demands
on you.

"If I could save time in a bottle'
Still
I wouldn't take from You
the youthful dreams
You have time to believe in
and I wouldn't take away
any yesterdays
that have taught me better
I know the difference.

Fair Weather, My Friend
and someday
YOU will raise a glass
"To Remember When.."
You'll see it differently,
of course
But, Still
You'll see
It was me,
it has always been me.

*Now, interesting sidenote to my rambling. The person this was about contacted me out of the blue, and told me that they had dreamt of me, in the bar that I JUST got a job in.
There are no mutual friends on FB or anything.
He doesn't even have a FB account, and I NEVER posted it on Myspace.
So, I think I summoned him or something, IDK, anyway, he gave me a ride home today.

He hasn't changed much, but I was very glad to see him! I guess there are some things that never really end, not REALLY, you know? xox
Oh, and I wrote about him belonging to the skies? After I wrote it, I thought, "Why did I write that? He doesn't travel much, he is Water Sign, and he has never been particularly interested in the skies, or the heavens."

So today, he said, "Guess what my new hobby is???"

"What???"

posted May 06, 2010 06:19 PM            

*BIGHUGEDRAMATICSIGH*
K, now here is where it gets weirder.
I wasn't going to put this in, but now I think I'm supposed to.
If nothing, only to laugh at myself in the future, IDK?

So, last week on the SCORPIO full Moon, I went outside.. I think we discussed this on FB.
Anyway, I started talking to the Moon, just like the girl in your thread. Mine was outloud too, but not yelling, lol, that wouldn't do in my neighborhood!

So, I said something like I wanted CLEAR CUT, UNWISHYWASHY, HONEST TO GOODNESS SIGNS AS TO WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO WITH MY LOVE LIFE. I said, 'MAKE ME NOTICE, K, MOON????? Not something I have to twist into what I want! Please!

Then I thanked The Moon, and did what Apple said she did, I totally forgot about it.
*Being ditzy comes in handy sometimes.

EDITED*

Then I got the job, was there one day, and get the message from 'The Other One' about the dream he had.

WE have never been in this bar together.
Neither of us even hung around that side of town.
So for him to dream it, was totally random.
He told me more stuff about the dream, but, I'll keep that to myself for a little bit longer.

Anyway, do you ever just want to beat your head against the wall? It's an eternal question, with this sign stuff...

What THIS my sign, what THAT my sign, should I go this way or that...
Exhausting stuff. I write this all down to see how it plays out in the end. But, I think alot of life is pre-destined.
That doesn't discount all the people and situations you encounter along the way.
Like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz.
Wouldn't be much of a story without The Lion, The Scarecrow, The Tinman, etc..

posted May 10, 2010 03:17 AM            

I like the dreaming thing.

posted May 12, 2010 01:34 PM            

GAH! I forgot how hard it is to work with other women, in an industry where you are being judged on how you look and act.

Two of my co-workers are trying to get me fired. My manager was kind enough to inform me of this. He said, "Watch your back, they will probably try to set you up."

Why are people so damn insecure and threatened by other people??
So I'm younger, big freaking deal!
So I've brought in new business, THEY benefit as well!! NO BUSINESS = NO BAR! duh.

posted May 12, 2010 04:51 PM            

You sound like such a sweetie, but I am sure you are street smart enough that you know to keep them close, but watch your back in the short-term. Give them a few weeks and they will be eating out of your hand.

Your boss sounds like he is in your corner though?

posted May 13, 2010 07:54 PM            

I love this line..

quote:

---

Loving You, was like fighting You
except
There could be no victor
only battle scars
invisible
until the glaring eyes
of dawn

---

Just amazing...
btw.. I think it would be great in the Yellow Wax forum...IMO

Nah...take that back. It's too good for that kidding, kidding

And I've worked at places like that where you have to watch your back. But at least it sounds like your MGR is on your side. hahaha.. I just realized that I abriviated the word manager.. I'm a customer service rep so I abriviate everything as much as possible lol.

Anyway.. take care of you!

posted May 15, 2010 01:56 AM            

ANYYYYWAYYYY, my manager is maybe too much in my corner if you get my drift. I appreciate the inside info and whatnot, but, he's a little persistant with the flirting. AND that doesn't help with the other girls, when they see him treating me nicer.
I was called "Boss Fu*ker" the other day. That was pleasant.

I am trying to do my Saturn as Zala suggested in some old thread, I think.
I am trying very hard to keep a lid on the double fire temper, and the Merc in Scorp mouth.

I am trying to send these people love and prayers, and when they act up, I clear my mind and sort of send like an empathy vibe?
I guess that's what to call it.

I just keep repeating to myself that every single person has had a multitude of experiences which make them act the way they do, and none of those experience have anything to do with me.