posted March 06, 2021 06:11 PM              

quote:

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Originally posted by Graham:
I assume you (Chanterelle and teasel) are stating here that you do not consider me to be the sociopath which Aquaguy91 is accusing me of being. ... So, thank you for taking the time to do so.

However, it is clear from my interactions with him on the sweet peas in the rain board that my views and beliefs are incompatible with those of the LL forum - and that he may be right about me having already overstayed my welcome here.

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posted March 06, 2021 11:56 PM              

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
I was out of town all day today. Luckily, Ami closed it.

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Luckily in what way, Randall?

AQUAGUY was allowed to rant freely, and I was denied the opportunity to rant back?

Emotions that were running high were prevented from being released externally - and thus are likely to become internalised, to eventually create the kind of depression which one of those now closed threads was opened to address/explore?

A moderator closed a thread by accusing me of playing God, for openly expressing my opinion that AQUAGUY is not being helped by the moderators and members who are "kindly" fuelling his negative perception of life? [Does one need to be God in order to see that Aquaguy's inclination to "rail against the world" gets worse every time members here agree with his 'reasoning' for doing so?]

posted March 07, 2021 09:07 AM              

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
The Mod did as Mods are directed to do. After 20 plus years of running LL, I have found that closing contentious threads is the best solution. Otherwise, people join in and take sides, and the resulting divisiveness becomes far greater than the initial conflict was. I have certainly played my own role in that process during the early years. Part of the reason GU was created is to allow for an outlet, although, once a thread is closed, it is expected that those parties cease the interactions.

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I understand that the LL Moderators defence is always going to be "we were only following orders", And, hopefully, you will understand why I consider the Nuremberg Defense to be wholly unacceptable (no matter how small the related incident, or its consequences, may be. ... Rules are there to guide, and should never be applied rigidly or/and without mindfulness.

However, in this instance, I believe the rules were applied mindfully ... but also believe the conclusions (of closing the threads and recommending that "the parties cease interacting") are wrong.

Nevertheless, LL is your house/home ... and having been granted the privilege of being allowed into your home, I recognise/acknowledge/accept my obligation to abide by your rules whilst here.

And that (of course) means that I cannot remain here - as the resulting internalised anger will eventually become too-high-a-price for me to pay. ... [But, please do not deregister me - as I have not yet completed my input to the thread at http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum11/HTML/026371.html ... and intend to return to the forum if I can find a way to reconcile my current inability to be at peace with the house rules.]

posted March 07, 2021 02:13 PM              

quote:

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Originally posted by Eternal Energy:
What has happened here?...And when did all these happen?...

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Things blew up on the sweet pea board, after I replied to Aquaguy's thread on people not listening - which you also replied to.

That thread got closed, and Ami opened another one - about internalised anger leading to depression. And that one also got closed - with me having been "outed" as an insensitive troll and sociopath-with-a-Messiah-complex.

posted March 07, 2021 02:29 PM            

Some folks are just never going to get along with each other, many of us here have at least one. If someone doesn't want to work through the problem, then it can't be worked through - both need to be on board. I wish more issues could be worked through on LL, but sometimes there are those cases where only one person wants to/is able to, and so it won't work. The person who wants to sort it out gets frustrated trying and the person who doesn't want to gets frustrated being asked to. It's a no win. The only option at that point is to avoid each other (I learned this the hard way, and sometimes still have to learn it).

posted March 07, 2021 02:33 PM            

Can you understand that the one who got most hurt here was yourself?

Can you understand that when you say bad words to someone, these words are coming back to you to hit you and to hurt you with such a precision that it is impossible to get away?

Can you understand that none of you really intended to hurt the other, because you are both kind and good men?

Can you understand that each one of you has his own wonderful way of expressing himself that maybe is not combatible with the other's, but you are both very kind and good men?

You are both very much loved and appreciated in this place that we have all gathered. You have both good and tender hearts. You are both very good men. All you ask for is love. This is what we all ask for, behind every word, either good or bad.

posted March 07, 2021 03:39 PM              

I am not ok with him being ALLOWED to freely vent his feelings on me, if and when I happen to want to make a comment that he dislikes or finds upsetting. I am also not ok with moderators advising me to not make those comments, or/and to avoid commenting on any threads which he happens to be participating in (whether or not as the opening poster). And nor am I ok with the forum rule of closing threads as a mechanism for preventing the escalation of member confrontations.

posted March 07, 2021 04:43 PM            

I learned EARLY in my stay here at LL-- and used to advise newbies who ran into problems here-- to learn and 'know' your posters.
Learn the synergy that comes out of combinations of some.
. .
I usually keep an eye out for folks at LL who don't seem to be being received. I stay with them until they've joined one of the folds.

SP. I avoid going there to read nor make any posts.
With AquaG he has been recycling recirculating the EXACT-SAME male/female issues over and over and over--
Starting a new thread = groundhog day.
Like a comfortable pair of slippers, he'd make same arguments over and over. Almost scripted.
He's probably a very lonely person, and SP is the only 'group' that understands what he needs. Been here for years.
Everyone needs people like that?
. .
Energetically, SP has been tight. Closed.
Has BEEN that way for years.
People open up and discuss topics suited FOR there in other forums.. for a reason.

SP.. I only respond to Voix's thread for Global Suicide resources. Bump it when I come across information of interest to folks or see a member in need in another forum. {I have another Survivor's website someone recommends-- but I want to check them out, before possibly including the ref in Voix's thread.

You do GREAT Work here, Graham.
You've got people who adore you!

Word Fantastic in the UK means something 'negative'?
Wow, I had no clue. Fantastic is Excellent.
I love that word. So positive.

By the way, with me..
I tend to praise you a lot.
Thought it bothered you,
so in some threads in Astrology2.0,
I edited to bring the level of that down.
When your grandniece(?) was born, I went over-the-top, then it seemed you ignored the thread... I edited to remove the 'Angels' and Elton John's "Blessed" song(?) -- because I thought you didn't like it. Too much? Thought you wanted to keep that thread in stricter line.
(it's okay)

posted March 07, 2021 04:58 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Eternal Energy:

Can you understand that the one who got most hurt here was yourself?

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posted March 07, 2021 05:00 PM              

Personally, I think he would benefit from members and moderators confronting that issue ... But, why would anyone listen to me/an insensitive troll and sociopath-with-a-Messiah-complex?

posted March 07, 2021 05:12 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Graham:

But ... WHY does AG's anti-social behaviour go unchallenged on the LL?
. .
Personally, I think he would benefit from members and moderators confronting that issue ...

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Because FIRST, we are a "family" here, Graham.

SP -- Unless someone directly ASKS for it (and is open to it) it's not the forum for 'combative' therapies?
Not everyone with a psych degree there is an adequately trained individual.

Maybe SP are his only contact to friends he feels (in all the world) understands him.

Not everyone here is inwardly whole.

posted March 07, 2021 06:38 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Graham:
But ... WHY does AG's anti-social behaviour go unchallenged on the LL? .... Does anyone actually know? ... And does anyone think that it will be ok for him to behave that way in real life encounters with people?

Personally, I think he would benefit from members and moderators confronting that issue ... But, why would anyone listen to me/an insensitive troll and sociopath-with-a-Messiah-complex?

[Note : Having now read mirage's post, I see that my above questions have been answered. ... Thank you for doing that, mirage - and the Angels + Elton John stuff was always ok with me.]

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I remember some people having an issue with my anger, and my attempts to deal with something, only this person was really messing with me, and others. That still makes me angry. I think of the people who believed her, and I wonder if they ever found out the truth - because I dealt with their judgement of me, and someone else. It was a real gaslighting situation.

posted March 08, 2021 05:43 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Graham:
Thank you to all those that have posted here on this thread since the 06:41am 6th March 2021 reply from Chanterelle.

It will take me some time to process my guilt, and what I have learned from the related event(s). ... But, I can now see/understand how I entered the [b]Safe Place In The Realm of the LL Kingdom and non-mindfully "followed the orders of my conditioning/habitual-behaviour" (to bayonet the wounded, and those whom have befriended them).[/B]

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I responded on The Sorry Thread in Sweet Peas.

posted March 09, 2021 01:11 AM              

quote:

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Originally posted by Voix_de_la_Mer:
I responded on The Sorry Thread in Sweet Peas.

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posted March 09, 2021 01:32 AM              

"Internalised Anger
Just because one doesn’t express their anger in an assertive way or in a way that is aggressive or violent, it doesn’t mean that it will simply disappear. It will become internalised and so instead of someone feeling a sense of power through expressing it in some way; they can end up feeling disempowered.

It is often said that depression is a consequence of repressed anger. And this is partly because one will have to carry the emotional weight around with them and this is going to be a burden. One will not be speaking their truth; they will be denying what is true for them.

And when one doesn’t speak up for themselves and say what they need to say, it is inevitable that they will feel a loss of energy and power. It is also possible for one to become emotionally stuck and unable to change how they feel as a result of the internalised anger that has built up. This can then cause one to feel a sense of boredom and to be emotionally disconnected."
http://www.transformationalwriting.co.uk/blog/angerwhy-dont-some-people-get-angry-when-they-need-to

In my opinion. closing threads to avoid escalation of emotions results only in the internalising of anger by those whom have been denied the opportunity to express that strong emotion. ... And this fuelling of emotions then creates passive-aggression by those members. ... For example, I am finding it impossible to "not go" to the SPITR board (despite now knowing that it is unproductive/unwise for me to do so): Aquaguy has provocatively moved from his residence (in wankety wankerson) to a rent-free apartment inside the head of gamma/Grahma males* and Ami Anne started a thread on "sociopaths" which is clearly a passive-aggressive attack upon me.

Hence, the policy of closing threads to maintain peace/calm is serving only to ensure that there are no ripples on the surface of the water which betray the hunting going on underneath.

posted March 09, 2021 04:27 AM              

quote:

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Originally posted by Graham:
I understand that the LL Moderators defence is always going to be "we were only following orders", And, hopefully, you will understand why I consider the Nuremberg Defense to be wholly unacceptable (no matter how small the related incident, or its consequences, may be. ... Rules are there to guide, and should never be applied rigidly or/and without mindfulness.

However, in this instance, I believe the rules [b]were applied mindfully ... but also believe the conclusions (of closing the threads and recommending that "the parties cease interacting") are wrong.

Nevertheless, LL is your house/home ... and having been granted the privilege of being allowed into your home, I recognise/acknowledge/accept my obligation to abide by your rules whilst here.

And that (of course) means that I cannot remain here - as the resulting internalised anger will eventually become too-high-a-price for me to pay. ... [But, please do not deregister me - as I have not yet completed my input to the thread at http://www.linda026371.html-goodman.com/ubb/Forum11/HTML/ ... and intend to return to the forum if I can find a way to reconcile my current inability to be at peace with the house rules.]

Thank you for inviting me into your LL forum home, and for listening during my stay. [/B]

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posted March 09, 2021 04:29 AM            

the timing of both these actions you have noted above is suspicious and subtly indicative of passive aggression and continuing the discord.

It is unfair and surprising behaviour from moderators. I think an LL mod team overhaul is required (and overdue). There is no shame in admitting that you are not in the right mindset to be a moderator anymore. Some of the best content on LL is from members, not moderators, so people can still contribute excellent content to LL without the responsibility of moderation.